By: Barrie Davenport
Who is in the driver’s seat of your life? Your job? Your family? The changing wind of life’s circumstances?
Ask yourself, “Is my life the way I want it to be?” If not, what is blocking you from jumping in the driver’s seat of your life?
Sometimes, it feels impossible to take control when you are stuck in a job you dislike because it pays the bills. Or when you can’t find a job. Or when you know your friends or family will reject you if you choose a different life path.
Life can sometimes be like a sticky spider web — the more you struggle against it, the more stuck you become.
Yes, life does have limitations, some of which are unchangeable. But a very large percentage of our lives is in our control — enough to profoundly impact how fulfilled and happy we feel on a daily basis.
Just knowing that you have some control is enough to change your perspective from hopeless to optimistic.
Creating The Life You Want
The very first step toward creating the life you want is to become a blank slate. Allow yourself to be open to some new ways of thinking, a different perspective. This may require you to shift some old beliefs or let go of your current “personal operating system“.
When you begin to make small shifts in your thinking, you open big doors for new ideas and opportunities.
21 Truths to Living the Life Your Want
1. Understand that sustained happiness rarely comes from outside circumstances. Your wealth, beauty, power, or acquisitions have far less to do with happiness than your appreciation for what you have this very moment and your loving relationships with others.
3. You can’t have it all, but you can have enough to be very happy. Prioritize and focus on the top 3 or 4 most important areas of your life.
4. Stop focusing on what you don’t have or don’t like. Focus on what you do have and do like, and create a plan for what you think you can improve and change.
5. Abandon perfectionism. It is a useless pursuit with no end. It creates stress and unhappiness. Learn to find the balance point between good enough and peaceful living.
6. Put your own deepest needs first. If you are living for others before yourself and pushing your own needs aside, eventually you will crumble in some way — through depression, anger, anxiety or destructive behaviors.
7. Your choices may disappoint or offend others. That is sometimes necessary in order to grow and live authentically. Those who love you and want the best for you will accept and support you.
8. Count your blessings. You probably already have many of the things you want for your life. Don’t take them for granted.
9. Address personal issues head-on. Don’t use these as an excuse for not having what you want in life. If you have a wound, a personality or relationship problem, or an anxiety, go to a counselor and work on it. Resolve it. Weak people don’t go to counselors, but strong forward-moving people do.
10. Pick one small problem or irritation and resolve it. Feel how much personal power and energy that gives you. Imagine how it would feel to resolve one of your bigger problems or concerns.
11. Consider disengaging from people who bring you down or drain your energy. Build relationships with people who are positive, action-oriented, and supportive.
12. Pick the one change that would make the biggest positive difference in your life. Begin visualizing your life with this change implemented. Practice this regularly throughout the day.
13. Take this one step further and begin writing some specific action steps that might help make this change happen.
14. Strengthen your strengths. Make yourself indispensable in your area(s) of interest and expertise.
15. Always leave time for fun. Make fun happen in your life.
16. Don’t neglect your relationships. Don’t take them for granted. Find out what makes your loved ones happy, and do that for them.
17. Learn to let it go. Worry is the most fruitless expenditure of energy on the planet. Very little is worth worrying about. If you must do something, take action instead.
18. Don’t assume that you can’t do something. Prove that you can’t, and if so, try something else.
19. More often than not, your fear is the culprit for inaction. More often than not, your fears are unfounded or at least out of proportion. More often than not, your fear will go away once you take action.
20. Focus on the task at hand. When you feel overwhelmed and pulled in many directions, just pick an important thing and do it without distraction. Then do another one.
21. Life is short. You have a limited number of days on this Earth. There isn’t time to waste your days in worry, anger or frustration. Make the most of this moment and the next and the next and the next . . .
If you want to have a wonderful life, spend your days in positive, forward-moving action and thought. Dismiss your longings for what you don’t have. Enjoy the actions as much or more than the outcomes.
The real secret to having the life you want is learning to love the life that you have.
About the Author: Barrie Davenport is a personal, career and blog coach and the founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about fearless personal growth. She is also the editor-in-chief of The Daily Brainstorm, a blogazine. Please download a copy of Barrie’s free eBook, How to Live a Meaningful Life.
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