Archive for communication
8 Keys to Instant Charisma
Posted on 01.31.08 | 111 Comments
Photo: BertrandThere is a simple fact of human nature that states we all want to be liked. Don’t be afraid to admit it. If we think about it, underlying many of our actions, we are really seeking ways to validate ourselves and to fulfill this desire of being liked.
Have you ever met someone and instantly took a liking towards them? You can’t explain why, but you feel a fondness and you want to do things to help them. I’m not talking about sexual attraction, but a genuine and innocent feeling of fondness towards another person.
In a job interview, you are more likely to be hired if the interviewer likes you as a person. In a business situation, you are more likely to get deals done and gain favors. In a personal situation, you are likely to gain trust and loyal friendships.
When we decide that we like someone, it is a psychological process that we cannot quite articulate. It’s not a secret that we make decisions emotionally and justify them logically. So, does this mean that we can influence an emotional decision that happens subconsciously?
I believe that decisions can be influenced. I know that the qualities of a likeable person can be cultivated and proactively developed. Do you want to know how to develop the skills to be likable?
Your Guide to Conquer Fear of Public Speaking
Posted on 11.26.07 | 44 Comments
I’ve heard of all the standard public speaking tips, like making eye contacts with your audience, plan your speech, practice, speak with volume, and standing up straight. Although, they are valuable tips, none of these tips address the real problem underlying my speech delivery. Namely, my fear of failure, and the crippling nervousness I experience when standing in front of a crowd of people.
I’m sure you can relate to the nervousness I’m referring to. Even if you are Tony Robbins or an expert in speech delivery, at some point in your life, you’ve felt nervous when giving a presentation. I used to hate public-speaking, I would get so nervous that the only thing I heard was the sound of my heart bouncing out of my chest, the only thing I felt was my stomach tightening up as I wipe my sweaty palms on my pants. In the past, I’ve dealt with this fear by avoiding presenting in front of people, whenever possible. But I’ve since learned that the best way to deal with any fear is facing it. I started looking outside of myself, then learning and testing out various techniques for dealing with fear. I began practicing advice on giving outstanding presentations. In my experimentation, I have found that several techniques have worked miracles in helping me give effective and fearless presentations.
How to Really Listen to Someone
Posted on 11.05.07 | 42 Comments
Photo by Thomas Hawk“To be interesting, be interested.
Ask questions that other person will enjoy answering.
Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.”
-Dale CarnegieEveryone desires to be heard. When we listen to others, we validate their need to be acknowledged and understood. Deep down inside, we all want to know that we matter, that we are important. Don’t you find that meeting someone who shows interest in what we have to say, we tend to take a liking to them instantly?
I’m not asking you to pretend to be interested in hopes of being liked, but rather to pay attention to this often overlooked and forgotten skill. In addition to improving your personal and professional relationships, listening also helps to prevent misunderstandings and facilitates cooperation.
The following are techniques to being an effective listener. I have learned these from communication courses, seminars and books on personal relationships. These are ones I’ve personally found to be useful when engaged in a conversation with other people:
7 Hacks to Remember Any Name
Posted on 10.26.07 | 44 Comments
Photo by Hamed SaberOur name is one of those hard wired words in our subconscious (like “Free” and “Sex”), which has the intrinsic trigger to get our attention. You are more likely to react and respond to the sound of your name than say the word “apple”.
The ability to remember people’s names is an incredibly useful skill, in business and social interactions. Do you remember how impressed or surprised you were the last time someone remembered your name? I still get impressed, and I tend to remember these people in an especially warm and friendly light.
I have a distinct, short and easy to remember name (”Tina Su”). I often fall victim to the embarrassment of not remembering names of people who approach me with “Hi Tina, how are you?” My mind would go into panic, thinking “Oh crap! What’s her name again?”
I have developed the following techniques to help myself remember names. I’ve used each one extensively and they have proven to be effective in my experience. I want to share these with you, and hope that you will find them as valuable as I have.
Tips for Public Speaking from Top Speakers
Posted on 09.27.07 | 5 Comments
My latest obsession is public speaking. I don’t know what hit me, but I’m finding myself making excuses to speak in front of people. As with photographing people, I started, because I was afraid of it, and I had over come that fear by just doing it (repeatedly), until I fell in love with the act and couldn’t stop. Public speaking is similar. I’ve extracted out some useful tips from “Podium Tactics From 28 Public-Speaking Pros“. These are general tips from the speakers. I will cover specific techniques in a later blog post.
- “..putting aside a lack of confidence and delivering a message more important than your feelings and sensitivity. It’s about recognizing that your presentation is meant to help someone.”, George Foreman
- “The single most important thing you can do is
