Now I’m happy to say that the memories aren’t bothering me nearly as much as they were. Thank you so much for all your help and I hope to continue along with this positive growth and learn from your experience as well.

Have been reading up encouragement books on Strength of Women and a book by Douglas Pagels. I am seeking you as my inspiring model in mid of my emotional crisis. Hoping I can pull through it and be a strong and happy person.

You asked about book recommendations, at the moment, I recommend “You can heal your life” by louise hay. I link to my favorite edition of the book along the right sidebar.

I apologize for writing to you again. I just thought that I should be more specific myself, by telling you a little bit about my background. I am 21 years old, at a good college in my country. Problems are that although a passionate learner when at high school, I seem to have lost my passion for learning and have failed courses, retaken ones even. I do not have a girlfriend and have barely made any attempts. It’s a quite common story for nowadays, I’m afraid. I do not think there is something wrong on me on a physical or other level. I do think however, that being a “nerd” in high school( and before that) and depriving myself from active socializing, has resulted in my nowadays situation. Family has “contributed” for this too, I guess. Observe the vicious cycle: a nerd, realized a change is needed, but finding it too hard as I’ve led a ‘nerdish” life for quite a while, I can’t go back to my “study mode” (maybe because I know I’ve dedicated a lot to it in the past and want to compensate) and I can’t become a “party” person as well. I’m feeling like I’m stuck in the middle of going nowhere. Negative ideas formed in my past have sometimes led me think that it would be better for me to die or struggle severly, only to make up for all the things I’ve missed on. No other way is an option. Struggling… I already am… with all that’s in my head and is working against me. They are quite universal, such as(see here everybody, I’m sure you’ll identify some things for yourself too):

!) I am limiting myself from doing things, because due to a period of being stuck (call it apathy, depression, etc.), I am no longer on the same level of ability as others. I will only make a fool of myself and walk away ashamed of a performance that a much younger person could haver easily outdone, or at least handled things in a better way. This applies to almost ALL types of social interactions. This is what is preventing me from going to parties (i feel uncomfortable, subjects are brought that i know nothing about), having a girlfriend(even if we do get close, she’ll see that there is something wrong with me (classes failed, no girls before her, low self – esteem, fails in this and that) and leave me;Illogical, but it is what it is)., doing sports, hanging out with friends.

I am stuck and depressed and I bet that although not intentionally, right now I might as well be speaking from behalf of 1/3 of people of my age around the world. Well, enough of me whining :), sorry if I became too emotional. I just want someone to picture things, assess my bad state of being and give me a piece of useful advice. Thanks again.

First of all, allow me to congratulate you on your “right on the point” article. I know that the ideas expressed are not new and have been discussed. From what I see, the whole “Law of Attraction” team, Eckhart Tole, etc., are on the same track. Many before them like Napoleon Hill and Andrew Carnegie have already been there. However, the people who have actually succeeded doing what you’re describing are few. Recently, I’ve also become interested due to a growing need to change. I KNOW and can identify MANY negative non – realistic believes about myself that are destroying my future. Question: What happens when we cannot track back the very first (or perhaps those after as well, d!?) reason for creating a negative belief, because it was traumatic enough for us to burry it deep down, to suppress it? Do we really need to go back to identify that specific moment or is it unneccessary? What are the techniques for doing that, if it is? Also, can you reccomend a program or book that is SPECIFICALLY about ELIMINATING OLD, HARMFUL BELIEVES AND SUBSTITUTING THEM FOR BENEFICIAL ONES, WHILE LIMITING OR ELIMINATING FURTHER CREATION OF NEGATIVE IDEAS ABOUT OURSELVES? I think that there is nothing more for me to ask from life at this stage. I’d like to thank you in advance, wishing you a successful journey through like, whereever it may take you.

Wow! Amazing post.

Your story is surely helping tons of people and it is inspiring. Thanks for putting it up.

Here are a couple recommendations for overcoming wrong beliefs as well:

1) Once you are conscious of a controlling belief, QUESTION IT RATIONALLY. Use questions like, “Do I know for certain? Am I 100% this is true? Is there another explanation? What evidence do I have?

2) Once you question your belief, speak out loud the new belief with emotion.

3) Whenever the belief pops back into your head, question is over and over until you overcome it.

Old beliefs have been there for a long time (like you said) from childhood experiences etc. It takes a little time and effort but these beliefs can be overcome through using your techniques and maybe adding in a couple of these.

Again, wonderful post. Take care.