Archive for happiness
Feeling Lonely + Baby Updates
Posted on 12.16.09 | 47 Comments
Photo by Vadim PacevBy Tina Su
Two weeks ago, I wrote about optimism when things don’t go our way. Well, this week, I could have used some of that optimism. I think the honeymoon period of living in a hospital is over.
So, I’ve been at the hospital for a little over 3 weeks, on bed rest. It’s been two weeks since Jeremy returned to work, so I spend most days alone on my fancy multi-adjustable hospital bed, with 7 pillows, a laptop and the TV remote.
In the beginning, I thought I was at the Ritz hotel. Nurses remind me of when I should take my pills, I get to hear my baby’s heart beat twice a day, my contractions are being monitored regularly, there’s daily house-keeping and an array of food choices at the push of a button - just like room service, except, it’s free and no tipping.
Then, I found out a week ago that I had Gestational Diabetes (GD) - a common but temporary symptom for 16% of pregnant women during the third trimester (28 weeks until delivery). Which means I’m on food restrictions.
The nurse of the day happily walked in and handed me a new menu - it says “Diabetes Diet Menu“. Because I don’t eat meat or eggs, my choices became further limited.
I was frustrated. I felt sad.
Embracing the Unexpected
Posted on 12.03.09 | 48 Comments
Photo by Edwin StempBy Tina Su
What do you do when things do not go your way? While being upset seems like the most natural reaction, sometimes, you just have to let it go, accept it for what it is, do the best you can and find the gift within.
A week ago today, Jeremy and I were traveling back from a trip to Mexico - a little tropical getaway as a couple before baby Ryan is born.
During the first flight back, I experienced sharp lower abdominal cramps. After 16 hours of traveling, 4 hours of bad sleep upon returning home, and stubbornly resisting Jeremy’s persistence to go to the hospital, that is exactly where I ended up.
Turns out, I had been in preterm labor for the past 17 hours. Being a first time mother, I didn’t know what a contraction actually felt like. What I thought was simply cramps from gas and baby movement turned out to be contractions.
When the doctor checked me at 5am that eventful Monday morning, I was dilated to 2cm, contracting every 4 minutes and my cervix had thinned to 50%. My body was getting ready to deliver a baby. At the time, I was 28 weeks pregnant.
Having only found out about my pregnancy 8 weeks earlier, the thought of possibly delivering a premature baby that day was surprising and terrifying. Thus began a frightful and confusing journey over the next 48 hours.
The following is a tale of what happened in my corner of the world during those few days, and what I’ve learned.
The Ups and Downs of Life + Personal News
Posted on 10.15.09 | 101 Comments
Photo by Vadim PacevBy Tina Su
Coming back from India, I was floating on a cloud of utter joy, blissfully unaware of the personal challenges and surprises that were about to hit me in the coming month.
While I had fantasized over the telling of what has happened over the past month, it quickly became obvious that the toughest part of my job is the potential of disclosing too much about my personal life, thus invading the privacy of those closes to me. Despite the juiciness of the story, I’ve decided to leave most of the details private.
I contemplated on why I wanted to write about it, and it became clear to me that the essence of the story is that we are forever riding the ups and downs of life, and that sometimes when the downs get really down, we lose touch with reality. In those moments, all we need is hope and a gentle nudge to remind us that it is only temporary, and that the highs are not far away.
How to End Suffering
Posted on 05.14.09 | 69 Comments
By Tina Su
“While pain might be inevitable,
the suffering that comes from the pain is not.
Suffering is not a state of life, it is a state of mind.
Suffering is your response to an event.
Whether you suffer or not depends
entirely on your reaction to that situation.”
~ Paramahamsa Nithyananda (Swamiji)Today, I will get (more) personal.
I’ve debated about whether or not to share this information in a post. It was a quiet battle between keeping my personal life somewhat private, and the intense desire to share the lessons from this important chapter of my life. In sharing, I’ve surrendered to my fear of being judged negatively by you - readers of Think Simple Now.
My husband Jeremy was married once before. During the early stages of our romantic courtship, he was simultaneously battling the lingering ends of an unsettling divorce (things got ugly and someday I hope to share the details of this tale with you - perhaps in a book). Suffice it to say, it felt like it was never going to end.
For about six months, my inner stillness was disturbed and stirred up by the negative feelings revolving around this event. My “pain body” came crawling out in full, front-and-center view, and stayed with me while causing unnecessary suffering.
Even when his divorce was finally over, I didn’t feel much better. The feelings of resentment and hate (however subtly in my subconscious) for his ex-wife remained for another three months after the fact - until two weeks ago to be exact.
This article isn’t about forgiveness or complaining about my own self-inflicted pains, but it is about personal freedom. The kind of freedom from the massive mountain of stories we’ve piled onto ourselves that result in suffering.
Are you experiencing anything that is causing you worry, heartache, resentment or stress? If so, continue to read and allow me to share the story of my new found freedom… and how I got there.
6 Steps to Eliminate Limited Beliefs
Posted on 04.15.09 | 77 Comments
Photo: stock photo** New: Audio:
(Intro: listen above or download mp3 file)I consider myself a frugal person and I’ve always thought that it was a good thing. However, I recently discovered that, while frugality is a worthy and useful quality, the root of my own frugality is based on some limited beliefs that I’ve held.
It all started with the story of a little dell laptop, and the story went something like this… The computer I use every day is a five-year-old Dell laptop. It was originally my work laptop from Amazon.com, until the hardware lease expired, and I was allowed to purchase it for $68.
This little machine has served me well, but due to its nature (ahem - it runs on Windows) - its gradual decline in reliability and performance was noticeable (even after re-installing Windows and doubling the RAM). I found myself becoming increasingly frustrated by the need to reboot my computer at in-opportune moments, and the random crashes and slowness of Photoshop - which I frequently use.
Last week, Jeremy watched as I was hunched over my little laptop, frustrated once again by the slowness of its functions, hinting of the need to reboot. I cursed out loud, not wanting to reboot because I had too many browser tabs open; so I persisted, insisting that I could tough it out. He turned to me, and with a concerned expression, said, “Honey, let’s get you a new Macbook and an external display. I think you’re really gonna love it and you’ll be so much happier and productive.”
I have resisted converting to Apple for about ten years. My excuse was always that I couldn’t stand the keyboard differences. While this was somewhat true, it was also an excuse to stay within my comfort zone and to resist change. That evening, however, I reached a tipping point in my dissatisfaction with PCs, and decided to give Mac a try (while trying to ignore the resistance in my stomach).
So, Jeremy and his friend Dave took me to the Apple Store. Once inside, I immediately felt like a kid in a candy store, drooling over the sleekness of the machines and the beautifully minimalistic store design. We walked into the store with the idea of buying the cheapest laptop + display combo, but when I saw that the current generation of 23″ monitors have a glossy reflective display, I knew that it would distract me more than be a tool of inspiration and productivity.
The Cry of My Soul
Posted on 03.31.09 | 52 Comments
Photo: Simón Pais-ThomasWe had a blissfully fun time in Hawaii, filled with sun, laughter, and relaxation. It was truly an occasion of celebration for love and life. But in life, the opposite extreme also exists within the same time and space continuum.
Shortly after returning from our honeymoon, while still wearing our ear-to-ear smiles, we got news that my grandpa Lozier passed away on the day of our flight home, at the age of 95.
I was deeply saddened by this news and spent the next three weeks in silent mourning. Suddenly, all the problems created by my imagination seemed insignificant and petty, and I began to ponder my own mortality.
I reviewed the previous week, and regretted fighting with my mom in Hawaii. I regretted making her sad and angry with my immature and occasionally lingering teenage ways. I regretted not spending more time with grandma and grandpa Lozier. I regretted not spending more quality time with my parents while in Hawaii. I regretted all the time I spent thinking hateful thoughts about things I had no control over. I wished I could take it all back. I felt sorrow at the realization of lost time, and that I could never get it back again.
This is a record of what I’ve learned over the past few weeks in my pondering of life, death and regret.
