Comments on: How to End a Relationship http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/ Creativity, Clarity & Happiness Wed, 08 Feb 2012 21:43:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Kim http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-141343 Kim Wed, 25 Jan 2012 23:41:50 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-141343 I came across this post while I was looking for something that would put in words what I am feeling and thinking. A significant relationship is ending and I have been struggling with guilt and the feeling that I have failed in this connection with another person, that I care about. And then I read this post - and it struck me like lightning. I didn't fail. I know that people come into your life for all sorts of reasons - perhaps they are there for a season, or they are there for a reason....or they are there for a lifetime. Why they enter and why they leave isn't really known all the time, not right away anyway....but it's trusting that it was supposed to happen that matters. You were supposed to learn something - and feeling guilty about the end minimizes what that relationship was supposed to bring into your life, and into theirs. So I thank you for this 'aha' moment. I took bits of this blog and put it in my gratitude journal to think and reflect on - and everytime I read it, I'll be grateful I wandered across this post :) I came across this post while I was looking for something that would put in words what I am feeling and thinking. A significant relationship is ending and I have been struggling with guilt and the feeling that I have failed in this connection with another person, that I care about.

And then I read this post – and it struck me like lightning. I didn’t fail. I know that people come into your life for all sorts of reasons – perhaps they are there for a season, or they are there for a reason….or they are there for a lifetime. Why they enter and why they leave isn’t really known all the time, not right away anyway….but it’s trusting that it was supposed to happen that matters. You were supposed to learn something – and feeling guilty about the end minimizes what that relationship was supposed to bring into your life, and into theirs.

So I thank you for this ‘aha’ moment. I took bits of this blog and put it in my gratitude journal to think and reflect on – and everytime I read it, I’ll be grateful I wandered across this post :)

]]> By: will http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-140877 will Tue, 17 Jan 2012 13:50:31 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-140877 This seems like terrible advise for men but perhaps all this works for women I won;t be agonizing as much as suggested. thanks anyway. This seems like terrible advise for men but perhaps all this works for women I won;t be agonizing as much as suggested.

thanks anyway.

]]> By: Kiroro http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-139293 Kiroro Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:42:53 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-139293 Hi Tina, Thanks for the article. I have walked out of a relationship ones when i discovered my girl friend was sleeping around. My mistake then was that i did not confront her about it, I just left. I'm not regreting leaving her but i should have handle the situation matuerly then. Hi Tina,
Thanks for the article. I have walked out of a relationship ones when i discovered my girl friend was sleeping around. My mistake then was that i did not confront her about it, I just left. I’m not regreting leaving her but i should have handle the situation matuerly then.

]]> By: Witty http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-136781 Witty Sun, 25 Dec 2011 15:07:55 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-136781 I was recently broke up with and I wish we had read this! We were only for about a month but she decided to tell me via email.... Didn't end end well. wasn't my finest hour. :) Thanks for this article. Break ups are tough even for short lived romances. Its the rejection, i guess. I was recently broke up with and I wish we had read this! We were only for about a month but she decided to tell me via email…. Didn’t end end well. wasn’t my finest hour. :) Thanks for this article. Break ups are tough even for short lived romances. Its the rejection, i guess.

]]> By: Hanna http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-134909 Hanna Thu, 15 Dec 2011 13:00:10 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-134909 I found this very helpful for the current situations I am in. I want to break up with a man that i have only dated for about a month. My reasons as follows: This man was married and been divorced. Its been 3 years. He approached me saying he wants to marry me on the first date:-) Although this sounded strange I could also see his genuineness so decided to give him a chance and date him. His got 5 kids. 2 during his previous marriage and 2 out side the marriage from 2 other women. At first I was under the impression that the 2 kids his got were before his marriage but it turns out to be he got them while still married. This means he was cheating his wife and could be the main reasons why he wanted to divorce him. Ever since I found out that I don't t think his my cup of tea and want to end and move on. But this man is a good mad and would like to do it properly so that i can still maintain the friendship. This is mainly because I might need his circle of influence for business and want to leave the door open to use it when i need it. I have met his kids and his family already and things were getting serious. Now how do i do this? do I tell him my main reasons? I am afraid if his capable of cheating to the extent of having 2 kids while still married when they had difficulties it might not be a good sign for me and it would be naive to think he will not do the same under the similar situations. How do I do this? I found this very helpful for the current situations I am in. I want to break up with a man that i have only dated for about a month. My reasons as follows:

This man was married and been divorced. Its been 3 years. He approached me saying he wants to marry me on the first date:-) Although this sounded strange I could also see his genuineness so decided to give him a chance and date him. His got 5 kids. 2 during his previous marriage and 2 out side the marriage from 2 other women. At first I was under the impression that the 2 kids his got were before his marriage but it turns out to be he got them while still married. This means he was cheating his wife and could be the main reasons why he wanted to divorce him. Ever since I found out that I don’t t think his my cup of tea and want to end and move on. But this man is a good mad and would like to do it properly so that i can still maintain the friendship. This is mainly because I might need his circle of influence for business and want to leave the door open to use it when i need it. I have met his kids and his family already and things were getting serious. Now how do i do this? do I tell him my main reasons? I am afraid if his capable of cheating to the extent of having 2 kids while still married when they had difficulties it might not be a good sign for me and it would be naive to think he will not do the same under the similar situations. How do I do this?

]]> By: Laura http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-134862 Laura Wed, 14 Dec 2011 22:24:01 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-134862 Hi Aimee ~ It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. You show your courage by your post here. Perhaps it's time for you to sit down and think about what you want, not only out of a relationship, but out of life. Time is our most precious, and limited, commodity. No religious belief, family member, loved one or friend wants you to spend that life, your valuable limited time, unhappy. If you don't currently journal, take time to go and pick out one that is just for the purpose of mapping out your future. Make a list of all that you want in this life, no matter how big or how small. List how having these things would make you feel. Write down how your happiness might impact your daughter, and her future. It's like the Lewis Carroll quote from "Through the Looking Glass" ~ If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there. Your life belongs to you. As a parent, you are responsible for your daughter, seeing that she is fed, clothing, educated and protected. You are NOT responsible for caring for this man as you are responsible for caring for your child. You are responsible for your own happiness. This man is responsible for his own happiness. If your budget allows, find someone you trust to talk to in person. It's understandable to feel like you are stuck, to say, "I Don't Know What To Do!". You've created momentum for yourself simply by posting here. This thread has a great treasure of experience from which to draw, knowledge to absorb. Check out the website I've posted, led by Chicago psychiatrist Dr. Paul Dobransky. ...and work on your list. Determine what you want first, then you can start working on how to get what you want. All the best to you ~ L Hi Aimee ~
It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. You show your courage by your post here.
Perhaps it’s time for you to sit down and think about what you want, not only out of a relationship, but out of life.
Time is our most precious, and limited, commodity. No religious belief, family member, loved one or friend wants you to spend that life, your valuable limited time, unhappy.
If you don’t currently journal, take time to go and pick out one that is just for the purpose of mapping out your future.
Make a list of all that you want in this life, no matter how big or how small. List how having these things would make you feel. Write down how your happiness might impact your daughter, and her future.
It’s like the Lewis Carroll quote from “Through the Looking Glass” ~ If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.
Your life belongs to you. As a parent, you are responsible for your daughter, seeing that she is fed, clothing, educated and protected.
You are NOT responsible for caring for this man as you are responsible for caring for your child.
You are responsible for your own happiness.
This man is responsible for his own happiness.
If your budget allows, find someone you trust to talk to in person.
It’s understandable to feel like you are stuck, to say, “I Don’t Know What To Do!”.
You’ve created momentum for yourself simply by posting here.
This thread has a great treasure of experience from which to draw, knowledge to absorb.
Check out the website I’ve posted, led by Chicago psychiatrist Dr. Paul Dobransky.
…and work on your list.
Determine what you want first, then you can start working on how to get what you want.
All the best to you ~ L

]]> By: Aimee http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-134779 Aimee Tue, 13 Dec 2011 15:47:09 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-134779 Hi I was wondering if I could get your thoughts on a particular situation I am going through. I am having a bit of difficulty finding appropriate sources of information to help me make my decision. I have been with my partner for over 5 years now and I love him very much. But throughout our whole relationship it has been problem after problem. Whether it be financial of friend and family related it never seems to get any better. Recently things have gotten a whole lot worse and I constantly find myself thinking that I am miserable and I don't want to do this anymore. I just seem to fix his problems constantly. Now don't get me wrong, I do love him very. very much. But here are the reasons I haven't left so far. We have just had a baby daughter together and he loves her so much and he is a great dad to her. He has 2 other children and the mother left him and took the kids. I don't know if I would be able to do that to him again. As I would feel responsible for causing him so much pain and I don't want to take his daughter away. And lastly, there have definately been good times. But I just find myself thinking should a relationship really be this hard. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!! HELP!!! Please, I really need some advice and some fresh perspective. I can't keep wondering like this for much longer. The article was great to, but it also raises alot more questions for me!!! Thanks for caring enough about other people to write it! From Aimee Hi

I was wondering if I could get your thoughts on a particular situation I am going through.
I am having a bit of difficulty finding appropriate sources of information to help me make my decision.
I have been with my partner for over 5 years now and I love him very much. But throughout our whole relationship it has been problem after problem. Whether it be financial of friend and family related it never seems to get any better.
Recently things have gotten a whole lot worse and I constantly find myself thinking that I am miserable and I don’t want to do this anymore. I just seem to fix his problems constantly.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do love him very. very much. But here are the reasons I haven’t left so far.
We have just had a baby daughter together and he loves her so much and he is a great dad to her.
He has 2 other children and the mother left him and took the kids. I don’t know if I would be able to do that to him again. As I would feel responsible for causing him so much pain and I don’t want to take his daughter away.
And lastly, there have definately been good times. But I just find myself thinking should a relationship really be this hard.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
HELP!!!
Please, I really need some advice and some fresh perspective. I can’t keep wondering like this for much longer.
The article was great to, but it also raises alot more questions for me!!!

Thanks for caring enough about other people to write it!

From Aimee

]]> By: Rebecca http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-134449 Rebecca Fri, 09 Dec 2011 07:22:33 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-134449 I only know what I would have done if I could go back in time and relive the pain that I've had to go through because of a bad breakup. So many times in my life, there have been opportunities in front of me that I missed (a nice guy, a hobby, a chance to go back to school) because of my pain. If I had taken advantages of those opportunities, I would have given my life new purpose and cut the time of pain into a half. In fact, looking back all I can see is wasted opportunity, without actually remembering the pain itself. I only know what I would have done if I could go back in time and relive the pain that I’ve had to go through because of a bad breakup. So many times in my life, there have been opportunities in front of me that I missed (a nice guy, a hobby, a chance to go back to school) because of my pain. If I had taken advantages of those opportunities, I would have given my life new purpose and cut the time of pain into a half. In fact, looking back all I can see is wasted opportunity, without actually remembering the pain itself.

]]> By: Alana Pettigrew http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-134005 Alana Pettigrew Sun, 04 Dec 2011 03:24:56 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-134005 I have a friend and who used to be my co worker for a long time ago and i worked with GBST for 13 weeks and now i left there because of one man that i really can not really trust and he just really wants to end my career in dancing and he really thinks that i am not really good of handling supporting dancing companies and he really broke my heart and now i need to do a new start in my career and in my life I have a friend and who used to be my co worker for a long time ago
and i worked with GBST for 13 weeks and now i left there because of one man that i really can not really trust and he just really wants to end my career in dancing and he really thinks that i am not really good of handling supporting dancing companies and he really broke my heart
and now i need to do a new start in my career and in my life

]]> By: Tina http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/comment-page-5/#comment-133824 Tina Thu, 01 Dec 2011 22:15:15 +0000 http://thinksimplenow.com/relationships/how-to-end-a-relationship/#comment-133824 Thank you so much for this arcticle! I have been in a marriage with the person that is not right for me. I've been thinking about ending it for months but couldn't get the courage to do it. I feel so guilty and sad about the whole thing. But I'm just miserable all the way around the longer I stay in this relationship. The only good thoughts I've had is when I think of myself on my own again. I'm still scared to end this relationship but this article has armed me with the right tools to do it. I know it is going to be really hard, but I also know that I'm wasting our time by staying. Uuuuggghh! This is gonna suck! But thanks again for sharing your experiences and knowledge with us! You've given me the push that I needed to move on with my life towards happiness. I'm tired of being miserable. Thank you! Thank you so much for this arcticle! I have been in a marriage with the person that is not right for me. I’ve been thinking about ending it for months but couldn’t get the courage to do it. I feel so guilty and sad about the whole thing. But I’m just miserable all the way around the longer I stay in this relationship. The only good thoughts I’ve had is when I think of myself on my own again. I’m still scared to end this relationship but this article has armed me with the right tools to do it. I know it is going to be really hard, but I also know that I’m wasting our time by staying. Uuuuggghh! This is gonna suck!
But thanks again for sharing your experiences and knowledge with us! You’ve given me the push that I needed to move on with my life towards happiness. I’m tired of being miserable. Thank you!

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