The Gifts of Being Vulnerable
Photo by Hannes CasparGuest Story By Kaci Metzger
“The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keep out the joy.” ~Jim Rohn
Not too long ago, I found myself sitting around with a group of friends playing the One-Word game—a game where each person uses one word to honestly describe another person in the group. Everyone goes around until they have been “worded” by everyone else.
It’s fun and exciting until you get labeled as something you don’t necessarily identify as positive. The word that kept coming up for me: Guarded.
I got it. It made sense. I have a difficult time opening myself up to people.
Couples Counseling – 6 Truths
Photo by Cari Ann WaymanBy Kate Swoboda
I’ve seen it happen so many times: In casual conversation, without really thinking about it, I start a sentence off with, “Our couples counselor…” and I’m startled when I see the eyebrows raise.
Amid what has become my utterly ordinary reality–we see a couples counselor–I forget myself. I forget that for most people, working with a couples counselor is the sort of thing you’d only reveal to intimate friends and family (and perhaps not even then).
But this is my truth: my partner of seven-plus years and I work with a couples counselor, and have done so since about the two-year mark of our relationship.
Understanding Money & Abundance
Photo by Eduardo IzquierdoBy Kayla Albert
“Prosperity depends more on
wanting what you have than having what you want.”
~ Geoffrey F. AbertAny sense of physical security I have felt from the time that I was 18 onward, has, for the most part, been a direct reflection of how much I have in my bank account. It’s always an arbitrary number that I shoot for, an amount that I believe will completely cover anything unexpected with plenty of room left over.
However, for a money hoarder like me, this sense of security is always superficial and never long lasting. It’s leaning heavily on something physical to mask a festering internal issue.
Much like one might inherit a certain eye or hair color, I believe that my money issues are ingrained in my family line, spanning through generations of outwardly negative spending habits to equally damaging behaviors like my own.
Finding the Perfect Job
Photo by Alex StoddardToday I received an email from a man named Nick (not his real name) who wants help finding a job. He has two different resumes, one for his “business life” and one for his “adventure life”.
As I browsed through his resumes, his many accomplishments stood out. So I began to wonder why Nick needed my help to find a job? He certainly has his pick of fields from which to choose.
Then it dawned on me. If Nick was a carpenter and only a carpenter, he would search for carpenter jobs. Easy. But, since he is an adventurer as well as a business man with many accomplishments in various fields, the issue really was finding the direction, not finding the job.
Path to Simplicity
Photo by Hannes CasparGuest Post By Tom Atkins
“The simplest things are often the truest.”
~Richard BachSeveral years ago I went through an unwanted divorce. I felt I was losing so much that was important to me – my marriage, the daily presence of my children, my friends in that former couples-oriented world.
I moved from the large 1700’s farm house I had been restoring for the past 15 years into a very small apartment. More than half the possessions I had accumulated during my life wouldn’t fit, and had to go.
And part of my identity went with them. The part that had been a “husband” was suddenly gone.
How to Stop Gossiping
Photo by Satu Knape“It is one of my sources of happiness never to
desire a knowledge of other people’s business.” ~Dolley MadisonA few months ago I was speaking to my husband about a friend of ours who had made a purchase we thought was misguided. We spoke at great length, giving our opinion on why we thought it was a bad decision and questioning his judgment.
I remember feeling a little uncomfortable and a bit sad afterward. I felt upset, but I couldn’t quite figure out why.
A day or two later, my 30 Day Challenge group posed its usual question: What’s your challenge for next month? Immediately my heart said, Stop gossiping.
I balked at this; I got a little defensive even. I didn’t gossip! That was the kind of thing reserved for petty high school girls with nothing better to do. That wasn’t me. That’s not a real challenge.
How to Find Your Unique Strength
Photo by Hannes CasparBy Kate Carpenter
“We grow primarily through our challenges,
especially those life-changing moments
when we begin to recognize aspects of our nature
that make us different from the family
and culture in which we have been raised.”
~ Caroline MyssWhen Oprah Winfrey interviewed Jane Fonda for The Oprah Magazine, these two amazing women touched briefly on the subject of caring about what others think of them.
Oprah: I’ve read that, like me, you’ve always struggled with the disease to please.
Jane: I used to walk into a party and think, Oh, my God, will I be interesting enough? Will people like me? Will I be pretty enough? Do I fit in? Now I go into a room and think, do I really want to be here? Are these people I want to spend a few hours with? It’s a big shift.
Oprah: How did you make the shift?
Jane: Hard work. Growing up.
Jane didn’t elaborate on her answer, and I’m not qualified to speak for her. But I think we can all relate to how she used to feel.
New Year Resolutions: Look Within
Photo by Eduardo IzquierdoI’m thinking about 2013.
… and have no goals. This is a radical declaration for me.
Historically, I spend a few days in December reflecting on the past year and envisioning the New Year. I would carefully organize my goals into categories of personal growth, finances, career, family, wellness, travel, and refine to ensure each one is specific, measurable and timely. I assess the goal like a test tube subject to be sure that it has all the appropriate elements of a ‘great goal.’
After circulating my Official New Year’s Goal Document to my BFF and husband as accountability allies, I move onto a vision board with inspiring words, favorite quotes, dreamy magazine cutouts.
I take goal setting very seriously.
Love Yourself: The 90/10 Principle
Photo by Natalie DybiszGuest Post By Kirsten Long
“Loving oneself is different from being arrogant, conceited or egocentric.
Loving oneself means caring about oneself,
taking responsibility for oneself,
respecting oneself, and knowing oneself.”
~Erich FrommI was going through a bad patch a while back. My self-esteem hit rock bottom, and nothing I did seemed to work. My relationships were a mess and my work was faltering. I felt unhappy and unsure of myself.
I have often wondered if The Mid-Life Crisis was smacking me. In retrospect, I think it was. And it was a good thing too, because I needed to change my ways a little.
Fortunately, my friends were there for me. While having coffee one day, a friend of mine lectured me, as good friends do when they’re tired of seeing you miserable.
She said “You’ve gotta love yourself before anyone else will love you”. Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard that all before, I thought.
The Art of Boasting
Photo by JUCOBy Kayla Albert
“A man can not be comfortable without his own approval.”
~Mark TwainPiling into her lavender Honda with her white terrier scrambling over us in the back seat, my grandmother would turn down the stories on tape my sister and I listened to religiously and tell us that it was time to boast.
What followed was usually always the same; we would squirm uncomfortably in our seats, hoping that we could somehow quickly change the subject.
But my grandma has always been an incredibly persistent woman, so we would reluctantly appease her request.
