Think Simple Now » happiness

Gift Ideas that Inspire

Tina Su — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 05:44:39 +0000

A few years ago, when I first started this site, I used to do posts on gift ideas around Christmas time (like this one and this one). I haven’t done another post like that, mainly because the gifts I like to give are quite boring (to the outside) and are usually non-fiction, inspirational type books.

Maybe it’s a personal preference, but I feel that “things” don’t last, but books do. A good book will move us, it will motivate us to take different action, and it will inspire us to see the world differently. In essence, a good book will change us.

If you’re been reading this Blog for awhile, you’ve probably already head of me recommending “The Power of Now“, which I believe it’s a must read for everyone (the audio book doesn’t count). That book changed my life and was the basis upon which this site got started, but that was over four years ago.

Since then, there are other books I’ve fallen in love with and do highly recommend. I thought to share some of them with you, just in case you were curious and/or was looking for gift ideas.

So this year, instead of trying to come up with a list of clever gift ideas, I thought to do a post of my favorite things (and favorite gift ideas I personally like to give).

I hope these recommendations (mostly books) fill your hearts with inspiration and wisdom, as they have done for me.

Are you ready? Here we go:

Gift Ideas: Books that Changed My Life

1. PhilosophersNotes

I don’t know where to begin in expressing how much I love the PhilosophersNotes. This is one of my favorite things in the world. Next to reading “The Power of Now” I would recommend that everyone get this.

What is it exactly? Brian Johnson created a series of book summaries of the 100 (now 200) of the best personal growth books—like Cliffs Notes or Coles Notes (if you are Canadian) except for books on personal transformation. In addition to written notes, he also recorded the summaries of inspiring ideas on audio.

For each volume, you get 100 notes from 100 books. It’s one of those things you have to experience to understand its genius. Each summary captures the most inspiring and practical ideas from that book. The audio for each note is 20 minutes long. (Click here to get the notes or continue reading for how to order for cheap.)

This is the only thing I listen to when I drive. It gives me this boost of positive energy. It’s incredibly inspiring, uplifting and brilliant. I just love it.

For books I’ve read before, the notes are like a zap of positivity, reminding me ideas from those books which I can instantly apply to my present life situation (without needing to re-read the entire book).

For books I haven’t read before, it gives me inspiring and interesting ideas from a book without putting in the time to read the whole book (just 20 minutes). This is also a great resource for discovering books I may want to read.

To order, do the following:

Go to this page.
Under PN-Volume I (I’m recommending vol 1 and 2, not the physical hardcover book), right above the Add button, select price next to “Pick Your Price”. You can choose $20 to snag this at a discount. (I got the physical version of this product for $200 from a few years ago. So you’re getting a serious deal here.)
Click “Add” button.
(optionally) Repeat for volume II, or start with volume 1 and see if you like it. I recommend getting both.
Scroll down the page, and click on the large button “Checkout” (on the same page, near the bottom).
Continue the checkout process.

Enjoy!! If you are similar to me, you’ll love this. Trust me.

2. The Millionaire Fastlane

You may have heard of me raving about this book in the post “The Greatest Tragedy: Time vs Money” that MJ DeMarco wrote for our site.

This book is truly a gem, and I do recommend this to everyone. Everyone around me either bought a copy or received one as a gift from me. :)

Besides, there are 162 five-star ratings (at this time of writing) on amazon—others agree (including Brian Johnson from #1 above, who did a PN note on the book in volume 2 of PhilosophersNotes).

This is one book I will give to my son, when he’s old enough to learn about money and business. I love this book. I love the honesty, wisdom and transparency from which the author writes. This book will forever change my money blue print, and I am deeply thankful.

To read my review of the book, see the section “Editor’s Note” near the end of the article on The Greatest Tragedy. You can order a copy of the book on amazon here.

3. Brain Rules

I am not a very (naturally) active person. In fact, the last time I exercised was about a year before I had a baby (who is now 2 years old). I mean, yeah, I know I “should” be exercising, but I’ve never been inspired enough to actually make the time to do it…

… until I started reading this phenomenal and very entertaining book “Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School”.

Now, this book isn’t about exercise. It is about understanding our brains such that we can optimize its ability to think, to remember, and to be productive. It’s a very practical and informative read. On top of that, the author has a unique voice that will capture your attention and keep you engaged.

In my mind, a sign of a good book is one that changes my behavior and outlook on life. And this is definitely one of those.

4. Super Rich

Russell Simmons, the hiphop mogul, has written a new book called “Super Rich: A Guide to Having it All”. Let me just preface by saying that “It’s not what you think.”

I recently saw Russell Simmon speak in person, and he completely surprised and moved me. On par to “The Power of Now”, this book is very practical and enlightening. Even if you have zero interest in hiphop culture, I still highly recommend this book.

Behind his fame, Russell is really a Yogi, who brings ancient wisdom into practical, modern speak. This book contains a beautiful blend between spiritual savvy and street-smart wisdom.

As I started reading this, I couldn’t stop high-lightening the pages. There are so many great quotes in here that I was like a madman with my pen. My copy of the book is filled with pen marks and scribbles.

If you enjoyed reading about my spiritual journey to India (2009) in the post “Living Enlightenment”, then I think you’ll really enjoy this book.

Here’s a quote from Simmons, which always put a smile on my face, “Happy can make you money, but money can’t make you happy.” :)

5. Personal MBA

The Personal MBA by Josh Kaufman distills the most valuable and universal principles of business into simple and practical concepts that we can use—not only in business but also to solve personal challenges.

It was recommended to me by, my dear friend, Derek Sivers. After the 3^rd time of him raving about how great this book was, I instantly downloaded it on to my Kindle.

Josh is a very concise writer, who gets to the point quickly in a crisp and no BS fashion. I liked that. I found parts of the book to be a little dry, so I found myself going back-and-forth between reading this and another book to balance out the logical, concise business talk.

However, the value you do get from the book far outweighs the few dry parts (Depending on who you are, you may not find it to be dry). I’ve learned a lot from the book and enjoyed the process.

Once I got through the first half of the book, which consists mainly of business concepts told in a very easy to understand, short, and digestible chunks, the second half completely surprised me. In the second half, he talks about soft skills and personal development—written in his concise style that is extremely clear and easy to follow.

The sign of a master is one who can explain complex concepts in a simple to understand way, such that a child could understand. And Josh definitely has a gift for making things simple to understand, and explaining them in short, bite-sized writing.

Ever thought about going to business school? Here’s a way to dive in for under twenty bucks. Have an interest in business or just like to learn new stuff? This is a great choice.

6. Brain Rules for Baby

Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five is written by the same brilliant brain scientist as the book from #3 above.

Oh man, I really wished that I had read this while I was pregnant with Ryan. If you are pregnant, or have a baby, or a child under the age of five, or know of someone who is pregnant or have a child under the age of five, :) please get this book. Seriously.

I get a little teary just writing this. It’s really good. You’ll learn something new. And you’ll be inspired to be better parents for our most precious little people.

This makes for a great baby gift and an insightful read.

6. Do the Work & The War of Art

It’s no secret that I love Steven Pressfield’s two books on overcoming creative fears and how to be productive with your creative endeavors.

You can read my review of these books on this post “Fear & How to Beat It”.

If you are working towards any type of creative or entrepreneurial or personal improvement projects, I highly recommend both these books: Do the Work and The War of Art. Both are very inspiring and phenomenal reads.

~ ~ ~

There you go! These are the top books and resources I highly recommend. If you like the content this site has published over the years, I think you’ll dig these books.

Before we do a summary of resources, here is a quick list of non-book items that I love:

OmmWriter – Oh Bliss! This is the software I use to write and (truthfully) to relax in. It blocks out of all on-screen distractions and presents you with a zen-like virtual environment (along with music) to soak in peace, and just let your words flow. Try it as a journal or to capture ideas. Download free versions for Mac and PCs. The iPad version is paid (but cheap). If you love the free version, please also get the paid version (to support the geniuses that created it). It’s a beautiful software that instantly puts me into Bliss land. Make sure to use headphones to catch the music — designed to draw you into serenity.
Kindle – I love my Kindle so much, that it I could, I’d marry it. *smiles* Seriously, if you like to read, you’ll love the Kindle. If you plan to read for extended period of time, I highly recommend that you get a version with E Ink, and not the color version (Kindle Fire). During a visit over the summer, after my step-dad saw how much I loved my Kindle setup, he got the exact same setup. He is now a very happy man. My setup is: Kindle with Keyboard + Leather Cover with Built-in Light. Worth every penny.
Moo Cards – Someday I’ll tell you the full story (maybe on simplytina) of how Moo (the company that makes high quality, good looking business cards at great prices) became my hero. When my designer messed up and I was in a desperate spot, their customer service took care of me—like re-designing the card, reprinting an order, sent it to me overnight (all on their dime) so that I had cards for an important event. They probably lost $50 or more from my order, but gained a life long raving fan. For example, I don’t need stickers, but am finding myself ordering them anyway, just because Moo makes them. :) If you need business cards and want to get the most for your money (not to mention a company who truly cares about their customers), use Moo.

Resources

Just for your references, here’s a summary of all the books and resources we’ve talked about in this post:

[Tool] PhilosophersNotes Volume 1
[Book] The Millionaire Fastlane: Crack the Code to Wealth and Live Rich for a Lifetime By MJ DeMarco
[Book] Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School By John Medina
[Book] Super Rich: A Guide to Having it All By Russell Simmons
[Book] The Personal MBA: Master the Art of Business By Josh Kaufman
[Book] Brain Rules for Baby: How to Raise a Smart and Happy Child from Zero to Five By John Medina
[Book] Do the Work By Steven Pressfield
[Book] The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles By Steven Pressfield
[Book] The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment By Eckhart Tolle
[Article] 40 Simple Gift Ideas to Spark a Smile
[Article] 38 Creative Gift Ideas

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How to Stop Negative Self Talk

Tina Su — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 20:23:31 +0000

Photo by aeschleah

By Tina Su

Do you know what makes life difficult?

The answer is simple: it’s us. :)

It is us, and that large and complex brain of ours that seem to seek out drama, repeat negative self-talk, create false illusions of fear, and generally makes our life difficult in almost all situations. Seriously.

Every single struggle we experience on a daily basis; every complaint, every dissatisfaction, every problem can be drilled down into a single source of root cause: our brain and the stories it tell us.

Because our brain’s job is to keep us safe, it is constantly acting from a place of fear. Its job is to ensure our survival. As such, its job is not to ensure that we have a blissful experience while we are alive.

Even when everything is going well, a little voice in our head will say, “Watch out! Something bad is going to happen.” Then panic sets in, and we experience that unnerving anxious feeling of possibly losing all the good we have going for us.

Our brain is exceptional at telling us engaging stories that are so convincing that it’ll influence us to also act out of fear and irrational anxiety. Additionally, It will vividly replay the emotional story in our mental theater over and over… over and over… over and over.

It’s torture, really.

Before you know it, you’ll start to believe in the story and trusting it to be true. It becomes solidified in your mind in the form of a belief–even if it wasn’t true. We then continue our life’s journey and take action from that place of false belief.

The problem is…. we end up suffering.

Sometimes, we suffer a lot. Sometimes, we suffer for a long time. We suffer because we don’t realize that we are the problem and that we are also the solution.

My Story of Negative Self Talk

For the last year or so, I have been carrying with me the repetitive thought and heavy belief that “I am a bad mom.”

Like many of our self-defeating thoughts, it whispers quietly in our ears and its toxin spreads insidiously. We realize that it is there, but because it’s difficult to separate it from reality, we let it stay. Because our brain speaks with our own voice, it feels real and it feels true.

Anyway, in my example, I had believed it. I had bought its story. Feeling completely incompetent as a parent, I did what I could to stay busy and to stay away from my little boy. It was heart breaking. I kept this secret silently tucked away in the privacies of my mind (and now you know it too).

Externally, people saw that I was focused on work–after all, lots of kiddies go to day care. Internally, my heart was crying. Truth was: I had buried myself in work because I didn’t think I could handle it. I was scared.

The more I stayed away, the more time I spent focused on work the worse I felt and the more my actions confirmed the affirmation that “I am a bad mom.” I was literally torturing myself.

Can you see that it’s a downward spiral? In these private mental wars we battle, no body wins.

Having gained the conscious awareness that this little thought was the reason why I had put my son in day care and why I suddenly felt compelled to focus on my career, it felt like waking up from a bad dream.

Looking at my precious little boy (almost 2 years old now), who radiates life so fully and with so much joy, I feel a surge of emotions–a mixture between feeling guilt for having “missed” a year of his life and feeling deep appreciation for having learned this valuable lesson.

I put my forehead against his soft little forehead, his light brown eyes looking straight into my soul and I gently whispered, “I love you Booboo. From now on, I promise to enjoy EVERY moment with you. Mama understands now.”

With that, I decided to stay home with my son once again. I decided to work out my schedule such that I can be a full-time mom again. No more drama. No more (mental) lies. No more (self) abuse.

I get another chance at this important “job”, except this time without illusions, without guilt. Through its ups and downs, I want to be there, fully.

~ ~ ~

Even before I was a mom, there was always something non-supportive running through my head, and often I would believe it. And this belief into a false statement about myself would cause so much pain and zaps much of my vital energy. I would feel cut off from life and it significantly limited my ability to feel happy.

I think the last thing before “I am a bad mom” the limiting thought running in my mind was “I am not lovable”. Even just a few weeks ago, while standing in a room of strangers at a conference in New York, feeling alone, the thought that kept running in my mind was “I’m such a loser. No body likes me.”

It doesn’t make sense, and it even sounds silly when we talk about this openly. But I genuinely believe that thoughts like these hunt each and every one of us to some capacity. Whether we are conscious of these thoughts or not, they do affect us. And they do hurt us.

Now, I don’t think these thoughts will ever go away, which is ironic, since this article is on “How to Stop Negative Self Talk”. While we can’t completely stop the negative self-talk, we can work towards a new reality where we stop believing in all this negative self talk.

We can do our best to practice awareness in recognizing when these thoughts are happening, and choosing to not buy into the abuse.

We can say, “Thank you for sharing.” Or “Cancel.” Or simply recognizing that our brain is like a crazy, drunken monkey that says really stupid things, and that we really shouldn’t take it seriously.

What about you?

What unsupportive thoughts are you hearing on repeat in your mind? What self-defeating, abusive and limiting statement is your brain trying to convince you (or have convinced you) to be true?

Stop for a minute from reading and reflect. What were you worried/stressed/anxious about recently (or right now)? What thoughts have been racing on repetition in your head?

Take inventory. Take notice. Then shine the light of awareness upon it. When we are facing the light, the shadows must fall behind us.

Here are some common thoughts:

I’m not good enough.
I’m ugly.
I’m too fat/tall/short/young/old.
I’m stupid.
He/she’ll never love me.
I am not lovable.
I am a bad parent.
I am a horrible person.
There is something wrong with me.
I never have enough time.
I don’t deserve …
I can’t …

All of these (and more) are illusions fabricated by our mind, which significantly limits our capacity to fully enjoy life. When we get lost in the story, we miss the gifts nestled only in this moment.

This moment, after all, is all we have. Once we loose it, it’s gone forever.

So savor it.

Drop the story. Be here now.

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**BACK TO YOU: How have you been? What’s on your mind lately? I’ve missed you. Let me know how you’ve been and your thoughts in the comment section. See you there.

The Story of Expanded Awareness

Guest of TSN — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 01:23:17 +0000

Photo by Anna Gay

Guest Post By Priya Khajuria

“Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.”
~ Brad Henry

There’s a vase full of roses on our dining table. Each week it’s a different color or a new variety. The first time I had the roses there, as soon as they turned slightly droopy I threw them out. Why not, right? I mean they weren’t doing anyone any good, looking so old.

One day, instead of throwing them out, I trimmed them a little bit and put them in a smaller vase. They perked right up and thrived for quite a while before it was time to throw them out.

As time went by, I got wiser. As the roses aged, I found a smaller vase to fit the trimmed stems. Then later transferred them into a mini vase. Finally I floated the blossoms alone, minus the stems, in a large white bowl to accentuate their beauty.

In a last gush of sentiment, I pulled the rose petals off the bowl blossoms when their time had come and sprinkled the petals into the bath, sprinkled them into a bowl, or dried them and left them out –whatever I could do to preserve their fragrance and sweetness.

I noticed something…as they aged, something else happened. Have you ever noticed how a new rose is so tight and complete, as though it is protecting itself…and then as it ages, each layer begins to curl outwards in the most lovely manner?

It’s as though the more it ages, the more open and beautiful it becomes. There are less barriers, there is more vulnerability and there is the presence of exquisite joy in its very being.

In a flash, I saw that my roses were not the only things in my life I had seen with limited awareness. Much to my sorrow, I realized that I had viewed my parents in exactly the same way: I’d been quick to discard them, judging my parents through the eyes of others, dismissive of them in the pursuit of what I wanted.

I was completely unaware that there could be a middle ground, a safe place to discover my purpose and yet stay within their warm circle. The more immature I was, the faster I pushed them out and away.

I realized that I had stopped appreciating the wonders of life and the kindness of others. I had stopped smelling at the roses. I had no time to enjoy the glowing sunsets.

Magnifying the pressures of daily work and annoyances had shrunk my capacity to recognize that I already had a beautiful life. I had diverted myself from where I really wanted to go and who I wanted to be.

I had been focusing on all the wrong things. When I forced myself to stop and just let myself be, everything around me came alive again. When I silenced my mind and became present, life simply fell into place. It had been there all along.

I finally understood the power of focus.

As I gazed at the beauty of my roses, I saw that my parents were still beautiful too. The realization was humbling. I was able to look at my parents with the wonder they must have once looked at me…the way I look at my children.

And when I see my mother now, I can see the Rose Rio Samba, delicate pink on the outside, revealing vibrant and joyous flashes of deep gold as it unfolds. My mother appears conservative but has an unusually ambitious exterior laced with unexpected bursts of gut-bursting humor and is dusted with the icing of golden-age Bollywood beauty and glamour.

My father…well I think of Knockout Roses. They’re resilient and powerful in an understated Jain kind of way. At first I thought he might be a purple, spiritual kind of rose but the more I got to know my father, I realized he’s the Sunny Knockout Rose.

He is bright and sweet but understated by his own choice. He is grounded and balanced–and like the Sunny Knockout–he contrasts nicely with brighter blooms (read: my mother the Rio Samba). And like anything else understated, one wouldn’t notice my father at first, in his quiet ways. It took years for me to set aside the resentment of youth, the focus on the thorns, to see the peaceful and loving man my father is.

I am grateful to realize this now, while they are still here. I am grateful for the richness & color that they bring to my life. The dreams I dream, the things I wish for…many seem to revolve around my parents in some way, and yet I know I am my very own “rose” as well.

The daily grind can be put away on a shelf at the end of the day. It is muting into the background while the richness of life, my family, my friends and my purpose becomes far more real in the light of awareness—infused with the vibrant colors of life.

Everything has come full circle. Everything is flowering in its own time, as it should.

~ ~ ~

How about you? Do you see your parents like week-old rose stems, ready to be tossed aside for a newer flower? Or can you appreciate the color that they can continue to bring to your life, even as you grow & flower & bring other plants into your garden?

How can you continue to appreciate them, or their memory if they have passed on? How can you view every rose in your garden— whether they be parents, friends, coworkers, spouses, or children–as beautiful and worthy in your sight? Here are three ideas:

Time— a garden’s beauty does you no good if you never enter it. Turn off your gadgets, put away your work, and just be fully present with the people in your life.
Water— flowers wilt without water, and so do the people in your life. Tell them what they mean to you, through little notes & emails, hugs, gifts, whatever “fertilizer” they most enjoy.
Pictures— Why do you take a picture of a rose? To cherish its beauty. So why not do the same with the people you love? Take out the camera, and make some memories you will cherish for decades to come. Take written “pictures” too, by journaling what they mean to you, just as I have done with my parents.

Keep expanding your awareness, and I guarantee you that all the roses in your life will bring you more & more joy. Happy gardening!

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About the Author

Priya Khajuria is a writer, singer and homeopath. Her chick-lit mystery novel Bollywood P.I. features a homeopath-turned-P.I. who stumbles into a major crime organization.
Priya also practices homeopathy and publishes health-related articles and resources at Vibrant Health..

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How Great Leaders Inspire Action

Tina Su — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 00:07:19 +0000

I just got back from Marie Forleo‘s business conference in New York, during which I experienced THE MOST inspiring talk I’ve ever heard: Start With Why by Simon Sinek.

It’s kind of hard to express in words why it was so moving, other than to say that by the time Simon finished his sermon, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. Everyone had tears in their eyes.

Perhaps it’s true, as Simon explains, that the part of our brain that control emotions doesn’t control speech. Thus, when we truly feel something that clicks with our hearts, it’s hard to justify in words, or finding words that accurately expresses how we feel.

His talk has been watched over 2.6 million times on Ted.com and is one of the 20 most-watched TEDTalks. However, the quality of that video on TED is disappointing. Here’s a version of the same video I found on YouTube (below) that’s of better quality.

Enjoy it!

Watch it even if you have no interest in being a leader in the traditional sense. After all, we are all leaders of our own destiny. The happier we can inspire ourselves to be, the happier the world will be for everyone else.

Check out the video and let me know your thoughts in the comment section. :)

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How to Face Adversity – Art of Moving Forward

Guest of TSN — Tue, 27 Sep 2011 00:04:07 +0000

Photo by Anna Gay

Guest Post By Allison Mac

“Adversity is like a strong wind.
It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn,
so that we see ourselves as we really are.”
~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Have you ever faced the kind of adversity that crushed you to your soul and left you feeling paralyzed and numb? Have you ever felt so lost that it seemed as if there was no way out of the darkness?

I thought that I have faced adversity and overcome it. In my life I have battled illness, financial loss and relationship trouble and yet I endured to be strong, healthy, financially stable and loved. It wasn’t until several months ago that my biggest challenge was about to stare me straight in the eyes and make me buckle at the knees.

Half way through November of last year I lost the most influential person in my life—my mother. She was not only my Mom, but my best friend, my business partner and my soul mate.

I had the kind of connection with my mother that I honestly can not imagine having with another person. We had a soul connection that ran extremely deep and she was the root of my being.

Her death was sudden and shocking and left me feeling raw and very lost. I wondered with all the work I had done on myself up to this point, was I truly ready to move forward on my own? Was I strong enough to pick up the scattered pieces of my spirit and find peace within myself?

So began my journey of dealing with loss, adversity and life changing circumstances. After the initial shock began to wear off in the first few months and reality sunk in, I woke up each morning with one single thought in mind… Please give me the strength to move forward with my life.

Moving Forward From Adversity

In order to move forward from any kind of challenge I believe we must make the decision to want to be here on this Earth, living this life. I had personally made that decision a long time ago and knew that I wasn’t going to quit now.

I think we all have opportunities to quit and give up when adversity strikes and at that point you do one of two things:

Succumb to the hard knocks of life either because of fear, anger or worse a dislike of yourself. OR
You make a conscious decision to not give up, to move forward, to honour yourself, and (most of all) to live.

Once you have made that conscious decision, it does not necessarily imply that you will experience smooth sailing from this point forward. However, it will usually mean that you will do whatever it takes to make the most out of your life, no matter what obstacles come your way.

3 Ways to Deal with Adversity

The thing about life changing events is that they tend to leave you feeling naked and (more than a little) fearful. If you try to squash that fear on your own you may be left feeling very alone and vulnerable.

In my experience, the best way to deal with the fear of adversity is to openly talk about it with others. Although by nature I tend to be a fairly private person, I will admit that there are times when keeping things to just yourself are simply detrimental to your health and your mental state.

In a case such as a huge loss or a major life upheaval, it is very important to ask and accept the help of those who love you. In this circumstance, I knew that if I had allowed myself to be buried away, I may never see the light of day again.

For this reason I began doing these three things:

1. Connect with Family

I quickly formed closer relationships with the remainder of my family. My family is small, and consists of two brothers and my father—none of whom live close to me.

My older brother was the most emotionally available. We spent hours on skype daily just talking and checking in with each other.

With my other brother and my dad, I had made sure to email more often and be open about what I was experiencing. This also allowed them to be more comfortable with opening up candidly with me.

2. Stay Close with Friends

On days when I felt like seeing no one and doing nothing, I forced myself to call a good friend and talked—even if it was about nothing.

Just having that social connection is vital to keep from losing your mind. If a friend offers to take you out… GO. On several occasions I went out to dinner with friends when I didn’t feel like going, but found myself feeling much better—better than I had felt in months.

I’ve learned that it is extremely important to stay close with friends and accept any help they may offer. It will help you move forward at a faster rate.

3. Write in a Journal

I have always loved to write but never been much into journaling. That all changed the day my mom died. I have written in a journal every single day since her passing and it has become my biggest life saver.

I used to speak to my mom daily. After she passed away, my journal became my avenue for expressing my thoughts, feelings and daily life.

I realize that not everyone likes to journal, but if you can force yourself to start, you may find yourself getting addicted to it like I did.

Moving Into the Future

The point is to not isolate yourself. Find ways to express your thoughts and feelings. I have found that sharing your experiences is often helpful in deciding what to do next and moving forward with your life.

It is also important to give yourself the space and time you need to absorb the adversity presented to you. It is going to take some time to work your way through the shock, fear, sadness and whatever other emotions you may be experiencing.

At a certain point it will become clear that it is time to either move forward or get stuck in a negative cycle. Hopefully you will see the light around the corner and make the choice to move forward, even if you can’t figure out how to get there yet.

Changing Circumstances

In order move forward you must do one very important thing: make a change. As painful as adversity can be, it also can be a catalyst for forcing you to change something within your life.

For me it was time to gain my independence and stand on my own without the support of my mother.

Even though, I appear to be an independent woman from the outside. I am very much aware of how strong my connection was to her and my inability to let her go and live my own life. Although this is not the way I would have chosen, it is clear that it is time for me to move forward on my own.

The below steps were essential in helping me move forward:

Consider what change seems to be staring you in the face. Why is that change being presented to you and how do you feel about it?
Even if you feared it, decide on what kind of change would make you feel happy and fulfilled.
With the above change in mind, write down a clear goal. Map out a plan of action to make that goal a reality. What steps do you need to take each day in order to move forward, clear past the adversity and change your life for the better?
Be sure to take at least one step each day to move towards your new goal.

Honour the Process

Change is not easy and overcoming adversity is a process and a journey. I believe it is important to honour that process and accept its ups and downs.

When you feel as though you have been stripped down to your most vulnerable self, there is no one quick-fix to make you feel better. Like it or not, you will be forced to go along for the ride. Accepting this process is part of the journey.

If I can leave you with one positive thought it would be that even when life changes and you must deal with great pain there is always light around the corner, you just have to take the steps to find it.

Take the time you need to find that light. When you wake up each morning, tell yourself that “Today, I will move forward one little step at a time.”

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About the Author

Allison Mac is a continuous student of life who tries her very best to live with conscious intention. She is a freelance writer who has a passion for teaching and writing about how the mind and body are interconnected. She blogs regularly at Binaural Beats Online and reviews brainwave audios for meditation and stress relief such as binaural beats and isochronic tones.

Coping with Stress: 5 Ways

pooja — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 00:39:21 +0000

By Pooja Lohana

“Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles,
they toughen and make strong.”
~Norman Vincent Peale

I am a self-employed freelance writer and if you have ever worked for yourself (or worked at a demanding job), you can probably related to the sentiment that stress from work is one of the biggest factors that can cripple your mind and body.

Since our goal at Think Simple Now is for all of us to live a happy life, in this post I will share a story of when stress broke me down and the 5 lessons I’ve learned while coping with stress.

As much as being your own boss is fun and it can give you the tremendous freedom, it can also be extremely demanding and emotionally stressful. You end up wearing many hats in your company: marketing, HR, the IT person, customer relations and CEO. If I stopped working, so will my business. All pressure is on me.

As the day starts, my brain races through the list of tasks that “must” be fulfilled during the next 10-12 hours. Sometimes, I’d get so distracted that I would completely ignore what my partner just said. Sometimes, I would rush through a whole day and not remember what I ate for breakfast.

Has this happened to you? Can you remember the last time you brushed your teeth or bathed mindfully?

Progress and stress seem to go together. There is hardly anyone who manages to glide through life with zero stress.

Frankly, I believe stress is there for a reason—and a good one. In terms of a simple equation, it is a negative motivation that if X doesn’t get done, Y will result. Y is not something attractive and you’d like to achieve Z. So X must be done at any cost.

But if we let stress take over our lives, we lose control and fail to achieve anything. It becomes a hurdle instead.

I have come to realize that more than getting things done, more than self-motivation, more than self-discipline and any commitment, I first must tackle one serious concern: the stress in my daily life.

It is true that we cannot completely eliminate stress from our lives. But we can minimize it to create a more controlled, productive and enjoyable experience here on earth. And it is possible irrespective of how “hard” your goals are to reach.

In other words, if you decide to beat stress, you will. How? We’ll talk about 5 ways on coping with stress. But first, a personal story.

Personal Story on Stress

Recently, I was beaten by stress left, right, center.

I felt like a squirrel running in a cage. I had several projects on my platter—a new non-fiction book to be ghost-written; a bunch of articles to be edited for a personal trainer; a press release to be written for a magazine; interview questions to be devised for an expert/scientist in the field of climate change and some editing work for Tina.

As you can see, the projects were pretty spread out and a bit all over the place. But this was nothing new. However, this time something entirely outside of my expectations happened.

I was starting to get furious because I couldn’t achieve things as scheduled and when I did, I saw my quality suffer. Tina asked me to relax, and write from a place of inspiration. I tried several recommended resources and tried to relax.

Yet, nothing much happened. I kept losing.

Then I was asked to take a break and come back to it when I felt inspired.

But I didn’t take a break. I continued to force the creativity out of myself. “Come out! Show me your face. I am waiting.” I pleaded my muse. I was not letting this go. The fight was on.

Zilch.

Needless to say, I was exhausted. Do you know why I lost? Can you figure why I couldn’t force the creativity out of me? Because I couldn’t give myself permission.

“What permission, Pooja”?

Permission to . . . fail. Permission to feel low. Permission to feel unmotivated. Permission to just be even if it meant being unproductive for a while.

Do you know what I mean? Can you relate?

Being a driven person, I’ve never missed a deadline—it was just “not me”. So I used the persuasion tricks on my body and mind.

“Come on you two, if you bring me fresh ideas I will give you a break. I will give you fresh air. I will love you more.” I’d try to convince myself.

The more I fought and forced my creativity to show up, the more it hid from me. The farther I ran away from feeling pathetic—well, you guessed it—the more miserable I was! In the end, I was more worn-out and stressed-out.

So what was happening? How was I, the sole member of my company, supposed to break this cycle of stress and keep myself going?

My Revelation about Stress

After about 2 weeks of this back and forth action, I realized I had to stop. Just be still and look straight at myself. No more pretenses, no more running away.

Finally, yesterday, at 5 am in the morning, I woke up, sat still in my bed, and just observed in silence.

There was a cry from my ego—it tried to distract me. Basically, it tried to prevent me from feeling pathetic. But I continued observing.

I felt every single emotion that was chained inside me. From a deep sadness to a feeling of bubbling enthusiasm for the future. I was overwhelmed with tears. I had just given myself the permission. And it didn’t suck at all.

I realized that it was . . .

okay to not be perfect every single time
okay to take time off
okay to accept the highs and lows of your productivity
okay to love and hold your inner child

I understood the most important thing for me was not finishing everything on time, not producing exceptional work, not even prioritizing things—no.

The number one thing for me to do, as I realized in that moment, was to accept my present state of mind. After I did this, I was truly let free.

5 Ways of Coping with Stress

I am not going to pretend these methods will make you stress-free for life. But they will prove to be your armor against stress and help you minimize your everyday tension. If you’re looking for a once-and-for-all kind of solution, I’m sorry to disappoint you. Progress and stress tend to alternate like ebb and flow of life’s waves, so let’s just accept it before we move further, shall we?

In those two weeks of coping with stress, I employed some ways to gradually feel better. And I did.

Stress Coping Method #1: Banish the Media

It is not surprising—most of the negative information comes from various media.

I don’t ask that you completely disconnect from the external world or that you don’t stay abreast with the latest happenings around. But while you do so, remember that what sells is always what’s broadcasted.

Stay away from the toxicities of news. Choose what you’d like to feed your psyche and reject the rest. Be mindful while you engage with the media and consume information.

Stress Coping Method #2: Move Your Body

Life is movement. If you go beyond the atom level in a human body, you will find what remains is pure energy. And you will notice a beautiful movement in this energy. Our bodies are meant and made to move.

Make sure you exercise in regular doses—even 15 minutes of simple stretching exercise everyday will help you stay rejuvenated for hours. Also, make sure you take ample breaks from your home-office desk. Get up, drink a glass full of water, stretch and come back afresh!

Stress Coping Method #3: Don’t Panic

That morning I realized that even though I was blessed with a lot of loving people in my life, not everyone will choose to remain a part of my life forever. It’s harsh and gave me the shudders. But it was ultimately a truth.

Another truth I realized was that there was just one entity who will always be there for me—always. No strings attached. And that’s my inner self. In good times, and in bad, it is there to comfort me.

So what’s the point to panic? None. Whatever happens, always remember you are not alone. Don’t panic.

Stress Coping Method #4: Morning Rules

Being a work-from-home gal, I didn’t have any restrictions of waking up early. However, I noticed that no matter what time I woke up, there were some “morning no-no’s” that when followed led to a more peaceful and more clear state of mind. Some of the things I stopped doing first thing in the morning were:

Reading newspaper or watching TV
Worrying about what problems I have
Trying to be perfect
Check my email or facebook

Our brains are most receptive in mornings. It is therefore best to avoid the above items. In the same way, there are some morning routines I’ve started to do:

A 5-minute silence first thing I wake up
Being easy on myself
Having a proper breakfast
Treating myself well—jumping into shower with rich aroma oils that leave a lasting feel-good effect
Choosing a new place to write, like a café or my local library, if the desk doesn’t invite my creativity
Taking a walk in the park near my house

Stress Coping Method #5: Become Financially Aware

I left this for the end because I wanted to highlight the other stress coping methods more. Still, I cannot deny finance is one huge source of stress for many people.

Are you aware of your expenses? Do you do your own taxes? Even though you hire someone else to do them, do you understand the whole thing? Do you strive for a better and improved financial independence? Do you have a mental block when it comes to wealth?

Money has earned a bad name but it is important even though you have a great house, relationships and marriage. Lack of money is a stress accumulator. Therefore, it’s important we remain aware of our finances all the time.

~ ~ ~

I have one last thing to ask of you: Listen to your inner child when it is feeling low. Accept that stress is there and focus on dealing with it rather than on it. Once you give yourself the permission to feel bad, that too shall pass and everything will look brighter in the morning.

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About the Author

Pooja is a writer and editor residing in Melbourne, Australia. She is the rock-star Editor on our brother site Work Awesome. She is also on the team of editors for several Australian publications.

In March 2010, after fully awakening to her passion for writing and publishing, she left a successful software engineering career to pursue her love for writing.

Today, she works from home in her jammies, while enjoying a view of sunny Melbourne from her balcony. Read more about her at her blog– Of Parchments & Inks.

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How to Live a Happy Life

John Hollandsworth — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 23:56:31 +0000

Photo by Shandi-lee

By John Hollandsworth

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.”
~Howard Thurman

I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

No, I haven’t won the lottery– haven’t even got a raise. No, haven’t been lounging in a seaside hammock on the coast of the South Pacific lately either.

So where’s my joy coming from? From being more and more alive each day.

Everyone reading these words is saying, “Wait a minute, last time I checked I was alive.” Yes, I know, but my question to you is: are you becoming more alive each day? This, I believe, is the key to living a happy life.

The Incredible You

What do I mean by “more alive?” I mean more and more of what you were meant to be. More of the incredible beautiful you that existed in the mind of God before you took your first breath. Some call it destiny, some call it purpose, some won’t even admit it exists, and yet there is something within each of our hearts that whispers that we are unique, that among the seven billion beings on this planet there is no one like us.

Think about what that means. What is more valuable, an art poster that Wal-mart ordered fifty thousand copies of, or a hand-signed, one of a kind oil canvas? You are that oil canvas, absolutely priceless, because there will never in the history of the universe be another YOU.

So, are you developing your uniqueness, that which is special about you, that which sets you apart from every other person on the planet? If not, then why not?

Embrace Personal Growth

Think of your life’s journey like a tree. What if a little sapling said to itself, “It’s so great to be a tree! I’m going to stay just like I am.” What a waste it would be if its vision didn’t realize there was so much more to being a tree than what it knew as a sapling.

A sapling is meant to grow & develop, becoming more and more a tree–more and more of what it was meant to be. One day it will be able to provide shade, fruit, stability for the earth around it, a home for animals, even fun for children to climb and play in it. Just like the sapling, you can be so much more alive than you are today, but only if you understand all of your potential and you are committed to achieving it.

Are you committed to becoming all you are destined to be? Are you focused on becoming more and more alive each day? What excuse do you have not to? Too busy paying bills? Too busy finding that special someone? Too busy advancing your career? Too busy raising the kids?

Can I say something? When you reach the end of your life, will it matter to you how many bills you paid to buy all that stuff crammed in your closets? Trying to find that special someone?— it will be a lot easier once you become a special someone yourself.

And talk about career—nothing advances a career like standing out in a crowd, being fully aware of your unique talents and fully ready to offer them. Your kids–they don’t need just a caretaker, they need a parent unlike any other on earth–someone who knows the unique gift they are to others.

How to Live a Happy Life: 5 Principles

So, I ask you again, are you committed to growing more and more alive, with each passing day?

“How do I do that? How do I discover and develop who I am? How do I feel more alive each day? How to live a happy life?” Well, I’m glad you asked, for here are five principles that you can put to use today:

1. Feel Like a Kid

Have you ever looked at pictures of embryos? As a biology major in college, I had to spend hours at it. What was the most important lesson I learned? That each animal became more and more like itself as it developed, and that you could look back at the embryo and tell what animal it would someday be.

Dogs come from dog embryos, and cats come from cat embryos. You can tell if an animal’s greatest fulfillment will be to bark or purr by just looking at its embryo.

So what’s the application here? Look to who you were as a child, and that will tell you a great deal about who you are now meant to be. What were you fascinated by, what did you love doing, what were you good at, what made you come alive?

So often, these clues to our true selves aren’t properly valued in childhood, either by ourselves or by those raising us.

When I was eight I wanted to be an inventor, and diagrammed countless inventions such as inflatable tents & multi-sensor fuel gauges. Did that mean I was meant to be an inventor? No, but it did mean I loved to create, and that I should look for ways to express my innate creativity.

When I was in the fifth grade I placed in a national writing contest. But since I didn’t see myself as a writer, I largely left that part of myself dormant for decades before rediscovering it in my forties.

So, spend some time looking back to look forward, and you may find a part of yourself that is destined to flourish.

2. Take a Step

The opportunity to become more alive today will not be half a world away, but rather at your doorstep, right in your current sphere of influence. It’s so easy to say, “Well if I could go back and get a degree or if I had more money or if I lived in LA or if…” and sadly conclude that you can’t change or grow or become the person you were meant to be because of cruel fate.

The truth is that you start your journey to that far off destination of who you want to be by taking a single step right where you are now. Don’t say you can’t get there from here– you don’t know that. What you do know is that you will never get there if you never take the first step.

When I started my blog six years ago, if you had told me it would one day lead to being an editor & writer for a website that tens of thousands of people around the world view, I would have just laughed at you. I didn’t plan that, I didn’t even dream of it, but I did one thing I could do: I started writing. I took that step, right where I was. It was a little step, but it was movement, and I kept taking little steps day by day, year by year, moving and learning and growing and becoming more alive all the way.

In the same way, I took the opportunity last year to teach a medical student for a week while my partner was on vacation. Just one small step, right where I was. I didn’t even expect anything to come of it. But taking that one step of doing something I love (teach) has now led me to being booked for months in advance with medical students who are eager to learn and who greatly enrich my life.

Just don’t sit there. If you are willing to open your eyes and look around I guarantee you will see that one small step you can take today which will both make you more alive now and lead you to a life you can’t even dream of tomorrow.

3. Stretch Yourself

Valuable personal growth is not quantitative, but qualitative, and you have to force yourself towards qualitative growth. In other words, ya gotta stretch yourself, get uncomfortable, get out of your comfort zone, and then keep getting out.

What prevents us from getting out of our comfort zone? The biggest obstacle for most of us is fear of failure. Well guess what? You don’t have to fear whether you will fail. I can guarantee that you will fail. Again and again. But that’s okay, because failing is the ONLY path to success. Whether it’s the story of Lincoln or Edison or any person who changed the world, they will tell you that the road to success is paved with failures.

Successful people realize it, and plunge in, knowing that pain and defeat come on the way to victory & success.

If you’re not willing to risk, not willing to try something you’ve never done, you will never become more alive. When I first self-published an anthology, I had all kinds of fears and doubts.

I even had a friend tell me that people wouldn’t really be interested in what I had written, and implied that I was destined to be humiliated. I almost didn’t do it, but somehow I believed in what I had to offer. Now, nearly a thousand copies later, I have so many stories of people telling me how much they were blessed by my books.

How much joy I would have missed if I hadn’t forced myself to stretch.

Where can you stretch yourself today? It shouldn’t be hard to find out— it’s that place where you’re afraid to go, and yet your heart tells you that you need to. Have the courage and strength to stretch, and you will feel yourself come alive like never before.

4. Make a Contribution

I admit it. I am hooked on playing Boggle on my iPhone. And you know what? I really enjoy it, and I’m getting better every week. If I keep at it, I might even become a world class Boggle player.

But am I going to devote all my spare time to it? I don’t think so. But why not? Couldn’t that be my destiny, couldn’t that be my unique contribution to the human race?

You may be laughing, but my extreme example underscores a problem: what do I devote myself to? My answer is tied to one special word in the last paragraph, the word contribution. You know you are on the right path when you are making a contribution to others.

Why am I putting in the hours to write this article? Yes, I get a zing from writing, but my real payoff is envisioning someone reading these words and making a positive change because of them. And I know I’m on the right path, because over and over I’ve had people tell me that something I wrote was exactly what they needed at precisely the time they needed it.

As you become more and more alive, the breadth and the depth of your contribution will grow and grow, and so will your joy. Let yourself live and grow so that your whole life flows to love and serve others.

5. Get In a Habit

Ok, this last principle is the one that will actually make growth happen day after day. We all read an inspiring article, get caught up in its vision, and make a change. For a day. Maybe two. I know. It’s happened to me too.

So how do you sustain change and growth? There’s only one way: committing to it daily. Committing to it daily will instill direction, hope, and vision. Each day when you take that small step, you will see it not as just a small step, but as one more step on the path that leads you without fail towards your destination. Each day will build momentum, until each step gets easier, more confident, and more sure.

Take one part of yourself, and make an easy commitment. If you write, commit to writing at least five minutes a day. If you give, pledge to give something unique of yourself each day. Or just promise yourself that you will consciously look for a new opportunity to learn, or grow, or love, or whatever it is you do– every day. Once you commit to a daily habit, you will be surprised at the positive energy that will help you on your way.

So there you have it: feel like a kid, take a step, stretch yourself, make a contribution, and get in a habit. I guarantee you that following these principles will not only make you feel more alive today, but will lead you to the life you were born to live. So seize today, and live it.

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About the Author

John Hollandsworth is a family physician and writer who makes his home in the mountainous beauty of East Tennessee.

He crafts beautiful & insightful prose that illuminates the challenges we all face & the potential we all have in relating to others, ourselves, and God. He has blogged for over five years at Light Along the Journey, and has just published the inspirational gift book The Sunflower.

He has been an avid Apple user for 30 years, beginning with an Apple II, to an original Mac which he still has, to his current trio of iMac, iPhone, & iPad.

He aims to learn, love, guide and create every day.

He thinks that the day that his beard reaches his belly button, he shall finally be wise as Gandalf.

* Click here to read all articles written by John.

Simplify Your Life

Cat Li Stevenson — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 20:25:18 +0000

Photo by Shannon

By Cat Li Stevenson

We’ve been deep-cleaning around the house lately: donating old clothes and getting rid of any extras that have been unused for sometime. In order to create ease with our daily routine, we’ve been simplifying our home and life.

My husband and I have a lot of random items from previous moves that we’ve been unable to shake – mainly sentiment that has spared numerous boxes of trinkets from our childhood or souvenirs from our travels.

But we honestly have no use for any of this stuff. They’re space-takers – they’re extras.

In an effort to simplify our life, we often turn to our material possessions: de-cluttering, donating, and organizing our space to create a sense of calm.

I imagine that one (or more) of the below may be true for each of us:

We feel the burden of too much stuff.
We bought a material item for temporary happiness.
We own big-ticket possessions — the home, the car, or the debt for whatever else — that we spend much of our time and energy working for.

I’m in whole-hearted agreement that the collection of materialism can have a nagging tendency to feel overwhelming at times.

Simplifying, on a life-scale, can seem like a daunting task— but I’m here to offer some good news:

We don’t have to reject all consumerism, move to a remote island, or follow a strict Zen routine in order to experience the inner peace that comes with simple living.

We can start now – this very moment – with all the daily extras we carry around with us.

Beyond physical clutter, most of us carry accumulated stuff with us each day – mentally.

Today, we can start getting rid of those extras:

The constant rushing through errands, conversations, and stop lights in order to get to the next moment – that’s extra.
The questioning of our intuition and straying from our values for temporary fulfillment – that’s extra.
The replaying of our busy, all-consuming to-do list throughout the day – that’s extra.
The long-winded lecture that accompanied the request of our significant other to put the toilet seat down – that’s extra.
The justifying excuse about why we didn’t fulfill a commitment – that’s extra.
The woulda-coulda-shoulda self-talk about the interview for a prospective job that happened a few hours ago – that’s extra.
The split attention of back-and-forth text messaging, while playing with our child– that’s extra.

The grasping for external diversions to distract us of what needs to be addressed internally – that’s extra.
The checking of emails sporadically throughout the day, while supposedly focusing on an important deadline – that’s extra.
The saying yes to a commitment, event, project, happy hour, baby shower when our schedule is already overbooked– that’s extra.
The all-consuming plan for the future that robs us of what we are doing now – that’s extra.
The agonizing over the piece of cake we managed to scarf down (oops!) hours earlier in the day – even that is extra.

We crowd our mind with extras each day – harmful self-talks, incessant worrying, attention-comprising multi-tasking, unnecessary busyness – that muffle the simplicity we can be experiencing right now.

If we did not carry the extras of mental clutter…

We could begin to uncover the bliss of inner peace. We could show up, wholly, in everything that we do, deepening our connection to both ourselves and with others because we’re fully present with our attention.

Simply Your Life By Simplifying the Mind

The de-cluttering of a home may appear easier to navigate than the inner-world of mental and emotional clutter. But the two are not so different: just as with our physical world, we can begin to organize our inner-environment by creating space.

Here are a few ideas on where to begin:

Listen to your inner wisdom. What is speaking to you about the lack of clarity at this moment? Observe what is asking for your attention – then proceed to address, accept, forgive, or simply let go to create room for clarity.

Revisit and reconnect with your values. Discard all the commitments that do not serve your higher intents. Life is too precious to settle for a compromised scheduled; live each day aligned to your purpose.

Become aware of a recurring fear-based thought that may create clutter, anxiety or an overwhelming feeling– replace it with an empowering affirmation. For example, perhaps you often worry about tight finances. An affirmation to replace a negative thought of not having enough money could be: “I am prosperous, I am secure, and I am surrounded by an abundance of financial opportunity.”
Journal to detoxify on what’s going on inside. Allow the release of emotions onto a piece of paper to become a routine cleansing. Self-awareness is a powerful tool for constant clarity. So often we become stuck in a rut of mental exhaustion because we haven’t given ourselves the opportunity to release. Stay connected with your emotional and mental well-being by integrating journaling into your daily routine.

Begin a meditation practice for 20 minutes each day to sweep the mental barriers clean. Meditation is a sanctuary for a busy mind to relax.

Account for the overdue commitments, bills, and errands by purging them all onto a calendar with due dates. Many tasks only require a small, dedicated amount of time to complete; yet, it’s often easy to compound the urgency or difficulty by replaying the list over and over.The intent of putting these to-do’s on a calendar is to liberate our attention, and allow us to return to the present.

When we remove all the extras by creating more space…

We will begin to feel the simplicity of living each moment as it is meant to be.

We can freely bask in the awareness of being alive.

We are happier and lighter.

What inner wisdom kicks in for you when you’re faced with a lot to do?

What good habits can you share that cultivate a clutter-free mind that allows for simple living?

What can you do – today — to make space for clarity that will contribute to your well-being?

*Share your thoughts and wisdom with us in the comment section. See you there. :)

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About the Author

Cat is an idealist that finds meaning and inspiration in all dynamics of her day – the strangers that become new friends, the synchron-destiny that reveals a little about the mysteries of life, the self-discovery, laughter, and transformations that happens on this adventurous journey.

For her day job, Cat is a corporate banker, real estate agent, and nutrition coach. She embraces mind-body wellness; waking up before sunrise for yoga & meditation and closing the evening with a jog with her best running buddy – her super-fit hubby, who was also her high-school sweetheart.

* Click here to read all articles written by Cat.

How to Be The Luckiest Person

Tina Su — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 22:21:23 +0000

Photo by the beautiful Anna Gay

By Tina Su

I have a confession to make. And that is…

I am the luckiest person in the Universe.

This is my little secret. It’s a secret because it sounds like magic fairy dust and flying unicorns, and generally makes me sound crazy.

When I moved into my first apartment in college, I remember telling my flat-mate Tanya I am the luckiest person in the world and she looked at me like I was a weirdo. Now, ten years later, if she hears me repeat this to someone new she will nod her head in agreement, while saying “Yup! I’ve seen it. It’s true.”

Somewhere in my teenage years, I had picked up this simple concept: that perhaps, if I viewed myself as a lucky person, good things would happen to me. In a way, it has become this self-fulfilling prophecy that feels incredibly calming. At the same time, it has brought a lot of good fortune into my life.

You know how some people always notice how “unlucky” they are? Or how “hard” life is? Well, I too notice these things, but I do my best to turn that helpless, defeated feeling around by confirming to myself that I am the luckiest person in the world, and to look for the good from the situation.

I don’t know about you, but it just feels better. It’s empowering and it gives me hope. And that positive expectation from hope then snowballs into countless happy circumstances. I will then make sure to take notice of these happenstance and use them as evidence to confirm that I am, indeed, lucky, and that good things, indeed, happen to me.

I take notice when incredible things happen–whether big or small. And I use it as an opportunity to be gracious, while repeating with a smile, “I am the luckiest person in the world. Good things happen to me. Everything is falling into place perfectly.”

I know this may seem naive and some may even label it as selfish. But I don’t care. Within the confines of my own mind, behind the lens of my perception, this is my Universe. This is my story. And I can tell it however I want.

Which brings me to the point of this article: so can you.

You too are the luckiest person in the Universe. Seriously.

Don’t believe me? Try telling yourself this story for the next two weeks, and I bet you will notice a whole new realm of possibilities. Suddenly, you will notice just how much abundance is flowing your way—unexpected gifts, unsuspecting help, happy coincidences and just plain good luck.

Trust me. I’ve been playing this game for over 10 years. I tell you, this stuff works.

Besides, it feels all warm and fuzzy inside when I think about it. Just for a second there, close your eyes and imagine: You’re in a place that makes you happy, and someone just handed you a crown for being the “Luckiest Person in the World.” Notice, how you feel as the crown is placed on your head and the world concurs.

Doesn’t that feel good?

This mantra can also come in handy when you’re having a bad day. The last time I was in a panic over a business dealing, my husband used it on me. He said to me, “Remember, you are the luckiest person in the world. Don’t let anyone pressure you into anything. Good things happen to you. Remember that.” That calmed me, almost instantly.

And so, whenever I start to feel self-pity (as we all do from time to time) or sadness or injustice, I’ll bust out every last ounce of discipline and force myself to repeat, “I am the luckiest person in the Universe. Good things happen to me. Everything is happening for my highest good. And I am safe.” I’ll continue to repeat this in my mind, until I feel an inner shift towards a better space.

Sometimes, I’ll even list out all the reasons and evidences for why I am lucky. I’ll list everything I am thankful for, starting with my breath. Sometimes this exercise will get so intense that I’ll be left in a pool of tears, soaked in that space of utter gratitude. No thoughts, just gratitude. Just that space of love, swelling from the center of my being.

I feel it now.

You know, more than anything the purpose of this post is to remind us that life really is very good. And that I am thankful to be alive — thankful for all the exciting experiences. Thankful for the love within me and surrounding me. Thankful for all the opportunities for growth. Thankful for all the good people who have helped me and who continues to help me.

And it is through this space of unequivocal gratitude and recognition that I am beyond lucky, out of which everything I have ever wanted has manifested itself into physical reality. Everything.

The world that we live in is truly abundant and magical. Take notice and you shall see it.

Next time you’re feeling stressed, or unhappy, or uncertain, remember my little secret mantra. Whisper in the privacy of your mind, “I am the luckiest person in the world. Everything is unfolding for my highest good. I am safe.”

Try it. :)

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What Is The Meaning Of Life?

Tina Su — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 20:07:07 +0000

Photo by Simon Pais

By Tina Su

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the meaning of life and the impermanent nature of it all. Observing how we do what we do, the struggles we put ourselves through, the drama, the pain and the suffering.

While thoughts about life, death and purpose drift in and out of my consciousness on a regular basis, the seed of this post was planted, when Pooja sent me a link to “The Last Post” by Derek Miller.

I was just getting on a flight when I opened that link on my phone, and by the time I had finished reading it, tears were streaming down. I spent the rest of that flight, and weekend reflecting on the meaning of life.

“What is the point of life, when we come to the end?” I wondered.

I mean, when I look around, I see a lot of struggling—in my own life and in the lives of others. It seems like, even though there’s an abundance of goodness in our lives, the prevalent theme seems to be this struggle to find balance, peace and happiness.

“What is the meaning of it all? What is the purpose of life?” I asked silently in the privacy of my thoughts.

I pondered this as I sat uncomfortably in the middle seat, squished between my husband on my right—who was napping in the aisle seat—and an annoying guy to my left—who was playing a distracting driving game, in which his iPad was used as the steering wheel, causing him to move wildly about his seat.

I looked away towards the empty space along the aisle to my right, so that my distracting neighbor was no longer in my peripheral. I reflected on my own experiences—particularly my own “blind” chase towards a more promising tomorrow.

Personal Reflections

“All this chasing for what?” I asked myself.

I race and I chase, all so that I can make more money, have more success, be more attractive, and hopefully be happier in some distant future when I’ve hit some superficial and randomly selected target.

But will that day ever arrive? You and I both know how this game goes: the wanting for more never ends; and happiness will always (unless we intervene) appear to be just a reach away, in “some day” land, when we’ve finished this project or have reached that goal.

We stride through life as if we will live forever. We treat time as a cheap commodity that we blindly waste. We become consumed by negativity. We hide behind victim stories.

We get stuck in jobs and relationships that we dislike. We distract ourselves with the noise of media and other people’s opinions. We compete over beauty, status and owning stuff. We buy into the empty promises of cosmetics and luxury products—all of which are illusions fabricated by marketers.

Unable to forgive, we hold on to the pain and we blame people, things, and circumstances for our unhappiness. We surround ourselves with anxiety, stress and depression. Failing to recognize that these “dis-eases” and uncomfortable emotions are our soul’s way of saying, “Wake up! It’s time for a change, baby. This isn’t working.”

We give up our dreams, our art, our purpose, and trade our lives in exchange for money so that we can make a living. While making money to sustain our needs is inevitable, in the making of a living we sometimes forget our unique gifts, we temporarily lose touch with the enormity of our inner being, and we distance ourselves from the confidence of our unique expressions.

In a race to survive, we become mentally paralyzed—like a dove whose wings have been clipped and soon forgets that she can fly.

It’s all so exhausting.

It’s overwhelming.

There’s no end to the madness of chasing.

So many of us rush though life in this way, oblivious to the preciousness of whom we are and unaware of the beauty, wealth, abundance, love & opportunities that surrounds us.

And before we know it, the sands of our hourglass run out, and we face the end of our brief existence on this planet—unfulfilled and regretful for all that we’ve missed.

I know this may sound harsh, and it is. Viewing how we live in its blunt, naked candor can feel rough around the edges. Truth stings. At the same time, we can use this emotionally charged observation to our advantage—to inspire us and to move us such that we begin to live differently.

Derek Miller’s last Blog post is a gift for us. He reminds us of the impermanency of our human existence, and the preciousness of the time we have as living, breathing, creative beings.

It’s time to restructure (at least for me and my family) our lives. It’s time to restructure how we live, how we prioritize, how we contribute, and how we can live more fully in the precious moments we are blessed with.

Just now, as I type this, my husband came home after having taken our son to the park so that I could write this post. He opened my office door, and said, “Go see mama.” My son (18 months old) ran into my office with a smile so big that I was instantly love struck. The love my little boy radiated filled up the room.

Little Ryan charged into my arms at full speed. His little legs wrapped around my waist. His little hands draped around my neck. We hugged. I picked him up and said, “Oh, I love you booboo. Thank you for the hug.”

In that moment, I understood…

Perhaps, the only thing that matters is love.
Perhaps, all the chasing we do is just misdirected energy.
Perhaps, all the stress is unnecessary.
Perhaps, we are making life a lot more complicated than it needs to be.
Perhaps, it’s possible (and necessary) to forgive and to let go of our painful past.

Perhaps, there’s an easier route to happiness—by focusing on doing good work, contributing value to society, sharing joyful experiences with people we like, and remembering to slow down to savor the moments.

The Meaning of Life

So what is the meaning of life? What is the purpose of life?

I don’t think any single answer can be ubiquitously shared and be applicable for everyone. So I’ll answer for myself, from my current state of understanding.

I think the meaning of life is what ever meaning we give it—and we can literally give it any meaning that “feels right” to us. There’s a blank canvas in front of you. You are the artist of your life, and you are free to paint any picture that pleases you—and change it at any time for that matter.

What “feels right” to you? What do you want your life to mean? What do you want your life to be about?

I think the purpose of life is to discover what makes you happy, and then go do more of it. The most interesting answer I’ve heard to “What is the purpose of life?” came from my husband. He said:

“The purpose of life is to do what makes you come a live. When you stop, you die.”

For me, the answer is simple: (in addition to my family) learning and sharing about empowering topics—like all the content on his site—is on the top of that list.

So, what makes you come alive?

Parting Words on Life Meaning

I wrote and re-wrote this article over the past 4 weeks–cutting more than half the content down to the essentials. The point of this article can be summarized by the following:

Life is short.

Life is precious.

What are you dreaming about? Go do it. Go make it happen. Go do it despite fear and doubt and the opinions of others. Go do it, because it makes you happy. Go do it, because it makes you come alive.

Who are you holding a grudge against? Decide to forgive them, today, right now. Decide that you will heal, and decide to tell a different story. Give yourself permission to be free, because you are.

Where do you want to visit? Start planning for it, even if you don’t yet have the money. Keep moving in that direction, and I promise you that you will find a way.

Who do you love? When you’re with them, give them your full attention. Create the time and space to connect with them. Put love at the top of your list.

In the end, love is all that matters. Love for our selves, for other people, for our work, for all the unique experiences of life.

Life is simple, but we insist on making it complicated. Let’s make it simple again, by focusing on what matters.

–Tina
June 13, 2011 Seattle, USA
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Discover You Now (NEW)

My first in-depth writing is done. I’m working on the details for a public launch. It will be released on very soon.

The digital guide is Discover You Now. The guide was originally intended to be an expanded edition of the article “Life on Purpose: 15 questions to discover your personal mission”. The guide will walk you through the exact process I personally use to:

Find your life purpose
Create your personal mission statement
Discover your deepest values
Overcome your fears
Discover how to make a living with your passions
Achieve any goal
Complete any project

Additionally, the guide will come with over $90 worth of bonuses.

If you’ve connected with any of my writing, you will likely enjoy this. The guide is a digital workshop, where you will learn a lot about yourself. The limited-time pre-release price is $27 (After public release, this price will go up).

If you’d like to support me, please order the guide by clicking on the pink button below. You’ll be the first to receive the digital guide. Click here:

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

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