How to Make Profound and Lasting Change

Photo by Zara Jay

Is there an area of your life that you would like to change? Is there an area of your life you’ve tried changing, made some progress but somehow ended up in the same spot you started in?

Maybe you want to lose weight; you want to improve your temper; you want to control your web browsing addictions; to be a better parent; or in my case, to wake up early and to exercise regularly. Often, I’ve found myself struggling when revisiting the subject.

I came across a google talk of Professor Srikumar Rao. His mission is to help highly intelligent people find meaning in their lives. His talk deeply moved me and I knew instantly that I had to share with you. The following are part one of my notes, along with what I learned from this talk.

Learning New Concepts

Before we dig into making profound and lasting change, here’s a caveat on learning new concepts.

When we are introduced to new concepts, our mind tends to seek out ways that it will fail. Automatically, we think of reasons why this isn’t true. Of course, if you push hard enough every statement a person can say will crumble. However, just as equally, the models we are currently using which we have not subjected to the same scrutiny will too crumble.

The question is not to ask whether something is true or false, right or wrong, good or bad. The question to ask is: Does this work for me better for my life than what I am presently using?

If the answer is yes, use it. If not, don’t waste your time and energy judging it, because it may be useful to you at a later time.

Profound Change

There may be things present in our lives and our habits that we are not happy about. We want change, yet as hard as we try, sometimes, we are just not seeing the level of profound change we desire.

As it turns out, real behavior changes are very difficult to bring about by effort of will alone. Often times you will fail, yet even if you succeeded, there can be negative side effects. A solution to this that brings about profound change is to change our mental models, which will change the way we look at the world.

When this happens, change will rise naturally out of us.

Three Important Building Blocks

Before this change happens, we need to understand three important building blocks. They are the basis for tools that will help us transform problems and unhappiness to a life of meaning and happiness.

1. Mental Chatter

Our mental chatter is the internal dialog that is going on in our heads at all times. Our thoughts run an endless stream from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to bed. Thoughts are flowing through your mind right now as you read this. What is she talking about? That’s a tall order they’re claiming, isn’t it? Gosh, what am I going have for dinner?

Sometimes our mental chatter is so loud that it prevents us from sleeping. It has been with us and apart of our lives for so long, that we have learned to ignore it. However, what we don’t realize is that our mental chatter and mental models are what we use to create our lives.

We think that we are given a set of things that is our reality, but that is not really the case. We construct it with our mental chatter. Much of the time, we are building it without knowing that this is what we are doing.

Be aware that we have mental chatter and recognize that the voice in our head is not us. Our mental chatter often works against us and is highly dysfunctional. This is the voice that talks down to us, challenges our self-esteem and is the source that limits our infinite potential.

2. Mental Models

A mental model is our belief of how the world works. We say, this is the way the world works. Mental models can be very useful because they simplify our lives and save us mental energy. Each of us has many mental models. For example, we have mental models for how to find a date; mental models for how to pick a movie; mental models for how to find a good restaurant.

The problem is not that we have mental models, but that we don’t recognize we have mental models. We think this is how the world works. But, this is not how the world works; this is our perception of how the world works, built in our mind.

The interesting thing about mental models is that the moment we have a mental model defined, the universe cooperates and gives you enough evidence that this is in fact the way it is working. You notice and take account of the positive evidence, and make excuses when evidence does not fit your model.

Every time you find yourself unhappy with something in your life, you can always trace it back to one or more mental models which are not serving you very well.

3. Me-Centered Universe

Most of us have a habit of living in a Me Centered Universe. We interpret everything that happens in terms of, What impact does it have on me?

For example, If our spouse gets a new job, we instantly think of how we can benefit from it. If our kids were to drop out of school, we instantly think of what our neighbors and friends will think of me?

It’s worthwhile to take a moment to think about this. How much of the time do you live in a Me Centered Universe? Where regardless of what happens, the first thing we think about is in terms of What is its impact on me?

If you spend a dominate amount of time in the Me Centered Universe, you are guaranteed to find more than your share of frustrations, of pain, of suffering, of life sucks. They come with the territory of being in a Me Centered Universe.

The only way you can live a completely fulfilled life is to design your life such that what you are doing aligns with something which will bring greater good to a greater community. You are the one who gets to define what the greater good means and what the greater community means.

The good news is that once you recognize this, it is not that hard to make a shift.

Photo by Zara Jay

Living in The Matrix

Given the building blocks above, let’s entertain an idea: All of us are living in a dream world. We are all living in The Matrix, except we don’t realize it. We believe that this is the real world, and as such, what we perceive as reality becomes definite and fixed. But is this necessary?

The answer is no, of course not. We have the power to choose what our reality is, because we are the captains of our perception.

Steps for Altering Your Reality: An Exercise

Try this simple yet powerful exercise. You can do this in a group of 2 or 3, or you can do it on your own.

Articulate a reality – In your life, you have something of concern to you, right now. Around this concern, you have crafted a reality. You say, this is what it is. Now, articulate this reality. Write it down if you are working on your own. Every detail and every assumption.
Craft an alternative reality – Come up with a possible alternative reality. This alternative reality must meet two criteria:
1. It has to be better than the one you were describing, the one you are presently using.
2. It has to be a reality that you can plausibly believe, on some level.
Start living as if your alternative reality were THE reality – when you start to do this, you will find two things happening:
1. You will get lots of evidence saying: it’s not working. It’s not working. I guarantee you will. Just ignore that. Remember? Your mind is not you.
2. You will get lots of evidence saying: It’s working! It’s working! – Recognize and celebrate it.
Write it down – When you get evidence that it is working, do more than celebrating it. Make sure you record it down. Write it down. This is a very important step. There will be a natural laziness that comes into play whispering in your ears that you will remember it. But you won’t remember. Make sure to carry a note book or notepad with you at all times.

If you consistently write down evidence that your alternative reality is working, you will find over time that, as you review your words, there is a shift happening. Slowly, your alternative reality becomes your new reality. You will find that your life has changed, for the better. And that you are living in a different reality than the one you were in before.

When we craft a statement that says this is where we are and we are stuck here. What we are doing is expressing the reality of our lives. The thing to recognize here is: It is a reality, but we treat it as if it is the reality.

Once we define our lives as Yes, I can do all these things. Then suddenly, ways will be shown to you such that you can do it.

This alternative reality exercise is very powerful, because it can get you out of the straight jacket that you’ve put on. Over time, it’s not just an exercise anymore, but it becomes who you are.

Other Tips

In addition to the building blocks and alternative reality exercise above, here are some tips for making habitual changes in your life.

Focus on just one – It’s challenging enough to make one habitual change, it’s even tougher if you try to divide your attention to make multiple drastic changes at the same time. I’ve successfully tried and failed at this. Give yourself at least 3 weeks of total concentration to change one reality before moving on to the next area of your life. Give yourself more time if you need. Some deep rooted realities can take months to undo.
Mutual Support – Be around positive, uplifting and supportive people. Share with them your wins, joys and celebrations. It’s a great idea to form empowerment groups around you to discuss issues like this and to support each other in your personal growth. If you have a spouse, team up with them and make this a fun time to connect with one other.
Understand Why – Be clear and specific on the why you want change. Motivation is the intrinsic drive which moves us into action and to ultimately change for the better. Motivation is created when our motives are clear. Fully understand the results of such change and results of no change. Write them down.
Be Inspired – Spent at least 10 minutes every day reading or listening to something positive and empowering that inspires you. There is so much junk out there in our media heavy society, that if we don’t take the steps to surround ourselves with positive messages of hope, it’s easy to get sucked in to what we’re being exposed to. I’ve found this little video to be an uplifting thing to watch in the morning.
Reward & Celebration - I can’t stress this point enough, as I am guilty of not rewarding myself for Wins (because I’m too busy beating myself up over what I haven’t done yet). I recommend physical celebrations, because those tend to leave lasting marks on our unconscious mind. Give a high-five! Jump up and down! Do a happy dance! Reward yourself and treat yourself to something nice, like ice-cream or a movie.

My focus for this week is to become an early riser. My present reality is: I can’t possibly sleep early, I’m not sleepy before midnight. I’m creative at night, so why change that? Besides, I can’t hear my alarm in the morning anyways. My alternative reality is: it is possible to sleep before mid night, it is possible to turn off all electronics by 10pm and I can get up before 7am every morning. :)
Wish me success!

What in your life would you like to change most? Alternatively, is there something of concern to you right now? What is that reality? What is a believable alternative reality? See you in the comments. Talk soon!

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75 Responses (57 Comments, 18 Trackbacks ):

Comments

Jonathan Mead

Jun 10 08, 4:46 pm PDT

1
I think celebrating your success is a crucial aspect of building new habits that most people overlook. The only caveat is to make sure you don’t reward yourself by doing the thing you want to stop (if you’re trying to stop something).

For example, if you’re trying to wake up early and successfully do so 5 days in a row, don’t reward yourself by sleeping in. Also, don’t reward yourself for not smoking for 2 days with a few drags of a cigarette. I know, I’ve tried this. It doesn’t work.
Sara

Jun 10 08, 5:10 pm PDT

2
Good luck on waking up early–I’m still working on that. Having an outside influence is a good way to get started. While it still comes down to personal commitment, having another person give you a kickstart (or, in the case of getting up early, just a kick) can help you get a running start on the new habit.

If that’s not possible, it’s important to change your external reality as much as your internal reality, like you mention. If you want to rise early, let the sunshine come pouring in. If you want to be more confident, surround yourself with the tools you need to feel good. If you want to learn to focus at work, create an environment that limits distractions.

I think your final tips are some of the keys to making change stick. After all, a big change also requires lots of little changes. Cheers to earlier mornings!
JEMi | Tips for Life, Love, You

Jun 10 08, 5:16 pm PDT

3
I currently wake up early to workout but I tell you what. It took focus to create that good habit in order to replace the bad one. Next thing I knew, I was getting up energized and ready to go. I couldn’t believe it. Inspired by that positive change, I am making others in my life and this is why I deeply appreciate this article and its timing. I find that developing my mental strength with positivity has become my biggest tool in making these profound and lasting changes. Well that and a good load of patience ( a virtue I can afford to spend time on lol)

Your tips on mutual support and be inspired are the two that I focus on right now because they’ve done astronomical things for me :)

Good luck on your positive changes Tina – beautiful piece!
Vered

Jun 10 08, 5:46 pm PDT

4
“What in your life would you like to change most? ”

My goal right now is to leave my computer and go upstairs no later than 9pm each night. My current reality: “but I still have so much to do!” My alternative reality: “I worked enough today. Work can wait until tomorrow. It is more important to spend time with my husband and get enough sleep”.

Last night was a success – we’ll see how tonight goes.

********************
REPLY

Hmm… that’s great Vered. I feel the same. Thanks for sharing.

Tina
Andrea Hess | Empowered Soul

Jun 10 08, 6:12 pm PDT

5
Great article, Tina! You’ve really outdone yourself!

One other thing I’d like to mention – we can’t bring in the new without creating some space for it by releasing the old. In order to create a new reality, I think it helps if we have awareness of the old reality and consciously release it. It’s easy to blame the “old” reality as being in our way. But the fact is that we created that reality, too. Because it is our creation, we are attached to it. For good reason – we created that reality in the first place because it served in some way. The old reality represents something that worked for us for a while. Maybe it was even a lifesaver in its own way. So, let’s thank our old reality for its excellent years of service and release it with gratitude.

This practice lessens our attachment to our current perceptions and assists us in consciously creating what we truly want right now.

I love that you stress that we create our own reality – so very true!!!

Blessings,
Andrea
Nathalie Lussier

Jun 10 08, 7:05 pm PDT

6
I can sometimes change habits, usually if I commit to it and let other people know about my intentions. I think writing things down helps a lot too! Personally I can wake up at 6am to go swimming, but if I’m not expected to go on a specific day I will not wake up. I think it also helps to set the intention the night before you go to bed.

Great post Tina. I am going to try changing my realities now.
Life Articles

Jun 10 08, 8:51 pm PDT

7
I agree it is very important to write our goals and aspirations. It maybe a financial goal or a goal to change our habits. Writing should be an essential part.
Alexandra

Jun 10 08, 9:55 pm PDT

8
Thanks for this post. It’s really helpful to be reminded of the power that our minds have over our reality.

http://www.simplyqueer.com
Sally

Jun 11 08, 1:32 am PDT

9
This is a timely post for me.

I have been reassessing many aspects of my life which I think comes naturally with age!

The thing that I want to change the most is my work. I keep coming up with excuses as to why I shouldn’t leave. The result being that what started out as a niggling little thought is now constantly on my mind.
For me, the challenge of change is one I am still working towards. I just need to stop making excuses and start being proactive.

Thanks for an insightful post.

Sally
Evelyn Lim | Attraction Mind Map

Jun 11 08, 1:43 am PDT

10
The me centered universe that you refer to very much arises from our ego. The ego that constantly needs to be fed, in order to sustain itself. Never satisfied, it is a state of always wanting. Unfortunately, true happiness cannot be derived from this state. You correctly point out that it is important to be able to recognise this, before change can happen.

Excellent article, Tina. Stumbled!
JD
Jun 11 08, 3:45 am PDT

11
I think the person who posted this has been reading Eckhart Tolle. Either way thanks for putting time and energy into helping people become better in whatever way they wish.
Maria - Never the Same River Twice

Jun 11 08, 5:07 am PDT

12
As a last step in the process (along with reward & celebration) I would add reflection and adjustment. In my experience, change is cyclical. You do a little bit of changing, take a pause, and do some more changing. If you never pause to do a little assessment and course correction, you could go down the wrong path.
Shun Jian | RichGrad.com

Jun 11 08, 5:15 am PDT

13
Another great post =)

Yes, too often, we forget that we have choices.

When we look outwards and say things like… “Because he/she did this to me, that’s why I got angry”, we’re giving our power away.

We have the choice to choose your response… to choose to become better… to overcome your limitations… What we choose in life is what we get.
Shilpan | successsoul.com

Jun 11 08, 6:08 am PDT

14
Tina,

These thoughts that you shared with us are invaluable. I agree that only a strong willpower cannot bring the change that we desire, it has to be accompanied by our way of thinking about ourselves and those whom we love to share our lives with. Interestingly, change happens every day, within us and around us. We have to learn to adapt to the change and develop flexibility to strive best of our human potential.

Shilpan
Tom Volkar / Delightful Work

Jun 11 08, 7:04 am PDT

15
Excellent article because of the many approaches you offer us. I do like the alternate reality approach because it causes us to stop and see what reality we are putting energy into. You’re right, the new reality we are in the midst of constructing needs to be somewhat plausible to us in order for us to invest ourselves in it.
Will is GALVANIZD

Jun 11 08, 8:02 am PDT

16
Hey Tina,

Very concise article. Having been a part of the men’s self improvement community, the saying, “It’s your reality. It is something that you ultimately determine”, chimes into your article.

Tying these mental models to affirmations/mantras certainly make for an even more empowering way to frame your life situation. One I use is, “Everyday steers me towards where I want to go, and who I want to become”

As for my former reality: “Accounting is boring and I’m probably the worst Accountant in the world”

The current reality that I’m implementing: “I can make anything fun… even Accounting! I am a great Accountant and even funnier one”
Nathalie Lussier

Jun 11 08, 9:15 am PDT

17
In an era when change in a everyday phenomenon one needs to be really good at managing it… this will certainly help
Amy
Jun 11 08, 10:29 am PDT

18
Thank you! Had recently lost my job and looking
for new journeys. Will start with Srikumar Rao’s book!

Again, thanks!
komodo dragon

Jun 11 08, 1:45 pm PDT

19
you write so many inspiring posts ! good for you, we could all use s good read.
Thomas Herold

Jun 11 08, 1:55 pm PDT

20
I think it is important to understand the fundamental principles of the mind and the consciousness that fuels it. With the discovery of quantum physics we are now able to understand what gurus and wise persons always said.

To get more information please download my free ebook: “The Principles of Successful Manifesting” here:
http://www.dreammanifesto.com/manifest

Cheers

Thomas Herold
CEO Dream Manifesto
http://www.dreammanifesto.com
etavitom

Jun 11 08, 3:50 pm PDT

21
Wow. Thanks so much for this profound post. I too believe that if we live in a desired state, or dream state, that will become our reality.

“The vision we glorify in our minds, the ideals we enthrone in our heart, the life we live by, this we will become.”
Michael Barnathan

Jun 11 08, 4:06 pm PDT

22
This is actually excellent advice for life planning, visionary leadership, and idea generation in general (probably because these things tend to be subconscious as well!)

I would take issue with only one of your points, however: you argue that we should embrace an “everyone else-centered” universe instead of a “me-centered” universe. I actually think it should be a “we-centered” universe – realize that your own goals are not antithetical to the greater good of society and you can go far.
Stephen
Jun 11 08, 5:40 pm PDT

23
> Focus on just one

In my reality, it’s possible to focus on more than one – and in fact it can be necessary to change multiple to be able to have the time and effort to change one.

You just have to have the right self-talk and mental coaches to do it.

Some deep rooted realities can take months to undo? Some take years. And for all but 1 in a million, you’ve got bad realities that will take you decades to find – and that presumes you’re looking.

As you say, most people don’t even consider that their reality is in their head, so-to-speak.
Barney
Jun 11 08, 9:10 pm PDT

24
The man who can hang on to pleasure hasn’t got much to learn.
Life help us and all those who seek truth, whether we like them or don’t like them, whether they like us or don’t like us.
What you need to know is very little.
rob

Jun 11 08, 10:55 pm PDT

25
i suppose youve all seen the blog/website zenhabits.net. its similar in idea to this site. Great article
Rob @tinman
Sören
Jun 12 08, 12:38 am PDT

26
Nice post, but could you elaborate the steps a bit more with examples? Thanks.
Poems

Jun 12 08, 6:18 am PDT

27
just subscribed and I am very impressed by your post, Tina. I Know nobody who dreams to change at least one aspect of his life.( behavior, habits, job and the like). This post is of great assistance for everyone who’s going to change something in him or his life and is unaware from what to start
Avani

Jun 12 08, 10:57 am PDT

28
I recently wrote an article on How to Become an Early Sleeper. Hopefully it helps.
John
Jun 12 08, 3:02 pm PDT

29
I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.
Tom Stine | Living from Consciousness

Jun 12 08, 5:08 pm PDT

30
Hi Tina,

Interesting that I would read this post today, as I’ve spent most of the day focused on how my subconscious beliefs are the causative factor in much of my life. I seem to be at a point where changing them is necessary and helpful. Your steps above are a direct way to do that. Nicely done. I will have to see how the above meshes with my processes.
Flora Morris Brown, Ph.D.

Jun 13 08, 1:21 pm PDT

31
Thanks for this timely post. Many points resonated with me. Right now the thing I want to improve most are my eating habits and fitness, not just for weight loss, but to reach for optimum health.

As I proceed with writing a book on reaching goals and making positive change titled Color Your Life Happy, my mental chatter (I call my inner critic Susie) has increased in volume and frequency. Even with the small first step of my fitness plan of taking a morning walk of at least 30 mins. Susie convinced me to sleep in late, or deterred me with it’s too late in the morning, the sun is out now and it’ll be too hot, etc. After several weeks of fighting with Susie, sometimes winning, sometimes not, I finally regained control.

I’ve been successful in sticking to my commitment for 4 consecutive mornings by telling myself that I will walk whenever I get up. Susie is still in the background, but I let her talk to herself. If I don’t walk early, or when all the cars are backing out of their garages going to work or school then I’ll walk in the sun.

It’s amazing how great it feels to keep your commitment to yourself. It’s the greatest uplift to your spirits and affirmation that you can make positive changes.
Bill Clark

Jun 13 08, 6:59 pm PDT

32
Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s one of your best posts ever and it really came to me at a good time.
Barbara L
Jun 14 08, 5:36 am PDT

33
re: changing the reality comment: check out Byron Katie’s ‘the Work’
John Hollandsworth

Jun 14 08, 8:33 am PDT

34
Hey Tina,
Just wanted to thank you for this introduction to Dr. Rao’s principles. This was actually very timely for me, in that I had been self-discovering some of this in my life but your article brought it into sharper focus. (shades of “when the student is ready…”) I’ve listened to Dr. Rao’s lecture on youtube twice now and two other interviews available elsewhere on the net to try and fully absorb his concepts. (His book is currently sold out on Amazon, I bet thanks to you!) Thanks again.
speakindoodles

Jun 14 08, 10:24 am PDT

35
Thanks for all these great tips. I’ll be certain to to use them and I’ll be back for more!
Alex Fayle

Jun 16 08, 11:42 am PDT

36
Thanks so much for this post! I’m currently working on learning to pay attention to details (very important if I ever want to get my novel published) so will be using this post as a basis for making that profound and lasting change.

I’ll also be blogging about the process over the next two weeks, so thanks as well for providing me with food for the blog!

Cheers,
Alex
Genesis Bible

Jun 19 08, 5:11 pm PDT

37
this is a very thoughtful and nice post! i agree you should be around those who are positive!
Daniel Edlen

Jun 20 08, 10:11 am PDT

38
It’s lies, all lies! “The Voice of Knowledge” by don Miguel Ruiz provides some great insight into that voice in our head and how to listen to others.

Seth Godin’s take on marketing has led to an internal mind-set shift from me-centered to you-centered. So generous and well-spoken/written.

“Change is nature” from Ratatouille, so you just need to choose. Even if you don’t choose, you choose, Godin likes to say. Choose how you want it.

Peace.
Coli

Jun 23 08, 12:24 am PDT

39
Why don’t you pay my link a visit and you will find interesting people who are so like you in many ways. I even invite you to join our community who help change the world in our own little ways.
Andrew Scotchmer

Jun 26 08, 4:43 am PDT

40
Great post and something I’ve believed in for a long time. That is, you have to first believe a better life is possible if you want to live a better life.

When we think about what we want from the future and constantly focus on that goal, working towards that goal will become a habit and a part of our daily lives. Even without us being conscious of it, our desire for a better life will affect our thoughts, our body language and the choices we make.

Keep up the great posts and what a great site (I only found you today).
Eugene Williams | Power of Motivation BLOG

Jun 29 08, 11:44 am PDT

41
This post is truly profound!

These points will really help to achieve positive changes and making our life much better and more satisfying.

Thanks for sharing.
kannan viswagandhi

Jul 01 08, 2:53 pm PDT

42
Hi Tina,

Excellent Article.
Alternate Reality is a good suggestion.
Right now,my reality is : I can’t possibly get a fulltime job and suffering in beach.
Alternate Reality:
I will get a fulltime job asap and settle down peacefully with my family being with me all the time.

Thanks for sharing.

Best Wishes,
Kannan Viswagandhi
http://www.growing-self.blogspot.com
Chris

Jul 02 08, 5:06 am PDT

43
This comment is in response to the graphic at the top with the “You Are Beautiful” sign. I wanted to mention that this message has been adopted by an art collective in Chicago and has been posted as billboards, stickers and signs throughout the country.

It is always nice to have a little reminder.

Have a look at their project & pick up some stickers of your own:
http://www.you-are-beautiful.com/
Oliver
Jul 10 08, 9:36 am PDT

44
Look, i had 105 article to process in my rss feeds, and this one was the first one.

Let me tell you that i stopped everything i was doing, music, and focused… THANK YOU!

Now is the time to work on the reality that i want!
J.D. Meier

Aug 22 08, 6:22 pm PDT

45
The most surprising thing I learned about lasting change is that you have to make it “feel good.” If you reduce friction and find a way to feel good, it’s sustainable.
FreeTheMind
Nov 01 08, 1:38 pm PDT

46
Thanks for the Secret video. Continue the great value you are adding to this world.
Nicholas Powiull

Nov 02 08, 7:08 am PDT

47
I would say that all the wonderful ideas you mentioned can be twisted and narrowed down to this:

Definitions we give to things are tremendously important. In fact, they are so vastly significant that it is one of the top secrets of the universe! When you change your thoughts, beliefs, definitions, perspectives, expectations or your imagination/visualization, then you change your experience.

But it is good that you spoke about all the twists and explanations fully because it hard to see unless it is explained fully through these creative ideas! You can NOT say it is all: your thoughts, beliefs, definitions, perspectives, expectations, imagination/visualization. Most would not understand. So thank you for your clever ideas Tina! :)

You truly are an inspiration and beacon of light!
Ivy
Feb 15 09, 12:29 am PDT

48
Thank you so much for this article. It led me to Prof. Rao’s talk which resonated strongly with me. Although I have a good job and have just started a great relationship, I continue to be plagued by insecurities – that I wasn’t working up to my potential, that I was not driven enough, that I wasn’t contributing, that I wasn’t growing… Just last week I had poured out a “poor me” e-mail that essentially declared that if I could change what I was doing I’d be happy, finally.

Of course, I also knew it was not true, as that’s the pattern I have repeated 4 or 5 times now, and while the beginnings after the change are always good, I fall back into my old ways. It was Prof. Rao’s talk which opened my eyes to the pitfalls I’d laid out for myself.

I’ve been looking for a way to get myself out of this unproductive cycle and for the first time I feel positive. This approach is close to my own Buddhist-based philosophies and fits what I’ve been going through recently. Thank you again.
TheMethod.tv

Mar 06 09, 11:05 am PDT

49
Send us an email to info@themethod.tv and we will let you know when THE METHOD (a motion picture based on Dr. Srikumar Rao’s work) becomes available.

The Method team.
Amit

Apr 06 09, 2:04 am PDT

50
I think change is almost everywhere now. The economy is forcing us to change the way we look, eat, sleep or maybe survive. Thanks for your thought provoking article.
Liz

Jun 26 09, 3:15 pm PDT

51
Very insightful and encouraging article Zara. Great work. You have shown has some great ways to make lasting change given us renewed hope. Thank you
Oleg Mokhov

Oct 19 09, 7:55 am PDT

52
Hey Tina,

Live in the now and you can enjoy life to its fullest potential.

Living in a me-centered universe filled with mental models is like living in a Matrix. You’re absorbed in pre-determined rules, and when they aren’t fulfilled (often), you’re not happy.

People should be this way! The best type of weather is this kind! Well, people are diverse, and they’ll live how they live despite what you’d want them to do. And no one has come up with a way to control weather… yet.

So then what? Are you going to get upset every time people live differently, or the weather isn’t how you want it to be? You’re going to be upset quite often.

By giving up control of those things (eliminating mental models), you roll with the punches. Whatever life throws at you, you find a way to work with it. Rather than expecting the world to cater to you, you exist in the world itself, whatever form it might be on a given day.

You stop expecting, and start experiencing. Any type of person or weather can become great, and you can’t get upset about them not fitting in a mental model, since you don’t have them anymore.

You live life to the fullest, filled to the brim with happiness.

Great article about breaking out of the Matrix and really living life,
Oleg
Website Designer in Middlesbrough

Oct 19 10, 2:28 am PDT

53
I absolutely adore reading your articles, the fashion of writing is outstanding.This post as usual was informative, I have had to bookmark your website and subscribe to your feed in feedmaker. Your blog looks fantastic.
nee
Feb 02 11, 10:58 pm PDT

54
love this article..i needed this
Sarah
Nov 09 11, 6:51 pm PDT

55
Hey,

That was a really good post. The alternate reality section really resonated with a quote I used to say to myself in the past. I can’t remember it exactly or who it was by (anyone knows feel free to let me know) it says in order to achieve something you have to believe it is possible. I realised I was trying to achieve things that I believed weren’t even possible which of course lead to a lot of heartache and frustration and wasted time so I concentrated on my beliefs and good changes happened. I think I got out of this habit though. Thank you for reminding me and explaining it so quickly and clearly.

Sarah.
apes
Dec 17 11, 6:17 am PDT

56
This was a great post and all the comments it initiated were also helpful to me. At a time where I’m making profound change in my life I keep having to search for what works best for me, which in of itself constantly changes. This is helpful and I am making steps toward a much more aggregated “we centered” universe. very well written, thank you.
Kumar Bangalore
Mar 07 12, 9:05 am PDT

57
Very good article. I am trying to wake up early in the morning. Now going to sleep early. I will wake up with new goals and aspirations of tomorrow.
Thank you.

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