I’ve been feeling pretty scattered lately. I think it’s because it’s been 3 weeks since I had quality alone time, and somehow in that time, taking care of myself slipped to the bottom of my priority list, again.
Yes, I know it’s important. At least in theory: taking care of myself will benefit everyone around me, and not doing so will hurt the same people I love. But when things get busy, as they always do, something has to give.
I yelled at Ryan today. At the top of my lungs, I asked, “What do you need from me?? What do you want?” No matter what I did, the boy just kept crying, at the top of his lungs. And by raising my voice I made it even worse. I just lost it. Lost in the noise of my own mind, blinded by frustration. Anger overcame my better judgment.
The look of horror on Ryan’s face is now imprinted on my memory, and I silently whispered a prayer that it isn’t imprinted on his.
When I picked him up, heavy tears rolled down his tiny face. And with the momentum of lifting him up, a few large drops landed on the edge of my mouth. They tasted salty, and at that instant, I felt a pang of sharp pain shooting through my body – pain from the sad realization that I had caused those tears.
So, I did something last night that totally scared me. I applied for the Sam-E Good Mood Blogger job – where the winning Blogger will be paid to blog everyday for 6 months, on being happy.
I need your help.
The competition is in two phases. Phase one is based on total votes from the general public [Vote for me here, no registration. 2 seconds. Read on for why you should vote for me.].
The 20 most voted bloggers move on to phase two, where they’ll be submitting a video entry showcasing (in a creative way) why they are the perfect fit for the job. The winning video will be based 20% on phase two votes and 80% on judge scores.
In my three years with TSN, you may have noticed that I’ve never published a video. Well, that’s because I’m terrified of them.
Seeing that the competition already started 12 days ago, and its deadlines conflict with my family’s schedule, I wrote it off, silently thinking, “Oh good, I don’t have to do the video.”
Who is in the driver’s seat of your life? Your job? Your family? The changing wind of life’s circumstances?
Ask yourself, “Is my life the way I want it to be?” If not, what is blocking you from jumping in the driver’s seat of your life?
Sometimes, it feels impossible to take control when you are stuck in a job you dislike because it pays the bills. Or when you can’t find a job. Or when you know your friends or family will reject you if you choose a different life path.
Life can sometimes be like a sticky spider web — the more you struggle against it, the more stuck you become.
Yes, life does have limitations, some of which are unchangeable. But a very large percentage of our lives is in our control — enough to profoundly impact how fulfilled and happy we feel on a daily basis.
It’s safe to say that one of the greatest feelings in the world comes from the warmth of being unconditionally loved. Whether that mean the love of your spouse or partner, or the connection you share with your mom or dad. Or even the loving bond between your siblings and friends.
I’m extremely grateful for all the love that I’ve had in my young life. But the truth is, there are many parts of the world where unconditional love is lacking. With wars taking place each and every day, messy political battles, starvation, and greed; the world needs you more than ever.
Because even in the darkest of alleys, remains the fact that we as humans are meant to love.
I wrote this essay nearly 4 years ago during my sophomore year of high school, and to me, it captures the essence what unconditional love really is. Certainly, my birthparents weren’t the only ones to show me this mysterious force, but the story carries an invaluable lesson that you can probably relate with.
Unconditional love is the solution to all of the worlds’ ills.
While the details of this story may differ from yours, I ask you to go forth and share the light within you.