Comments on: How to Really Listen to Someone

By: Neha

Neha — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 18:07:22 +0000

Hi Tina,
I am really sure about how mirroring can help us connect to people better when we are physically present with them.Often I have to talk to people who are really miles afar,on the phone or sometimes just through mail. I am not very sure about how I can understand exactly what they feel, because at times they may not directly express that which is going on in their head. Maybe this is not much of a part of this very topic of listening to someone, but i would definitely appreciate your guidance through this.

By: Tina Su

Tina Su — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 09:58:57 +0000

@anonymous

haha.. then you must do what you can to relax. Like focusing on taking some deep breathes. And continue to “look” like you’re listening to not distract the speaker. :)

That’s happened to me when meeting someone famous or very wealthy. It also helps to remember that everyone is another human, and we all have feelings, and fears, and insecurities. The other person is probably distracted with their own insecurities. :)

By: anonymous

anonymous — Fri, 07 Jan 2011 01:42:20 +0000

Thanks Tina!
How about when you’re nervous around the other person and it’s hard to even concentrate on what they’re saying…because you’re thinking about them.

By: tony cullen

tony cullen — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 19:30:01 +0000

i am 52 yre old and find myself looking for someone i have never met i need help in finding her otherwise i will never content if someone thinks they can help i would be very grateful

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By: Sudo

Sudo — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 05:24:09 +0000

There’s some great advice here for tricking people into thinking you care, but experience has taught me that anyone else who knows about these “techniques” will spot them immediately, and will (often rightly) assume you are only feigning an interest. This can obviously be more damaging than simply not being a good listener…

I’m not saying there’s bad advice here, but just warning that feigning an interest is not always a good strategy. As with all advice, take it with a pinch of salt.

Oh, and Philip Ang asks: “You have one mouth and two ears. Why not two mouths and one ear?”

I like the sentiment, but that’s really a question for a biologist…

By: sen

sen — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 11:44:55 +0000

Thank you Tina for all the time spent for us.your writings are really worthwhile.

So,focusing on one eye rather than two certainly makes the
difference.Is it? I just find it interesting to try.

By: Suphattra

Suphattra — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 16:39:00 +0000

Tina,

Thank you for your good article keep it up!!!!

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 08:22:58 +0000

THANKS! Great advice! I am going to put my new techniques to work starting today! :)

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