Photo by Cindy Loughridge
Do you remember the last time you were deeply touched by someone? Sometimes, it is the little gestures that touch us most.
Here’s to Old Friends
It was my dear friend Tania’s birthday over the weekend. Tania was my college roommate of 4 years, someone who I’ve always admired for her grace and kindness. When we graduated, we both moved to Seattle. As we continued into new chapters of our lives as adults, we saw less and less of one another. Over the years, we’ve settled into a comfortable routine of seeing each other twice a year: on my birthday and her birthday *smiles*.
Near the end of her party, she had pulled me aside. After giving me various feedback regarding my blog, she looked deep into my eyes, paused slightly and said genuinely,
“You are amazing. Even if you didn’t have the blog, I would still be so proud of you in so many ways… like that time you imitated (our friend) Tim after his conductor class, how your energy just shined. You know, I will always be here to be your cheerleader… regardless of what you worked on. I have so much faith in you. Just always know that.”
I stood there, stunned, and trying hard to hold back my tears. I smiled back at her with sincere gratitude.
“Wow! What a gift!” I thought.
Instead of going to a party as a gift giver, I came home as the ultimate gift receiver.
The Best Gift of All
It became clear to me that one of the best gifts we can give someone is appreciation and an open communication to express that appreciation. It took her two minutes of connecting with me and I was shaken-up for days. I felt more energetic, more positive and unusually calm.
Sometimes, it’s the ones closest to us who we take for granted, unintentionally of course. Ironically, those closest are also the people whom we love most. When our lives become hectic from chasing after one task to the next, it is really easy to miss the simple gifts we are graced with everyday.
What Can You Do?
Try this on someone over the next week. It will be one of the most precious and rewarding gifts you can give someone. Trust me.
- Take 5-10 minutes of uninterrupted time out of your day. Find a spot with a pen and paper.
- Pick a person you love or care for.
- (Optional) listen to some soothing music.
- Close your eyes and think of all the good times you’ve shared with this person. Think of times where this person has helped you or given you priceless gifts of love and friendship. Conversations you’ve had, or memories you’ve shared together.
- Think of qualities that you admire and appreciate about this person. Imagine specific scenarios of this person expressing that quality.
- Start writing down some of these ideas, memories, admired qualities and specific examples.
- Find a few moments to connect with this person (you two don’t have to be alone or even sitting down).
- Before telling them, send out the intention that you want to let this person know how amazing they are and how much you genuinely appreciate them. Start speaking with this frame of mind, and this intention will be clearly shown in the way you speak.
- Tell them how amazing they are, and why you think they are amazing. Talk about all the things you admire about them or have learned from them. Make sure to use specific examples.
- Tell them you are proud of them and will always be here for them. (of course, only if you feel it)
- Thank them for being part of your life.
- The key here is to be genuine. If you don’t feel it, please don’t say it, it’ll be clear to the receiver exactly how you feel. Don’t memorize. The writing down step was meant to help you collect your thoughts. Please do not read from it. :) Express yourself naturally.
How do you express appreciation to those special people in your life? How did you feel when you told them? If you felt all warm and fuzzy inside, perhaps you might consider making a small list of people and repeat the process with them. People on my list: Adam, Mom, my Step Dad, my friend Daniel.
Who are you thinking of practicing this on? Have you had similar stories? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments. See you there. :)
Other Articles You May Like:
- How to Build Intimacy in Any Relationship
- A Guide to Happiness via Self Forgiveness
- Attitude of Gratitude: 5 Tools for Appreciation
- How to Really Listen to Someone
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