The Ups and Downs of Life + Personal News

Coming back from India, I was floating on a cloud of utter joy, blissfully unaware of the personal challenges and surprises that were about to hit me in the coming month.

While I had fantasized over the telling of what has happened over the past month, it quickly became obvious that the toughest part of my job is the potential of disclosing too much about my personal life, thus invading the privacy of those closes to me. Despite the juiciness of the story, I’ve decided to leave most of the details private.

I contemplated on why I wanted to write about it, and it became clear to me that the essence of the story is that we are forever riding the ups and downs of life, and that sometimes when the downs get really down, we lose touch with reality. In those moments, all we need is hope and a gentle nudge to remind us that it is only temporary, and that the highs are not far away.

My Personal Low

For the first few weeks after coming home from India, Jeremy and I were having some relationship problems caused by miscommunication and misunderstanding, amplified by the length of time that I was away.

Suddenly, my future became uncertain, and everything I had conjured up in my head of rainbows and sunshine had come crashing down. I felt like I was falling into a hole of darkness that I couldn’t crawl out of. I was confronted with loneliness, resentment and my own victim identity. It was a painful period for both of us.

We separated for two weeks and the uncertainty was killing me. I was bouncing up and down emotionally between feeling unconditional love, and seeing the dangerous shadows of depression peeking out from around the corner.

During this time, I observed as my mind wandered: images of self-pity, focusing on past negative events, clinging on to fantasies of an unhappy future, and seeking out more pain. It was cycle of self-destruction, unless I consciously intercepted it with the light of awareness. It was both disturbing and fascinating to witness.

Bringing In the Light

“…With forgiveness, your victim identity dissolves,
and your true power emerges – the power of presence.
Instead of blaming the darkness you bring in the light.“
~ Ekhart Tolle, from A New Earth

In guiding me with a torch of bright shining light, my parents spent hours on the phone with me. One thing that made a lasting impression on me was what my dad kept repeating, “Ta-tha-ta” – something Buddha used to say, meaning “It is what it is.”, “If it isn’t this, it’ll be something else.”

He was right. I was reminded of the drama I went through a year ago, and it was clear that if not this problem, then there would have been some other problem in its place.

That’s what part of living is about – we are forever and consistently being presented with situations that challenge us, make us grow, teach us divine lessons about life, and make us into more conscious beings. Without challenges, life would be pretty dull, and we would never grow to become better people.

I was also reminded that there isn’t a challenge that we cannot surmount; otherwise it would not have presented itself to us. Even though challenges may appear impossible to conquer at times, trust that it is possible and that it wouldn’t be called a challenge if wasn’t challenging to us.

My friend Elizabeth Carman reminded me in an email that “everything is auspicious”, and indeed, it’s hard to realize this when we are going through the ups and downs, but after some time, in retrospect, “we can see how even the downs were times of positivity and spiritual transformation.”

And so, everyday, whenever I found my mind wondering, I would remind myself of two phrases, “Ta-tha-ta, it is what it is.”, and “Everything is auspicious. This too is auspicious, because it happened.”

Everyday, I focused on the good, I wrote in my journal often of what I learned, I focused on the blessings, I focused on the heart space of unconditional love, I focused on the now instead of an unknown future or past memories that no longer exist. I focused on forgiveness, understanding and healing. Eventually, I surrendered to that which I cannot control.

Here’s a blurb from my journal:

“… As for the future, I surrender to the higher intelligence of Life and trust with absolute clarity that only the best things are provided for me, that I am always cared for regardless of how things may appear now. I accept the now, by accepting the outer world for what it is, and taking responsibilities of my inner world.” (September 12, 2009)

When I finally surrendered, I stopped torturing myself.

A few days later, we peacefully got back together, and focused on nurturing the love and connection we had. It was beautiful.

My Personal High

As if reconnecting with the mate-to-my-soul wasn’t auspicious enough, shortly after we got back together as a closer union, we got the news that I was pregnant, very pregnant, specifically 5 months pregnant with a baby boy!

Within a span of 12 hours, we went from a space void of any thoughts of babies, to finding out that I was 5 months pregnant, to hearing his little heart beat in the morning, to seeing his heart beating in the afternoon at the ultrasound.

At the ultrasound, we witnessed with great amazement the miracle of another life blissfully resting inside me, quietly reminding us that life is beautiful, and while the down times may be inevitable, the ups are just around the corner.

The ultrasound technician patiently explained each body part to us as she gently maneuvered down the baby’s tiny body. I watched the monitor with mouth open, and eyes sparkling at the sight of any movement. Like seeing his complete set of fingers and toes, or seeing the little oval space that is his stomach. Jeremy held my left hand tightly and couldn’t stop shaking, I looked over at him, and his face was covered in tears.

How in the world did we not know for so long is still the subject of jokes to close friends. Turns out, I was pregnant prior to India, and there was a baby growing in me through out my 3-months of spiritual transformation at the ashram. I did not have any pregnancy sickness, and even had what I thought was a menstrual period while in India (I later learned that this happens to 22% of pregnant women – called spotting).

September 23, 2009 – Week 20 ultrasound

I thought I had put on a little weight because the food at the ashram was so good. While everyone else lost weight, I had gained a few pounds… ah! It all makes sense now! It wasn’t until after I’ve returned to my pre-India diet for a few weeks, that we noticed that only my stomach and boobs had gotten larger while the rest of me remained the same size. That was when we started suspecting.

On the bright side of things, at least we bypassed 5 months of pregnancy-related stress, and only have 4 months to go. We’re so under prepared that we don’t have time to stress, it’s just excitement and doing the necessary to best prepare. We’ve gotten over the initial shock of it all, Jeremy is no longer adamant about getting a large SUV to keep us safe, and after two weeks of reckless house shopping we decided to put house buying on hold until after the baby is born.

Ryan Ananda Sawatzky is expected to be born Feb 12, 2010; exactly one year to the date of our wedding in Kauai. Ananda means blissful in Sanskrit, and that describes him perfectly – a blissful baby.

(Side note: If you have any baby stuff that your child has outgrown, we’d love it if you would send it our way. Any used baby clothing, equipment or other necessities will be much appreciated by Ryan, Jeremy and I.)

What Did I Learn?

Photo by Edwin Stemp

An article isn’t complete without the lessons learned. The following is a selected set of lessons I’ve learned through my experience in the past six weeks:

Fluidity of Life – Life is always fluid. The unexpected and even unimaginable can and does happen at anytime. And all things, scenarios, events can shift their course at any time: from bad to good, from good to bad. There is no good or bad, there just is. Surrendering to whatever that happens, without placing unnecessary importance or investing excessive emotions holds the key to lasting happiness. At any moment, we have the choice to choose bliss, to see the light. Surrender to rigid thinking and choose to live a conflict free life.
Our Need to Blame – Blaming leads to nowhere, except temporary fulfillment for the ego. Yet, the ego does not stay fulfilled and will seek out more and more pain. Any kind of blaming thoughts, words, or accusations are ego-filling, unproductive and lead to our own suffering, even if they are “reasonably” justified.
Unconscious Actions – When we are in an unconscious state of mind (high TPS – thoughts per second), the survival instinct in our brain tells us to take unconscious actions with great urgency and conviction. These actions when taken, always lead to more unconsciousness and are rarely helpful.
The Mind’s Reality – Our mind always makes unknown situations worse than they actually are. Its goal is to dwell on pain and problems. Often when we find out the truth, we feel instantly relieved that the “reality” of events wasn’t as bad as what we had imagined.
Building Intensity – All my frustration and inner suffering really has a purpose and benefit: they build the intensity in me that further encourages me to break free from the inner conflicts, and to rise out a more conscious being established in Joy.
The Pain Body – When a person is established and reacts out of their pain body, they are no longer themselves, and we should not measure or judge their character based on when they are in this state. Recognize when they are in their pain body and detach from any painful feelings it may trigger in you. The pain body feeds on pain – its own pain and on other people’s pain. Whenever hurtful words are uttered and actions are taken, identify where they are coming from; likely, they will be coming from the pain body.
Seek to Understand, Drop Self Pity – When others behave in ways that you are not happy with, drop the self-pity story, bring in compassion, and try to understand why they are behaving in certain ways toward you. There is always a reason. Often times, we’re so wrapped up in defending ourselves and making our own side be understood that we fail to truly see things from other people’s perspective, and we miss the chance to heal others and ourselves.
Everything is Auspicious – No matter how bad things seem there is always a reason that contributes positively towards us. There always exists an incredible gift in any “bad” situation, trust that you are always being taken care of by the protective arms of Existence.

Parting Words

When things get low, do all that you can to come back to your center, and remember that you are a luminous and empowered being. You have the power and choice to bring the light into any situation that may appear dark.

No matter how unfair a situation may present itself, remaining in self-pity, blame and resentment will only hurt ourselves, and draws us deeper into that darkness. In fact, we only have two choices – to remain in darkness or to bring in the light. You have the choice to prolong the suffering, or to end it and move on.

Regardless of what is happening, the ups and downs of life will continue to prevail. And resisting to the down times will only delay the coming of the up times. Next time you hit a down time, remember that it is only temporary, focus on what can be learned, trust that it is the best thing that could happen to you right now, and know with certainty that the up time is just around the corner.

* Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below. See you there!

Editor’s Note: For those curious, the following is what I look like now (Jeremy’s been diligently documenting my weekly progress every sunday). Future progress photos will likely be posted on Simply Tina – Subscribe here for updates. Again, if you have any used baby things you no longer need, it’ll help us if you can donate, sell or lend to us. Mailing address is: Attn: Sawatzky, 2646 Rainier Ave. South, Seattle, WA 98144.

Photo by Jeremy Sawatzky

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Other Articles You May Like:

External Resources:

Video: What I watch when I am down
Book: Living Enlightenment (Condensed version here)
Book: The Power of Now

109 Responses (104 Comments, 5 Trackbacks ):

Comments

natalie

Oct 15 09, 1:56 pm PST

1
congratulations!
Tammy

Oct 15 09, 2:18 pm PST

2
Congrad’s to you both. I’m happy to hear that you are healthy and happy. :)
Jesse Taylor III
Oct 15 09, 2:24 pm PST

3
Congratulations to both you and Jeremy!!!

Also thanks for this article; it is always a good reminder that there are others out there who struggle with the daily woes of life…

I myself am going through a tough time in my life at the moment ( family, career, personal direction ) and it feels nice to read about the lessons you and others have learned and continue to learn.

Aside from reading the articles on Think Simple Now, I am currently ‘
tuned’ into The Secret, which I am completely blown away by for nothing more than the approaches it takes to provide insight and clarity into getting the things you want most of out life.

I look forward to many more articles, good luck and take care.

- Jesse
Will @ Cheap Date Ideas!

Oct 15 09, 2:28 pm PST

4
Wow, reading your post was intense – in an instant your world turned topsy turvy and changed for the better.

I am so happy for you and Jeremy :) I certainly didn’t see that one coming! It should be an amazing 4 months till your little boy is brought into the world (and ‘amazinger’ afterwards of course :).

Thank you for sharing your highs and lows.. gives us some perspective who are not in that phase of our lives yet…
Dennis
Oct 15 09, 2:45 pm PST

5
Thanks for this. It’s something I really needed to read and is very timely (of course!).
Hayden Tompkins

Oct 15 09, 4:24 pm PST

6
Wow, congratulations!

It’s amazing how life can take these sudden turns. I’m thrilled that you are in a great space with all these changes.
Karlil

Oct 15 09, 4:52 pm PST

7
Congratulations Tina! Ups and downs of life can be quite a hilarious story once everything calms down don’t you think? :)
Alex @ Happiness in this World

Oct 15 09, 4:56 pm PST

8
Tina,
Congratulations! And what wonderful news that your first five months of pregnancy were so mild you didn’t even know you were pregnant. My wife had an awful pregnancy with our son, Cruise. She was nauseated most of the time. Interestingly, when I’d apply pressure to her wrist (an accupressure point) her nausea would vanish instantly (even I, the skeptical doctor, was forced to believe what I witnessed with my own eyes). I have only one piece of advice: buy a book called “Happy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child” by Marc Weissbluth. Sleep is the key to life in the first year of life and his advice is spot on!

Best,
Alex
Jairo
Oct 15 09, 5:05 pm PST

9
Congratulations!
Very nice article and very useful lessons to learn. Thank you!
wandermom

Oct 15 09, 5:10 pm PST

10
Hi Tina,
That’s just fantastic news! I’m very excited for you.
For what it’s worth, in my opinion there is no good time or right time to get pregnant. You just need to mentally prepare to love your wonderful child.
LMK if there’s anything I can help with.
Michelle
David Turnbull

Oct 15 09, 5:18 pm PST

11
Great post (I’m thinking I should forward this to my parents) and congratulations! Hopefully the baby got a taste of enlightenment too ;)
Miguel

Oct 15 09, 5:23 pm PST

12
Congratulations Tina! I love the Ananda choice.

All the best to you both. I mean, to the three of you now!
Julia
Oct 15 09, 5:51 pm PST

13
Congratulations!
Chris
Oct 15 09, 5:53 pm PST

14
Hey T, I said it on your FB page, but congrats to you and Jeremy. I’m really happy for you guys and especially after the rollercoaster you were on just before finding out about being pregnant.

You’re so lucky to not have any morning sickness either!!! Its hard to imagine your little tummy being all round. haha Hopefully you escape the fate of the pregnant outie!! lol

Hopefully you’ll still have some time for us, after you become a mom. And if I can say, you’ll be a very yummy mommy!! You’re as radiant as ever in those pics, even in shadow! = )

Make sure you tell that lucky Jeremy that he is the envy of many.

Keep your head up TS, there’s nothing you can’t do. Remember that if you ever have another “low” (knock on wood).
Best wishes from Toronto!! Speaking of which, you won’t miss the cold which has started this week. GRRR and BRRRR.

Talk soon,
Chris
Positively Present

Oct 15 09, 5:54 pm PST

15
What great news! Congratulations and thank you for sharing so much of yourself in this post. It’s so wonderful that things are working out for you and that, in the process, you’ve learned so many great lessons (and shared them here!). Terrific and moving post!
Angela
Oct 15 09, 6:48 pm PST

16
Congratulations Tina & Jeremy. Thanks for the wonderfully inspiring article and totally looking forward to your updates on the journey towards becoming parents. Not long to go now! :-D
Gordie Rogers

Oct 15 09, 8:19 pm PST

17
Hi Tina,
I think this is a worthwhile occasion for me to comment for the fist time on your blog. A big congratulations to you and Jeremy. It’s a fascinating story, even for us guys.

It’s cool you learned that problems will come and go. Go with the flow.
Monica

Oct 15 09, 8:46 pm PST

18
Congratulations! I’m giddy for you. You look beautiful.
Congratulations!
Oct 15 09, 8:58 pm PST

19
First off, CONGRATULATIONS!! This post is sooo inspiring to me. Going on a spiritual retreat, coming back hitting a rough patch and resolving it, then to find out that you’re pregnant?! – That is truly magical..I don’t know how else to put it. You’ve proven to me that the universe does work in ways you can’t imagine, you just gotta trust it! Thank you Tina, your are the best and what a wonderful name for your baby – he truly is a blessing and so are you. Thank you!
Rosa Phoenix

Oct 15 09, 9:13 pm PST

20
Congratulations Tina and Jeremy,

I’ve been enjoying your blog. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
Saurabh Chavda

Oct 15 09, 10:07 pm PST

21
First of all, congratulation to both of you that you are together! Life is a full of mystery and I have learn that if you wish to live happilly in this mysterious life, you have to be positive. You have to believe that every bad thing that happen to us is ‘Temporary’, one thing is permenant and that is the Soul, which is inside everyone. You can name it anything but that is the only truth.

I am glad that you got happiness during India trip, (the proof is you have your own bliss (Ryan ANAND) in your life!!!

Wish you a very best best wishes and good luck on Happy Diwali (or Dipawali or the great Festival of Light), to you, your lovely hubby and new great little almighty ‘Mr Bliss’.

Hari Krishna!!
jay
Oct 15 09, 10:18 pm PST

22
Thank you for sharing your experiences.

I was curious to know if you were able to use your experience in India to come out of your current “personal low”

***********************

REPLY

What I learned and gained from India was definitely the source behind which I was able to come out of my “personal low” from the past month in such a short period. If you knew the whole story, you’d understand. I believe that all things happen for a reason, and this was just another challenge that I needed to go through in my journey to spiritual growth.

Tina
Charlene
Oct 16 09, 12:23 am PST

23
wow~~Congratulations, Tina~!!

Your website is always a source of inspiration and strength for me.
I hope everything will go well with you and you’ll have a lovely, healthy, happy baby:)
Katja
Oct 16 09, 12:38 am PST

24
Oh Tina, what an amazing story! I suppose in a way I’m sorry you went through those tough times, but then again, since it lead to so much learning, maybe I shouldn’t be! And BIG, BIG congratulations for your pregnancy, that is wonderful…Also, this article definitely shed some light on my own problems as well, so thank you for that. Much love!
Martin Wildam

Oct 16 09, 12:59 am PST

25
Congrats also from me – we expect our second baby boy for Mid November.

One Note: Just make sure that your relationship problems are all well solved and not just moving to background because of the baby. It is important that the relationship works well – then the children feel comfortable and also do cooperate better. :-)
Valerie M

Oct 16 09, 4:07 am PST

26
Hi Tina,

I’d like to congratulate you and Jeremy on your new addition! What a wonderful surprise!

It definitely is true that whatever goes down must eventually come up. I’ve always fluctuated between self-pity and mild contentment most of my life and I’ve played the victim mentality a lot. Then, this year when something happened to finally force me to look inside myself and realize that my thoughts are what controls what happens to me, not external circumstances. Since then I feel like I’ve been reborn, literally.

This post really struck a chord with me because I now understand that no matter how dark things seem, there’s always a light in the horizon, because only you have the power to find the light switch and turn it on.

Anyway, thank you for writing and taking the time to share the personal details of your life. It isn’t in vain that you’re doing this.
Lisis

Oct 16 09, 4:30 am PST

27
This is awesome, Tina! I’m so glad you and Jeremy were able to reconnect, and I’m THRILLED that you are having a baby.

I still cannot get over you not knowing that you were pregnant for so long, but then, when I see your picture, I think I get it. I looked like that when I was like, two or three months pregnant (huge baby boy!). By five or six months, the airlines did not want to let me fly because they thought I was past the 8 1/2 month cut off!

Anyway, long story short: congratulations and thanks for sharing the life lessons! :)
John

Oct 16 09, 5:09 am PST

28
“No matter how unfair a situation may present itself, remaining in self-pity, blame and resentment will only hurt ourselves, and draws us deeper into that darkness. In fact, we only have two choices – to remain in darkness or to bring in the light. You have the choice to prolong the suffering, or to end it and move on.” — after 45 years in this life & 20 years in a relationship, I can attest to how true those words are, and how much I still need to hear them. Thanks for sharing your life with us, Tina.

P.S. I absolutely love your “22 week” smile. There are few things more beautiful on this planet than the radiance in the face of a woman with child. :)
Nathalie Lussier

Oct 16 09, 5:59 am PST

29
Oh my goodness Tina! Definitely auspicious news!

Congratulations! (And yes we do have lots of ups and downs, I totally agree and get it.) But woohoo let’s celebrate the good times! I looooove you so much and wish you and the family so much joy. :)
Jes

Oct 16 09, 6:17 am PST

30
Yay!! Congratulations to you two!! That is so exciting. Also, congratulations on pulling through the downs and coming out stronger and more connected to each other! Good job.
I just love your blog…don’t know that I’ve ever commented but I’ve been reading for a long time and missed you while you were away!…but have loved reading about your experiences and lessons.
Blessings.
Kristi

Oct 16 09, 6:27 am PST

31
What a beautiful post – congratulations! I can relate as my husband and I have a boy and a girl and still get teased by friends over how two people with Ph.D.’s could have not one, but two, unexpected pregnancies. Enjoy the ride – it’s wonderful.
Hemant

Oct 16 09, 6:51 am PST

32
Congrats and God Bless You All!

I am so happy to see you & Jeremy happy and so much in love. It’s very moving. It touched my heart.
Mia
Oct 16 09, 6:53 am PST

33
Congrats, Tina! Wish you and your loved ones all the best!
Lily
Oct 16 09, 8:24 am PST

34
Tina, that is amazing news, congratulations!
I wish you and your family all the best :D
Karla
Oct 16 09, 8:25 am PST

35
Congratulations Tina,
I’m so happy for you enjoy, this beautiful time in your life. Children are truly a blessing. I have three of my own and you have no idea how grateful I am to have them. Thank you for sharing this beautiful moment of your life. Again congratulations to you and Jeremy.
Jill MacGregor

Oct 16 09, 8:51 am PST

36
tina,
Congratulations on so many levels:
On the health of your baby
The flourishing of your relationship
On letting go of things that no longer serve you
Best to you and those you love,
Jill
John - Zen-Moments

Oct 16 09, 9:27 am PST

37
Tina,

A baby; how cool is that? Way-to-go to you and Jeremy. Your lives will change with this new life within you. How “auspicious” that his first few months of existence were in such peaceful and contemplative influences.

You know you might have almost expected some trouble and challenge after your time at the ashram. The higher we move spiritually, the stronger the effort is to pull us back down. It’s the ego’s drive to survive. Never underestimate its strength and cunning. It will crush your spirit if you mistake its drama for the reality.

The good part is: you are stronger than your ego, and you can continue to grow in strength and wisdom.

Happy times to you both!
Ravi
Oct 16 09, 9:49 am PST

38
Tina, I’m very happy for you and Jeremy! Hearty Congratulations! Wishing all the bliss for Ryan.
Oleg Mokhov

Oct 16 09, 10:00 am PST

39
Hey Tina,

Life is simple; 99% problems are self-inflicted. Problems are external objects, not our identity.

If we put problems in perspective by externalizing, we stop associating ourselves with them ie. becoming victims or any other label. The problem stops being part of our reality, but instead becomes a weed in our garden that we just need to pull out.

It’s hard, because our gut instinct is to believe it’s our fault (or someone else’s… as you pointed out, humans love to blame). But it is what it is, so immediately externalizing the problem lets us get on with our lives and solve the problem by nipping it in the butt.

It’s only an object that needs to be taken care of, after all.

Congratulations to you and Jeremy for your miracle! You’re carrying precious cargo in there :)

All the best with baby preparations,
Oleg
Nadia - Happy Lotus

Oct 16 09, 10:19 am PST

40
Hi Tina,

Congratulations! That is awesome news and I am happy to hear that all is well between you and your husband.

I also loved how you stressed the importance of “it is what it is”. That is such an important philosophy and as well as the importance that everything in life is auspicious.
Char (PSI Tutor:Mentor)

Oct 16 09, 10:53 am PST

41
congrats!!!
Richele

Oct 16 09, 11:50 am PST

42
Tina, you wear your happiness beautifully. Congratulations on all of the learning and growth in recent months; we all celebrate with you wholeheartedly at the *joy* of your expanding family!
canali
Oct 16 09, 12:04 pm PST

43
RE: there is no good or bad comment below.
puhlease!…there certainly IS good and bad…what of those people who flung themselves out of the world trade centres (over 200 jumpers) to splat like pumpkins on the ground?…or the recent murder by a father to his own 3 kids here in BC (all between 5mo and 4 yrs old)…don’t give me this fluffy ”it is what it is” nonsense….take a stand for goodness sakes in the sand as per moral boundaries.

Don’t get me wrong: i do believe in opening oneself to the universe, too…just that there IS goodness just as much as there IS crap in the world…that you should accept some things but NOT others.

Fluidity of Life – Life is always fluid. The unexpected and even unimaginable can and does happen at anytime. And all things, scenarios, events can shift their course at any time: from bad to good, from good to bad. There is no good or bad, there just is. Surrendering to whatever that happens, without placing unnecessary importance or investing excessive emotions holds the key to lasting happiness. At any moment, we have the choice to choose bliss, to see the light. Surrender to rigid thinking and choose to live a conflict free life
canali
Oct 16 09, 12:26 pm PST

44
oops…forgot my manners: congrats on your soon to be delivered new baby…all the best.
Harry - GoalsOnTrack

Oct 16 09, 5:04 pm PST

45
Tina, you look great in 22nd week! ;-)
Katherine
Oct 16 09, 8:04 pm PST

46
Congratulations on the joining of the three of you!

Much love and gratitude for spending the time and energy to share your humanity with the rest of the world. I appreciate your authenticity and your commitment toward awakening – you bless us by so doing.
Quang
Oct 17 09, 12:21 am PST

47
Congrats, Tina!

Many thanks for your lessons on the highs and lows ;-)
Jen

Oct 17 09, 12:50 am PST

48
Hi Tina. Congratulations to you and Jeremy :). Thank you for sharing what’s been going on for you. Inspiring to hear what you have learnt and gained from this experience. Love jen
jessica

Oct 17 09, 12:55 am PST

49
This totally brought me to tears. Congratulations!!!
Miche | Serenity Hacker

Oct 17 09, 11:59 am PST

50
Congratulations! And thanks for sharing everything you’ve been through. It’s unbelievable that you were pregnant the entire time in India, WOW! There’s a beautiful new beginning in store for you, and I’m really happy for you. :)
Tanja
Oct 17 09, 3:18 pm PST

51
Congratulations!!! Wish you all the best and great post. :)
Adam

Oct 17 09, 4:18 pm PST

52
Congratulations – what a great article and a moving story. My favorite tip was “Seek to Understand, Drop Self Pity – When others behave in ways that you are not happy with, drop the self-pity story, bring in compassion, and try to understand why they are behaving in certain ways toward you. There is always a reason…”

Here’s a pop-sounding song by George Strait, ‘I Saw God Today’…. …a great reminder of the blessings in life.
owen
Oct 17 09, 9:08 pm PST

53
Congratulations, i am thrilled to hear the news that you and youe husband have got on the right track, and also you are pregnant. Best wishes to your happy family!!!
Without Dash

Oct 18 09, 7:37 am PST

54
Congratulations. Not only on expecting a baby boy soon, but also the fact that you were able to pass the first five months without noticing. Now you are halfway there already!
After a long wait for a post from you, it is great to read about all the ups and downs again. And you do look marvelous! Pregnancy suits you!
SKhan

Oct 18 09, 7:44 am PST

55
Hi, Just wanted to say, well done and many congrats to you both.
Vincent

Oct 18 09, 8:44 am PST

56
Hi Tina,

First of all congratulations! I There are definitely ups and downs in life and whenever things are happening in ways that are not in the way we want it, it is advisable to tell ourselves it is ok. There are a few bumps and obstacles in our journey but it will past and it is ok to have them. When we put ourselves in this position, we will be more peaceful. This will then enable us to think more clearly and move forward towards our goals.

Cheers,
Vincent
Kaushik

Oct 18 09, 11:48 am PST

57
Congratulations!

I saw this quotation recently that’s appropriate here: “if your grand purpose in life is to wake up then everything that happens to you is good…” I think it’s from Vernon Howard.

k
Alfine
Oct 18 09, 2:30 pm PST

58
Wow, what a beautiful turn of events!

You wrote this entry so well, and I connected with everything you said.

The message is very deep and important, because it’s something that many people often get caught up and STUCK in.

Something I definitely needed to hear considering this issue I’m in..

Thanks for opening up to us and sharing with us this great story.

May you have a smooth and healthy pregnancy, and congratulations Mom!

Love,
Alfine
Curtis
Oct 18 09, 3:44 pm PST

59
Congradulations!! Great post! Keep up the simply inspiring work! May you and yours always be happy and healthy.
Scott S
Oct 18 09, 6:49 pm PST

60
Thanks for the article! I always need a good reminder to actually implement the “it is what it is” mentality. I know I should do it, then my pesky brain gets in the way.
Emma

Oct 19 09, 2:13 am PST

61
Hi Tina,

first of all congratulations, wow :) Thanks a lot for writing and sharing this article. We all need to be reminded of this every now and then. Have a wonderful day filled with joy.
Sophie
Oct 19 09, 11:56 am PST

62
Welcome back, we have missed you! Hope you’ll keep blogging nevertheless and still be an inspiration to the rest of us as when you share your feelings in such a genuine fashion it truly helps!Blessings upon you two and the little Dude underneath the t-shirt, he is in for a joyful and fabulous ride methinks!;o)
Dayne | TheHappySelf.com

Oct 19 09, 1:53 pm PST

63
First of all, a big congrats on the baby news! :)

Secondly, with life, and with everything we seem as good and/or bad…it all has its right place. It all has its right purpose. Like you said, it is best during times of trial to just find our center.

Love this post Tina and once again, congrats!

Dayne :)
Duff

Oct 19 09, 3:45 pm PST

64
Congrats on both the pregnancy and learning to surrender in the dark night that follows the illumination and bliss.
Nea | Self Improvement Saga

Oct 20 09, 3:54 am PST

65
What a beautiful and touching article. Congratulations on everything… including the painful period that brought life lessons and rejuvenated your love. And of course, I’m thrilled for you with the baby. Your insight is amazing. I know that you will have a wonderful pregnancy and I’m wishing the 3 of you the very best that life has to offer.
Ivan

Oct 20 09, 5:54 am PST

66
congrats…way to awesome…love the name you have chosen…wish you the best…namaste…
BK

Oct 20 09, 7:24 am PST

67
Congratulation on the baby boy!

Life is full of ups and downs but the most important thing to do is always to focus on the good and the blessings in life.
Ang
Oct 21 09, 7:47 am PST

68
First, congratulations on the exciting baby news, and I wish you and Ryan a peaceful, healthy pregnancy and delivery.

Second, there is one lesson that I hope you took away from this that you didn’t mention in your post: While it is important to nurture your inner self, you must also nurture your relationships. I was not at all surprised to hear that you and your husband had problems after you spent three months halfway around the world during the first year of your marriage. I can only imagine what he must have thought and felt when you decided to extend your stay. I think you learned some wonderful things while you were there, and I have no doubt that it was a rewarding and worthwhile experience. But I also hope you can find future rewarding and worthwhile experiences that can be shared with your loved ones.
Debi

Oct 21 09, 2:17 pm PST

69
Up until now I am one of what must be the many lurkers of your blog. Today’s post and news deserves a hardy and unlurking congratulations. Thank you for sharing, as you always do. The absolute best to you all.
Jay
Oct 22 09, 8:41 pm PST

70
Congrats Tina
Ricardo

Oct 24 09, 3:33 am PST

71
What a wonderful moment.
When you share your moments, we learn so much. Thank you for that.
Wish all the best to your family !

Love.
Meghashyam Chirravoori

Oct 24 09, 10:47 am PST

72
oh…what a read…Congratulations of course for the baby. :)

You shared the whole story…so genuinely…that ..I felt touched..

I myself had just fought with a girl I loved and just after we made up, I realized how self-centered and what is more insane I had been in making useless childish demands about things I did not even really care about!

May I fill my next week with Love and so may you :)

me
nic @ nipitinthebud

Oct 24 09, 1:13 pm PST

73
congratulations to you both. Life has a habit of working out just the way it needs to even though at times it can feel like the exact opposite! Your story reminded me of Kahlil Gibran’s words on marriage and particularly this part:

…but let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

I wish you well for a peaceful pregnancy and beautiful life together parenting Ryan.
N x
Dr. Jennifer Howard

Oct 24 09, 1:54 pm PST

74
Yes, life has its ups and downs. Part of growing is the development of the ability to hold all of life. This includes all of the good and the bad, the ups and the downs. The ability to hold both extremes brings us to a maturity that can embrace the preciousness of life.

Congrats seems you are definitely containing preciousness.

Dr. Jennifer Howard
http://www.DrJenniferHoward.com
Asianmommy

Oct 24 09, 6:13 pm PST

75
Congratulations! What wonderful news.
Rocky

Oct 25 09, 6:05 pm PST

76
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Alexia
Oct 25 09, 6:11 pm PST

77
Hey, wonderful news! Congrats!

You remind me so much of my sister. She went through a very similar situation in spring. Then she found out she was pregnant. Then she was told they have twins. 2 boys! They’re expected soon. Future parents can barely believe this is happening.

Life is amazing.
Darshan
Oct 27 09, 12:54 am PST

78
Tina, Hearty Congratulations!
Wishing the ananda for Ryan Ananda.
Patricia

Oct 28 09, 12:00 pm PST

79
I am very pleased to read your post today and read all of your news. I am having a very tough day of letting go of old emotions, while I switch to eating raw and getting my maximum of healthy for my body. There are lots of good moments and today we are in a low…

I live fairly close to you – Olympia, but I am now 60 and have no babies at home any more and I just saved one or two things for each daughter to have in her future. There are so many – much better things on the market now…and I know here there are lots of folks who exchange things with each other. I went to a pregnancy yoga class and found so many of my friends – we are still friends 30 years later.

I wish you the greatest health and much happiness. I am glad Jeremy is posting…this great beauty.

I need to go writing in my journal now…
Tess The Bold Life

Oct 28 09, 6:34 pm PST

80
Wow what a story! It’s prove that things can “change in an instant!” I love your father’s advice and hadn’t heard it before. Your photos are beautiful. What a lovely family you have that blesses the world!
Alex

Oct 29 09, 3:45 am PST

81
Congratulations! :) I’m so happy for you guys. If your baby boy will be born on February 12, he’s going to have the same Birthday as me. I’ll keep my fingers crossed! :D
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
O.H
Oct 29 09, 5:02 pm PST

82
Congratulations :)
Julie Angelos

Nov 01 09, 8:05 am PST

83
Congratulations. I loved reading your story. The way you write is inspirational as well as the way you live.

Coincidentally I was cleaning out the garage today and decided to give away a box full of PERFECTLY lovely baby clothes for newborns. These were my boys clothes and most of them were either not worn or worn once. I can assure you they are in perfectly good condition.

I live in Italy, so you’d have to pick up the postage. There are about 20 little outfits. Drop me an email and I will send you pix or we can even skype.

Julie
Jared Yellin-Brandentity

Nov 02 09, 7:23 pm PST

84
What I would like to share with you today is something that has worked for me during those dismal days and the way that I approached them in order to veer back on course and turn things around. Whenever a so-called “crisis” occurs in life, whether that consists of a fight, a loss, negativity, inadequacy, failing, etc., we must realize that these experiences have transpired in our past and we managed to survive. I utilize a method that I like to call The Recycling of Time, similar to how we are all told to recycle cans, plastics, and newspapers so that they can be used for another day—we are going to “reuse” our experiences and emotions from these bleak situations. We will confront these obstacles the same way that we did in the past, and the more times that we actually come across these barriers and succeed, our learning curve will become more efficient as we continue to Recycle the events of our life. In turn, the negative effects of these challenges will be minimal to non-existent. So when you feel yourself approaching this point, ask yourself this question, “How did I deal with this in the past?”
J.D. Meier

Nov 04 09, 11:45 am PST

85
I like to say life’s not static, but life’s fluid works too.

Your story is a great example that it’s not what happens to us, but how we respond, what we focus on, and the power of perspective.
Celes | The Personal Excellence Blog

Nov 05 09, 11:21 am PST

86
Tina, thanks so much for sharing your heartfelt feelings. Your posts and your words never fail to reach out and connect with us. Congratulations to both of you on the baby boy, and I’m sure this is going to usher in a whole new phase of happiness and joy in your life. I look forward to seeing what lies in store next!
Helen Neely

Nov 06 09, 5:45 am PST

87
Congrats! I like the way the two pictures are taken – showing you in a progressive state of your pregnancy.

Lovely picture :)
Jon | Adventures of the Fearless

Nov 07 09, 7:53 am PST

88
Hey Congratulations.. on the baby

there is a time for everything
Jonathan | EnlightenYourDay.com

Nov 07 09, 5:29 pm PST

89
Thanks for sharing… I always find something I enjoy on your blog…. Peace

Jonathan
clairandean

Nov 11 09, 9:51 am PST

90
my goodness! i am so excited for you, my friend just had baby the other day. thank you for writing this article its refreshing.
Barbara
Nov 12 09, 1:33 pm PST

91
Tina,

I don’t remember exactly how I came across your website but I am always left inspired, feeling better about myself and mostly proud of coming thus far on my journey to discovery.

I am experiencing a challenging time in my life at the moment (marriage and self-direction) but remain positive and hopeful and have accepted that “it is what it is”. I look forward to reading more and I appreciate your sharing them with us.

Thanks you!

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

God bless,
Barbara (UK)
Harini
Nov 13 09, 1:47 pm PST

92
Hey Tina, I really liked you article and the positivity in your thoughts. Also, Congratulations on your new baby!
Karthik B

Nov 22 09, 10:51 pm PST

93
Congratulations. Becoming a mother is a blessing, Not every woman gets it… Enjoy the process!…
Karthik
Bangalore.
Genesis

Nov 30 09, 6:19 pm PST

94
Congrats! That’s actually pretty darn cool that you missed the worry and anxiety of the first five months. Trust me, when you know right from the start it DRAGS out forever!
Niro Thambipillay

Dec 01 09, 6:29 pm PST

95
Hi Tina,

This is an amazing article with so many lessons for all of us.

“Surrendering to whatever that happens, without placing unnecessary importance or investing excessive emotions holds the key to lasting happiness.”
This is a big one for me – I’m someone who makes plans and likes to stick with them… but of course, life likes to throw me a curve ball frequently so it’s a challenge for me to surrender rather than resist & complain.

The need to blame and the Pain Body are again amazing insights. I do believe that we are often just kids in big people bodies… and so to protect our inner child, we will blame and lash out at others. The truth is that we have infinite strength within us and it’s so much easier to accept responsiblity and move on. What we resist persists but we accept and befriend, we transcend.

Thank you for a brilliant blog post and congrats on your baby.

With Gratitude,

Niro
zvioletz
Dec 12 09, 8:45 am PST

96
Congratulations Tina~ =)
Marvin Barrett

Apr 02 10, 10:38 am PST

97
Wow,

A very inspiring story. Certainly has left me feeling inspired.

Congratulations for the baby and wish you all the best!

Marvin
Brown Eyed Mystic

Apr 06 10, 4:34 am PST

98
First off, congratulations!

I am a first timer on your blog, and the very first post I read of your’s portrayed an expression of candidness and crispness to the core. Like you, I have an interest in reading self-development/lifestyle writings, and I enjoy them to the utmost. Power of Now is next on my list.

Best,
Browneyed.
Mirali

May 20 10, 7:47 pm PST

99
I completely agree that sometimes life presents its presents in the most awkward manner. It may give some long lasting sores but the lessons learned will be life lessons. Unfortunately there are no schools that teach life lessons, few scriptures and tales have tried to do so but it is hard to decipher it in this era.

I have been through a similar stage in life and have started to appreciate nuiances of life when seen through a different perspective. All it needs is to change lenses of mind and then the color changes immediately!
Mirali

May 20 10, 7:50 pm PST

100
Thank you for the tips. They are wonderful and Hearty Congratulations, we need more mothers like you
Janifer Anderson
May 16 11, 3:10 am PST

101
Hi,
I am Janifer Anderson.
I have found your site not so long ago, but try to read every new article as i see your
site as one of those interesting places online (it’s not such an usual case nowadays).
This week i had an interesting discussion about (http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/ups-and-downs-of-life/) with my colleagues and i’m
going to write about it. Your site looks a perfect place for an article on this topic.
So if you would like that, it would be great if you could post it on your site.
And that’s absolutely free ofcause.

Let me know here janifer26@gmail.com if you are interested.

Regards

Janifer Anderson
benny
Jul 18 11, 11:47 pm PST

102
this was one of the most helpful articles ive ever read. thankyou very much.
Asal Aman
Jan 10 12, 1:18 pm PST

103
I am the first time visitor and I am really amazed.
This is like reading my own life story and I must admit that we have alot in common in this story.
Thanks for sharing with us and congratulations.
Wish you a million years of happiness.
colin
Jan 13 12, 9:43 pm PST

104
“And resisting to the down times will only delay the coming of the up times. ”

I agree. It’s nice to know that other people feel the same as I do sometimes. I went through the same cycle of bliss and then resentment, then fighting the act of giving up, then finally giving up. I love the highs and i love the lows, but the transitions seem to be where the suffering is.

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links for 2009-10-17 at DeStructUred Blog - Oct 17 09
SELF DEVELOPMENT BLOG » Bringing In the Light - Oct 20 09
(Un)pleasantly Plump « Irrational Basis - Oct 23 09
How to be Transparent without Being too Personal | Write to Done - Feb 20 10
How to be Transparent without Being too Personal | How to Make Money Online - Feb 20 10

Think Simple Now. Happiness and Happy Life

The Ups and Downs of Life + Personal News

My Personal Low

Bringing In the Light

My Personal High

What Did I Learn?

Parting Words

109 Responses (104 Comments, 5 Trackbacks ):

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