Embracing the Unexpected

What do you do when things do not go your way? While being upset seems like the most natural reaction, sometimes, you just have to let it go, accept it for what it is, do the best you can and find the gift within.

A week ago today, Jeremy and I were traveling back from a trip to Mexico – a little tropical getaway as a couple before baby Ryan is born.

During the first flight back, I experienced sharp lower abdominal cramps. After 16 hours of traveling, 4 hours of bad sleep upon returning home, and stubbornly resisting Jeremy’s persistence to go to the hospital, that is exactly where I ended up.

Turns out, I had been in preterm labor for the past 17 hours. Being a first time mother, I didn’t know what a contraction actually felt like. What I thought was simply cramps from gas and baby movement turned out to be contractions.

When the doctor checked me at 5am that eventful Monday morning, I was dilated to 2cm, contracting every 4 minutes and my cervix had thinned to 50%. My body was getting ready to deliver a baby. At the time, I was 28 weeks pregnant.

Having only found out about my pregnancy 8 weeks earlier, the thought of possibly delivering a premature baby that day was surprising and terrifying. Thus began a frightful and confusing journey over the next 48 hours.

The following is a tale of what happened in my corner of the world during those few days, and what I’ve learned.

November 23, 2009 at 6am

Suddenly, I went from having a very uneventful pregnancy (not even morning sickness) to what they medically label a high risk pregnancy.

Immediately, I was brought into a birthing suite, hooked up to a catheter and – after 5 needle pokes by 3 nurses – hooked onto an IV with Magnesium Sulfate – a muscle relaxing drug that slows down contractions, but has very pronounced side-effects, including blurred and double vision, nausea, feeling very hot and thirsty, and a weakening of all muscles. So basically, I could only see with one eye, else I’d see two of everything, and I couldn’t walk or chew properly.

About a dozen different people came in-and-out of the room, introduced themselves and asked an array of similar questions. With a spinning headache, one eye open – barely able to focus on their faces – and sweating like a monkey, I did my best to remain polite and pretended the question was asked for the first time. It was all very confusing.

For the next 48 hours, Jeremy sat next to me and watched nervously as people came in and out of the room every 2 hours for various procedures. I experienced it all in blurry and drowsy discomfort.

The worst thing about the drug was being placed on a fluid restriction while feeling extra dehydrated and dry in the mouth. I was only allowed 40ml of water per hour – they did this to avoid the serious side of effect of fluid buildup in the lungs. I would keep my eyes on the clock, making sure I didn’t miss getting water refills from the nurse. I would take small sips of water when my mouth felt extra dry, salvage as much water as possible, and in the last few minutes of the hour gulp the remaining water like a dying man lost in the desert.

The other uncomfortable thing was the catheter – a device that drains urine directly from the bladder. My body felt like it always wanted to pee, except, I couldn’t. After being on the thing for a few hours, I would have killed for the sensation of peeing the natural way, and was envious of Jeremy whenever he went in the bathroom to do “number one”.

Near the end, they reduced my dose of magnesium and I was allowed slightly more liquid in the form of a red popsicle. Oh man, the popsicle felt like heaven on my dry tongue. I could have eaten a box of those.

After 48 hours of magnesium-induced confusion, 17 needle pokes, and seeing dozens of blurry new faces with one-eye closed, my contractions were reduced and Ryan had decided to stay inside his mommy.

And then the news came that I will need to be on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Everyday, I am allowed to get up to use the bathroom (thank god!), take a sitting shower, 30 minutes at a time max of sitting up to eat, and a 20 minute wheel chair ride for a breath of fresh air. The rest of the time, I needed to be lying down … flat on my side.

My thought process went something like this: Okay, I’m currently at 28 weeks, and our goal is to stay pregnant until full term, meaning 37 to 40 weeks. Dude, that’s like 10 weeks of lying flat! That’s a lot of lying down!

When the Unexpected Occurs

All in all, the biggest lesson I’ve learned is that you may think you know what the future will hold and you can plan down to the most minute detail, but really, when it comes down to it, nothing is for certain, and nothing is completely predictable. We, as humans like to think that we’re in control, but, we’re not. Sometimes, things just happen the way they happen, and there isn’t anything you can do to stop it. And if you resist it, that’s when pain and suffering is created.

After I sobered up from the magnesium, the first thought was “What did I do wrong?” and of course, my mind was exceptional at coming up with a list. Was I in the sun for too long? Did I not drink enough water? Was it the bath I took? Why didn’t I study the signs of preterm labor more carefully? Maybe we shouldn’t have gone to Mexico?

Ultrasound photo of Ryan at 24 weeks, 5 days.

I witnessed as little bubbles of guilt and regret started to form and rise out of my thoughts. Before they took hold of me, I saw a space between my thoughts, of choices. Yes, I had a choice! I could choose pain and guilt and regret, or I could choose to drop them and do what I can from this point forward.

Despite the strong pull towards choosing something that is painful, I gave the first choice a shove and decided to focus on what I can do from this point forward. After all, there isn’t anything we can do to change the past, to undo something, so why torture ourselves with thoughts of the unchangeable?

While lying down for 10 weeks straight isn’t what I had envisioned for the rest of my pregnancy, and being at the high risk of a premature baby isn’t the most ideal circumstance; I can only shrug, smile and say, “It is what it is.”

Realistically, and practically, I only had one choice – not only to accept, but to embrace the flow of life. Everything happens the way they happen, once and only once, and there isn’t anything anyone can do to change that. The only way we can adjust psychologically is to embrace the unexpected, and look for the good.

If you’re having a hard time embracing an unexpected or unpleasant event, try the simple exercise of writing down all the good, positive, favorable things from the circumstance. And of course, being aware of your thoughts and consciously choosing to direct the course of your thoughts towards “What can I do now?” If there isn’t anything you can do now, just sit back, relax, and allow what must happen to happen, naturally.

Here’s a list of good that came out from my own unexpected circumstance:

Upgraded doctors – The hospital automatically switched my regular family OB doctor to a Perinatologist – a specialist for pregnancy complications. My new doctor delivers babies everyday, compared to my previous doctor who delivers 2-4 babies a month.
A more relaxed pregnancy – When I was on my feet, I wasn’t doing my best to rest, I was running around for errands, doing housework, and being distracted by random things. Now, I have the opportunity to truly relax, slowdown, rest and do more of the things I wasn’t doing, which will actually be better for my pregnancy. I now only focus on rest, eating and relaxing (since I’m no longer mobile).
I’m still pregnant – If Jeremy had not dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night to take me to the hospital that day, it would have been too late and I would have delivered a premature baby at 28 weeks. So, I’m thankful that Ryan is still camping out inside me.
Outstanding hospital – turns out this hospital is the best place for pregnancy complications in the North-West region of the country, where women with special cases are sent from neighboring areas. And we just happen to live 8 blocks away from it.
Outstanding care – I’m loving it here at the hospital. Not only are my baby and my contractions being monitored regularly, there’s always a nurse taking care of my needs, and food shows up at the push of a button. Not needing to cook, and having my dietary cravings and needs fulfilled has definitely been a pleasant perk.
More chances to see Ryan – Because of the situation, we’re getting a lot more ultrasounds done for various checkups. For regular pregnancies, from this point, there would be no more ultrasounds done, and we get to have one done every week. This gives us more opportunities to see Ryan in action, and seeing him getting bigger and moving around is such a miraculous sight.

Other Lessons

I learned several unexpected lessons through this experience that somehow ties back to gratitude. They may seem trivial to some, but once we no longer have them, you start to realize how important they actually are. Here’s a list, in no particular order:

Appreciate my Legs – When we were coming back from Mexico, the pain felt so severe that I wasn’t able to stand-up on my own, so Jeremy got a wheelchair at the airport layover, and also helped me when I needed to use the bathroom. I never actually realized or appreciated my freedom to move around without help until that day. We had to go an extra distance to find a working elevator to get on the terminal transport, and at some terminals, family-bathrooms didn’t exist, and we had to jump through extra loops to find one so I could pee. If you have freedom of mobility right now, take a moment to give gratitude to your legs, or tools for walking.
Appreciate the Ability to Drink and the Availability of Clean Water – I know this may sound odd, but during those 48 hours of dying thirst and limited water intake, I learned to appreciate the simple but vital act of drinking a glass of water. Take a moment, get a cool glass of water, and drink it with all your attention and awareness. Feel the coolness of the water entering your tongue, rolling down your throat, and quenching your thirst. Appreciate it, appreciate that you have access to clean water, and are allowed to drink as much as you like.
Appreciate the Ability to Urinate – I hope this doesn’t offend you, and I know it sounds funny, but it’s an important one. During the first 36 hours on Magnesium, I didn’t have the freedom to pee on my own. I was hooked up to a device that drained urine from my bladder, and the foreign device in my bladder was causing my body to feel as if I wanted to pee constantly, but couldn’t. All I wanted to do was to go to the bathroom and feel the sensation of being able to pee on my own. Next time you’re in the “loo“, fully enjoy it, and give a whisper of thanks that you have this ability, because not everyone in the world does.
Appreciate the Ability to Chew – During the 48 hours, I didn’t realize my ability to chew properly would be inhibited until Jeremy put a slice of cucumber in my mouth. I bit down using the normal pressure that I’d used for a cucumber, and when I lifted my teeth expecting a bite, the thing remained solid. It made us laugh, but it was also a little sad that I couldn’t eat raw vegetables (including lettuce), or anything that isn’t very soft. Once the medication wore off, the first meal I had was so satisfying that I couldn’t stop thanking my mouth for its ability to chew.
Appreciate my Mobility - I’m now in a position where I depend on other people, and cannot freely move around like before. It’s brought a whole new perspective to my life. If you have the freedom of mobility and function independently, take a moment to give thanks for your freedom. Give thanks that you can freely walk around outside right now.

The above are just five particular bodily functions that I experienced during this time, but aside from that, every part of our body plays such a vital role for our survival and comforts. And once they’re gone, that’s when we typically recognize them and appreciate them.

Take a moment before you go to bed tonight, close your eyes and take a few deep breathes, then go through every part of your body, starting from your toes and move up to the hair on your head, imagine each part and give thanks to it with a loving and friendly attitude. I bet you’ll not only sleep better, but your body will respond to your gratitude in miraculous ways.

Parting Words

Life is filled with the constant flow of ups and downs, and what separates you from the next person is your chosen response to the external. You can allow it to bother you and chisel away at your wellbeing, or you can accept the “bad”, look for the “good” and embrace it for what it is. After all, it has already happened, and no amount of self-torture will change the past.

The only true choice we have on our journey through life is to face what’s immediately in front of us, handle it to the best of our present abilities, and move on to our future from the anchoring point of “what can I do now?”

And if you do get frustrated with yourself for failing to do the above, remember that it’s o-kay, you’re only human after all. It’s never too late to redirect the sail of your focus, and start from whatever emotional state you’re in.

Things, circumstances, and people come and go, and the only thing that remains constant is YOU, witnessing it all from the present moment.

** What personal challenges are you faced with right now? What are some things that you’ve learned thus far through it? Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comment section, below.

Personal Update

Tina and Jeremy Sawatzky in Mexico Renewing Wedding Vows
Tina & Jeremy renewing wedding vows, Mexico, November, 2009. (Week 27)

I’m still having contractions, though they are in the safe range of 1-4 an hour. The doctors will keep me in the hospital on bed rest until 32 weeks, at which point I will likely be sent home to continue the bed rest.

We’re really thankful they are keeping me here longer. We feel that it’s the best place for bed rest patients, especially with all the extra help and monitoring equipment.

Our ultimate goal is to make it to full term. Our immediate goal is to get to 30 weeks (Friday Dec 4th), then week 32, then week 35, and finally past week 37.

If you can, we would really appreciate it if you can take a minute right now to send a positive intention for us, for Ryan to make it till full term. Thank you!!

According to the hospital tests, Ryan is healthy and happy baby. He is also very active, sometimes, I feel like he’s doing karate in my tummy. When you tap my belly lightly above the area of where he’s parked, he will tap back, and it’s visible. It’s really adorable.

So, the hospital will be our home for the next few weeks. Jeremy sleeps on a foldaway cot next to my fancy hospital-multi-adjustable-bed, where I spend my days tucked away between seven pillows. The room itself is large for hospital standards, with two comfy recliners, an attached bathroom, and a view of Elliott Bay and downtown Seattle. I’m a happy gal.

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54 Responses (52 Comments, 2 Trackbacks ):

Comments

Karin

Dec 03 09, 3:14 pm PDT

1
Beautiful. Blessings to you.
Devan

Dec 03 09, 3:28 pm PDT

2
Best wishes for a safe full term pregnancy and safe delivery of baby Ryan.

Having lost my father (who incidentally delivered babies for a living) and mother in law recently to debilitating illnesses that meant they were trapped in a bed for the final part of their lives, I agree with you that appreciating the little things that you take for granted (i.e. going to the toilet, drinking and eating on your own etc.) are very important.

I am on a daily basis, thankful that I have full use of all my limbs and faculties!

Regards,
Devan
Otto
Dec 03 09, 5:09 pm PDT

3
Hi T,

All the best for you and your family. Hang in there baby Ryan. :)

Otto
lorraine de hart
Dec 03 09, 5:18 pm PDT

4
Congratulations…its less than 4 hours away from Dec. 4th (your 30 week goal for your little guy) and I have no doubt he will continue to hang out just where he is suppossed to be until he is ready to explore…
One of the best pieces of advice someone gave me when i was pregnant – was to enjoy the time you have your baby inside you because it will be the only time he/she is ALWAYS with you…you never have to be faced with leaving him.
good luck and enjoy..its a beautiful time. I say this as my baby is in his first year of college this Fall.
best – lorraine
Alex @ Happiness in this World

Dec 03 09, 5:35 pm PDT

5
Tina,
What a wonderful attitude you have! Truly, the path to our goals is rarely the one we think we’ll take or want to take. Your post is a great lesson in learning to be committed to the goal and not the path. We can create value out of any situation, and it sounds like you’re well on your way to turning this situation into a growing experience. I wrote a post about this very thing, “Changing Poison Into Medicine,” that you and your readers might find helpful and/or encouraging. Best of luck!
Therese Miu

Dec 03 09, 6:17 pm PDT

6
Tina, Thank You so much for sharing your story. I almost got teary-eyed. I know first hand about pregnancy. Although, I never had anything happen to me with my son while I was pregnant with him. I know all about the hospital experience nurses in and out doctors checking up on you, drugs, etc. I am happy to hear you are getting some much needed rest. I wish you a wonderful and successful full-term pregnancy. I will definitely send you loving thoughts of prayer. As I learned in ho’oponopono healing teachings just keep saying “I love You” to your son and communicate with him more. You two are one. As William Blake says, ““I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love.” Sing to him, communicate with him, and tell his divinity “I love you”
Love Light & Blessings
Therese Miu
Nathalie Lussier

Dec 03 09, 6:21 pm PDT

7
Aww! Sending all three of you lots of love, good vibes, and major hugs!

It must have been so frightening, and I’m still shocked for you. I am so glad you’re in such great hands, and that you’re able to take it easy and rest. It definitely seems like one of those things you just need to accept, and embrace.

I know everything will turn out for the best, and you’ll be a great momma! :)
Carole -Rejuvenation Lounge

Dec 03 09, 6:45 pm PDT

8
Ah, babies and children, they are definitely here to teach us and each have their own unique journey.

Tina, make the most of all care, nuturing and rest as things will soon change yet again.

Sending wonderful prayers and blessings of well-being to you and your family.

Thank you for sharing an intimate part of your life.

Peace, love and chocolate

Carole
Tess The Bold Life

Dec 03 09, 7:23 pm PDT

9
You look awesome in Mexico photo. Congrats on your renewal and yeah for the three of you and your wonderful future.
Jesse Taylor III

Dec 03 09, 7:28 pm PDT

10
Tina and Jeremy,

Best wishes for a smooth, pleasant remainder of your term as well as a successful birth of your son, Ryan!

Thanks for the post, as always the take-a-way from these are invaluable. Glad to know I’m not alone :D

Best wishes,

Jesse
John - Zen-Moments

Dec 03 09, 7:35 pm PDT

11
Tina,

All I can say to this is:

1) I’m glad that you and your baby are okay.

2) I’m happy to see how you are coping.

3) Your child began his journey in the peaceful surroundings of your meditation training, and it looks like he’s going to finish that way because you are going to have a lot of time to meditate now. Funny how that works out huh? :-)

Best,
John.
TwoWishes Tara

Dec 04 09, 12:58 am PDT

12
I’ve read your lovely blog for a long time, and am finally de-lurking to wish you all the best. I was on home bed-rest for preterm labor from 24 weeks onward, with only one night in the hospital. Very scary at first, but luckily everything settled in to a “status quo” after my initial crisis week. I had regular contractions, was 50% effaced and 1 cm dilated, and the baby was head down and ready to go, BUT it never got worse from there. I didn’t actually deliver until 37 weeks, and by that point she was 7 1/2 pounds and more than ready to go. Hopefully you will have a similar experience.

One thing that took me a long time to understand — contractions aren’t technically a problem (no matter how many, how painful, etc.) as long as they don’t cause further cervical changes. Once a doctor finally explained that to me, I was able to relax much more easily and just let the contractions flow without worrying constantly about them.

Look forward to reading your happy news — hopefully a few months from now!
lockedupspirit
Dec 04 09, 6:55 am PDT

13
I’ve been a regular reader of your blog and decided to Delurk as well. I felt I needed to chime in on this because the exact same thing happened to me 15 years ago. Magnesium Sulfate and everything! Your description was so detailed, I could almost taste the medicine again.

I, too went into labor at 27 weeks. I was given the same treatments and discharge instructions. I lasted until 30 weeks. My daughter was born on Nov 28, 1994. She was barely 4 pounds. Her lungs were strong and she was in good health. They decided to send her home. I was barely 21 years old and terrified that something might go wrong since she was so fragile and small.

I decided that nothing was going to go wrong as long as I was strong enough to handle it with care and without going completely out of my mind with worry. I never panicked, sought advice when I needed it and let myself feel scared and worried only to deal with the crisis ina mature and thoughtful way afterwards. I was steadfast and calm and remained that way for many years to come.

My daughter JUST turned 15. She is a bright, beautiful young lady who is a multitalented actress, honor student and leader in her school and community. She is a very intelligent girl who makes informed choices, has all the right priorities in place and balances her life wonderfully. I believe my decision to handle the unexpected the way you described helped this along.

Know that whatever happens, baby Ryan will come into this world to a set of parents that will provide a path for him as wonderful and exciting as the path that I set my daughter on. He is just excited about this and wants in on the action a little early, Just like my daughter!!!!

It’s my sincere hope that He decides to stay put for a little longer. If he does join the party early–He will be just fine. Good luck to you both!
Kristi

Dec 04 09, 7:34 am PDT

14
Wishing you a smooth and safe full-term delivery. I had two extremely difficult pregnancies and I also learned the lesson of taking things as they come and making the best of it. Looking back, I see that I became much stronger from the experience and I have two healthy, amazing children. Positive vibes are being sent your way :)
Leah
Dec 04 09, 7:37 am PDT

15
Tina, I am speechless. What a great post and a wonderful look into how scary pregnancy can actually be (or any type of unexpected medical complication). Your post brought me back to when I nearly lost my husband in 2008 (he was in the hospital for 1 week most of it in ICU). We made it through that time and it was not easy!

Best wishes to you, your husband, and baby Ryan.

Happy Holidays and a beautiful New Year for your new family.
Rebecca
Dec 04 09, 8:02 am PDT

16
Happy 30 weeks! Wishing you all the luck in the world!
I recently gave birth to my son Leon (first baby & I’m 20) and like you, my pregnancy was uneventful and I took this for granted and expected an uneventful birth too but I ended up having an emergency c section (though it was at 41+5 weeks) and I’ve never accepted that I had a c section or embraced it or seen the good things about it. After reading this post, it’s inspired me to make a list of the good things that came out of having my c section instead of thinking about the bad things. Thank you. :)

I can’t wait to read your future posts about your little boy and hear that he’s come into the world at full term! x
Michael Welsh

Dec 04 09, 8:10 am PDT

17
Wow! What an awesome post. Best wishes for you.

I love how you framed these events in a way that illustrates acceptance and learning. I am sharing this one with everyone I know.

Thank you!

Mike
Angela
Dec 04 09, 8:26 am PDT

18
Tina,
I wish you all the best to you and your family. I’m sure that Baby Ryan will be just fine :)
I admire the way you are facing this situation and the fact that you are brave enough to share it with the rest of us.
Mariela De Marchi

Dec 04 09, 10:59 am PDT

19
Dear Tina,

I cried with your post. I am facing the unexpected right now, but in my case the unexpected is inside of me, and it is truly unpleasant. I am fighting both against me and beside me, trying to deactivate my old defences built as a reaction following child abuse. Some month ago I started to gain awareness, thanks to my partner who gave me confidence, but at some point I did a very ugly thing in order to hurt him. I didn’t realize it right away, but I was trying to say “hey, I need to be alone, I can’t have a normal relationship at the moment, you know too much about me”. He is the only person who can help me right now, he is the one that knows me better and that gives me all his lucidity, he is also the one I love. But I am not independent neither autonomous, I mean emotionally, psychologically. And this way I can’t be with him, I can’t be with anybody. Not yet. I will some day, but the path is so long, and I am just moving the very first steps… Sometimes I look forward and I feel so sad, so down, because of the long trip I have to face.

That special person is still close to me, we are not a couple but we are intimate in the soul. We speak so much, two times a week, every week, about me, about my achievements, about my family, about usual family ties and traps, about life, about real relationships, about human kind… But it was so hard to me to accept that we are not a couple, that it’s not possible for me right now, that this situation is necessary because it’s the only way I have to really face reality and face myself. And this acceptance arrived yesterday, so it’s still burning my heart and my skin.

Being alone is the only way I have to take care of me, otherwise I tend to depend on the other person. And in this kind of situation is really hard to don’t feel guilty, because everything comes from me. But it comes from me because it’s my child side that claims for help, that asks me to accept myself.
I am also a mother of two little girls (4 and 6 years old), I’ve been very lucky with both pregnancies, everything went right. But, as you can see, now I’m facing a harder pregnancy: I have to deliver myself.

I wish you all the best, thank you for the post.
Oleg Mokhov

Dec 04 09, 11:05 am PDT

20
Hey Tina,

We can’t do anything about what’s out of our control, so it’s a waste of time and energy worrying. Instead, we should focus our resources on what we can control, changing our situation for the better.

Like you said, some things are what they are. Just accept and embrace them, and let it be – you can’t change it anyway. We can become relaxed and get more results by directing energy to maximizing and bettering that which we can change.

I was surrounded by a lot of stress and yelling over the past many years. And at first, it really got to me – and I hated myself for being stressed out and being angry. But I knew I couldn’t change my immediate family and surroundings, so I ended up accepting my situation as is.

I started looking at what positive things I could get from my situation. Turns out it was like a training-to-be-calm-and-collected bootcamp, except involuntary and accelerated. I focused on not letting negative energy affect me, and when others were stressing out, I pushed myself to be calm and unaffected.

After a few years, I actually appreciated having this involuntary bootcamp. I’d see others flip out and wonder how I stayed level-headed, not letting negative energy and stress affect me. I realized that this was actually a blessing in disguise. Similar to your premature almost-birth forcing you to relax for the remainder of the pregnancy, which turned out to be what’s best.

By accepting and embracing the situation I had no control over, I started focusing on the positive. I stopped thinking about how hard life sucked or whatever, became relaxed and enjoyed life more, and actually got some results out of it (I became calm and collected).

###

Thank you for sharing your story, Tina. Raw, honest, and captivating. I’m so glad that the premature birth didn’t happen, and that Ryan’s birth is back on track. I’m sending positive energy to your tummy right now.

And thanks for the reminder to appreciate my body and water. I was definitely taking them for granted. I’m constantly trying to appreciate and enjoy that which I have, but even those things were eluding my appreciation. You can be sure I’ll enjoy my glasses of water today, and my toes will get a proper wiggling tonight.

All the best to you, Jeremy, and Ryan,
Oleg
Amanda
Dec 04 09, 11:17 am PDT

21
A couple of days ago I was just wondering… where were you? Where the hell where your pregnant belly photos? How were you doing, anyway???
And here’s the answer. God, that’s shocking. No one deserves such pain!
But again, more lessons I’ve learned from you, Tina. The three of you are amazing people (Ryan didn’t arrive yet but he is already awessome ^_^).
All my best wishes, from Brazil, to the Sawatsky family :)
Hayden Tompkins

Dec 04 09, 12:44 pm PDT

22
Tina, first of all you look radiant. Radiant!

Second, I love how you transformed this rough time into a growth experience. Staying mindful of your choices, of choosing gratitude and connection instead of getting lost in your fears.

This is a great lesson. {hug}
Nadia - Happy Lotus

Dec 04 09, 1:08 pm PDT

23
Hi Tina,

First of all, I am glad that you and the baby are okay. And second, it is awesome that you found wisdom in all of this. So many people take for granted the simple things….like the ability to go to the bathroom by oneself. And I won’t get started on the sheer blessing of water.

May the next weeks be smooth, healthy, and full of inspiration!
li
Dec 04 09, 2:06 pm PDT

24
hi tina and congrats on making it to your goal! i too was blessed with an early arrival. although i was not given magnesium sulfate, my contractions did slow down and i did return home with the same instructions. i was about a month early, but despite that, have a happy and healthy daughter.

stuff just….happens. and that’s as it should be.

sending you loads of thoughts for an awesome birth and wonderful family lives ahead of you all!
Kim from CA
Dec 04 09, 2:48 pm PDT

25
wow! scares me to be pregnant now. Sorry to hear how tough you had it. Anyhow, I just had stomach surgery (yes with catheter) and was so miserable that I appreciated walking from one side of the room to the next. Life is so full of ups and downs. Best wishes to you and the baby.
Michelle C
Dec 04 09, 6:42 pm PDT

26
Congrats Tina. On so many levels.
Congrats on reaching a GA of 30 weeks.
Congrats on being able to focus on the here and now.
Congrats on seeing the positive in such stressful situations (one after another!).
Congrats on keeping such grace and patience with the people who keep poking and prodding you, and with the objects that keep flashing and beeping at you.
I have seen all sorts of drama, ugliness, and anxiety come out when people are in situations like yourself. Congrats on keeping your heart warm and your head cool.

I hope you found the link that I sent you helpful. It sounds like you’re in excellent hands. Please ping me if you’d like to talk (about anything).
Michelle C
Dec 04 09, 6:53 pm PDT

27
I forgot to tell you that I will be sending positive developing thoughts to Ryan’s lungs, and calming thoughts to your uterus :)
Catherine

Dec 04 09, 8:42 pm PDT

28
I’m so happy that they decided to keep you! I know that I would be at home and telling myself I fold laundry in bed or something! I hope that you reach all your baby goals! Good luck you three!
Kerry Philpott
Dec 05 09, 12:02 am PDT

29
Great article and great advice! I’m sure many people will be thinking of you during this time. Take care.
Emma
Dec 05 09, 6:16 am PDT

30
Incredible story thanks for sharing. Of course many blessings to you all. Stay parked for a bit longer Ryan! xoxox
E
Dec 05 09, 8:46 am PDT

31
How brave of you to share this story with so many people during such an uncertain time. Thank you so much for your words and for being such an inspiration to us all. I’m sending you lots of positivity.
J-squared

Dec 05 09, 8:54 am PDT

32
Your advice is, as usual, illuminating and challenging. The only thing I was hoping to see in your list of things to appreciate is having someone like Jeremy in your life. As with the bodily functions, not everyone is lucky enough to have someone as physically and emotionally supportive as Jeremy. I wish the best to your trio as the remainder of your pregnancy unfolds.
Cheap Ski Gear

Dec 05 09, 12:20 pm PDT

33
After I recover from an injury I become very grateful for that body part (ankle, hand, knee). Just need to keep reminding myself to stay thankful.
Tammy

Dec 06 09, 8:14 pm PDT

34
I’m really glad you and little Ryan are doing ok. :)
That is a beautiful picture of you and hubby as well! :)
Priya
Dec 07 09, 5:22 am PDT

35
Hey Tina,

Good luck to you..
Barbara
Dec 07 09, 9:55 am PDT

36
Life is filled with the constant flow of ups and downs, and what separates you from the next person is your chosen response to the external. You can allow it to bother you and chisel away at your wellbeing, or you can accept the “bad”, look for the “good” and embrace it for what it is. After all, it has already happened, and no amount of self-torture will change the past.

AMEN SISTER I HEAR YOU!!!!!!

Thanks again for sharing
xx
Baker

Dec 07 09, 11:56 am PDT

37
Excellent post here Tina. Embracing the unexpected builds confidence and momentum. It’s actually a more exciting way to live if you ask me. There is so much to learn from when we take those risks.
Salman Khan
Dec 07 09, 12:11 pm PDT

38
Hope all stays well. All the best,
J.D. Meier

Dec 08 09, 12:06 am PDT

39
Sometimes it feels like life is this crazy roller coaster ride that you’re lucky when you’re on it, sometimes you fall off, and when you are on it, hold on and ride it with all your might.

Life’s so short and unpredictable.
Linda Wolf

Dec 09 09, 9:19 am PDT

40
Tina,

Wonderful post about your experience in the hospital and your decision to focus on what is and the positives. I loved reading your list of appreciation for bodily functions. This idea of accepting reality is key to living serenely, in any circumstances. Sometimes I wonder how I would do in a time of crisis – war, famine, pestilence – and hope that all this practice when my life is really very good would stand up to such severe conditions. Where do you stand on having faith, or a connection to something greater than yourself – is that important to you?

Linda
MoDLin

Dec 09 09, 10:00 am PDT

41
What a scary ordeal! I’m so glad the docs were able to bring everything back under control and that Ryan is still perking along fat and happy. I really like your attitude and appreciate your sharing it. (Nice photo, too!) I look forward to updates.
Henri

Dec 11 09, 8:11 am PDT

42
Amazing story. My life is going well right now so I really do not have anything to worry about. My biggest concern right now is my fear of not being able to support myself doing what I love. It is something that a lot of people have and something we all go through.

I hope everything goes well with you, the baby and Jeremy. You just made me a regular reader with this post. It’s awesome reading real stories that are told by the people in them. Keep it up!
Mark Harrison

Dec 13 09, 1:30 am PDT

43
Life is full of surprises. That’s why it’s so wonderful…
Chris
Dec 15 09, 10:27 am PDT

44
All my positive vibes to the 3 of you.
C.
P.S.: I would have add on the top of the list: “. Appreciate how lucky I am to have such an AMAZING life partner in Jeremy”.
He will make a wonderful father. You are THE man, J.!
Evelyn Lim

Dec 16 09, 7:23 pm PDT

45
Oh gosh….I can only imagine what you’ve been through! I’ve had my fair share of traumas right before the birth of my first kid. Hope everything goes smoothly! Being confined in bed is not a bad idea really! When Ryan comes, you’ll be having less of such opportunities.
Marc and Angel Hack Life

Dec 16 09, 10:06 pm PDT

46
Keep rockin’, Tina!

;-) And congrats…
marko

Feb 12 10, 9:05 am PDT

47
Great article and great advice!

All the best!!!
obul

Feb 24 10, 11:27 pm PDT

48
Great attitude and inspires us how to approach the problem and flow with life.
Nithyanandam
http://innerawakening.org/en/yoga-and-meditation/1277-what-is-yoga-are-you-doing-yoga-or-being-in-yoga
Patty

Mar 11 10, 10:07 am PDT

49
It’s good to see that you’re staying positive! Life is always better if you embrace the unexpected.
Sandra Hopkins

Jan 08 11, 12:21 pm PDT

50
Stay positive always! You did not expect things would happen the least you’ve expected but don’t give up the hopes, keep believing.
Natosha Jabaay

Feb 01 11, 10:19 pm PDT

51
Very educating write up, saved your website for interest to read more information!
Brian McKenzie

Oct 12 11, 10:28 pm PDT

52
I really like this article! You obviously put a great deal of time and effort into your writing. The world needs more good writers! Just bookmarked your website by the way.

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How to Handle the Unexpected and Not Go Crazy - Apr 06 10
How to Handle the Unexpected and Not Go Crazy « Mokhov - Jul 23 10

Think Simple Now. Happiness and Happy Life

Embracing the Unexpected

November 23, 2009 at 6am

When the Unexpected Occurs

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