Train Your Eyes to See Color, Again

96 Comments

There are many reasons why we don’t always get what we want. One of these reasons is because we focus on the opposite of what we want. Sometimes, we just can’t help it. But, if we are conscious of our thoughts, we can intercept these thoughts and shift our frame of mind towards our desired goals.

Have you ever been particularly annoyed by a person or situation? The more we complain about it, the more we notice it. The more we notice it, the worse it becomes. The next time we interact with that person or situation, we almost expect to be annoyed and thus subconsciously look for those small triggers that’ll make us annoyed.

In a similar example of an opposite scenario: Have you ever shopped for a particular kind of car which you’ve never noticed before? For example, a black SmartCar or a silver Toyota Prius. And suddenly, you see them everywhere? Similarly, have you shopped for a particular piece of clothing, let’s say a blazer style jacket for the spring, and suddenly you notice them everywhere?

Whether we focus on things we want or do not want, the truth is that What we focus on expands.

From my experience, dreams do come true, for the sole reason that the more you focus on something, the more of it you’ll notice and you’ll be particularly sensitive to opportunities that’ll come your way which will allow your dreams to become your reality.

Try It For Yourself! A Simple Exercise

Not convinced of what I’m saying? That’s cool. I still like you. :) But before you throw your hands up, try this simple yet powerful exercise. It’s so simple, you could do it anywhere.

1. Next time you are walking or driving somewhere, or sitting on the bus or a car. Remember to do this.

2. Pick a color and focus on it. Look for that color in your field of vision as you’re moving about. For example, focus on the color red.

3. Do this for several minutes. Do you notice this color in so many places?

4. Pick another color and focus on it. Forget about the first color, just focus on the second. For example, try the color green.

5. Continue for several minutes. Scan your surroundings. Do you suddenly notice your second color popping up everywhere?

6. Repeat several times using different colors each time.

Pretty cool huh? As simple or as silly this may sound, it’s a powerful exercise that I like to play around with. Each time we shift our focus on a new color, it feels like a shift in vision, or putting on special glasses that only filters this color.

I first learned about this cute technique from my mother. We were in the car and I was particularly annoyed about something and I started acting like an unreasonable child. She used this exercise to remind me that focusing on thoughts of frustration will only makes our frustrations stronger. I was deeply touched by the experience. I learned that we can proactively shift our thoughts by shifting our focus. A shift in our thoughts will shift our emotions, almost instantly.

Practices in Real Life

So, how can I put this into practice? Great question! There are many situations where you can benefit by putting your power of focus into practice. The following are some practical suggestions.

Annoying People - It’s inevitable that we will interact with people who frustrate us. Instead of focusing on why they are frustrating us or the feelings of frustration, focus on things we admire about them. It might take some practice, but start it the next time you are in their presence. Look for things you like about them and what you admire about them. Perhaps they have nice shoes, or a nice smile, or their work ethic is admirable. Focus on that and look for more to focus on.
Frustrating Situations - When situations do not favor our expectations, it can be super frustrating. But, the more we think about how annoyed we are, the more red-eyed and anger-consumed we become, which is not helping the situation or your health. Focus on the positives of a situation. Make an effort to pick them out. I know this can be tough to do, but just start. Look for things that you learned or enjoyed about the situation.
A personal story: More than a year ago, I traveled from Tibet to Nepal with my friends Jonathan and his wife Soyan. What should have been an easy 4 hour cab ride into the capital turned into a 10 hour ordeal resulting in 6 separate rides that got us into the city safely. It was a deeply frustrating and stressful situation, but amongst it all, we got to see the warmth of people from rural Nepal, and had a unique and enriching cultural experience.
Feeling Sick - When we don’t feel physically well, do you notice that we like to tell ourselves that we’re not feeling well? We like to tell anyone at any opportunity that “I’m sick”. While you are entitled to saying anything you like, what will actually help you get better is by focusing on being healthy. Enjoy this time as your body rests and recovers. Focus on the image of you in perfect health.
‘I Hate My Job’ - I’ve heard of this from many others and have repeated it myself when the moments get rough. The result is always the same: as I find more reasons to dislike my job, I feel even more discontent. In these moments, I have a tendency to forget just how lucky and privileged I am to have such a job. My focus on the pain puts into a negative downward spiral.
Start to pick out and focus on things you enjoy about your job and all the wonderful opportunities you are afforded through it. Create a list of personal benefits from your job, and then focus on each point. For example: financial security, time flexibility, creative expression, feeling of empowerment when completing a project, inspirational co-workers, learning opportunities, chances to help others, health insurance, stock options, etc.
Jealousy of Other People - When we judge other people as better off than we are, it becomes easy to get caught up in feelings of jealousy, which are self-destructive. Instead of focusing on why others are undeserving, choose to understand what makes them deserving. Highlight what they’ve done well and reasons why they have been successful. Now use these insights as a source of inspiration to help yourself excel.
Stuck at the Airport, Missing a Flight or Losing Your Luggage - Most problems with traveling are frustrating experiences, especially when leaving home already puts us outside of our comfort zone. Focusing on how frustrating it is will only make us feel worse, and only for yourself. Focus on qualities that are empowering about the experience. How can you make the experience a positive one? For example, you can perhaps focus on:
- “I have an extra few hours to catch up on reading.”
- This has become a really great opportunity to meet a new friend.
- “At least I’m still alive. I’m breathing and all. The flight delay is to ensure my safety and I am thankful for that.”
- “Yes, delaying my luggage is inconvenient, but at least they’ll deliver it for free and I don’t have to wait at the airport for them.”
‘I don’t have enough time for…” - Have you heard of yourself start a sentence like this? And then waste time on unproductive tasks like browsing the web, chatting with a friend, writing verbose emails, channel surfing on the TV. I’ve been there! You and I both know it is an excuse to avoid doing something we don’t want to do. (*wink*) If something was important enough, we can create time to make it happen. Instead of saying “I don’t have enough time for X” and then brushing it off, practice saying “How can I create time to do X?”, “How can I make this a reality? How can I free some time from my schedule?”.
Fear of Failure - The more we focus on the object of our fear, the more powerful the feeling is. Life rarely turns out as bad as we anticipate. Focusing on the worst possible outcome is extremely stressful. Whether it’s asking someone out on a date, or giving a presentation to an audience, it does not help to tell yourself that “I’m afraid I’m going to fail” or “What if I’ll look stupid? I might as well not try.” Instead, focus on what it is that you do want. Focus, by repeating what you want in a present tense statement. Example, “I am confident and knowledgeable about this topic and I can give a kick ass presentation. It’s a breeze!”

Similarly, see if you can apply the same principle to these situations:

Losing Weight
Losing Money
Getting a Date
Waiting on a phone line for an operator

I hope this simple skill of focus will add to your emotional mastery tool box and help you for many years to come. Please share your experiences with us when you have a chance.

What do you think about the focus exercise above? Any thoughts or stories on the power of focus from your own experience? We’d love to hear from you. Talk to us in the comments.

If you enjoyed this article, please vote for it on Digg, share it on StumbleUpon or bookmark it on del.icio.us. I appreciate your support. :)

Other Articles You May Like:

External Resources:

Book: Ask & It Is Given
DVD: The Secret
Steve Pavlina: The Law of Attraction
Scott H Young: Dealing with Frustration
Urban Monk: Emotional Mastery Series
Business Woman: What You Focus On Expands

96 Responses (70 Comments, 26 Trackbacks ):

Comments

Ben Lumley

Jan 14 08, 6:33 am PST

1
A really nice post Tina. Nice to remember to look for positive things in life because you will find them. Look for you dreams and you will find them!

:-)
JEMi

Jan 14 08, 6:46 am PST

2
This resonates with “The Secret” which I watched|loved|marveled about a week and a half ago

your focus on a particular energy (positive or negative) or feeling will magnify whatever it is you’re paying attention to

this is why I’ve made the conscious decision to refocus my thinking into a positive context. Small changes, such as
how great I’ll feel once this assignment is done vs how horribly long it will take me to complete the assignment makes a major difference in my happiness.

so simple, yet so powerful.

excellent article.
Andrea Hess | Empowered Soul

Jan 14 08, 7:20 am PST

3
Good reminder, Tina. The power of positive focus can be a hugely beneficial force in creating the life we want. Of course, in order to truly apply it we have to be a) mindful of what we are actually thinking about, so those negative thoughts can’t run us and b) actually be able to direct our flow of thoughts towards what we want. So often, our thoughts think us rather than us thinking our thoughts. Which is where meditation is a very, very good tool …

Blessings,
Andrea
Michelle Dawn

Jan 14 08, 7:34 am PST

4
Another fabulous post! Thanks for the inspiration :)
Nick Pagan

Jan 14 08, 8:38 am PST

5
Hi Tina,

I like this post. It’s an instant and highly practical way to reset a despondent attitude.

I have a related post about another use of this principle here:
http://www.nickpagan.com/blog/8/negative-and-positive-focus/

It details a method to overcome unwanted habits through effective use of both negative and positive focus.
Aaron

Jan 14 08, 8:41 am PST

6
And your consciousness will actually change the cells of your body. I am just beginning to study the work of Bruce Lipton, www.brucelipton.com

Thanks for a Gem of a blog.
Aaron
Damon
Jan 14 08, 9:32 am PST

7
reminds me of what one of my cheerleader friends used to say.
“Turn that frown upside down and smile, smile, smile”

Change your focus, change your feelings.
CjA
Jan 14 08, 10:10 am PST

8
Thank you for bringing together all the advice that I’ve been given in various ways over the years - from friends, therapists, books, etc. This is a simple, concise way of reminding me that dwelling on the negative just makes me more negative. FYI, psychologists call this “rumination” and have found that women tend to do it more than men. Rumination often leads to depression so it’s best to instead replace those negative thoughts with positive ones, as you have so nicely laid out here. Thank you. (I would vote for this but I don’t know how to do it — I’m new to the web and reading blogs).
Jean Browman - Cheerful Monk

Jan 14 08, 10:25 am PST

9
I just wrote two posts on this subject: Are You Enjoying the Process? and Stay Curious and Open to Life. Taking control of our awareness is one of the most powerful things we can do. Thanks!
Steve Nguyen

Jan 14 08, 11:04 am PST

10
Tina: What you’ve described is basically Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It is a well-documented and effective treatment for depression and other forms of mental illness such as anxiety and panic attacks. However, psycho jargon can confuse or even scare away clients, so your example of focusing and refocusing on colors are just as effective in altering thought processes.

******************

REPLY:

Hi Steve,

Oh cool, I didn’t know there was a name for it. I’ve always just called it, “What you focus on expands”. I’d love to learn more about psychology. Thanks for the insight. :)

Thanks!
Tina
Christian

Jan 14 08, 11:29 am PST

11
I agree on all points apart from the job, based on my current situation. I’m about to quit though, so hopefully I’ll find a job doing something I truly love!

Christian
SJ from RichGrad.com

Jan 14 08, 11:42 am PST

12
I believe this video should make the concept you are trying to explain clearer:

Change your thoughts and you change your world
Eileen

Jan 14 08, 12:04 pm PST

13
I’m in the midst of a rather discouraging job hunt at the moment and am seriously going to try this. I know I have negative thoughts when applying to jobs - I am going to instead visualize myself working happily somewhere, instead of visualizing myself as a hopeless baglady (slight exageration). Also am going to visualize good jobs, instead of cubicle drudgery. Cheers!
K Stone

Jan 14 08, 1:15 pm PST

14
Excellent! Love it! Can’t wait to try this!
I’m on a similar wavelength to you as my article tomorrow on will be on avoiding arguments by changing yourself not the other person.
Arlene Whiting

Jan 14 08, 2:49 pm PST

15
This article is very thought provoking encouraging and true. I am inspired by the examples and the exercise. In fact as confirmation I have been focusing on my vision in spite of my circumstances and came upon an opportunity today and walked through that door.

In fact this opportunity was so unique until it filled two areas of my life today. I will share…Today after singing for two hours I decided to take a break and get a pretzel. Well I changed my mind and thought I better get to a computer to see what opportunities have come my way today. Well on my way to the computer I see a flyer on one of the university building doors that the school of Culinary Arts was doing a taping of the food network show “Throwdown” and guess what the food was that they were featuring? You guessed it soft pretzels. Well I quickly made a change in plans to the school of Culinary Arts for this live taping and some great pretzels too. . Now this filled two areas, I was hungry and had not eaten breakfast and it filled my creative and artistic talent in acting.

The show will not air until either April or May of 2008. The food network show “Throwdown” usually airs on Tuesdays at 8:00p.m. or Thursdays at 7:30 p.m.

******************

REPLY:

Wow Arlene, that’s a great story. Thanks so much for sharing this little piece of joy with us. I don’t have TV, but maybe I can find it online. :)

Warmly,
Tina
Todd Schafer

Jan 14 08, 5:09 pm PST

16
Very apropos for the situation I was in….
I took the whole day off and just concentrated on my A/R (accounts receivable) in the office. As is per the usual, I quickly found myself hating on the whole paperwork/government/people stiffing me bandwagon.
Rather than despair, I read your article and proceeded to take a walk around my office. I took digital pictures of 7 red objects, and then I thought, “well, red is easy. I’ll look for yellow.” I took 17 yellow pictures. I think I was out for all of 12-15 minutes.
I can get now get through the last hour of my A/R, paying particular attention to the ones I can fix, AND get paid on.
What a wonderful blog world you have become a part of, Ms TS.!
Al at 7P

Jan 14 08, 5:33 pm PST

17
That is a great exercise and a great post. A definite keeper in a toolbox for emotional mastery :)
rampantheart

Jan 14 08, 6:08 pm PST

18
How true your words are!You amaze me!
Wyatt S.

Jan 14 08, 6:57 pm PST

19
Interesting, I always use this finding color example with my parents :) whatever you’re focused on, you will get a lot more of it, we simply filter out much of other ‘noises’ that we’re not focused on, often that could the true thing we are after.

Good post!
Raymond Chua

Jan 14 08, 7:21 pm PST

20
This is interesting and I always shift my perspective to focus on the better. But sometimes, it comes into my mind that, “will this suppress my feeling? Will it explode one day?”

What do you think?
Deb

Jan 14 08, 7:26 pm PST

21
Great post, Tina! I so agree with you about dreams coming true because we put more effort and consciousness to making it happen…
Tyler

Jan 14 08, 8:45 pm PST

22
That was a good article and I think that you are right on. Thats why when Im sick i always say “im healthy, im healthy, im healthy” in my mind of course..

*********************

REPLY:

Hi Tyler,

Not that there’s anything wrong with saying this out loud. :)
I always say, “I’m so tired” and my partner Adam would mock me (and remind me) by staying “Gosh, I feel so energetic!” with a big smile on his face. :)

Tina
peter gusztav

Jan 14 08, 8:49 pm PST

23
I never knew it was possible, I heard of training your eyes to see other peoples aura, thats cool.i posted more comments on my blog, http://thinksimplenow.com/clarity/train-your-eyes-to-see-color-again/
peter gusztav

Jan 14 08, 8:51 pm PST

24
you people can actually see other peoples auras, and by this understanding more about themselves inside, here is more info on aura comments, http://www.opentopix.com/topic/off-beat/train-your-eyes-to-see-color
Advice Network

Jan 14 08, 9:08 pm PST

25
I’d like to offer a word of thanks for the post. It is great to be reminded of the power we have in our own lives.
The World's Smartest Man

Jan 14 08, 9:20 pm PST

26
Great post. Truly inspiring! It is always nice to be reminded of the awesome power of our own minds. Thanks!
Ryan
Jan 14 08, 9:24 pm PST

27
If you have not already highly recommend reading “the power of your subconscious mind” by Joseph Murphy

Great site by the way
Dave
Jan 14 08, 9:35 pm PST

28
I am confident I can dance on my roof. Oh shoot I’m now falling off it.

That looks really scary and aggressive. Oh what nice shoes they have on. Oh look while I’m thinking positive they’re now stealing my wallet

Yay I am so healthy, even though I’m coughing up blood, that I won’t go to the hospital.

I love my minimum wage job so much that I’ll stay here while my children starve.
John
Jan 14 08, 9:56 pm PST

29
Thanks a lot. This was a really good article. Could help me a lot!
Deep Semaphore

Jan 14 08, 10:13 pm PST

30
I think the technique proposed looks intuitively all right but can be understood in a way that can potentially lead to obsessive diversions to suppress unwanted thoughts. For eg whenever someone is troubled by thoughts, say of a heated argument, they might obsessively try to force themselves to looks for colors, or think nice thoughts of some other kind…and this paradoxically unfortunately empower the negative emotions, and the suppressed thoughts about the argument, as the brain learns that they are so strong that they need to be avoided at all cost. A better way is to focus on the unwanted thoughts about the argument and examine them and investigate not to find a solution but to see what they really are. This approach has been shown to work quite well and is not exactly some form of ‘internalized’ exposure therapy. The additional component to this technique that distinguishes it from a therapy based purely on repetitive exposure is that the observer is lead to realize the possibility of knowing the ‘watcher’ and to get disengaged from any self-identifications with whatever is being suppressed. It is this dis-engagement and clarification of the watcher that lays a firm foundation for a contemplative attitude on the phenomenological world. At a philosophical level, many religious traditions, both from the east and west, adopt this approach.
SamB
Jan 14 08, 10:55 pm PST

31
ha ha.

When I was young, my brother and I decided to sort our Lego brick by colour. He had a lot, but it didn’t take long because when you were looking for Red, that all you seemed to be able to see.

I was on the right track all along. just didn’t know it.
clau
Jan 15 08, 1:51 am PST

32
Hi. This kind of thinking is quite similar to cognitive behavioural thinking which due to an anxiety disorder condition I follow as therapy in moments when I feel I am going to collapse. It is utterly effective and energy-saving indeed.
Bob
Jan 15 08, 1:53 am PST

33
This post was boring and not inspirational. I’m tired of people telling me to think positive and positive things will happen. People make things happen for themselves, and so what if you are pissed off that you missed your flight. It’s good to get pissed off it’s a human emotion that needs to be expressed. Why not try to fix the growing epidemic of social apathy instead of turning further inward to find a bit of peace of mind, while we destroy everything and everyone in our path.

Just a little sunshine to brighten you day;)
Olga

Jan 15 08, 2:07 am PST

34
Excellent article. In a broader sense, what we focus our attention on is what we become.
Sean

Jan 15 08, 5:05 am PST

35
I really like your article because it reminds me of the Secret. Generating positive thoughts have changed the way I perceive the world. You can read my experiences in my blog.

http://isharehappiness.blogspot.com/
Skid Vis

Jan 15 08, 5:26 am PST

36
Nice post.. seems simple and obvious but it amazes me that more people don’t think this way.

I used a similar approach when dating..

Instead of being nervous about them not liking me, I went in predisposed that I would not like them.. therefore I’d be relaxed, would be myself, and would be pleasantly surprised when I DID end up liking them. :)
JF
Jan 15 08, 5:35 am PST

37
Thanks for the tip; your article helped me recall two anecdotes where I applied this principle:

1. I was at an amusement park, and I was feeling more and more anxious as we waited in line for a rollercoaster. I was subconsciously on how fast the ride was, how scared some of the riders were, etc. and was getting more and more anxious myself. I said to my brother, “This ride looks scary!” He turned to me and said, “Yeah, it’s going to be so much fun!” And suddenly I thought to myself, “Hey, that’s right - this *is* going to be fun.” By focusing on how fast the ride was and how much *fun* the other riders were having, I got more and more excited about the ride instead of being anxious.

2. There was a person at work who talked really loud, and whose vocal pitch set me on edge; I was so focused on his irritating traits, I didn’t even want to be in the same room as him. Later a co-worker remarked about him, “He is so funny, he says the more outrageous things!” I began seeing that previously-annoying co-worker in a different light, and yes, he *was* funny!

*******************

REPLY:

Hi JF,

Thanks for sharing your two stories. You are right on. I too have been in similar situations, especially in the office when people talk so loudly.

Tina
Coincidence?
Jan 15 08, 6:26 am PST

38
There is nothing new or novel about this concept. It reminds me of something that was written around A.D. 70. “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Do a search on Google for the entire quote and you’ll find the author. He has many other writings that are worth considering- many that will be new if you have not been exposed to his writings in the past.

Also, use the concept described in Tina’s article while going through the writings. You’ll be surprised what you find.

******************

REPLY:

You are right, there is nothing new. Philosophers and teachers have been saying this for centuries. I’m not familiar with that phrase, but will look into it. Thanks for the reference. You learn something new everyday! :)

Best,
Tina
Ernie Wood

Jan 15 08, 7:00 am PST

39
Sounds much like a cousin to “The Secret”. This kind of thinks works to your benefit. I urge all to at least try it.
Werner

Jan 15 08, 7:41 am PST

40
Hi Tina,
like your blog, we’ve the same vision therefore I added your blog to my blogroll.
If you will give a look to my latest video for personal development so come to my Blog: http://www.personal-developmentblog.com
Greetings
keep it going like this
Werner
Simon
Jan 15 08, 7:48 am PST

41
I agree that looking for positive things is critical in living a happy life. But looking at negative things is also essential. I know how powerful and healing it is to admit emotions to yourself and work them through, finding deeper understanding.

I also know how damaging it is not to do this. Obsessively looking on the bright side can repress emotions and cause great harm. Society requires this of us too much. When was the last time you felt it was unacceptable to loose your temper at your boss, or in public?

The best thing to do in, say, a bad, non-fixable, work situation is to give your boss two fingers and walk out. Obsessively looking at the good will deny the reality and prop up a bad employer.

A balance is needed.

I suggest look at the bad, knowing that you are. Then make sure you look at the good. Weigh it up. Examine the bad to see how bad it really is. Be aware that there are different ways of looking at the same thing - try and see them. If the bad thing sticks - do something about it!

Sort the problem out in your own mind, then get on with looking at the good.

**********************

REPLY:

Hi Simon,

You are absolutely right. There is a balance and we never want to blindly deny reality. We want to face all situations that comes to us with a positive outlook and not let our (sometimes impulsive) emotions over take us. All situations are only views as good or bad because we give them those labels. They are all experiences in which we interact with through life. Even ‘bad’ experiences can be turned into something enjoyable.

Thanks for sharing your views! Very thought provoking.

Warmly,
Tina
Robert @ reason4smile

Jan 15 08, 9:09 pm PST

42
Great post Tina!

I would like to add your point on annoying people, besides looking at things you admire, you can also learn from them, observe their annoying behaviors, wonder why they do it and what kind of outcomes it brings for them, find something not to do, and learn from their mistake.

In that case, you will understand them better, and learn for your own benefit. This also what I learned from T. Harv Eker’s book, Secret of Millionaire Mind.

My full post here Lessons of difficult people

Thanks for sharing with us such a great technique, it’s truly that what we focus expands!

Cheers,
Robert
Amai
Jan 15 08, 9:33 pm PST

43
I agree with Simon…. sometimes it is challenging to look into the reality (what I call “our dark side”), but worth it at the end if you work on it!

; ) Amai
Harry Chittenden

Jan 16 08, 10:19 am PST

44
Great job Tina. A sort of variation of “you get what you pay for.”

Instead, you get what you focus on.

Don’t forget the other sensory modalities. For example, if you are starting an exercise program, you’ll get a more accurate input if you “feel” what that’s going to be like than if you visualize it.

Keep up the good work.

*******************

REPLY:

Nice! I’m gonna have to quote you Harry, “A variation of you get what you pay for: you get what you focus on.” + ” So focus on something you actually want.”

Thanks!
Tina
Lovelyn

Jan 16 08, 11:06 am PST

45
I love this post Tina.
I agree with what Simon said. It’s important to examine but the positive and negative aspects of something. That’s how we acheive balance. It’s also how we change the things we need to in our lives.
Dr. Kirk Laman/ Heart Guru

Jan 16 08, 11:16 am PST

46
Great post! I agree that what we focus on expands. One thought is to get more in touch with our own hearts. In this way its a moving away from the outer experience and a return to an inner beauty and depth

Our heart’s have a wisdom that defies logic. By relying more on our heart we can avoid the need to over manage our outer environment- not that we shouldn’t actively try to change our lives, but if we can learn not to be so preoccupied with outcomes it can give us more peace.

Check out this post on my blog if you like.

http://blog.drkirklaman.com/2007/12/11/time-to-find-peace-of-heart/
Scott

Jan 16 08, 12:07 pm PST

47
Color is in they eyes of the beholder. Colors are just triggers in your brain going off so concentrate and watch the world come alive. This can be a trained process
Terri Holley, The Health and Life Mixing Bowl

Jan 16 08, 9:11 pm PST

48
Neat, Tina. Colors…interesting. In college I took a class in Perception and learned a neat exercise, kind of the opposite of this in the sense that you can reverse what you see ( see less of something) to see something different. Take a look at the moon on the horizon when it is really big. It really isn’t that big–our brain thinks it is because our brain registers the sky to be shaped like an upside down bowl so we think it is closer, which means to our brains that it is bigger. Then take a look at the same moon through a paper towel roll. It will look small like it does high up in the sky because we no longer have the bowl shaped sky to refer to. Somebody told me not to do this too much or else the moon will never look big again on the horizon. Do this at your own risk.
Trevor
Jan 17 08, 12:27 am PST

49
This also reminds me a game I often play with my family and friends on long car rides or while waiting for food at a restaurant called ‘I Spy.’ Basically, two people take turns guessing what object of a given color the other has in mind. “I spy something .” In fact the phenomenon you describe is precisely what makes the game interesting/tough; you end up noticing a ton of objects of the given color and it usually takes quite a few guesses (sometimes even when you know your opponent very well, and especially when they know you know them and avoid familiar objects purposely!)

Anyways, thanks for a great article and thanks to the other commenters for your insight, cheers!
The Count
Jan 17 08, 6:28 am PST

50
I agree with the post, and have used the technique with myself and my family. Society is so negative, as one can see in the media. Women are supposed to hate their bodies, grey hair is ugly, wrinkles are foul, cellulite is disgusting, etc. If a person likes herself, she is considered vain and those with less elf-esteem find and point out any and all flaws (”What is there to like about HER? She’s fat, she has a big nose, she’s obnoxious. I’m soooo much skinnier than she is. Ewww, I wouldn’t want to be like her!”). Although dealing with negative issues does need to be done in some cases, focusing on so much negativity is detrimental.
In a negative situation, such as driving behind a really slow person when you are in a hurry, you can focus on the negativity and get angry (road rage), or you can tell yourself, “Hmmm, this is frustrating, how can I diffuse my frustration?” In such situations my family would always play a game, “George and Martha”. We’d pretend George was the driver of the slow car, and Martha his “backseat driver”. We would then carry on the supposed conversation taking place in the car ahead of us, and I can tell you, with three teenagers in tow, it can get very funny (”George, you idiot, you want this road right here!” –car brakes, slows down to read the street sign, speeds up–”Martha you old toad, are you blind?!” etc., you get the drift). So you focus instead on the humor of the situation instead of the frustration.
I have to disagree with the posters who suggest focusing on the negative. Having lived through hell, I became a very bitter person. After attending a lecture by a psychology professor, I discovered that the person we are is the person we choose to be. I started finding things to like about myself, and discovered there was actually much to like about me, as well as some things to change. That awareness made me determine what kind of person I wanted to be (and angry and bitter was not what I wanted to be). Today, I am the person I am (and the person I want to be) because of the hell I went through, and would not change that because it has led me to become more compassionate, patient, and empathic, which are my strongest personality traits. Those strengths led to my choosing my profession. I no longer carry around baggage, which is what you do when you focus on the negative. Once you drop the baggage, you can move forward and change. If you don’t like a situation (your job, for example) it doesn’t mean you have to stay there. You have control over your own life, and you can look for something you like to do better (and you’ll wonder why you stayed at that job you hated in the first place). But in the meantime, you can change your focus to a more positive one, which will actually make changing jobs much easier.
My focus today is to look for a “special” gift every day. It may be a beautiful sunrise, a flower blooming where one had not been, a snow-devil, a rainbow, church bells, my favorite old song on the radio, pretty much anything which brings a smile to my face. I then say, “Thank you,” to acknowledge my awareness of the gift. I can tell you, if you expect and look for one every day, you will find one. I’d much rather live in the moment and enjoy a treasure, than focus on the negative and destructive.
Christina

Jan 18 08, 5:41 pm PST

51
Tina -

Thanks for such a lovely post. I am opening my eyes again, discovering the world with a childlike sense of wonder and my life is beautiful.

I nominated you for a Thinking Blogger award.

Many blessings -
Christina
Emma
Jan 21 08, 7:07 am PST

52
Great post. I’ve only read a few of your posts after clicking a link in Digg.

I’ve found this to be true myself in the past. When I became pregnant the world seemed to be full of pregnant women! They’ve all disapeared now - but the number of women with children has increased. I love the fact this can be used for us. I will try the colour trick next time I get bored and frustrated - and teach it to my son.

Thanks
Maria Dalva
Jan 23 08, 4:52 am PST

53
Wow! Such a great text! Thanks for sharing! It’s soooo true!
Just found your blog, it’s really amazing! Congratulations! :o)
~ A brazilian reader ;o)
Liara Covert

Jan 25 08, 7:25 pm PST

54
Its nice that you offer an exercise for your readers to participate more actively. Perhaps we’re always expanding our perspective, learning to see new colors, and realizing we’re always getting what we ultimately want? These true desires are hidden in our subconscious and may differ from what our ego and conscious mind come to believe.
Welcome to Paradise

Jan 30 08, 5:52 am PST

55
This is an excellent article. Nice to remember to look for positive things in life because you will find them. Look for you dreams and you will find them.

Truly inspiring!
Daniel Edlen

Feb 01 08, 12:45 pm PST

56
Sounds like somebody’s read Covey’s 7 Habits! Great post from a great source.

Peace.
Izabael

Feb 03 08, 8:53 pm PST

57
I think it was Yoda who said this first. “Your focus determines your reality.” Or was it Mr. Miyagi, or maybe Kierkegaard? ;-)

At anyrate, thank you for the excellent exercise.
Bud

Feb 07 08, 7:21 pm PST

58
“The mind can make a heaven out of hell and a heaven out of hell’
I am looking forward to do what you suggested.
Bud
Feb 07 08, 7:59 pm PST

59
second day at your site, have to say it has my attention. for 30+ years i have been just about tracing your steps. looking for that one self help book to do it.

I have learn a lot along the way but still searching and trying different things. One book I really liked was “how to start living and stop worrying”. when i look back most book have about the same message, that are worth anything. i don’t read the bible really but had moments reading it and most of what i read in the self help books was in the bible,just not written in an interesting way.
jd

Feb 08 08, 12:56 am PST

60
Tina - This reminds me of two of my favorite sayings:
1. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, you aren’t going to see it.
2 You see whatever you point your camera at (you direct your life)
Holly

Feb 10 08, 4:11 pm PST

61
Thanks for submitting this post to the Feminism at its Finest blog carnival. Your post has been featured and is now up, so check it out! Also, if you can, please consider promoting the Feminist at its Finest carnival, we would definitely appreciate your efforts.

Thanks again!
Sangesh

Feb 27 08, 7:35 am PST

62
Brilliant, just brilliant. I love colors and playing with colors too, and I loved each and every moment of going through this article.

Thank you for this.
Evelyn

Mar 19 08, 3:40 am PDT

63
I cannot agree more that what I focus on, expands. It’s amazing just how one tiny insight can help transform my thoughts. I now make it a conscious effort to choose better and more positive thoughts.

Thanks for sharing your tips! Very beautifully articulated!

Evelyn
Linda

Apr 10 08, 10:16 am PDT

64
Hey!

Gotta say, this sounds very much like the realization I had when I was serving as a volunteer in the Native American Bahá’í Institute in the Navajo Reservation. I call it “confirmations” and it’s all about noticing the opportunities we get every day. Ever challenge and every good thing that happens to us is an opportunity to cultivate your personality and soul, to become happier and to make others happier.

Like when you learn a new word, let’s say “defenestrate”, you start seeing that word everywhere, it just pops out (just like your colors, i like your example).

I also like the effect this can have to the world. Bahá’u'lláh, the founder of the Bahá’í Faith said:
“When a thought of war comes, oppose it with a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hatred must be destroyed by a stronger thought of love.”

This sounds like utopia, unless you put it in the context of what you were talking about… it has had a TREMENDOUS effect in my life, so this thinking can also have an effect in the world.

Dishwasher Experience.
Me and my cousin moved together when we started studying in uni together. We wanted to make our home a place where everyone feels welcome. It became such, and this resulted to HUGE PILES OF DISHES. Well, once we got a call, that someone wanted to give us a dishwasher for free cos they were moving to a new place. If this had happened last year, I’d just been like “yeah cool, so now I don’t have to spend so much time washing dishes” but with this new understanding i thought “wow, this is great, now we can invite more friends and be even more welcoming!”
Nathalie Lussier

Sep 04 08, 11:18 am PDT

65
Isn’t this the truth? A lot of the audio books I listened to help people do just this: focus on what you want. If you feel like you’re running around getting exhausted and have no time… rephrase it: I have an excess of time, and I enjoy every bit of it!
Nicholas Powiull

Nov 02 08, 8:32 am PST

66
To me, this article is saying “give that which you wish to receive, in order to get that which you gave”. I explain it like this:

Consciousness always loops back onto itself in a never-ending circle of what is being perceived. You keep perceiving what you are getting but you only get what you consciousness perceive. Therefore the only way to perceive something else, is to give (give to others) what you wish to perceive, since what you give is what you will receive and what you receive is what your consciousness will perceive.

For example, give unconditional love and your consciousness will perceive that there is unconditional love to give and in that act the consciousness will perceive that it received unconditional love (it received it because it was there to give). Once this happens then your consciousness can loop back onto itself unconditional love in all that it perceives.

Your consciousness is infinite vast and it is receiving infinite vastness but the only way to be made aware and perceive what you are receiving in your experience, is to consciously give your consciousness that which you wish to receive. Give what you desire to other, and your consciousness will see that you have it in order to give, you will attract what you give.

Thank you Tina for this fantastic display of content indeed! :)
Becca

Nov 11 08, 8:26 am PST

67
I found your blog today through the post “100 blogs that will inspire you to be a better person,” and this blog is the one I like best on that list. Thanks for writing, I know I’ll continue to come across things on this blog that will help me in my life.
rampantheart

Jan 03 09, 4:29 am PST

68
Before I even start responding something related to the topic, I would like to put forward the fact that I visit your blog whenever I feel blue. And your effective words are just as soothing to my ever-rampant nerves. I have never been a profuse flatterer but I just love your blog. The inexplicable aura of your blog makes it irresistible!

As regards the article, I personally think it’s a very good concept. But then, it’s very difficult to think about people’s positive aspects when they are mean to us. I mean, the habit can be cultivated over a course of time but it’s something very hard to accomplish. Super optimistic by nature, I find it very hard to do only that. But nay, I don’t hold grudges against people nor strive to retaliate. I just ignore them. I may be angry for a while, a few moments later anger gives way to indifference. I know this is just a protective armor to hide my vulnerability inside, but then I don’t seem to find a way out to the problem!
Ariel - You Are Truly Loved

Jan 21 09, 12:03 am PST

69
Ah cool Tina, what a powerful and practical exercise to realizing how well our minds are able to focus on whatever it is we choose and thus lead to the expansion of what we focus on! This is a great teaching lesson. I’m totally gonna share this with other people. :)
J Mallory

Feb 15 09, 6:28 pm PST

70
Great points! Thanks for writing it!

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Train Your Eyes to See Color, Again

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Try It For Yourself! A Simple Exercise

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