Photo: Paul Armstrong
Have you ever said “yes” to something, only then to feel a tightness in the pit of your stomach, wishing you had said “No”? I have, and I’ve always disliked the feeling it left me. Because I wasn’t being truthful to myself. It’s like this: if I said no, I would feel guilty for having said no. If I said yes, going against what I really wanted, I would feel bad about the situation. Why do we stage ourselves for such lose-lose scenarios? Saying “yes” to things when it’s not what you really want can create a negative flow in your inner being. It can exhaust you mentally, waste your time and distract you from your purpose. Here are some tips that can help to bring some clarity and lighten up your mental ‘load’ when you want to say no:
- Recognize that you have a limited amount of time in a day. If you say yes to everything that comes your way, then it’ll be difficult to focus on your own priorities. You won’t have any time for yourself. Time is your most valuable resource.
- Understand your priorities. Don’t over complicate your life. Especially when you don’t need to. Don’t take on more than you can handle. Always make sure that you have enough time to yourself.
- Listen to your gut – Pay attention to what your inner voice is saying. If you don’t feel like it, don’t do it. Trust yourself. Be truthful to yourself.
- Ask yourself “Why?”when making the decision:
- “Am I doing this out of Guilt or Fear?” Guilt and fear are mind created emotions. They are formed by your perception of a situation, where you are looking through tainted glasses, unable to see clearly of what’s really there. Fear makes people irrational. ** Note: We will cover guilt and how to deal with them in a later article.
- “Am I doing this out of social pressure?”
- “Who am I doing this for?” – This is a great question to ask, and not an easy one to answer when our mind is clouded. Be truthful with yourself. If you are doing this for another person, you will find that your personal pride, sense of self worth, self respect, self-esteem will depend on the acceptance of another person.
Do share any tips you have that you’ve found helpful in staying true to yourself, and being honest with what you want with others.
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