Think Simple Now — a moment of clarity

What should I do with my life? Click here.

How to Get Over a Break Up

Falling passionately in love with someone is one of the most exhilarating feelings, as if you had wings and you are flying high in the sky, feeling the wind romantically blowing through your hair. And usually, when love ends, it feels as if you’ve been dropped like a rock in mid-air. You scramble to grab a hold of something … anything, as you witness your body falling at great speeds, and then shattering on the earth below.

Whether we’re talking about breakups, or facing the reality of a one-sided romance, it is painful. So much so that it disrupts our normal flow of experiences, causing us to not function normally.

With so much emotion invested and our identities tied in with these experiences, it’s no wonder that this is the number one topic requested by readers. Over the past year, I have regularly received email from readers sharing their own takes on painful breakups; tales of guilt, of fear, of regret, and of resentment. Although the stories were different, the underlying message was universal and one in the same, “I am in so much pain from not being with this person – what can I do?

Sometimes, the pain of lost love is so intense that it can shake our beliefs about romance and relationships. When these emotional bruises are not understood and have not healed properly, they become invisible baggage that drag with us into the next relationship. This article focuses on the healing process from “love lost”.

Personal Story: The Gift of “Love Lost”

I categorize myself as a very passionate and emotional person. I cry easily at movies and at the sight of passers-by with physical disabilities. When I love, I give it my all, and when it ends, the pain of feeling abandoned can become overwhelmingly and cripplingly intense.

In fact, my journey into personal growth began when I was confronted by a painful breakup five years ago. Out of despair, I had picked up a copy of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People – the only personal development book I had heard of, at the time. Although I would recommend a different book now for similar circumstances, at the time, this book introduced me to new concepts that helped me make sense of my emotions, and I was hungry for more.

Over the next few years, it was through dealing with recurring relationship issues that I experienced several rewarding revelations and was able to trigger several major growth spurts in my own self-improvement. While these emotionally-infused episodes of “love lost” might have seemed unbearably painful at the time of happening, they were also the catalyst for personal growth, and played a critical role in my becoming a more wholesome and complete person.

The Origins of Love and Pain

Before diving into the practical how-to of healing, let’s first look at what love is, where it comes from, and why we experience so much pain when it ends.

breakup1.jpg
Photo: melissa

I believe that love is a universal energy infused in all forms of life. It is something that lies within the core of every one of us. When we are in a state of conscious awareness, the intense feeling of love and connectedness is clear and undeniable. When we are in this state of clarity and inner peace, our thoughts and actions are based in love and truth.

Within the depths of our souls, we are all connected by this unifying and essential energy of life – love. We occasionally experience glimpses of this deep connection through various and accidental happenstances, such as:

  • A gratifying and intimate conversation with another person. Sharing and expressing your thoughts honestly and openly.
  • Creative expressions such as playing music, writing, drawing, dancing, cooking, designing or even computer programming.
  • Meditation, prayers or communing with your chosen religious group.
  • Communing with nature during a hike, a walk or while sitting by the bed of a river flowing beautifully in front of you.
  • During sexual orgasm (The Dalai Lama has written about this.)

When we fall in love with another person, we are essentially experiencing the love that was within us all along. The person is merely acting like a mirror reflecting our soul back at us. Technically, we can’t “fall” in love, because we are already made of love. The other person, much like a musical instrument, is the catalyst allowing us to recognize the beauty that’s already within us.

Because of our lack of understanding that love resides within us, and that we actually have the power to invoke it on our own, we credit it to the other person for giving love to us. This feeling is so strong and extraordinary, that we become addictive and possessive. We want to capture it and keep it fixed, so that we can – at last – keep this heightened feeling forever.

The desire and dependency to keep this form fixed, becomes a source of self identification that artificially justifies who we are as physical beings. We become attached to the fixed idea of how our relationship should go and our ego quickly becomes the main investor in this fund of a relationship.

The truth is that, everyone and everything is in a constant flow of change. The changes in us and in our external circumstances are inevitable and undeniable. When we change, the dynamics of our relationships change – not just romantic ones, but also friendships, family ties, and our relationships with co-workers.

Over time, some relationships strengthen and some grow apart. When people grow apart, it doesn’t mean that either one of them was a bad person, but rather that they’ve learned all that they needed to from the other person, and that it’s time to move on.

When it’s time to move on, we hold onto this invisible box that contains an idealized and fixated form of how things should be. We unconsciously and instinctively fall into the false believe that we must stop the love when we are no longer romantically involved.

Because we attribute love as being ‘to’ this other person external to us, pain happens when we forcefully try to kill the love, which is actually within us.

Let’s repeat: Pain happens when we forcefully kill the love that’s within us.

When we forcefully try to kill the love within us, it physically feels as if someone has stabbed a knife into our heart, and a sharp pain surfaces in our chest area. In reality, we are that someone doing the stabbing, because we are trying to sever our innate connection to love and our Soul is now bleeding. Our Soul is crying for help, asking us to stop the stabbing, to stop the pain.

A Love Affair & Emotional Freedom

When it comes to love,
you need not fall but rather surrender,
surrender to the idea that you must love yourself
before you can love another.
You must absolutely trust yourself
before you can absolutely trust another
and most importantly you must accept your flaws
before you can accept the flaws of another.

~ Philosophy: Falling in Love
My preferred suggestion to healing from love lost is the same as the one for finding love: to love yourself, first.

In previous relationships, we probably depended on our partners to make us happy, to make us feel special, to make us whole and complete. Our self-worth may have been wrapped up in how much attention our partner gave us. This is a ‘lose-lose’ formula that works against our personal happiness, because it relies heavily on external circumstances beyond our control and is not sustainable in the long term.

Truth is, nothing external to us can give us the security we need. Only we can give that to ourselves, by loving and accepting ourselves completely.

By learning to love and appreciate ourselves, not only do we free ourselves from the chains that keep us in pain when a relationship ends, it also makes us more attractive to the outside world. Even when you don’t explicitly speak about it, something in the grace of your movement will spread that message to others, like a summer breeze softly blowing the scent of a flower to neighboring plants.

7 Tips Getting Over a Break Up

breakup3.jpg
Photo: Nathiya Prathnadi

1. Letting Go

What would you do if your house was burnt to the ground, and everything you owned was destroyed? I’m sure you’d be frustrated and angry at first, but at the same time, no amount of anger will undo what has been done. It is what it is. Your best bet is to begin moving on, and working towards creating a new home.

Similarly, when a relationship ends, you’ll want to practice letting go and allowing the healing process to begin quickly.

If you were on the receiving end of a breakup, do not dwell on whether the person will come back or not, if they broke up with you at one point, chances are, something is wrong with the fit of your partnership, and you’ll be better appreciated elsewhere, with someone else. Even if you and the ex get back together, it is unlikely to last (from my experience).

Trust that everything in the Universe happens for a reason, and it benefits everyone involved in the long run, even if the benefits are not yet clear. Trust that this is the best possible thing to happen to you right now, and the reasons will become clear in the future.

2. Release Tension and Bundled Up Energy

We all have the need to be understood and heard. Whether we’re on the receiving end or the initiating end of a breakup, we often carry with us the tension and any unexpressed emotions. We can release this extra energy by:

  • Talking about it with a friend.
  • Voicing our opinions honestly and openly with our ex-partner, which have been bottled up in the past.
  • Punching a pillow and crying freely for 10 minutes
  • Screaming out aloud and imagining unwanted energy being released with your voice (seriously, I’ve done a meditation that incorporated this, and I instantly felt better).
  • Writing in a journal (more on this later).
  • Exercise and body movement.
  • Meditating.

3. Love Yourself

The practice of loving yourself is the most important aspect on the road to personal happiness and emotional stability. I’ve personally had my most valuable personal growth spurts during the period when I vigorously worked on this aspect of my life.

I did everything from cooking myself fancy dinners, to spending every Sunday on my own doing the things that I loved, to taking myself to Symphonies, to taking overseas trips on my own. Each one had its own challenges and confronted my beliefs about loneliness. Through overcoming the fear of loneliness, I experienced deep joy all by myself. It was so gratifying, refreshing and empowering.

Here are some ideas to cultivate the art of loving yourself:

  • Take yourself on romantic dates as if you were on a date with another person. Put on nice clothes, maybe buy yourself flowers, treat yourself to something delicious, and take long walks under the stars. Whatever your idea of a romantic date is.
  • Look at yourself in the mirror. Look yourself in the eyes. Smile slightly with your eyes. Practice giving gratitude to what you see. You don’t need words. Just send out the intent of giving an abundance of love to the eyes that you see, and feel the feelings of love within you. As you are looking into your eyes, look for something you admire about your eyes – maybe the color, the shape, the depth, the exoticness, or even the length of your eye lashes. This will be a little weird and uncomfortable at first, but just trust me, and continue with it. Do this for a few minutes every day.
  • Sit or stand in front of a mirror, or sit somewhere comfortable (mix it up, and do both on different days), put both hands on your chest and say to yourself, “I love you, <insert your name>”. Repeat a few times, slowly. Continue with qualities you like about yourself, or things you are good at. Be generous and list many, even if they sound silly. Example, “I love that you always know how to make your salads so colorful and appetizing.”, “I love that you have the discipline to go to the gym regularly, and you really take care of your body.”, “I love that you are so neat, and can keep your desk so organized.”
  • Practice doing things on your own to challenge your fear of being alone. For example, if you have a fear of eating alone in a restaurant, go out to a restaurant on your own. Your mission is to find the joy within that experience.

4. Love Your Ex-Partner

Allow the love within you to flow. Try practicing forgiveness and open up your heart.

Over the past few months, my friend Tom Stine and I have been chatting about the topic of overcoming breakups. Tom had been married for 13 years and went through a divorce that took him 2 years to emotionally recover from. When asked about how he got over his ex-wife, he had a few snippets of wisdom to convey:

  • “I let myself love her. Even when it felt like my heart was going to break. Adyashanti says something amazing – when people say, ‘My heart feels like it is going to break.’ He says, ‘Let it break. If you let it really break – really, really break, it will transform you.'”
  • “LET YOUR HEART BREAK WIDE OPEN. Let go of every possible belief or thought that says your ex is anything other than the most incredible, amazing, wonderful person in the Universe. You gotta love them and open your broken heart, WIDE OPEN!!!! That’s how to get over a break-up, really get over it. Anything short of that is not gonna do it.”
  • “The key for me was getting utterly clear: we are apart, and the Universe never makes mistakes. We are over. And I can still love her. That was HUGE. I can love her with all my heart and soul and we never have to be together. And when I realized that, I felt amazing. And still do. The freedom was great. I could finally own-up to how much I wanted out of our relationship. All the hurt and anger disappeared. I was free.”

The underlying message of love in Tom’s words is pretty clear and powerful.

breakup4.jpg
Photo: Nathiya Prathnadi

5. Give it Time

It takes time to heal. Be patient. Give it more time. I promise the storm will end, and the sun will peak through the clouds.

6. Journal Your Experience

Spend some quality time in a comfortable chair, at your desk or at a café, and write your thoughts and feelings on paper. No, not typing on a laptop, writing on paper with a pen. Follow your heart and flow freely, but if you’re stuck, here are some writing exercises you can do:

  • Drill into the why – Start with a question or statement, and continue to drill into why you feel that way until you have a truthful and satisfying reason. The exercise isn’t to issue blame or blow off steam at someone else. It’s meant to gain clarity and understanding into how you feel, so you can alleviate unnecessary pain. For example, you might start with the statement, “I am in a lot of pain, ouch!”, and your why might be “because she left me”. Now ask yourself, “why does that hurt so much?”, and one possible why might be, “because I feel abandoned”. The following why to “why does feeling abandoned hurt so much?”, “because it makes me feel alone”, etc. More than likely, the real reason has something to do with our own insecurities or fears.
  • Finding the Lessons – What did you learn from the relationship? What did you learn from the other person? How is your life better because of it? How will your future relationships be better because of it?

7. Read Something Inspirational

Books that deal with our emotions and ego are incredible tools at a time of healing. They help to enlighten our understanding of ourselves and our experiences.

Here are some recommended books:

Parting Words: Healing from Breakup

Every relationship will end someday, whether by break-up or by the death of one partner. Relationships have cycles. They are born, they live, and they die. Just like every part of life. It is merely a part of life.”
Tom Stine

Socially, we view the end of a relationship with a negative connotation and give it the label of a ‘failure’. Just because a relationship has ended does not mean that the relationship was a failure. Both parties likely gained something substantial in either learning about themselves or for the benefit of future partnerships.

Capture the beauty of time shared together, and note the valuable life lessons learned. Be thankful for having experienced love, and know that you are a better person because of it.

No challenge is ever presented to us, if we are un-able to handle it.

For those currently in relationships, cherish and honor your partner for who they are as form and formless Beings. Accept the reality that life is full of change, and dance with the changes and challenges as they come. And when they come, view each one as an opportunity for personal growth – when you do that, nothing is lost.

All is well, and so be it.

** What are your experiences with dealing with breakups? Any words of wisdom for others going through it? Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comment section. See you there!

Before you go: please share this story on Facebook, RT on Twitter. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Subscribe to receive email updates. Thank you for your support!
Connect with TSN Facebook Twitter Google+ Pinterest Instagram RSS
About the author

Tina Su is a mom, a wife, a lover of Apple products and a CHO (Chief Happiness Officer) for our motivational community: Think Simple Now. She is obsessed with encouraging and empowering people to lead conscious and happy lives. Subscribe to new inspiring stories each week. You can also subscribe to Tina on Facebook.

Love this article? Sign up for weekly updates!

Think Simple Now delivers weekly self-reflective, inspiring stories from real people. Join our empowering community by entering your email address below.

283 thoughts on How to Get Over a Break Up

  1. Brenda

    I loved this article!!!! I’ve been in love twice, both 10 year long relationships and both ending in death at young ages. After the death of my most recent partner, I resigned myself to being alone forever at the age of 40. The Universe sent me signs to let me know I needed to open my heart. I met a wonderful, sexy, patient and kind man. I fell in love and had high hopes. It felt so good to love someone, think about someone, have an activity partner and feel alive again. The article was beautiful when it said being in love is basically your partner reflecting the love already inside of you. We just broke up 2 weeks ago. It’s been VERY painful. Tears everyday, wondering if I made the right decision. I think of him everyday and my heart is still filled with love for him. He’s just emotionally distant and is comfortable with that while I am a very feeling person. I learned so many lessons through being with him. I learned I CAN love again, I want a relationship, my needs are important and that I do value myself. I’m going to use some of your tips this weekend!!!!

  2. Jennifer

    Thank you. I really never leave comments on blogs, but you helped me so much today, you ave no idea. I hope you have an amazing life. Thank you for being so caring and helpful.
    Thank you :)

    • jay

      thanks alot!!!…for the blog i started seeing the world differently after reading P.S. who knew u could still love ur ex and not feel crappy abt it …it actually gives the freedom to love someone else.

  3. Hi everyone iam new to this site and I like that one point in that story was when she said that it’s ok to have mixed feelings about break ups and this is my third break up! I met my third bf on Facebook and we hit it off after a while and we started to like each other and we started dating we have dated for 3 years and everything was going great and FYI Iam 19 now but we started dating when I was 18 and he was 18 at the time too but the only thing was that he lived in the Dominican Republic and I currently live in decatur,Georgia I started to have doubts that he was cheating on me with other girls and then he wanted me to send him a sex picture but I refuse to do it and then he didn’t care about my feelings he wasn’t talking to me as much as he use to I have tried to make an effort into thinking that maybe this was just a phase he was going thru and then I realized yesterday that I can’t do this anymore with him and I called the relationship off and it seemed to me like he did not give a DAM about it and he un friended me on Facebook but now as I think about it it might have been the best thing for me to do and your story has inspired me to think about my past and learn to grieve and make better choice but most of all u taught me to not give up that I still have a future ahead of me and who knows I might find somebody better, Sincerely Jordan!!!

  4. michael c

    I am just in the throws of breakup heartache. The partner i had broke up with me about two weeks ago. It is hard for me to accept because we had a child together who is now 6 months old and we were engaged and planned to be married. We had a deep emotional connection in the beginning and we were very intimate with eachother. This article has helped give me a deper understanding of what im going through and that what im feeling is normal. I found myself reading this because when i sleep and wake up i instantly reach for the person i loved so much and quickly realise that person has gone. Its like waking up and being in a nightmare only the nightmare is real

  5. Molly

    This is going to help me a great deal. Thanks!

  6. Gianna Anderson

    Great tips.. I found this book very helpful as it these tips and more.. it’s kind of short but to the point.. It helped me get over my recent breakup. http://www.amazon.com/The-Breakup-Handbook-Sensitive-Soul/dp/1499139144/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398260629&sr=8-1&keywords=sophia+hope

  7. Anas

    Best Article ever read.
    I am feeling that pain in my heart which you have mentioned above.
    I love my love a lot but she got an option and left me.
    I am left to cry to feel the pain.
    What i think from my personal experience is that to get over with this thing you need to have an option.
    Talk to your friends ask a girl for date try building new relationship asap and you will get over with it.
    Coz being alone will kill you.

    • Gavin Scofield

      I was in love with my ex wife and when she told me she did not love me anymore I got over her by going straight into another relationship, Yes that worked for me and killed the pain. 5 half years I have split up with this relationship and it hurts like crazy

  8. laura

    It comes down to you can’t make someone love you and you don’t want someone who doesn’t do you?

  9. I completely agree with Loving yourself again, when you come out of a break up it can be really hard to get your self confidence back as it can take a massive hit, I think until you do this you will never get over it. Believe in yourself again! : )

    Mike x

  10. mac

    i’m a very simple guy. Indian. we have arrange marriages and so never allowed myself to be into a relationship.

    however, a girl approached me. cared for me. proposed me. Initially i said no, yet she continued loving me n later i had to fell for her.

    things were going gr8. i was on cloud 9. but al of a sudden she brokeup with me saying that we hav no future since our caste were different and her parents wont allow it.

    I was heart broken. ended up in depression. somehow, came back to life, with the support of family. was back home for 3 months to recoer. now im back for my job. its been 3.5 months now. All of a sudden i came to knw that she has been dating a different guy, he is also not of her caste and they r in relationship just after 20days of breakup.

    now i really cant understand the logic of breakup wid me. all of a sudden im standing back 3.5 months, same position.

  11. The first step is to get UNDER it, not over it. Because if you’re able to shrink into the most painful life changes, you learn to surrender to what is without your control, and focus only on that which is in your control.

    If you got dumped, this isn’t a breakup, it’s the other person’s break out, or break away from you. This is what hurts so much, because you realize they want you out of their life so they can be free to do something other than love you.

    If you can fall out of love quickly, there would be no problem, but that’s not possible, so getting underneath the condition of your instantaneous self-loathing has to be your first objective when being dumped. (If you’re the dump-er other advice would be given).

    Self-loathing is a form of denying yourself the love you no longer enjoy with the former mate. He/she was a reflection of love, so it didn’t rely on you loving yourself because they did it for you. So now, without them, you must find that course of self-love all over again.

    I do soul readings for people on this very thing, but you can also find spiritual teaching in many forms. I don’t suggest meditation at first, the mind will constantly seek what it misses before it looks for silence.

    Physical activity is the best form of meditation after a dumping. It’s a long road to self love, but once achieve, True love is never far behind.

    • Sher

      I have been scouring websites, and looking for some answers to make a quick fix of this total and complete devastation that I am feeling – truth is that nothing anyone says is helping, perhaps this is still to raw and I still need to feel all of this pain before I am ready to move on to something/anything else. I have not felt like this before and the worst part is that I have no control over what or how I am feeling. I am 38 years old and i was with a woman for 2.5 years that compeltely strung me along and led me up the garden path, she is vibrant and socialble and funny and a pretty good actor by the looks of it – because i recently got the line “my feelings are just not as strong as yours” and then that was that. The weird thing is I think I always knew it, but I chose to live in hope – because when i did address this worry, she always said I love you. There were so many things that were not ideal in this relationship, we are from two different countries, we both live and work at sea for most of the year, we saw eachother during our vacations, and she would come sail with me whenever she was off, we communicated every single day without fail. the problem now is that I have gotten a land based job atarting in Feb next year, in her country because we finally wanted to come together and start to build a life together and now i get this – and i cannot back out of it, because i have committed – this leaves me feeling very very angry, and very very sad – when people say they can physically feel emotional pain, I now know what that feels like, and it has to be the worst thing I have ever experienced. Because of my circumstances, working at sea – I cannot take time out just to cry and relax, and there is nobody here i can talk to, I am in a very high up position and have an enormous team to run – they can see that something is really wrong because I simply cannot control my emotions, and sit in my office trying to function with tears streaming down my face – how pathetic I must seem!

  12. sabrina

    hello everyone my name is sabrina and i need some advice I’m desperate,i am 18 years old and i am going through very bad breakup.it hurts like no other i was with him for 7 years ,and he’s so mean to me thats why i decided to leave him and he keeps bothering me i just really want him to leave me alone for good idk what to do i already heard he’s been talking to a few different girls but then he call me and tries to act all sweet he’s basically trying to play me like a fool hes hit me cheated a lot and lied so much Im at the point where i can’t stand him anymore i can’t and won’t go back this time but in his head for some reason he thinks that i still am gonna go back i still very much love him I’m just tired of the way he treats me its horrible I’m so depressed because people at school keep telling oh i saw him with this and that girl and that hurts a lot like how evil is that idk but my heart hurts and I’m depressed i need someone anyone a friend to talk to.

    • Hey Sabrina, You are doing the right thing leaving him. You are young and will meet other people who will treat you better, but you will only do that if you make space for them, which is what you’re doing by leaving him. Set some boundaries with him and your friends. Tell him not to contact you and if he does, don’t answer. No text, email, calls, etc. And tell you friends (if they are indeed your friends who are reminding you of him) that it hurts to talk about him and that you would rather have something fun/nice/easy to distract you. If they keep talking about it, stay away from them for awhile too. Since you have been with this guy so long, think of it like an addiction. It’s gonna be tough to give him up, but after awhile it will get easier. But if you keep going back over and over, you will stay addicted. Big hugs and stay strong lady <3

  13. CHIKKI

    I liked the article very much. Its not easy to come up after break up. I am 19 and I am trying to bring my life up after break up but sometimes memories and some special days again throw me into the past. Any solution?

  14. PS

    I loved this article. Thank you for giving me a new perspective.
    Everyone was telling me to just forget him. I listened to them and tried; I failed. Now I can accept the fact that I still love him deeply and that it’s okay to do so.

  15. Deepak

    Dear This article made my life at the better stage every time i am reading this.,
    really the writer of this article don’t know what he has written, it is the medicine for the patient of love,

    actually the love or your ex partner whom we assumed our everything, is really feel better when we crying we feeling pain and share to her or him.
    try to be happy and leave him or her as she or he wanna leave his or her life,

    try to be find your self to whom you lost when you fall in love with a wrong person,
    you can understand yourself better, we accept she or he cheat you from many days but trust me she or he if doing you heart touching talks with you for her or his satisfaction only, he or she herself or himself disturbed from his life.

    finally i must say that find happy in yourself no body can steal it from you.

  16. 1SadGuy

    Thanks for this article. Although my cynical side tries not to buy the whole self loving thing, it is great advice. My girlfriend split up with me today. It hurts. We both love each other but things weren’t right, and she can’t live with my complicated list of priorities, of which she was the highest but never felt that way. So it ended. And it hurts. A lot.

    I cared for her during the bad times, and celebrated during the good. And I supported her throughout some of the trials of life. I don’t hate her. Quite the opposite. I love her, but experience tells me that her decision is quite final. She called me this afternoon, asking if I wanted something back. It was a tough phone call. I cried in exactly the way a man shouldn’t. But it helped, and feels like closure. This is going to be a hard journey ahead, and frankly, I’m not sure why I’m sharing this. Maybe someone will read this and feel less alone. If that is you, I hope you find happiness again soon.

  17. Lyn

    I have been with a Lebanese guy for 9 years. I knew from the beginning of the relationship that his parents wanted him to marry a Lebanese woman. To this day I still can’t wrap up my head of parents being the one to choose what their children should marry. Yet I persevere hoping against hope that things will turn around. That the parents will see how happy their son is with me and if they love him they should grant us that. But sadly no, the latest visit home made him committed to this girl and will marry in a month or so. I am left with a gaping hole in my heart and the pain is so bad it is crippling. It came out of nowhere, there’s not even a breaking up first before another woman take over. I am devastated and told him too that he handled this the wrong way. He has the control, he should have broken up with me first before seeing this woman instead of the reverse.

  18. Twinkle

    WWe are in love for about three years it was going well from both but things started getting worst and I decided to break up n move on for about two years my ex approached me constantly to come back but as I moved out to a new city have new life n priorities especially studies I didn’t get back to him. He was very much involve in my family in meanwhile after our breakup I fall for one of his relative which also didn’t end up well as I confess to the new guy about my past relationship with my ex, the new guy left we hardly spoke and meet for 10 days but I got effected by this over a year. On the other side my ex involve with another girl and moved on in his life was in b/w while in relationship talked with me but as I felt uncomfortable I talked with him normally as I didn’t want to start again but I don’t know what happen to last winter I start feeling for him aware of the fact that he got committed I confess him my feelings he also hesitatingly approach towards me n we get back together now the problem is how to approach with the other relationship he has as he is a commitment freak person and care about his reputation and the family as well didn’t gather courage to speak up on our relation which almost completed 10 months. I took the initiative to talk to the girl but she didn’t understood also to my ex sister as she happen to be my good friend but things turns out bad very bad quarrel, fighting, accusations, etc my ex got confused b/w me and d girl n talked to both at same time but ya he did told her not directly but indirectly meet her only once during 10 months etc etc. Finally one day he came up with this that we should end up n its best he used to do this a lot of time and later himself called n apologies and show that he want me and this time again things happen he wants me leave him and I really love himlove for about three years it was going well from both but things started getting worst and I decided to break up n move on for about two years my ex approached me constantly to come back but as I moved out to a new city have new life n priorities especially studies I didn’t and don’t want to leave but the situation is so that I can’t thing wisely.plzzz suggest me what should I do although I already made my mind to move on but its getting difficult for me day by day.. e are in love for about three years it was going well from both but things started getting worst and I decided to break up n move on for about two years my ex approached me constantly to come back but as I moved out to a new city have new life n priorities especially studies I didn’t get back to him. He was very much involve in my family in meanwhile after our breakup I fall for one of his relative which also didn’t end up well as I confess to the new guy about my past relationship with my ex, the new guy left we hardly spoke and meet for 10 days but I got effected by this over a year. On the other side my ex involve with another girl and moved on in his life was in b/w while in relationship talked with me but as I felt uncomfortable I talked with him normally as I didn’t want to start again but I don’t know what happen to last winter I start feeling for him aware of the fact that he got committed I confess him my feelings he also hesitatingly approach towards me n we get back together now the problem is how to approach with the other relationship he has as he is a commitment freak person and care about his reputation and the family as well didn’t gather courage to speak up on our relation which almost completed 10 months. I took the initiative to talk to the girl but she didn’t understood also to my ex sister as she happen to be my good friend but things turns out bad very bad quarrel, fighting, accusations, etc my ex got confused b/w me and d girl n talked to both at same time but ya he did told her not directly but indirectly meet her only once during 10 months etc etc. Finally one day he came up with this that we should end up n its best he used to do this a lot of time and later himself called n apologies and show that he want me and this time again things happen he wants me leave him and I really love himlove for about three years it was going well from both but things started getting worst and I decided to break up n move on for about two years my ex approached me constantly to come back but as I moved out to a new city have new life n priorities especially studies I didn’t and don’t want to leave but the situation is so that I can’t thing wisely.plzzz suggest me what should I do although I already made my mind to move on but its getting difficult for me day by day..

  19. Stuart

    While reading the article, I was particularly touched by the thought of holding my hands over my heart, and telling myself that I loved me. I actually cried. I need to find things I can admire in myself though. That’s pretty difficult right now!

    I’m also struck by Tom’s advice, which seems counter intuitive, particularly how you need to understand what you love about your ex. Listing my ex’s good points woukd fill a library. And it’s not like she broke up with me because she doesn’t love me either, she says she just needs more time to concentrate on herself and her studies, no time for a relationship right now.

  20. SeriouslySad

    Very hard, especially for us men.

Page 11 of 11First...67891011
Your thoughts?

Leave a Comment

We’d love to hear them! Please share.

Think Simple Now, a moment of clarity © 2007-2022 ThinkSimpleNow.com Privacy Disclaimer
Back to top