Archive for happiness
I’m Sorry, I Don’t Know, I Can’t …
Posted on 07.22.08 | 78 Comments
Photo: Vanessa PaxtonI find myself blurting out I don’t know as an instant answer to questions I don’t have immediate answers for. Lately, I’ve been noting how these simple words made me feel, and I’m starting to take notice that on some level, these casual words are effecting my emotions and self-esteem.
Saying I don’t know, I’m sorry, I can’t and “I don’t want to but have to” are slowly changing my mindset. Through my observations, I’ve noticed how common it is to use these popular phrases without giving them a second thought.
Do you find yourself saying the words I’m sorry or I don’t know often? Did you know that this over-sighted language pattern is actually limiting our potential to happiness and ultimately getting what we want?
Let’s have a closer look at each one and notice their effect in our internal mental space. Let’s, also, consider some alternative phrases we can use in their place, which are more conducive to our personal growth.
Before diving in, let’s point out a few things about our unconscious mind.
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20 Ways to Overcome Shyness
Posted on 07.01.08 | 281 Comments
Photo by Jordan Fraker. See more of his work here.Can you remember the last time you stepped into a room full of strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling rush over you? Or that heart thumping moment when you wanted to ask someone on a date, but were too shy to do so? Or wanting to approach someone for business, but was too hesitant to actually do it? That anxiety in the pit of your stomach in social situations? Does it always feel like something is holding you back?
Regardless of whether you are introverted or extraverted, we can all relate to that feeling of shyness at some point in our lives. Socially, we tend to have the misconception that only introverts experience shyness, but that is not true. Shyness has more to do with being uncomfortable with one’s self, especially around other people.
This article is the result of collaboration between Amanda Linehan, an introvert, and Tina Su, an extravert. Together, we wanted to shed some light on the topic of shyness in a collective perspective from both extremes. We will also share the ways that we used to turn shyness into personal empowerment.
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How to Find Passion in Your Job
Posted on 06.17.08 | 91 Comments
Photo by Kara PecknoldAre you in a stage of loving your life so much that you would pay money to live it? If not? What can you do about it? A common question asked is, “I really want to feel that way, but I’m just not passionate about anything. How do I find passion?”
A friend of mine asked me that question a few weeks ago. He has a high paying job and what appears to lead a full and fulfilling life, complete with volunteering and interesting hobbies. But he felt that something was still missing. He was looking for his purpose and genuinely wanted to find his passion. “I like a lot of things, but I don’t have any passions. How can I find passion, Tina?” This is a great question, and one that got me pondering about the topic. This article specifically looks at finding passion in your job.
This is part two of my notes from Professor Srikumar Rao‘s google talk, along with my personal thoughts on the topic. You can find part one here: How to Make Profound and Lasting Change.
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The Mini-Retirement Misconception
Posted on 05.14.08 | 102 Comments
Photo by Tina SuWhen I first learned of the mini-retirement concept, I was immediately attracted to the idea. To me it represented freedom. I had all these romantic notions associated with it, and when I found a way to take three months off from work, I jumped at the first chance and ran with it.
While traveling is an eye-opening experience and a chance to see how others live in vastly different cultures. It is exhausting, on many levels. It quickly became clear to me that the romantic concept of traveling is flawed.
I often ask people: if you had all the money in the world, what would you be doing? The most popular answer is: to quit my job and start Traveling. There’s nothing wrong with this answer, I too have given it many times. However, in this answer, we include the notion of escaping our current realities while longing for something else in its place. And when we actually get to that place which we’ve longed for, disappointments sets in, for it did not meet the expectations conjured by our imagination.
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The 7 Spiritual Laws of Success
Posted on 01.16.08 | 84 Comments
Photo: stock photo“The true standard of measurement for extraordinary outcomes
is that which brings extraordinary benefit and fulfillment
to me and to the lives of others. That’s success!“
- Steven K ScottYes, I experienced it, I really did; the intense feeling of true happiness and success. Not just temporarily, but extensively for an uninterrupted period of several months. This was simply the most significant ‘achievement’ of mine: finding clarity, peace and happiness in a hectic and high-demanding life. This phase took the entire first half of 2007 and I came out the other end with much insight and understanding about myself and my purpose.
I have never felt so complete and content as I did during this period. With the most rewarding being the absolute stillness I felt within myself and the understanding that we can be truly and absolutely happy with living a simple life with very little material possession. Now, if this is your first visit here, this may sound a little mystical and hand-wavy. No, I am not a hippy, nor am I religious. I am just a girl, going through life, seeking that which we are all seeking: happiness.
What is my secret to happiness and success?
(read more…)
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A Guide to Happiness via Self Forgiveness
Posted on 01.10.08 | 43 Comments
Photo: berlinetapes“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love.
In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness“
– Robert MullerDo you ever kick yourself in the butt? No, not literally, but psychologically?
Have you done things in the past that you’re not so proud of? Perhaps it was hurting someone’s feelings or for being dishonest?
What about times when you were mean to yourself? Perhaps when failing to meet all the expectations set by your perfectionist self, you beat yourself up for it? Even just a little?
Where do you think all these thoughts go? Most likely, they stag like clutter in your inner space. The natural tendency is to repeat this in our head, until we eventually get sick of thinking about it and burry it deep in our subconscious. It is still in there nonetheless, keeping us away from being fully happy.
A Road to Happiness
Popular personal development strategies are known for using tools to achieve goals and techniques to become ‘successful’. If we drilled deep into these topics, you will find that they are all trying to lead you down the same path; the path to happiness. A happiness filled with fulfillment, purpose and peace.
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How to Free Yourself from Guilt
Posted on 12.20.07 | 69 Comments
Photo: Zara JayEditor’s Note: This article was originally published on December 20, 2007, around the time this blog was born. Sometimes, older articles get buried and lost in the archives, but their advice is still applicable today.
As I transition into a full-time mom again, I recently experienced some guilt (more on that in a new post soon) and this articled helped to ground me with its gentle reminders to “Let go of the pain. It’s all an illusion. Set yourself free. Everything will be okay.” Enjoy the article!
By Tina Su
Have you recently felt guilty for something you didn’t do?
Perhaps, feeling guilty for not replying to emails? Guilty for not reaching all your goals for the day? Guilty for having spent hours browsing the web aimlessly and not having enough time to do something important? Guilty for telling someone you’d call, but never returning the call? Do you beat yourself up for it?
I’m definitely guilty of having felt guilty. :) I’m also guilty for the self-inflicted mental beating I give myself, afterwards.
Thoughts like these have the power to bring you down. They carry an energy that weighs down on your mind, because part of you is constantly thinking about it. The guilt begins popping up in everything you do. Do you get random tightness feeling in your stomach? A sort of nervousness that you just can’t seem to shake off?
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The 5 Myths of Positive Mental Attitude
Posted on 12.05.07 | 109 Comments
Photo by Children At Risk Foundation“A positive mental attitude is the starting point of all riches,
whether they be riches of a material nature or intangible riches.“
- Napoleon HillOkay, so there’s no myth that I am a positive person, or at least striving to be one. However, I am aware that I’m not positive all the time. I am continuously working to become conscientious of my choices, thoughts and reactions. I frequently get asked about positive thinking, and I wanted to first clear up some points of confusion.
Positive people are not living like Pollyanna in some dream world with no hold on reality. Positive people may have an attitude like Pollyanna, but they are not necessarily unrealistic. Positive person are very capable of understanding the reality of a cynic. They just change their mindset to see the reality from a different perspective.
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How to Be Naked like a Baby
Posted on 11.21.07 | 56 Comments
Photo by Matthew Bennion
… And Just as Happy
Why is it that once we become adults, we become so serious all the time (generally speaking). We get so caught up in the hectic race of everyday life that we forget that we are here to experience joy, to experience Life. We forget to smile and enjoy the beauty of the present moment. I notice that I fall into the many demands of my life story. Recently, I have gotten so busy that a week can pass without realizing. I don’t get the chance to slow down once to reflect and to be present. I seem to fall into the pattern of constantly living in the future, running after that next goal or achieving that next task on my never-ending list of Todos. Let’s take this moment to slow down, just for a few minutes.
Small children and family pets (dogs, cats) can serve as great ‘Zen’ teachers. Have you observed them before? Try it. It is so beautiful to watch the innocence of a small child, or a dog. They are so present in the moment, stress-free, open to their feelings and are a bundle of joy. I tell people that my dog Tommy is “made of love” because from observing him, he really is! A fluff of positive energy, which serves as a constant reminder to be positive in any situation and to not take things so seriously. Live life, enjoy the moment.
I also believe that child-like innocence and creativity have a direct connection. I work with lots of artists and creative people, and I have found that child-like innocence are very common among all of them. The purity, the openness, and the awareness of the present moment are clearly shown through interacting with each of them.
We can guide ourselves back to the inner child in us. You ready? Let’s first start with some common traits and characteristics of our cute little ‘Zen masters’: (read more…)
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9 Ways to Overcome Jealousy
Posted on 11.19.07 | 95 Comments
Photo by Ernie LandHave you ever felt yourself resenting another person just because of their perceived success? Do you hear yourself justifying their success with some trivial reason so that you can easily dismiss them (and consequently feel good about yourself)? Through my experiences, I have come to learn that this instinctive emotion is merely trying to protect our ego, by burying our inadequacies and insecurities. Our mind is at work protecting us in the comforts of our little cocoon shell. But to what benefit does it serve?
Not only is the feeling of jealousy not conducive for relationship building and effective communication, but it just doesn’t us feel very good. Can you relate? That uncomfortable tightness in your stomach? Why do we put ourselves through it?
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