Positive Attitude – 5 Steps to a Happy Life

Positive Attitude 5 Steps to Happy Life

We all want a happy life, and we all know that having a positive attitude feels better than a negative one. But for some reason, we are all attracted to and can be easily drawn to the negative side. How do we go about to establish a more positive attitude as a daily habit?

Even for someone like me, who thinks about and writes about positivity on an almost daily basis, having a positive attitude is not always easy.

I still sometimes see the world through a negative perspective, focusing on the bad and ignoring the good — especially when things aren’t going the way I had hoped. As I’ve been struggling with this lately, I’ve been reminding myself that it really is possible to change my perspective.

About a year and a half ago, I decided I was going to make a change in my life. I was going to start looking for the good, seeking the positive, and striving to make every day a joyful experience.

This was something I would have never imagined myself doing, but it’s something that has impacted my life every single day since then. I’ve had to do a lot to get to where I am right now, and I still believe I have a long way to go.

I’m not searching for any particular end point, however. All I want is to be happy, to live a life that focuses more on the good than the bad (though I do believe you need both to have a happy life).

On this road — this twisting, turning road to happiness — there have been many ups and downs. There have been challenges. There have been inspirations. There have been many amazing experiences that I never would have had if I had not made the choice to live a positive and happy life.

Recently, as I struggle to be positive about certain challenging situations in my life, I’ve been giving some serious thought to how I transformed my outlook from negative-focused to a more positive-focused one. (Note: I don’t always see the good. Like everyone, I have good days and bad days, but, for the most part, there has been a BIG shift in my attitude over the past year or so).

Though I have to admit that there are many, many factors involved in my personal development — such as my therapist, the countless books and blogs I read, creating my blog, and surrounding myself with happy, supportive people — I can say that, at the most basic level, choosing to be positive has helped me the most in terms of becoming the person I want to be.

When I think back on my transformation now, I recognize that the following five steps are the best ways to begin stumbling down that path to happiness by establishing a habit of positive attitude.

5 Steps to a Happy Life with Positive Attitude

Step 1: Believe Happiness is a Choice

For me, this was a hard one at first. I thought that people were either unhappy or happy (and I was one of the unhappy ones). I used to blame this on all kinds of outside forces –- fate, experiences, parents, relationships –- but never really stopped to think that I could choose to be happy.

Sure, this isn’t always easy, but it is always, always an option. Teaching myself to see that happiness is a choice has been one of the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself.

Now when I find myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to find the good, to be happy regardless of what’s happening around me. I am no longer pointing fingers, placing blame. I realize that everything happens how it happens and it’s up to me to choose how I want to feel about it. I am in control of my happiness level and no one can take that away from me.

Step 2: Rid Your Life of Negativity

If you want to live a positive, joyful and happy life, you cannot –- absolutely CANNOT -– be surrounded by negative people who are not encouraging your happiness. When I was a pretty negative person, I tended to attract other negative people.

When I decided to make the change to live a more positive life, I had to rid my life of all of the negative people in it. This, as you can imagine, wasn’t easy. Getting rid of people hurts -– even when you know they aren’t good for you or your current lifestyle.

Not only did I have to get rid of the negative people, but I also had to get rid of the negative things too. I had to stop doing certain things that were causing negativity in my life. I had to take a step back and examine which behaviors were good for me and which were not.

I learned to focus on the positive things I was doing and let go of the negative ones. This process was not easy and to be honest, is still ongoing, but I know this: having negativity in your life prevents you from living a truly positive existence.

Step 3: Look For the Positive in Life

There is the positive aspect in everything. In every person, in every situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not all that obvious. We have to look. And sometimes we have to look hard.

The old me just sat back and allowed things to happen by default. If I saw negative, I went with that feeling. I didn’t want to look harder or think too much about the good. I found it much, much easier to sit back and just accept what I saw (which was usually the bad).

Now, when I’m faced with a difficult or challenging situation, I think to myself, “What is good about this?” No matter how terrible the situation might seem, I always can find something good if I take the time to think about it.

Everything –- good and bad -– is a learning experience. So, at the very least, you can learn from bad experiences. However, there’s usually even more to it than that. If you really take the time to look, you will usually find something good, something really positive, about every person or situation.

Step 4: Reinforce Positivity in Yourself

Once I started thinking more positively and adapted to a more positive attitude, I realized I had to reinforce these thoughts and behaviors in myself so they would stick. As with any sort of training, practice makes perfect, and, yes, you can practice being positive.

The best and easiest way to do this is to be positive when it comes to who you are. Tell yourself you’re awesome. Tell yourself you look good. Tell yourself that you love and accept yourself completely. Tell yourself you did an awesome job at work or raising your kids or whatever it is you do.

Be honest with yourself, but do your best to look for the good. And, whatever you do, don’t focus on the negative. Nothing good can come of telling yourself that your butt’s too big or your latest career goal wasn’t met.

It’s okay to not like everything about yourself (yet), but don’t spend energy dwelling on the negative. Remind yourself of the good in you. We all have positive attributes and it’s up to you to remind yourself of them every day.

Step 5: Share Happiness with Others

Not only do you need to be positive with yourself for this new positive attitude to really take effect, you also need to be positive with others. You have to share your wealth of positivity with the world.

The best way I’ve found to do this is quite simple and basic: be nice. Be nice to other people, no matter what. Tell someone he or she looks nice today. Tell someone they did a great job on that presentation. Tell your parents or children (or both!) how much you love them and how great they are.

When someone is feeling down, do what you can to cheer him or her up. Send flowers. Write notes. Don’t gossip. Be kind to all living things. All of these things sound basic enough, but, for someone like me, they didn’t used to come easily.

In the past, I didn’t wanted to see the good in myself and, therefore, didn’t want to see it in others either. I used to be critical and condescending. Now I strive to be encouraging and supportive. I try not only to treat others, as I would like to be treated, but also to consider how they would like to be treated.

People appreciate positivity and the more you are sharing it with others, the more you are practicing it and reinforcing it in your own life.

Parting Words on the Positive Attitude Habit

When you start feeling like the idea of being a positive person is daunting, tell yourself this: “If someone who really used to struggle with a negative attitude, turned her life around with these five steps, then I can too!”

If anyone had told me a few years ago that I would be writing an article about developing a positive attitude and living a happy life, I would have laughed right in their face. I would have said, “Why in the world would someone want me to write about positivity?”

But here I am, writing this post, believing in these words, and knowing that every single day I am getting closer and closer to living the happy life I’ve secretly dreamed of living. If I can do it, you can do it. Believe in yourself and remember the most important lesson of all… a positive outlook is a choice. Choose to be positive. Choose to be happy. Life is short.

About the Author: This post was written by Dani, a twenty-something striving to live positively in the present moment. Dani’s blog, Positively Present, embraces the idea of “living happily ever after now” by focusing on all things positive. Dani is also the creator and author of Hope Springs Internal, a blog focusing on the positive representations of women in the media. You also find Dani on Twitter @positivepresent.

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Photo Credit: Aeschleah DeMartino

35 Responses (27 Comments, 8 Trackbacks ):

Comments

Uday Shankar S
Aug 31 10, 6:43 pm PDT

1
Hello, I’d like to add one more point to the above list. It is power of AFFIRMATIONS. Write down all the things that you feel you want to be or you want to change and if you can repeat it every single day (for at least 21 days) then I’m sure it becomes a habit. I believe it can make you feel more positive.

PS: While writing the affirmations please do not use negative words such as don’t, no, cant…
Daniel M. Wood

Aug 31 10, 10:51 pm PDT

2
Happiness is a choice which is the hardest to learn.
Most people react to situations and their emotions are based on the daily events of their lives, if it is a sunny day, they are happy, if it is cloudy they are sad.

Learning that you can chose, decide and control your thoughts and emotions is a very hard lesson, one I don’t think you can ever fully learn, I wrestle with it every day, but we can always become better at it.

Thanks for the post and keep that positive perspective of yours :)

//Daniel
Jarrod - Cultivating Heroes

Aug 31 10, 11:23 pm PDT

3
I think unhappiness is related to a resistance to realty and that restricts both freedom and peace.

Let everything be and enjoy. Happiness then is somewhat a default.
Nathalie Lussier

Sep 01 10, 8:06 am PDT

4
It’s Dani! Yay! I can definitely relate, sometimes it feels like I’m down/negative and others I’m up/positive. I’ve found that allowing myself to feel it and move through it works wonders. That, and like you suggest – surrounding yourself with positive supportive people is super important!
evan schulte

Sep 02 10, 7:24 am PDT

5
I have been dealing with this regarding my boyfriend. While I know things are rough he has the uncanny ability top be negative about everything. I keep telling him to just be positive and good things will come. I need him to start reading this blog.
Edge of David

Sep 02 10, 10:39 am PDT

6
There is nothing wrong with getting angry or upset every now and then. I don’t think it’s wise to always seek happiness because you will find yourself struggling against negative emotions as you never learn how to deal with them.

You also have no control over your emotions, but you do have control over your actions…which I think is the big take away of this article.
Misty Funk

Sep 03 10, 2:10 pm PDT

7
I love reading about happiness. It is a tricky little bugger though and can be present and then slip through your fingers. Although generally I feel I am happy, I still find myself perplexed by happiness and what maintains it. I did find this quote the other day that made me laugh.

“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” -Nathaniel Hawthorne
Nea | Self Improvement Saga

Sep 04 10, 1:59 pm PDT

8
Great post! #2 is so hard for some people because negativity may be coming from those who we’re told to maintain relationships with no matter what (ie. parents, siblings). However, tough choices pop up along the path to positivity. I’ve had to sever ties with a few people who I love deeply. It hurt a great deal, but I’m able to live in joy because I choose to do what was best for me.
Barrie, Live Bold and Bloom

Sep 07 10, 4:14 am PDT

9
Hi Dani,
Your points are fantastic — in fact, there is real science behind your suggestions. The author of the book, The How of Happiness, is a psychologist who has spent her career researching what makes people happy. She learned through her research that although 50% of our “happiness quota” is genetically fixed, 10% is related to our life circumstances (money, beauty, possessions, etc.) — but the other 40% is completely in our control. She discovered that positive thinking, actively feeling and expressing gratitude, and acts of altruism and kindness were the activities that generated feelings of happiness. By practicing these actions, you can dramatically improve your feelings of happiness.
On the path to happiness

Sep 10 10, 4:02 pm PDT

10
It’s been a rough journey… some times people are just born with optimism, while others are not. We are the lucky ones who are consciously aware of this and willing to put the effort to do something about it. I still struggle with it on a daily basis, but I know with continued effort, I’ll get get there to that place where all the other optimistic people already are : )
Takara

Sep 17 10, 10:21 am PDT

11
It is not always easy to be a upbeat happy go lucky type of person, but we can be more of a positive person than negative.
Carstarphen

Sep 17 10, 2:08 pm PDT

12
Hey Dani,
Great advice. Thanks for sharing. My fundamental principle in life is to do what makes you happy:)

J
The Cartoon Coach
Jenny
Sep 19 10, 2:53 am PDT

13
Just word is not persuading,people have to take practice.Everyone have life philosophy of their own,Experience determines the mind ,you construct your thoughts through what you go through including positive things.Thank you truely for your advice to happiness!

by Jenny
Craig Thomas

Sep 22 10, 12:26 am PDT

14
Nice post. Made me smile, very positive. :) Plus, easy to read with a clean site such as this.
Ben Tien

Sep 22 10, 6:24 pm PDT

15
Positive attitude will enable people to have a unique way to look at the world from another angle. In their mindset, everything is possible to achieve. If they face a problem or they make a mistake, they will bounce back from it and they will find a solution to solve it. That’s why if we focus on the positive aspect of things, we will be happier and we will be able to achieve anything.

Ben Tien
Tony

Oct 06 10, 5:00 pm PDT

16
Nice article! I think step 2 (rid yourself of negativity) is an area a lot of people either overlook, or are too afraid to deal with. It’s hard to stop associating with friends and/or family that bring you down.

Also, I think you missed the opportunity to say it’s not just people. Certain news channels, websites, TV shows…they can bring you down just as much as people. Sometimes you have to make the hard decisions and stop exposing yourself to certain programs.
Sonny
Jan 09 11, 8:50 am PDT

17
It is very interesting that you pointed out that even you as a positive expect still face struggles of negativity. I suppose no matter how happy of a person you are, struggles are always going to try to make you turn the cheek.

Sonny,
HappyTipz
Life Coaching

Apr 11 11, 7:55 pm PDT

18
I agree, as you say, that “Positive Attitude – 5 Steps to a Happy Life”

I will add that the path to a meaningful existence looks different for each of us but the way of finding that path is the same: It is self-awareness.

Thanks for the post…
S. L. Sutar.
Jun 18 11, 5:56 am PDT

19
I feel, the most impacting step in your article is 1st step i.e. “Believe
happiness is a choice”. Very good article in deed!
A.rose
Oct 15 11, 7:24 pm PDT

20
Awsome article, I believed In everything you wrote,which is great,iv read so many articals & self help books & iv only ever felt a connection wit one book called “finding me” 7 years ago,trying to find insperation again has been hard untill i seen your fab post,I fine it hard to connect In everything I read, but felt your story was true & from the heart,i belived every word,so thank u,I’f u really want to be more positive & happy,it takes work,your so rite its a choice & trust me alot of people dont get that,it dosnt happen over nit,but I’f u make positive affirmations everyday,it’s bound to stick,really felt I connected with your story, so thanks a million & pls keep it up!! Cheers
richard
Oct 23 11, 4:01 pm PDT

21
Nice job here.You are very bright, and I really think you nailed it.I am currently struggling, but I am going to try my best…….

Take care
Jacqueline

Jan 20 12, 1:05 pm PDT

22
haha – love that line – “Even for someone like me, who thinks about and writes about positivity on an almost daily basis, having a positive attitude is not always easy.” i get that way too. i try to follow a manner of seeing the best in all, and then u run into a coworker who really aggravates u. lol. great article!
Rajesh
Feb 02 12, 9:51 am PDT

23
Such a nice post and i agree with you that living life happily with positive thinking is always good. But in everybody life some situations come when you can’t be happy but we can try our best to be happy and fulfilled our basic requirements happily.
Sarah Joseph
Feb 05 12, 11:26 pm PDT

24
Hey!
I want an answer from you.
I am jealous of somebody and unhappy about my self because I think this every time, ‘Why not everyone loves me like her?’ ‘Why i am not famous like her?’ ‘Why she don’t have pimples?’ ‘Why everyone is inspired by her but not me?’ ‘Why she gets more likes and posts for her display picture on Facebook and statuses and not me?’ ‘Why she has better and peppy friends, but not me?’ ‘Why is she so funny and energetic, not me?’ ‘Why shes so good at talking to someone and every one likes her, but not me?’ ‘Why she gets more attention?’ ‘Why everybody trusts her and think that she can do more better?’ ‘Why everyone wants her attention and wants to be friends with her, and I am not good at keeping and making friends like her?’ ‘Why my friends are not that much sincere, like her?’ blah and blah.

I am tired of thinking all that every time and being somewhat negative. But I have good things too in my life and I know not everyone is hurting me but I have a jealousy like feature in my mind and I can’t believe the good things that happens to me.
I am not that jealous person who tells the wrong things like if the person (whom I am jealous) asks ‘how am I?’ Or ‘How am I looking today?’ So I won’t tell her wrong things. I’ll say what is correct and what actually I think she should do to look her best. I often compliment her too and tell her that you are very awesome person and everyone loves you.
But what should I do to break this negativity inside me? I feel inferior and I think I am not that much valuable person. I feel bad please tell me.
Thanks (:
Uday Shankar S
Feb 06 12, 11:05 pm PDT

25
Hi Sarah,

It is obvious for human beings to feel jealous at least some point of time in their lives. But It’s up to them to carry it for a life time. You will have lot more friends if you show interest in their lives rather than you wanting them to show interest in your life. Eventually, they’l also start showing interest in your life. But do remember this one thing, You don’t have to change friends if you understand that friends change. Be positive in Life, Always look for the positive things in the people.
Abhi
Mar 06 12, 2:48 am PDT

26
I feel you still have a lil bit of negativity in you..thts because though you know the fact that you are addressing ppl with negative attitude..you still say in the very beginning itself that being positive is very difficult and its very hard to achieve. This makes a person with negative mentality sway away from this article. If you r really a positive thinker you would’nt say anything in this world is too hard to achieve.
Casey Camilleri

Mar 19 12, 11:42 pm PDT

27
Thanks for sharing your story. It helps to hear others and what they have done to grow.

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Think Simple Now. Happiness and Happy Life

Positive Attitude – 5 Steps to a Happy Life

5 Steps to a Happy Life with Positive Attitude

Step 1: Believe Happiness is a Choice

Step 2: Rid Your Life of Negativity

Step 3: Look For the Positive in Life

Step 4: Reinforce Positivity in Yourself

Step 5: Share Happiness with Others

Parting Words on the Positive Attitude Habit

35 Responses (27 Comments, 8 Trackbacks ):

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