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Unconditional Love – A Story of Being Adopted

It’s safe to say that one of the greatest feelings in the world comes from the warmth of being unconditionally loved. Whether that mean the love of your spouse or partner, or the connection you share with your mom or dad. Or even the loving bond between your siblings and friends.

I’m extremely grateful for all the love that I’ve had in my young life. But the truth is, there are many parts of the world where unconditional love is lacking. With wars taking place each and every day, messy political battles, starvation, and greed; the world needs you more than ever.

Because even in the darkest of alleys, remains the fact that we as humans are meant to love.

I wrote this essay nearly 4 years ago during my sophomore year of high school, and to me, it captures the essence what unconditional love really is. Certainly, my birthparents weren’t the only ones to show me this mysterious force, but the story carries an invaluable lesson that you can probably relate with.

Unconditional love is the solution to all of the worlds’ ills.

While the details of this story may differ from yours, I ask you to go forth and share the light within you.

This is a tribute to my birth parents – because of their unconditional love I am able to share my passions with the world – I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The night before, I couldn’t sleep. I lay awake tossing and turning. What was I to expect? What was I to call them? Mom? Dad? I will never forget the day I hugged my birth parents for the first time in a mid-sized chain restaurant. I was 12 years old.

But why?” I often recall asking my mom, when the subject of being adopted came up. “Because they loved you honey,” she would patiently reply.

Ever since I can remember, my parents have been nothing but honest with me concerning adoption. For this reason, I have become comfortable openly talking about adoption.

I’ve always found it funny, how when a person I know discovers I am indeed adopted, they are always afraid to ask questions. Now, I know they are just trying to be respectful, but I have nothing to hide.

My parents’ honesty and candor regarding adoption has caused me to admire the both of them, greatly. I realize that not all children are as lucky as myself. I have heard stories of adoptee parents who have hid the fact from there children that they were adopted.

This saddens me deeply. Being adopted is nothing to be ashamed about. I am truly grateful for how my life has turned out thus far.

Being adopted Unconditional Love
Ryan (at 9 months) who taught the editor (Tina Su) the meaning of unconditional love.

My birth mom at the time of her pregnancy was not married to my birth father, their relationship anything but stable. Receiving news that she was to have a boy, she began to think.

She couldn’t stand the thought of me not having a father; a father to play catch with me outside in the backyard; a father to take me camping on the weekends; a father to give me the always dreaded “birds and the bees” talk.

For this reason my birth parents agreed, for my own well-being that I was to be put up for adoption. For my birth parents to put up their only son for adoption, shows how much they loved me. To do what they did must have been one of the hardest things they had ever done; but when it came down to the future of their baby boy, they knew what they had to do. To this day I thank them.

My parents always wanted to have kids, and like many other families, adoption didn’t even register in their minds. They tried to have kids the “normal” way. Nothing. They tried again and again and again. Still nothing.

Finally after a visit to the doctors they discovered that having biological kids were not part of God’s plan. For a couple whose only dream was to raise their own children, this discovery became -as my parents recall- “one of the lowest points of their life.

Biological kids may not have been in God’s plan, but the man up stairs had something else up his sleeve.

My parents – still distraught over their inability to have their own children – had nowhere else to go, they turned to prayer. It wasn’t long before their prayers were answered, in a form a of a phone call. A friend of my mom, who ran a daycare center, knew of a lady who’s sister was putting her baby son up for adoption.

My parents jumped on the bandwagon. With in a few weeks I was in their hands. Who said not being able to have biological kids was a bad thing?

It was finally the day! The day I was to finally meet the two people who brought me into this world. I picked out my favorite pair of jeans, a nice t-shirt, and a sweatshirt – in which an outline of snowboarder gracefully covered the front.

My dad, mom, little brother, cousin, and I were to meet my birth parents for lunch. I had been waiting for this moment all my life. Who was I going to look more alike? My mom? My dad? My mind was bombarded with questions on the drive (which seemed like forever) over to the restaurant. We got to the restaurant and parked.

With every passing moment, my heart began beating faster and faster, for reasons I can’t explain. At the last moment I became scared, so scared I almost couldn’t move. We opened the door to the restaurant and walked in. Off to the side, there was a couple with a table reserved. The couple – my birthparents.

The next few minutes are hard to recall, as it all happened so fast. All I remember is hugging both my birth mom and birth dad and feeling a sense of joy fill my body. I was the luckiest kid in the world. I had four parents who would give the world for me. I had seen pictures of my birth parents as a child but nothing beat a real life photograph of them.

We continued on to have lunch, which was filled with lots of questions – none concerning adoption, of course. What was my favorite color? (blue) and so forth. I can honestly say that was one of the best meals I ever had.

Every day, I thank God for how things have turned out in my life. It is amazing how our lives are a mere result of cause and effect. If one small piece of my past were altered, it would change the world today. I respect my birth parents for giving me up, for doing what they thought was right, at the time. This is a pure act of love.

To say they were successful in providing me with a good life would be an understatement. They provided me with the best life a kid could ask for.

I also thank God for not allowing my mom and dad to have biological children, for if that were to have happened, I would have not been adopted by some the most loving parents in the world. I wouldn’t be who I am today, without their guidance and knowledge. This is all part of God’s plan and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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About the author

Bud Hennekes is an 19 year old college student who believes in living your passions and shares his insights at his blog A Boundless World. His hobbies vary depending on the day but more often than not he enjoys: reading, writing, conversation, meditating, and changing the world. Feel free to subscribe to his blog here.

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15 thoughts on Unconditional Love – A Story of Being Adopted

  1. Yan

    What a beautiful story to share, Bud! One that teaches the value of “unconditional love” and “gratitude”.

    I was adopted too but it took me a while (many years later to be exact) to appreciate what you describe as “all part of God’s plan”….

    And to be able to appreciate it and be grateful at this young age is something I’ve failed to do when I was young.

    Thanks for the thoughtful and inspiring story. You certainly deserve the very best of everything life has to offer you.

    Warmest regards
    Yan

  2. Hi Bud,

    That was a moving story you have shared and I thank you for it.

    It’s good to be reminded of unconditional love in this world. With all that goes on in the world today, I feel we need this kind of uplifting reminders to remind us of the bigger picture in life. We need to remember that love will help us to overcome the greatest of obstacles because we have a reason to do so. Without love, life would be without meaning.

    Thanks for sharing!

  3. Beautiful story . You truly have a wonderful soul. Very heart warming the amount of unconditional love this story exudes. Your parents must truly be wonderful to express unconditional love so fully and wholly. To give, to a child, to a parent, to a patient is incredible. I’ve learnt this as I care for someone who is ill and it is an honouring, humbling experience – to be touched by unconditional love, both by giving and receiving.
    Thank you for this wonderful post and for the goodness .God bless

  4. Bud,

    As a birth mother, reading your words comforts me a great deal. I hope one day my daughter feels the same way you do. Thank you for posting this. It brought tears to my eyes.

  5. My daughter planned adoption for my granddaughter when she was 20. She taught us how to love on a deeper level because of it. We have all grown in love, joy and yes pain.

  6. Unconditional love has to start from the inside out … but it’s great when you additionally have people in your life that live that value.

    It sounds like you have an unshakable foundation and that’s a great way to springboard through life.

  7. Thank you for sharing your story. It is wonderful that you are able to see how things have turned out well for all of you. It must feel amazing to have four parents!! All the best to you!

  8. Juul

    Bud,

    A really, really beautiful story.
    I’d wish my birthmother would react like your birthparents did. I’ve never seen or heared from her.
    I’m not sure it’s the way or a plan from God. I think it all came from your parents and birthparents and being the persons they are.
    All the best for you all.

    Regards, Juul

  9. Kelly

    Your story is very touching. Thanks for sharing it.

  10. victor

    Many thanks for your sharing. I was touched . I have the almost same story . I got many many unconditional love from my stepfather.

  11. Thanks for sharing, I was adopted as well, and i am so very very lucky to have the wonderful parents that i have. I could not even imagine better parents than the ones i got.

  12. Don

    Thanks for posting this. I am an adoptive parent with a baby girl less than 2 years old. I want to be completely open and honest from the start and we are working on her “life story” now, to start telling her regularly so she understands adoption is part of her life from the very start. Trying to get inspiration for how to do this right is what brought me to your page. I hope we can do as good job as your parents did!

  13. Soria

    wow.. I am 16 years old right now and just feel so unloved by my adoptive mother.. she blames me for all the bad things I do like I will become the same as my biological parents. Your biological parents reason for putting you up for adoption is much much MUCH more dignified than mine. I just want the adults to know that If you adopt a child never use there adoption against them because it will hurt them very deeply. Just knowing that they are adopted become of something not really dignified is a very deep scar that will never heal.. and if you say anything that can deepen that scar it can cause the child you adopted to have hatred, or think lowly of themselves. you adopted them because you LOVE them, do not use it against them please. I want to be the last child who feels this pain. It is just not fair to be adopted because we did not choose this course we was born into it. Just make sure you do not let them Completely free you need to train them well so that they do not follow into the footsteps of their parents. Do not tell them that they WILL become like their parent because that can get set up into their minds and there is a great great chance that they will follow that course because that’s what you Prophesied. I love my adoptive parents soo dearly but my mother just cuts me up into so many pieces. My adaptive father never says anything hurtful about me being adopted so i am very much closer to him than to my mother. I plan to look for my biological parent so that I can just see who I look like or even if they just send me a picture I am totally fine.

  14. Anya

    Thank you for sharing this story, it’s lovely to read. I’m adopted and it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I can definitely relate to people finding it difficult to ask you anything when they find out, but I know it’s because they don’t want to hurt you (or at least, they think asking anything will hurt you!). I find it funny when some people instantly think ‘oh poor thing’ or ‘you had a rough ride’ as I don’t think of it like that, I think I’m very lucky. I couldn’t thank my mum enough for everything she’s taught me, and I can’t wait to one day be able to adopt a child and pass it all forward.

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