Archive for relationships


  • Living Without Regret

    Posted on 01.16.11 | 12 Comments

    Living Without Regret by Walter Green

    Guest Post By Walter Green

    If someone who was important to you died abruptly, would you say to yourself, “I wish I would have . . .”? If something were to happen to you suddenly, wouldn’t you want those you care about to have known how much you appreciated them?

    If your answer to these questions is yes, then expressing your deep gratitude to those who have made a significant impact on your life should not be put off any longer. There are several good reasons to start expressing your appreciation to these people now.

    • The sooner you tell them how you feel, the longer they will be able have to take pleasure in the message. Why wait until they’re old or dying? If they do die, there’s no chance at all that they will ever fully appreciate your level of gratitude.
    • You could miss the opportunity of having the pleasure of giving this gift of extraordinary gratitude to someone who has made a real difference in your life.
    • They’ll probably be inspired to help others; in fact, the ripples may very well be felt far and wide, and all because you made these individuals aware of how important they are to you.

    I recently took my own gratitude journey and reached out to 44 people who had made the most significant impact on my life. I wanted to deliver my gratitude while I still had the energy and before it was too late and the opportunity was lost. I didn’t want to wait until any of our lives were compromised by ill health or imminent death. So I figured that I should tell these people how much they mattered to me long—hopefully, very long—before that happened and I was left with regrets.
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    Filed under: Gratitude, relationships   

  • When Couples Fight

    Posted on 12.13.10 | 58 Comments

    Editor’s Note: This article applies also to those not currently in a relationship.

    By Tina Su

    My husband and I had a fight over the weekend – on our date night, of all nights. We rarely fight, so when emotions escalated to shouting, I knew something had to change. I had to change. There was something to be learned here.

    The thing about when couples bicker is that both people feel that they are right. Both people feel that their point of view is rightfully justified. So we try to make the other person understand. When we are arguing, what we are essentially trying to do is to show the other person our side – to show them that we are right (and they are wrong).

    After all was said and done, underneath the problem on the surface, what we were really fighting for was to feel appreciated and validated. We, each in our own indirect way, were trying to let the other person acknowledge us, and to value what we contribute. But sometimes, we can be so stubborn.

    If you dissect all the fights we’ve had in the past with our significant others, and through observing our friends, I think the desire to feel appreciated and recognized is a common theme.

    What’s interesting is that in the heat of “battle”, when we are so consumed with wanting the other person to see our side, we become blind to recognizing the other person’s point of view – which is equally valid and understandable. It’s like trying to put out fire with more fire, you will just end up with a bigger fire.

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    Filed under: clarity, communication, relationships   

  • How to End Suffering

    Posted on 05.14.09 | 86 Comments

    suffering.jpg

    By Tina Su

    “While pain might be inevitable,
    the suffering that comes from the pain is not.
    Suffering is not a state of life, it is a state of mind.
    Suffering is your response to an event.
    Whether you suffer or not depends
    entirely on your reaction to that situation    .”
    ~ Paramahamsa Nithyananda (Swamiji)

    Today, I will get (more) personal.

    I’ve debated about whether or not to share this information in a post. It was a quiet battle between keeping my personal life somewhat private, and the intense desire to share the lessons from this important chapter of my life. In sharing, I’ve surrendered to my fear of being judged negatively by you – readers of Think Simple Now.

    My husband Jeremy was married once before. During the early stages of our romantic courtship, he was simultaneously battling the lingering ends of an unsettling divorce (things got ugly and someday I hope to share the details of this tale with you – perhaps in a book). Suffice it to say, it felt like it was never going to end.

    For about six months, my inner stillness was disturbed and stirred up by the negative feelings revolving around this event. My “pain body” came crawling out in full, front-and-center view, and stayed with me while causing unnecessary suffering.

    Even when his divorce was finally over, I didn’t feel much better. The feelings of resentment and hate (however subtly in my subconscious) for his ex-wife remained for another three months after the fact – until two weeks ago to be exact.

    This article isn’t about forgiveness or complaining about my own self-inflicted pains, but it is about personal freedom. The kind of freedom from the massive mountain of stories we’ve piled onto ourselves that result in suffering.

    Are you experiencing anything that is causing you worry, heartache, resentment or stress? If so, continue to read and allow me to share the story of my new found freedom… and how I got there.

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  • Yup, I Got Hitched!

    Posted on 02.26.09 | 93 Comments


    tina-jeremy-kauai.jpg
    Photo: Emily Helen, Best Kauai Wedding Photographer

    By Tina Su

    On Feb 12th at 4pm, under the warm glow of the afternoon sun and feeling the refreshing sea breeze, I got married to Jeremy on the beautiful Moloa’a beach in a small and intimate ceremony administered by my dad, on the island of Kauai, Hawaii. (photos here)

    It is true what they say. Love comes when you’re least expecting it…. At least, that’s what happened to me.

    Here is the tale of my love story and what I’ve learned – from finding love, to planning the big day.

    Section 1: The Courtship

    My Romance Journey

    I have been a serial dater (that’s right!) for most of my early and mid twenties. In a quest to find self acceptance and approval through others, I had gotten into relationships for many of the wrong reasons: fear of being alone, financial and emotional security, reputation, feeling successful by association, casual sex that turned into committed relationships with the wrong people, etc.

    In the game of finding love, I did well on the surface, but I resented the power it had over me. I would bounce back and forth between hating the dating game and vowing that I shall stay single, and staying up until 2am compulsively browsing dating profiles in an act of desperation.

    I felt truly lost.

    (read more…)



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    Filed under: relationships, updates   

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