Comments on: 9 Ways to Overcome Jealousy

By: Cori

Cori — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:42:11 +0000

Very useful suggestions for dealing with the feelings!

The article could go from very good to great if you distinguished between envy and jealousy, which are similar but different.

By: fatima mario

fatima mario — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 03:13:04 +0000

hi I’m Mario,

I’m at a stage where there’s jealousy in my life and i don’t know what to do with it. I have talked it over with my girlfriend but it seems to haunt me down every time i see a comment on face book , or when she finishes work late, or when she gets anonymous calls while we are together. She tells me to trust her but half the time she ignores me, or she uses excuses to change the subject.

I try very hard not to think about it but it just slips into my mind. I love her very much But i don’t know whats happening. I’m afraid to ask her because she thinks that i Don’t TRUST her. We have a kid and i love them both very dearly so What shall I do?, this situation is very fragile and its to risky to lose.

By: Joy

Joy — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:57:56 +0000

I have struggled with jealousy for years though and I feel like I’m drowning myself when it happens because I refuse to tell my partner. I never knew how to deal with it. This article has already helped me so much. I tried what your first point was. To just sit and focus on what I was actually feeling. Reading that was the first time that I realized that what I felt was emotional AND physical. My throat does tighten, my chest aches. It just gave me an insane amount of comfort reading that. Thank you so much.

By: Michele

Michele — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:52:56 +0000

This is a great article. I am going through a bunch of jealousy right now with my relatively new boyfriend. With Facebook being a major culprit, jealousy is very real and painful. Even though no one is doing anything wrong, the thoughts are there. I think these exercises you suggest here will be a good start. Kind of like “the only way through it, is to go THROUGH it” and feeling those feelings and being aware of them could just be the key. Thanks!

By: Missy D

Missy D — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 12:37:28 +0000

This is just amazing. I’ve always been jealous of those who are better looking and more charismatic & find it easy to flourish in social situations. Also there was one particular case recently where a woman had become (still is) really well known and loved for a quite rare thing that I know I can do well too, but had no way (I thought at the time) to actually go and do it myself. I wanted so bad to have what she had, even almost wishing she could be forgotten, almost like she’d taken “my thing” but that is totally irrational, unreasonable and she seems like a genuinely nice lady what’s more.
It had me acting like a right total idiot whenever she was around or being talked about & her exploits fondly remembered. I wasn’t focusing on anything nice at all, within myself or others. It was just yucky.

When I sit down and think about it, using some of the stuff in this article, in reality I *can* do what I’ve been wanting to do so badly and do have the opportunity, and will probably have a touch of admiration for being able to do this rare thing that well. I am my own person and should just enjoy my part, her having done it too does not threaten my own ability. We are not actually in direct competition for one role or prize.

Basically I love your wisdom on where jealousy comes from and ways to help overcome it as it really is not fun or helpful!!

By: gypsy

gypsy — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 18:37:30 +0000

Like so many of the other posters, I am struggling immensely with my jealousy. I am insanely jealous of the girl my boyfriend works with and shares an office with. They are together every day, and while I’m at work, I make myself sick imagining what they are talking about or how close their relationship is getting. His work environment is extremely small and everyone makes inappropriate jokes all the time. They even all went on a trip to Mexico (3 guys, 3 girls – no significant others). He has given me no reason to distrust him and the girl is always nice when I’m around her. But I can’t shake this doubt in my head. I try not to compare myself to her, we are actually very similar – same hair, same style, same type of job – she’s just a much better-looking version of me. It makes me physically ill to where I can’t eat and even throw up. We have discussed it many times and he assures me that nothing is going on, I can’t keep bringing it up. And I know continuing on this way is only going to damage any reason he fell in love with me in the first place. The article is very good, but since he’s around her EVERY day it’s tough to maintain my negative emotions. And he’ll casually bring up how the office is going out for drinks and I immediately get sick and can’t even look him in the eye. No matter what I try, I can’t get out of this rut. What do I do with this??

By: dlysen

dlysen — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 07:27:56 +0000

I give trust and more love its the only way to kill the pain when I don’t understand the reason well.

By: Joe

Joe — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 22:45:24 +0000

“Feel the jealousy” probably the most important thing on here. And not just feel it, undestand it and use your intelligence to move forward and rationalize from it. Man, I am one jealous guy, mostly in my relationship. I looked up this article after my partner was being pursued by an outsider, I took it all out on my partner and was way destructive with my words, not to mention my jealousy triggers an anxiety which makes my actions even more impulsive. After reading this I could see more clearly, it’s really about “what’s the worst that could happen?” end up alone? Not as bad as it sounds, and not what would most likely happen, but it’s that idea that is triggering the jealousy and destructiveness that needs control.

By: Mithun

Mithun — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 16:14:13 +0000

when i was reading this i felt i came accross the same problems….and thank you for letting me realize myself….from now onwards i will try my best to be a good guy! thanks allot!

By: Drag

Drag — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:59:17 +0000

Youre article is great, however, I have suffered through many years of jealousy . Like one of your posts wrote, it’s solely in regards to other women’s appearances. When I am out with my husband and we are in the presence of a very attractive woman, I get physically sick where I almost want to throw up. What do you do with this? My husband isn’t doing anything out of line, the women are usually not either…. But when I compare myself to them, I always feel bad about myself and then I become angry because I wasted more unproductive time in my life. Please help me… As many years of therapy didn’t help, landmark didn’t help and Im scared that as my daughter gets older, she may notice my mood shifts and that would be devastating