5 Keys to Simplifying Any Concept
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Photo by Bruno MonginouxWe live in a world ruled by information. Much of our lives are involved with the consumption of information. We read the newspaper in the morning. We sit in meetings at work. We check our email every hour. We read billboards on the highway while driving home. We watch the news on television. We surf the internet and check blogs. Our minds become so full of information that the words become noise. We feel tired from the constant demand on our attention; at work, at home, on weekends. More is not less. Less is more. Clarity is more. Personally, when I am hit with a lot of information, my mind shuts-off and I move on to the next thing. To be heard and understood, it is vital to keep things simple.
The ability to simplify any concept is an incredibly valuable skill in this information rich society. Not only is conciseness a vital skill in business, but in any and all communication. It demonstrates clarity of thought. It allows you to communicate information and ideas to be easily digested and understood.
But how do we distill information down to just the most important parts? My dear friend David Margolis is an expert at simplifying information. I recently asked him, “What are your suggestions to becoming a master at distilling information?” Here are the most important points from that conversation:
Life on Purpose: 15 Questions to Discover Your Personal Mission
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Photo by Thomas HawkI believe that we were all sent here for a reason and that we all have significance in the world. I genuinely feel that we are all blessed with unique gifts. The expression of our gifts contributes to a cause greater than ourselves.
First, a personal story
Last year, I was running at full speed; chasing after my dream of money and ‘success’. However, I had forgotten why I was running. Luckily, I met Jim (not his real name). Jim had achieved all the financial goals I was reaching for. He had financial independence, several successful businesses, homes in multiple countries, and the luxury to afford the finest things money could buy. Through hard work, persistence and sheer action; he had made it! But, Jim was not happy. He did not have the free time to enjoy his wealth. He wanted a family. He wanted peace. He wanted to live his life… but he was not able to. He had too many responsibilities, too much to lose, and too many things to protect. He had spent years building his castle, and now that it is complete, he is spending his time keeping it from eroding.
Getting to know Jim was a life altering and eye opening experience. His words snapped me out of my state of ‘unconsciousness’. It became clear to me that, “I did not want to spend the next 10 years chasing after money, only to find that I’ll be back at the same place I am at today; emotionally, mentally, and spiritually”. My ‘chase’ came to a screeching halt, everything was put on hold, and I spent the next two months re-evaluating my life and purpose.
How to Really Listen to Someone
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Photo by Thomas Hawk“To be interesting, be interested.
Ask questions that other person will enjoy answering.
Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.”
-Dale CarnegieEveryone desires to be heard. When we listen to others, we validate their need to be acknowledged and understood. Deep down inside, we all want to know that we matter, that we are important. Don’t you find that meeting someone who shows interest in what we have to say, we tend to take a liking to them instantly?
I’m not asking you to pretend to be interested in hopes of being liked, but rather to pay attention to this often overlooked and forgotten skill. In addition to improving your personal and professional relationships, listening also helps to prevent misunderstandings and facilitates cooperation.
The following are techniques to being an effective listener. I have learned these from communication courses, seminars and books on personal relationships. These are ones I’ve personally found to be useful when engaged in a conversation with other people:
- Mirroring - mimic the other personal facial expressions and body positions. React as if you have become their mirror. Mirroring will allow you to feel what they are feeling, and have a deeper understanding of feelings carried with the words. People will begin to feel very comfortable being around you without consciously understanding why.Did you know that a baby will mimic the expressions of adults? Try it next time you’re playing with a baby in a crib. Make a distinct face, and watch the baby’s reaction.I learned this technique first from a psychology textbook, and later from Tony Robbins. After trying it myself, I learned that you can experience what others are feeling, but might find yourself on the same wavelength with similar thoughts and visions. Our physiology (facial expression, gesture and posture) can affect our internal state. Mirroring is just a technique to put yourself in a position (literally) to accept and internalize the meaning behind the words.
- For example, you are sitting across the table from someone, the other person is holding a glass of water with his left hand, leaning forward and towards the right side. You mirror them by holding a glass of water or cup with your right hand, leaning forward and towards the left side.
- Mirroring - mimic the other personal facial expressions and body positions. React as if you have become their mirror. Mirroring will allow you to feel what they are feeling, and have a deeper understanding of feelings carried with the words. People will begin to feel very comfortable being around you without consciously understanding why.Did you know that a baby will mimic the expressions of adults? Try it next time you’re playing with a baby in a crib. Make a distinct face, and watch the baby’s reaction.I learned this technique first from a psychology textbook, and later from Tony Robbins. After trying it myself, I learned that you can experience what others are feeling, but might find yourself on the same wavelength with similar thoughts and visions. Our physiology (facial expression, gesture and posture) can affect our internal state. Mirroring is just a technique to put yourself in a position (literally) to accept and internalize the meaning behind the words.
How I Ended My Relationship with Coffee
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Photo by jacob chenLet me just start by saying that I loved my cup of ‘Grande Soy Latte’. But, I didn’t like how it made me feel after the ‘kick’ worn off. I live in Seattle, the home of Starbucks, where coffee culture is BIG, and coffee shops are sprinkled on every street corner. Every day, I walk past seven coffee shops on my short eight-minute walk to the office. Deciding to quit was a personally challenging one, and I am very proud to announce that I’ve been ‘clean’ for 8 months.
Caffeine can be a sneaky little pick-me-up. I hated how it made me feel afterwards and how much I was dependent on it. Here are other reasons why I decided to quit:
- I was sweating more.
- I would get nervous for no reason.
- I would feel dehydrated
- I felt mentally “numb,” less sensitive to my surroundings, less intuitive and less creative
- It was hard to truly relax and be calm.
- Headaches from lack of caffeine.
- I saw my friend hospitalized from too much coffee on a regular basis.
- I learned that coffee is highly acidic (I’ll cover acidity and alkalinity in food in another post)
- Caffeine masks both our true physical and emotional states. Giving my body a false boost of energy made it harder for me to tell what I really needed: more food, more sleep, more calmness?
So, I decided to end my eight year ‘love affair’ with coffee (who I ’saw’ at least twice daily). How did I do it? The answer lay in restructuring my habits. I started with staying off coffee for two weeks, and then another two weeks, which eventually turned into eight months.
The Secret to Self Loving
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Photo by emmaThis past year, I have come to appreciate the power of truly loving myself. Most of my life, being alone was one of my biggest fears. I found myself in numerous relationships for the wrong reasons and ended up settling in ill-fitting ‘partnerships’. This deeply rooted fear and lack of understanding of myself caused the relationships to become my whole world; my focus of attention; my center. I would sacrifice my own goals for the other person. And, when the relationship collapsed, so did my sense of self.
Through much introspection, I realized the source of these failed relationships was myself. I realized that I didn’t truly love or appreciate myself and had relied on external sources for love and approval. I decided to change. I had to overcome my fear of loneliness by finding independence and personal freedom. Even since I found true appreciation for myself, the quality of relationships I have attracted has been phenomenal. I have discovered that the more I loved and understood myself, the less I feared being by myself, and the more healthier relationships I was able to attract into my life.
I started doing what I called “Dates with myself“. Regardless my external relationship status, I would schedule time with myself. I would literally take myself out on a date and spend that time totally focused on myself. It’s my time. We spend so much time and energy focused on others that we forget to recharge the source of that energy. It is only when you are well that you can have the energy and internal resources to make a positive difference and help others. This is a simple, yet powerful concept that can dramatically improve your wellbeing, effectiveness and mental health.
Cleaning Out Your Life: One Closet at a Time
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Photo by jamelahA clean and organized closet provides many benefits: better space utilization, your items are organized and accessible, not to mention the biggest gains: an organized closet space adds to the harmony of your home, as well as your mental wellbeing. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world, and because everything carries with it energy, the mess in our environment can affect how we feel subconsciously. We might suddenly feel very irritable without knowing why. Your closet and the surface spaces of your home are good places to start this cleaning process. This will result in a deeply therapeutic and fulfilling experience.
I did a deep closet cleaning a year ago, and let me tell you, such heavy ‘mental bags’ were lifted off my shoulders. I gave away 11 bags worth of clothing and shoes (see picture) and I felt like a new person: empowered, organized, light and a new beginning.
Here are some strategies for cleaning out your closet space…
7 Hacks to Remember Any Name
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Our name is one of those hard wired words in our subconscious (like “Free” and “Sex”), which has the intrinsic trigger to get our attention. You are more likely to react and respond to the sound of your name than say the word “apple”.
The ability to remember people’s names is an incredibly useful skill, in business and social interactions. Do you remember how impressed or surprised you were the last time someone remembered your name? I still get impressed, and I tend to remember these people in an especially warm and friendly light.
I have a distinct, short and easy to remember name (”Tina Su”). I often fall victim to the embarrassment of not remembering names of people who approach me with “Hi Tina, how are you?” My mind would go into panic, thinking “Oh crap! What’s her name again?”
I have developed the following techniques to help myself remember names. I’ve used each one extensively and they have proven to be effective in my experience. I want to share these with you, and hope that you will find them as valuable as I have.
Similar to keeping your inbox uncluttered, the trick is to take immediate (mental) action upon a new introduction.
1. Trust Yourself
Many of us ‘believe’ that we are “horrible at names” and we are very ‘proud’ of this fact by telling other people about it. By relying on this story we’ve created, we instantly forget people’s names the moment we hear it, without even trying, because we are “horrible at names”. I have been guilty of this. So, STOP telling people that you are “Bad at names”. You are not bad at names, you just have not implemented a system that worked for you yet. Tell yourself, “I am fantastic at remembering names! And I’m gonna practicing start now.”
2. Seeing Faces
If you know another person with the same name, try the following:
- See that person’s face in your imagination.
- Now, see the person’s face bounce up-and-down (perhaps smiling at you).
- Now, see the new person’s face, bouncing up-and-down beside the first face.
- Repeat steps A to C several times
9 Ways of Cultivating Creativity
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I believe that Creativity and Spirituality are interconnected. By spirituality, I don’t mean religion, I’m referring to the human spirit, our Source, that place in us that feels connected to Life. Napoleon Hill calls it “Infinite Intelligence“. Deepak Chopra calls it “Pure Consciousness“. My friend Joshua Roman described it beautifully, “..that place in us that never ends.”. This beautiful place in us cannot be accurately described by words, and can only be felt by the heart.
Being creative is simply relaxing into that place in you and connecting with this “Infinite Intelligence”. It is a gift in each of us, waiting to be discovered. We are all talented beings, because we all have access to the same infinite Source. We are all richly endowed, naturally.
When we act from a place of Creation, we are in a place of abundance, where there are no bounds. Limitations and scarcity only comes when we act from a place of Competition.
There is no such thing as “Being more creative“, you ARE already a creative being. But, you can practice to become more in-tuned or aware of that creative energy surrounding you, all the time, of which you have unlimited access to.
Here are 9 practices I personally use to helps me in ‘cultivating’ creativity.
Practice:
- Being Relaxed - Take a moment to do something that makes you happy; that brings you joy; that you love; that centers you. Meditate, take a walk, go for a swim, read something that puts you in a good mood, journaling - writing down your thoughts (this can be so rewarding!).
