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How I Ended My Relationship with Coffee


Photo by jacob chen

Let me just start by saying that I loved my cup of ‘Grande Soy Latte’. But, I didn’t like how it made me feel after the ‘kick’ worn off. I live in Seattle, the home of Starbucks, where coffee culture is BIG, and coffee shops are sprinkled on every street corner. Every day, I walk past seven coffee shops on my short eight-minute walk to the office. Deciding to quit was a personally challenging one, and I am very proud to announce that I’ve been ‘clean’ for 8 months.

Caffeine can be a sneaky little pick-me-up. I hated how it made me feel afterwards and how much I was dependent on it. Here are other reasons why I decided to quit:

  • I was sweating more.
  • I would get nervous for no reason.
  • I would feel dehydrated
  • I felt mentally “numb,” less sensitive to my surroundings, less intuitive and less creative
  • It was hard to truly relax and be calm.
  • Headaches from lack of caffeine.
  • I saw my friend hospitalized from too much coffee on a regular basis.
  • I learned that coffee is highly acidic (I’ll cover acidity and alkalinity in food in another post)
  • Caffeine masks both our true physical and emotional states. Giving my body a false boost of energy made it harder for me to tell what I really needed: more food, more sleep, more calmness?

So, I decided to end my eight year ‘love affair’ with coffee (who I ‘saw’ at least twice daily). How did I do it? The answer lay in restructuring my habits. I started with staying off coffee for two weeks, and then another two weeks, which eventually turned into eight months.

There are four areas I focused on and found replacements for, which helped me part with my coffee addiction:

  • Drink - Replacing coffee with Tea. In the beginning, I drank black tea for two weeks during my ‘transition period’. Then overtime, switching to healthier choices, such as fresh fruit, water with lemon. I now relish herbal tea as a fragrant treat.
  • Thought – Replacing the thought that ‘I need coffee to stay alert’ with ‘I focus on the present moment, and in this moment, I have enough energy in me to stay alert’. The power of attention isn’t limited by what I drink. I am strong and healthy with keen mind.
  • Habit - Replacing the emotional dependency on the act and habit of ‘getting coffee’ as a form of break, with getting up to stretch, getting a glass of water and eating raw almonds. I realized that I was drinking coffee partly out of habit, “Oh look, it’s 2:30, coffee time!” Like any other habit, I just replaced it with a healthier one.
  • Need – Replacing the false energy boost with more awareness and care of my body. I learned to listen to my body more. I found it helpful to ask myself, “What do I actually need right now?“. Often, instead of “I need coffee.”, I found the answers to be: ‘I need water, my body is dehydrated.”, “I need to sleep earlier.”, “I need to take five minutes to close my eyes and regroup”, “I need to get up and walk around.”, “I ate too much at lunch.”

The first two weeks was the hardest. I felt unreasonable tired. But once the two-week period was past, I felt less and less tired, less and less coffee cravings. Also, if you are not able to make this last long term after your first try, don’t be so hard on yourself. My first attempt to quit last year failed after 3 weeks of hard work. But the second attempt worked like a charm.


After incorporating this change into my life, I am seeing significant benefit. I have uncovered my real energy. I feel healthier and I love the freedom away from being dependent on a drink. I’m not trying to lecture you into quitting, but merely to share my experiences with you. If cutting coffee out completely is too extreme for you but you’re still interested, you can benefit by reducing the amount of coffee you drink or gradually replacing it with alternatives I’ve high-lighted from the 4 focuses above.

How does your body react to coffee? What do you do when you are tired? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments.

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67 Responses (60 Comments, 7 Trackbacks ):

Comments

  1. Maria Shrier

    1

    Coffee puts the system under the strain of metabolizing a deadly acid-forming drug, depositing its insoluble cellulose, which cements the wall of the liver, causing this vital organ to swell to twice its proper size. In addition, coffee is heavily sprayed. (Ninety-two pesticides are applied to its leaves.) Diuretic properties of caffeine cause potassium and other minerals to be flushed from the body.

    All this fear went away when I quit, and it was a book that inspired me to do it called The Truth About Caffeine by Marina Kushner. There are five things I liked about this book:

    1) It details–thoroughly–the ways in which caffeine may damage your health.

    2) It reveals the damage that coffee does to the environment. Specifically, coffee was once grown in the shade, so that trees were left in place. Then sun coffee was introduced, allowing greater yields but contributing to the destruction of rain forests. I haven’t seen this mentioned anywhere else.

    3) It explains how best to go off coffee. This is important. If you try cold turkey, as most people probably do, the withdrawal symptoms will likely drive you right back to coffee.

    4) Helped me find a great resource for the latest studies at CaffeineAwareness.org

    5) Also, if you drink decaf you won’t want to miss this special free report on the dangers of decaf available at http://www.soyfee.com

  2. 2

    Please get OUT of my brain now! :)
    I’m going through the pros and cons of coffee drinking right now and agree that it can be a difficult addiction to give up.
    Funny thing though – I get all the coffee I want for free at work, and today I’m off work and haven’t had any coffee, nor am I having the usual splitting headache.
    BUT I did have a delicious raw fruit smoothie for breakfast.

    I’m no Sherlock Holmes (but I do write mysteries) but I am thinking that these two facts are connected :)

  3. 3

    Congrats on quiting it, as for me. I am one of those lucky ppl who aren’t really addicted even though they have been having it for like many years. I have been drinking coffee for years in the mornings or whenever I feel like it but still there are periods when I go without coffee or even tea for days and don’t feel anything :) Cigarettes are the real problem for me and the tips you have posted for quitting coffee can be applied to quitting nicotine as well I think so I will just give it a whole-hearted shot and see what happens….

  4. 4

    This post brought a smile to my face. A few years ago my daughter would get fierce headaches and feel miserable whenever she came to visit. We didn’t know if it was the altitude (we live at 7200 feet) or if she was allergic to something in our apartment or what. Finally she had an “Oh, duh!” experience. She was suffering from caffeine withdrawal. She always drank a lot of coffee at work in order to get everything done. It worked all right until she went on vacation. :)

  5. 5

    Great article on caffeine. I just started to subscribe to your information after I read an article you had on Josh Hinds Motivation letter.

    I am in the process of trying to kick the coffee/caffeine habit. Part of the reason is for medical and trying to improve a heartburn condition and also just the bad effects I suffer from too much caffeine. After 2-3 cups of coffee my mind just races and it becomes very hard to concentrate and focus on the task at hand, also the late afternoon after effects of the morning caffeine habit. I am starting to enjoy decaf tea from Stash, which they say is naturally decaf. I believe I look forward to the hot beverage and I am finding out it’s not so much the coffee, although I really do enjoy a good cup of joe.

    Thanks again for the information and motivation, it’s certainly not an easy issue to tackle.

  6. 6

    Hi Tina,
    I have never been a coffee drinker. In fact, I don’t even drink alcohol. Coffee is defintely overconsumed and I hear that Starbucks coffee is the worse, i.e. burned, cold, additives, etc. The average American consumes enough caffeine in one year to kill a horse.

    Congrats on your choice to quit. Well done! That took courage.

    Btw, I’ve added you to my blogroll. :D

  7. 7

    I guess it depends on whether being addicted to coffee is the problem. Having too much of something is always no good, but coffee actually does reap benefits for people on a less regular basis.

    Like here

    Saying hi :)

  8. 8

    For me, coffee is strictly for mornings and weekends. If I have a coffee during the day, as much as I like it; I do sweat more, and I feel so jumpy and anxious. Funnily enough, one cup a day in the morning didn’t affect me; but during the working day it makes me feel uncomfortable and throws my concentration.

  9. 9

    I gave up caffeine about five years ago, and didnt really feel any benefit.
    Then, I read about all the health ramifications of coffee addiction, and giving up caffeine popped up again on my radar screen.
    I’ve never smoked cigarettes, and I can see how people have a hard time getting off of those.
    A cup of coffee seems so much a part of my life right now. I’m definitely addicted to the stimulation.
    Perhaps I need to entertain my British side, and go the tea route.

  10. 10

    Tina Su! I am just right this minute saying no to coffee. Nine days and counting. How? Same way. I decided I loved a clean body more than brown teeth.

  11. 11

    all you coffee quitters are on the leading edge of something… sure, people still buy macdonalds junk, but anybody with a brain goes for organic or natural … tis the same for coffee, it was of an era, a nice treat that became a habit, but now anyone with a brain will figure out all the costs and stop drinking the crap…

    i am from seattle, and remember when there was just one starbucks, in the whole world, and have seen this thing peak, and now it is dying, at least for those who are not sheep

    (so liberating to talk like an elitist snob, isn’t it?)

  12. 12

    Tina:

    When I discovered you had recently stumbled me at my blog, I had to go and learn more about you here.

    This article about coffee really intrigued me (in addition to the one you wrote on self love) because I LOVE coffee. I start each day with 2 cups while looking through emails from the night before. I love it.

    But I have had some headaches from caffeine withdrawal but not enough to force me to give it up. I’ve also experienced heighened sense of euphoria at times from coffee. I admit I LOVE it.

    Anyway, very nice blog. I’ve already subscribed via RSS and look forward to reading more of your stuff.

    BTW, I read your ABOUT page and found it to be warm, uplifting and energetic. It’s wonderful to see how you enjoy what you do with a passion and love. Great place to be!

  13. 13

    I’ve been drinking coffee since I was 10 years old, but am not addicted. I drink it in the mornings only and I could easily quit if I needed to. I don’t ever crave it or feel like if I didn’t have it I’d be hurting.

    I love the title of your blog :)

  14. 14

    It’s a good thing I’m not addicted to coffee. 4-5 cups in the morning, 3-4 in the afternoon. But if I wanted to, I could only have 2 in the afternoon. I don’t usually want to, but if I did, I would.

    Good article. Keep ‘em coming…

  15. 15

    Hi, Tina,
    I’ve just tagged you at Transforming Stress. It would great if you joined Peter’s meme on Think Different, but if you’re not interested just regard it as link love.

  16. 16

    Tina,

    So glad you gave up an addiction. Not sure I’ve ever tasted coffee in my entire life, so I really don’t know what it’s effect is.

    This is to remind you of the creative dreaming writing project kicking off tomorrow. I am still awaiting your article. ;)

    Stay blessed.

  17. 17

    Ever try teechino? It’s an awesome coffee substitute with no caffeine. Just do a google search for it.

  18. 18

    My wife and I do “30-day challenges” where we pick something to try to improve our lives for 30 days. Last month, I went off caffeine and I have to say that it was my toughest challenge to date. The first week was especially difficult.

    Congratulations to you.

  19. 19

    Dont know if you are aware but there is more caffine in your average cup of Rosie(tea) than there is in coffee,

  20. 20

    Hi Tina,

    You never fail to produce top notch quality articles!

    I’ve never really thought much about giving up coffee; so in that sense, this article doesn’t really do much for me.

    However, I do love the way you presented quitting coffee like giving up a long term relationship with a special someone. That’s really creative, and it adds magic to your writing. Kudos!

  21. 21

    Good job! Now I’ve got two words: WHITE TEA. A nice and gentle hot beverage that will help you stay balanced.

  22. 22

    i have a very interesting and complicated relationship with coffee. went from drinking no coffee to drinking a bit to drinking 5-10 cups a week. then i cut out all caffeinated drinks because of restless leg syndrome, and that helped. then i couldn’t even drink decaf anymore. then i realized that i missed coffee so much that i actually prayed to be able to drink coffee again! now i drink two or three cups of decaf a week. stay tuned … :)

  23. 23

    I love the article. You have inspired me to take the challenge. I’ve been thinking about droppong coffee for a long time, but I keep coming up with excuses.

    I’m starting right now.

  24. 24

    Wow! Thanks for this blogbost. Very interesting!

    But ending my relationship with my beloved Coffee? Never

    I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs and don’t drink alcohol. I’m in the boundage of vice :)

    But I think with the effects you described I would stop it, too.

  25. 26

    Hello…Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin..holy Thursday

  26. 27

    Greetings Tina Su!

    I’ve been watching our coffee addiction growing over the past two decades. It’s gone hand and hand with our addictions to energy drinks and, seems to be very predominant in what “I” would call our younger generation. (I’m 51.)

    About 3 years ago I underwent a massive release on inner density and one of the effects was…not wanting any coffee. Oh, I’d pour myself a cup, then drink about two sips and that’d be it. Now, like you, I drink herbal teas and freshly squeezed juices.

    Just for fun I share I was in Seattle last month and did TRY the coffee. I thought it horrid. It reminded me of trail coffee, that could hold up a spoon erect, while it dissolved it.

    If I may, I add that we are all addicted to certain emotions and this is where our substance use is coming from. A lot of us are addicted to stress and stimulants give us what we need to keep going, like litle hamsters running on a wheel, getting no place in the meantime.

  27. 28

    This is a shocking blog!
    I recently wrote on the joys of coffee and coffee jargon. And now, this doubt!
    Oh my, I’m getting dizzy. Infuse me with java…fast…hurry..oooohhhh_____

    I see much pithyness after the original post. Is pithyness next to truthiness? For the love of coffee, I sincerely hope not. If you get tired of no coffee, give your cells a luxury spa with a full cup of Gold Coast. Each cell will give a standing ovation as the percolated molecules march by.

  28. 29

    Oh my. First time in my life I have been so pithy. Excuse me.

  29. 30

    I’ve found my desire for coffee to be dwindling here of late. I LOVE my French Vanilla, but I’m starting to notice that I get half way through a cup and I’ve had enough. Maybe I should just start burning vanilla candles and call it good? LOL

  30. 31

    it may not be the most healthy choice, but in moderation it’s all good… it’s just like weed… a cup of coffee goes very well a joint… my preferred way to spend a creative day :)

  31. 32

    I’ve been bean free for more than three years. I drink a fair amount of tea (herbal, black, and plenty of green). I rarely crave coffee, but the urge does it me and it is strong. I’m glad that I do not partake. At first, the toughest thing for me to get past was ordering tea at a coffee shop! In some strange way, ordering tea made it seem as though I was not getting the best life had to offer, if that makes any sense.

    After six months with no coffee, I did have an espresso rubbed steak salad one day at a client lunch. The “buzz” from that was very strong, instant and somewhat uncomfortable. I try to remember that feeling when I get the urge ingest coffee in any form.

  32. 33

    Gosh, Id give up a lot of other things before I’d give up my morning/afternoon pick me up.

  33. 34

    Man, i hate you! I’ve been wanting to quit coffee for a long time, but actually never found a reason tu do it, i didn’t feel that bad drinking coffe. After reading this, i really want to try it (i know i can, some times i’ve been months witouth coffee just to see if i could do it, but always went back since i couldn’t find a good reason not to drink it). I don’t know how you do it, but thanks for inspiring me :-)

  34. 35

    I’ve always enjoyed coffee at the office. Unfortunately since this summer I have been able to tolerate caffeine for some mysterious reason. If I have a cup of coffee I almost instantly get nervous, short of breath and all around freaked out. I used to drink how ever much coffee I wanted or red bull with no problems at all. I’m only 26 and find it wired that I can’t handle it anymore!! Anyone have any ideas why this suddenly occurred??

  35. 36

    I don’t know if I could ever give my coffee addiction. I love coffee too much, but I do know the health downsides of it. I am going to try and grab a glass of water when I feel like having coffee, like you said. I think I could do that … great post! Thanks again!

  36. 37

    Hi Tina,

    Sometimes I feel like that life isn’t complete without a cup of coffee a day. But everybody says that i have to stop and end it up drinking coffee. Being addiction into coffee can be say that is my habit. I maybe learned this to remove or not to love drinking it. But I have rather say that i really this thing but i have to ended it up. Thanks for Tina for this articles.

    Paul

  37. 38

    Hey Tina –

    While I understand why you needed to go your separate ways, I can’t help but feel sorry for the coffee.

  38. 39

    Coffee has been one of my best friends for so long now, but I know it’s time to say goodbye. I wish it didn’t have to be all or nothing, but I feel like that’s what I really need right now. Perhaps we will rendezvous again another time. Thank you for sharing your story Tina, your strength and diligence inspires me.

  39. Brenton Bills

    40

    I’m not addressing you specifically, Tina, or any one person who has left a comment. With that said, I believe that unless you a) don’t smoke, b) never have more alcohol per day than is found in one glass of wine, c) eat “fast food” less than once per month, on average, d) almost never eat candy, and e) never drink other beverages containing caffiene or guaranine, e.g. soft drinks, most teas, and energy drinks, to name a few, then you have no standing to tell me not to ever have another drop of coffee.

    I agree that someone who is addicted to coffee should stop, but so should anyone addicted to anything unhealthy. How many people out there who have sworn off coffee continue to overeat or not exercise?

    Some other things to consider: if you buy your coffee from Caribou, Starbucks, Dunn Bros., or any other non-chain coffeeshop worth its salt, then you’re buying arabica coffee beans. Arabica beans naturally have about half the caffiene than the canned drek you can buy at the supermarket, made with rubusto beans–which are also naturally more bitter and less flavorful.

    Also, the vast majority of people who walk into a chain coffeeshop and order their double-mocha-half-caf-low-foam-with-whipped-cream-lattes are not ordering “coffee drinks.” They’re ordering milk drinks, with a relatively small amount of coffee mixed in. I get a laugh from people who regularly order those and talk about the “buzz” they get, which is really a placebo effect. What they are truely getting is a larger waistline, and an addiction to their early morning desserts.

    I’m sorry if I come off as a curmudgeon; I simply wanted to add some perspective, and debunk some very common conventional wisdom. If you disagree with me, I hope we could agree to disagree agreeably.

    As long as you control it, and it does not control you, then go on enjoying your coffee.

    Kind regards to all.

  40. 41

    Interesting article. Very informative. But I love Starbucks…mainly for the Hot Choc though on a cold or cool day with a movie.

    My wife always jokes with my step-mom that everytime she is having coffee she is promoting cellulite.

    It always gets her worked up…soooo funny.

  41. 42

    It is going to be very hard to give up coffee. :)

  42. 43

    Luckily, I was never a huge coffee drinking but I can see people who are addicted to it worse than smoking!

    I’ll drink it on occasions but nothing special… I drink more alcohol than I do coffee lol…

    Jay
    iBlogtoBlog.com

  43. 44

    Aha.. I’m in the ‘transition period’ of getting rid of caffeine as well. I now drink cocoa or fruit juice instead of coffee. And my real need is ‘to sleep earlier.’

  44. 45

    I read somewhere that coffee is actually good for one’s heart…

  45. 46

    brentons post is absurd

    if you use caffeine you are definitely addicted, it is an extremely addictive substance with addiction secured at very low doses … most people on earth consume it daily

    it is very hard to quit caffeine which modern medicines is now realizing.. most people give up and then rationalize their addiction as not so bad…

    their have been very few quality studies done on caffeine…. things that confound this are the fact that it is very difficult to find people who do not consume it at all so most studies either compare low caffeine coffee users with higher ones or have people stop consuming which then triggers a 2 month withdrawal period that confounds results

    one study done with a religious group on caffeine compared most of its members who dont consume caffeine with the minority that do with all other variables remaining the same found that even one cup of coffee a day increased mortality…which surprised researches…

  46. 47

    Now that you are free of the addictive effects of coffee, Tina, be sure to enjoy a cup every now and then, Tina. Balance is a wonderful state of being!

  47. 48

    Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

  48. 49

    thanks for the article. i am giving it up and am very much looking forward to the benefits. it is hysterical to me how people blog here to “defend” their coffee habit. it reminds me of an alcoholic or heroin addict. i mean, why are they attracted to reading the article anyway and why do they get defensive unless it struck a cord with them. anyway, good article and good luck.

  49. 50

    I just might try this. I’ve been trying to cut out the coffee because of my kidney stones. I’ve only had one cup in the past 10 days. Maybe I’ll try replacing with tea…has to be better than water every morning…just doesn’t do the trick

  50. 51

    Awesome blog, awesome article. I recently quit caffeine, (I used to drink about 7 cups of tea a day and would get awful headaches from the lack of caffeine), and I agree with all of the things that you mentioned. I started running, which is giving me an alternate and more healthy form of energy.

  51. 52

    I hope you didn’t go with caffeine teas. Most teas have caffeine. If you chose teas with caffeine then, you really didn’t give up caffeine. You just replaced beverages with the same thing.

    I agree with many of the things you stated in your blog post. I noticed that I felt full after eating a meal. When I would drink caffeine, I needed to eat more.

    I’m on day 6 and I’m not as tired like last week. I gave up caffeine last Wednesday. Tomorrow will be the one week mark. I gave up sodas because they give me tummy issues. I have acid reflux.

  52. HaloStarbucks

    53

    I have been drinking coffee almost every day since I was 12 years old, I am now 23, in my senior year of college, and I am a LITERALLY ADDICTED to coffee as anyone has ever been to Chrystal Meth or Heroin. By around 10 am if I have not had coffee, my head feels like it’s encased in concrete, I get irritable and I can’t think coherently. If I still don’t do anything about it by 2 pm I feel like there is a sharp piece of glass stuck in my brain,very bad.
    Honestly though, I just plain LOVE COFFEE and I don’t want to give it up even if I could. As long as i drink one cup in the morning im just fine. Unfortunately i spend $25 a week at Starbucks which has got to stop.

  53. 54

    Congrats.. One less coffee drinker in the world. We need more.

  54. 55

    I started drinking coffee again.

    To be honest, I always craved it. I had stopped completely for five years.

    I do feel like I can take it or leave it now, but I usually choose to take it!

    I’m drinking Hawaiian Kona right now.

  55. 56

    I live in Seattle, the home of Starbucks, where coffee culture is BIG, and coffee shops are sprinkled on every street corner. Every day, I walk past seven coffee shops on my short eight-minute walk to the office.

  56. 57

    I quit coffee a few months ago on my first attempt. I was having one in the morning, and often one in the afternoon. I never realized how much the coffee affected my ability to fall asleep at night until I quit. My mom would always warn be about having it in the afternoon and I thought she was crazy. Anyway, I guess mothers ARE (almost) always right.

    So, I’m sleeping way better, I’m saving money (I drink tea instead of buying coffee), and ………….. I don’t sweat anymore!!!!!!!!!!

  57. redpillpuppet

    58

    It seems to me that most people experiencing these unwanted side effects or withdrawal are addicted. So quitting seems the logical thing to do. But to banish it completely if you don’t need to, to me, is just as extreme and unsensible as drinking coffee all day long.

    I, myself, am very sensitive to caffeine and get sweaty and jittery relatively quickly but I love to drink a few cups a day. It’s the same as with alcohol (or even chocolate), modesty is key and on top of that, small portions seem to be good for your health.

  58. 59

    You should most certainly do a 2nd part to this information.
    Many of us have unanswered questions and we absolutely
    would love you to answer them for us, am I wrong folks?

  59. 60

    Caffeine accumulates in the body as uric acid waste materials which causes a chronic poisoning. Read all about how it happens and how caffeinism induced health problems can be cured in hours or days.

    Everything you ever wanted to know about caffeine, but looked from all the wrong places.

    http://brainlaunderette.blogspot.fi/

    http://qmies.blogspot.fi/

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