31 Life Lessons in 31 Years

Photo by Simon Pais & Vero Monaco

By Tina Su

“Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment …”
~Thich Nhat Hanh

Today, I turn 31.

When I was little, I used to think people in their 30s were really old. Now that I’m in my 30s, that perspective has quickly shifted.

Standing where I am today, I still feel like a little kid, except I’m doing my best in playing the part of an adult–trying to fit in with other grown-ups, and subsequently hiding the little kid within.

Having been obsessed with the topic of happiness and personal development over the past seven years (holy crap!), I feel like I’m becoming more and more in touch with the little kid inside–honest, candid, and established in love.

It is in the innocent wonder and the in-this-moment presence of the child where lies the secret to happiness.

Here are 31 life lessons I’ve learned, standing here today as a (slightly wiser) 31-year-old.

31 Life Lessons

1. It’s okay to make mistakes. Mistakes and failures are there to teach us. If we learn from them and correct the way on our path, better things will result from it.

2. We create our own reality. We have the power to break mental patterns that no longer serve us, and we have the power to consciously choose thoughts that empower us. It’s only a matter of breaking old habits and creating new ones.

3. Finding validation and seeking love from another person through relationships is a self-destructive path. Those types of relationships never last, and when they end, they burn in heartache. You must love and respect yourself first. When you wholeheartedly love who you are, the world will fall in love with you, and the right relationship will fall into place. Until I fully accept, love and respect myself, I will continue to attract those relationships rooted in fear, insecurities and disempowerment.

4. A few moments of silence each day will broaden your horizon, strengthen your self-awareness, and heighten your inner clarity. With clarity, you can do anything.

5. You will never be ready for what you want to do. The trick is to just start it anyway, and to develop the discipline to work at it consistently. Taking baby steps in the direction you want to go means that you will eventually get there.

6. Life is short. Live it the way that will make you happy.

7. Change creates resistance. We don’t like change and we will always gravitate towards what is familiar because familiarity keeps us feeling safe. But sometimes, change is good for us. In fact, change is inevitable. Change is the only thing that is for certain. Embrace change.

8. Don’t be afraid to dream. Dreams create the vision that governs the story of our lives. Our dreams create our future. Dream big. Remember #6, life is short.

9. Money is a renewable resource. If you lose some money, don’t sweat it. You can always make more. However, if you spend valuable time stressing over money, or lost opportunity, you’ll never get that time back. Time is more valuable than money.

10. Fear comes from uncertainty of the unknown. It happens to all of us. It is part of the natural mechanisms for our survival. Its job is to keep us safe. You can never suppress fear, nor ignore fear, nor cure fear. The trick is to fully embrace fear by simply acting despite the feeling of fear. When you’ve fully faced fear and experienced it, the fear will subside.

11. Self-doubt, like fear, seeks everyone. You are no exception. Just do it anyway.

12. Time is the most important resource in the world. It is the only non-renewable resource in your life. Choose wisely how you spend time, and with whom you spend it.

13. Less is more. Say less, listen more. Own less things, and you’ll experience more freedom.

14. The people with whom you spend time matter. They influence you in unconscious ways, both positive and negative. Your income is the average of the three people with whom you spend the most time. Your potential to achieve greatness can be limited by the negative influence of the opinions of the people around you. Similarly, if all your friends were living self-empowered and awesome lives, wouldn’t that rub off on you to live extraordinarily? Choose your friends carefully.

15. We really don’t need very much (stuff) to be happy.

16. The most important thing we can do is to love ourselves. By making self-love a priority, everyone and everything we care about will be better because of it. We become better parents, employees, lovers, friends and contributing members of society.

17. Learn to let go. Surrender to what is happening right now. Fully embrace and experience this moment, regardless of what this moment holds. Like all moments, this moment too shall pass.

18. People are really kind and helpful if you give them a chance. Be open to receiving without feeling the need to “pay them back.” Let others know what they’ve provided for you, and how much you appreciate their help. Fully receiving what someone else has to offer is a gift in itself.

19. We are stronger and more resilient than we think we are.

20. The most damaging influence in our lives is the limiting beliefs we hold about ourselves. It’s the unexamined limiting beliefs that cause us to sabotage our success, sell ourselves short, and limit our own potential to living extraordinary lives. If you are not achieving the kinds of results you want in your life, sit down with a journal and examine your beliefs.

21. Complaining, criticizing and gossiping is a waste of time and saps your energy.

22. Being a victim is a lot easier than being a leader. Leaders take responsibility and own up to their part in the doing. Leaders take action to change themselves and to overcome setbacks. Victims refuse to take responsibility for their own actions and emotions. Victims would rather sit back passively and give their power away by placing blame on an external trigger. Be the leader of your life. You are the only one capable of the job. Take responsibility of your own emotions. The world needs more leaders.

23. Forgiving someone is a lot easier than we think. When we forgive, we are setting ourselves free. Forgiveness is not about other people; it’s about letting the pain go in our own minds.

24. It’s easy to find fault in others–much easier than seeing fault in ourselves. How we view the world is a reflection of how we view ourselves, and this gives us insight to our internal thought patterns. Next time you catch yourself complaining about some fault in others, ask yourself, “What is it about myself, in relation to this topic, that I don’t like?”

25. Naps are good. It’s okay to sleep in, sometimes. We need rest to recharge. Staying up late into the night is bad for our bodies, and we pay the price with our health.

26. There is always a silent and graceful solution to every problem. When feeling nervous, stressed or anxious, stop everything and take three deep breaths. Or better yet, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Try the mantra “I am safe. All is well.”

27. Master creations in the arts (writing, drawing, music, dance, even software programming) are the result of someone’s love of the process of creation. Masterpieces are never created as a result of someone trying to be brilliant. Get out of your head and get into your heart. Stop overthinking! Just relax, start creating and fall into the flow. Focus on what you are doing without being concerned with what other people will think. Create for the sake of creation. Create out of love of the process, and you just might find that your resulting creation turns out to be a masterpiece.

28. When you passionately and genuinely believe in something, it will change you. You will embody the energy of your passion, and the world will notice the light that you shine. When you believe in yourself, others will believe in you, too.

29. Learn to say no. If you don’t want to do something—go to a party, accept an obligation, meet someone—just say “no, thank you.” You don’t owe anyone an excuse or explanation.

30. Giving unsolicited advice to others—regardless of how much you feel that they need it—is a waste of time and energy. Unless your advice was specifically requested, what you say will not be heard or appreciated. Unsolicited advice is perceived as annoying. Don’t do it.

31. Slowing down to self-reflect, to contemplate, to sit quietly, to journal, to breathe, or to clear your mind will actually make you more productive than if you worked until you collapsed. Slowing down has more benefits than just a clear mind; one side effect is a happier life.

Bonus Life Lessons

I started with a big list of life lessons, then I started trimming until I was left with 31. The following are additional important life lessons I couldn’t leave on the editing floor:

1. People will not change no matter how badly you want them to. People will only change if they want to. Instead of trying to change others, change yourself. Change your perception about the person, and allow them to be themselves, without you trying to change them.

2. We are not alone. No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic we feel about our own situation, there will be others out there experiencing the same emotions. When you hear yourself say “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie so you will continue to feel sorry for yourself.

3. We are the only ones who can solve our own problems. We are the only ones who can change ourselves. We are the only ones who can choose to see the good, to see hope, to pick ourselves up, and to accept help. We must rely upon and trust ourselves.

4. My body knows what I need. Sometimes, I get sick because my body is trying to get my attention. Its message is usually something like this: relax, recharge, you’re working too much, drink water, exercise and get more sleep. When I get sick, I listen to my body’s messages and I heal.

5. Watch my language. The words I use to describe my experiences carry with it more power than I can consciously fathom. Saying that “I Can’t” do something has a profound effect on my beliefs about what is possible. It can limit my potential or empower me with possibilities. Choose your words carefully.

6. Help other people get what they want. You will be rewarded not only financially, but also with the priceless reward of fulfillment.

7. Trying to be right is a waste of time and energy. I would rather be happy than right.

8. Drink lots of water.

9. When you want something and you ask for it, you will more likely get it. Don’t be afraid to ask.

10. Within each of us lies a vast well of wisdom. It is a source within the depth of our soul which connects to infinite intelligence and the capacity to heal all our wounds. To access this source and to hear its messages, we must slow down, quiet our minds and go within. Only in the stillness of our being can we recognize the soft ripples of our inner voice and intuition. Learn to trust it. It is always right.

“The day is ending, our life is one day shorter.
Let us look carefully at what we have done.
Let us practice diligently,
…Putting our whole heart into the path…
Let us live deeply each moment in freedom,
So time does not slip away meaninglessly.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh

Last night, my husband Jeremy smiled and said, “Let’s dedicate the next year to a year of happiness.” (I’m paraphrasing. What he actually said was really moving, and much longer. This was the gist of it.) He said this because this time last year I had spent the day crying and was barely able to scrape myself off the floor.

We’ve come a long way. I am thankful.

I smiled back and said, “Let’s do that! That’s a great idea.”

Here’s to a year (and a life time) dedicated to happiness–where we shall focus on the good in our lives, cut out gossiping and criticizing others, create healthy habits, work on meaningful projects, dream about future creations, go on dates and spent more quality time as a family.

If I had to choose, the most important life lesson is summarized to this: Life is so short. What’s happened is already in the past. The future is here for us to create. The power is in this moment. In this moment, we have the choice to create painful memories from the past, or we can create a beautiful tomorrow. You have that power.

A beautiful life is closer than we think. It’s already here … if we choose to see it.

After all, Twenty-four brand new hours are before me, what joyful experiences will I choose next?

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66 Responses (64 Comments, 2 Trackbacks ):

Comments

1. Michael

   Apr 23 11, 1:59 am PDT

   1

   Happy Birthday Tina and thank you for the wonderful article… its speaking to me on many levels..

2. Esra

   Apr 23 11, 1:59 am PDT

   2

   Happy birthday Tina! Wishing your 31th and all of your upcoming years become the years of happiness:)

   By the way 23th of April is celebrated in Turkey as “International Children’s Day”

   On April 23, children from around the world come to Turkey. They are hosted by families who have children of a similar age. Many children, often not even speaking the same language, create lifelong friendships.

   Every year on April 23, the seats of Parliament are held by children, and a child becomes President for a day. The child President delivers a speech on national television:)

   So let the little kid within you to be the president of your life today:)

   Loves!
   Esra

3. Winnie

   Apr 23 11, 2:46 am PDT

   3

   Happy birthday, Tina. Thank you for writing all your beautiful blog posts. I actually wrote a similar post yesterday (http://defragment.me/thoughts/turning-30) to mark myself turning 30 a couple of weeks ago. It never fails to amaze me how synchronistic the Universe can be.

4. Jon

   Apr 23 11, 3:12 am PDT

   4

   Happy Birthday Tina

   I think this is the best post I’ve read in a long time. It just seems to have hit the spot with me today.

   I really like the idea of creating a year of happiness.

   Thankyou. Take care and enjoy your day.

5. Michael Griffin

   Apr 23 11, 4:22 am PDT

   5

   Dear Tina Su, I loved your article. I am now 58, lived according to many of your insights and am happy, successful, and vibrant. Two insights: Only you limit your opportunities as you age. Living positively leads to a more and more fulfilling life. secondly, a question, how does God play a role in your life? I personally have been blessed by God and his graciousness. Thanks for sharing! Mike Griffin

6. Sion Dayson @paris (im)perfect

   Apr 23 11, 5:03 am PDT

   6

   I just came across your blog as a tip from Twitter. So glad I did! Happy birthday! These lessons are vital, vibrant, and pulsing with life. I’m 32 and feel something like a child/woman. In full wonder at the world; also feeling my strength as an empowered person in it. So much of what you said resonated with me.

   Thanks for your clear insights.

7. Jacqueline Way

   Apr 23 11, 6:26 am PDT

   7

   Thank you Tina! Just the list I needed. I never thought I would be middle aged (in my early 40′s) and I’m loving it. With age comes wisdom and you have shared great wisdom with us. Happy birthday. The world is a better place because you were born.

8. To0sin Matti

   Apr 23 11, 7:05 am PDT

   8

   Happy Birthday Tina

9. Lily

   Apr 23 11, 9:25 am PDT

   9

   Hi Tina,

   Thanks for sharing these lessons, and all the other lessons you regularly share on your blog.

   “I feel like I’m becoming more and more in touch with the little kid inside–honest, candid, and established in love.” <– I feel the same way. As I've been growing these last two years, I find myself feeling younger, lighter and freer. It's a strange and delightful feeling.

   I'm so grateful for the experiences you've shared, which has helped me rediscover the joy of being myself and to grow more into the person that I really am.

   My warmest wishes for your new year :)

   - Lily

10. Laura

    Apr 23 11, 9:45 am PDT

    10

    Happy birthday, Tina!
    Thanks for the insightful reminders… I have the naps down, still working on all the others ;)

11. Rahi

    Apr 23 11, 10:16 am PDT

    11

    If I live my passion simply, naturally, everything falls into place.There is nothing to strive for, work towards, achieve. Just doing whatever I love and enjoy doing has its own profound rewards that are much larger than what I had dreamed of. And it all happens so effortlessly…so gracefully…so wisely…

    Thank you,Tina, for sharing 31 shining nuggets and so much more. May Her Grace descend on you and radiate through you. Love you, dear.

12. Matt

    Apr 23 11, 10:41 am PDT

    12

    Hi Tina. Happy Birthday!
    This post is amazing. I know that everyone can take something from this. There are so many wonderful tips. I will definitely bookmark this, come back to it, and figure out how to maintain these 31(+10) tips!

    The one that I could really relate to the most:
    “When you want something and you ask for it, you will more likely get it. Don’t be afraid to ask.”

    Taking action and being assertive is absolutely important in this world. If you want something, you have to stand up for your own needs and ask! Sure they could say no, but they could say yes too!

    When you aren’t afraid to ask, things open up. Opportunities open up. Life opens up.

    -Matt (I’m only in my 20s, so reading this has given me valuable knowledge and insight)

    Thanks for this post :)

13. Winifred

    Apr 23 11, 10:44 am PDT

    13

    Happy birthday Tina!

14. Lucy

    Apr 23 11, 11:29 am PDT

    14

    Happy birthday to u
    :)

15. BRR

    Apr 23 11, 12:30 pm PDT

    15

    Happy Birthday

16. Chritopher

    Apr 23 11, 9:44 pm PDT

    16

    Happy Birthday Tina! ..

    I’m 41 and will take this as “31 Life Lessons Forever”

17. Will Jackson

    Apr 24 11, 1:44 pm PDT

    17

    I like a lot of the advice, but the oft heard advice to “love yourself” doesn’t sit well with me. What I’m least happy about myself is my self-centeredness. It seems I would be happier taking my focus off myself and loving God and others.

18. Lawrence

    Apr 25 11, 6:29 am PDT

    18

    Great article & wisdom. Thanks for the wonderful sharing. May you have more good years ahead!

19. Shannon | Fibro Warrior

    Apr 25 11, 6:38 am PDT

    19

    Happy Birthday Tina! Thank you so much for sharing your pearls of wisdom with the rest of us. Our lives are definitely better with people like you in them!

20. Meg

    Apr 25 11, 10:40 am PDT

    20

    Hi Tina,

    Thanks for sharing this great post. It spoke to me on many levels – mostly because I, too, just celebrated my birthday. I decided to take the day to reflect on myself and dedicate the next year to being happier. Along the way I am collecting little nuggets of wisdom. This post is chock-full of them! I am so happy to know I am not the only one who sees birthdays as a time to reflect on what I’ve learned so far.

    Oh, and Happy Birthday! Even if a birthday is hard, hearing those little words can be so nice. I hope yours is a good one.

    Meg

21. Elsa

    Apr 26 11, 4:38 am PDT

    21

    Happy Birthday Tina :)

    May there be many more, and may you indeed have a year ahead filled with HAPPINESS and all your heart’s desires. Wishing you & your family all the best.

    Thanks for another wonderful article, filled with tips which I will journal over…

    Love Elsa

22. Tanya

    Apr 26 11, 4:42 am PDT

    22

    For me, this was one of your best posts. Thanks Tina.

23. Gaukhar

    Apr 26 11, 5:07 am PDT

    23

    Lovely Tina!!!

    Happy birthday to the most amazing and beautiful woman: mother, wife, muse!

    These lessons are like… life guidance, so true, so real, so enlightened!
    Thank you!!!

    Everyone should print them out and remind oneself every word you wrote

    WE LOVE YOU!!!!

24. Guna

    Apr 26 11, 7:00 am PDT

    24

    Happy Birthday Tina )-

    Keep doing the good work!!!

25. Natalie

    Apr 26 11, 7:21 pm PDT

    25

    Happy Birthday Tina!

    Hope you had a fun time celebrating. May the path that lies ahead be as bright as the light that shines from within.

26. Priya S

    Apr 27 11, 6:54 am PDT

    26

    Happy Birthday Tina,

    Hope you enjoy your day to the fullest like every moment.. The 31 lessons were really gave me a reflection about my life. Thanks for sharing. There is so much going on right now with me words can’t describe but each day I hold my head up high and taking on the challenge and appreciating what new day brings! Have a good one! take care!

27. Katie @ Be Extraordinary Today

    Apr 27 11, 7:06 am PDT

    27

    Happy Birthday, Tina! So many great, and inspiring, life lessons here. I try to live this one: Don’t be afraid to dream. Dreams create the vision that governs the story of our lives. Our dreams create our future. Dream big. Remember #6, life is short.

28. Connie

    Apr 28 11, 10:59 pm PDT

    28

    Tina,
    I changed my life completely at 30, having learned through exposure to some very wise friends and more education that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I believed in so many of the things that you have written above…and still do. But I delayed some of my own advancement by
    not forgiving people I left behind who were intent on trying to keep me “chained down” to their level, unhappy, no freedom of thought, and, worst of all, no dreams. Because of that, I also attempted to help some people who had no intention of helping themselves, and, in fact, tried to pull me down into the muck with them. It took a few years of setbacks, losses and depression to get back on the road again.
    I find that I like myself much better alone…I have a friend or two, some distance away, as is family….and I no longer think about what they think about me. I love them, despite whatever faults or problems they may have…I help them if I can, but if I can’t, I just say “No, I’m sorry.” I have several acquaintances in my new city and state of residence, only time will tell if some of them turn out to be friends.
    But having been so badly burned in my previous state (where I lived for 55 years), I tend to react with extreme sensitivity (just as I do with churches) and some of them will never be counted as friends. I tend to be very giving to my friends, whether it is time, a possession or whatever help I can be, without expectation of return or replacement.
    But, if I am in some sort of bad spot, I look for a true friend to see it and offer So far I haven’t seen much of that…so I am not worrying much about making close friends here.
    I am happier about being at peace with myself and getting truly settled in…and starting to write here and there again. First just in a journal and now to you….Many years have passed since I first moved away to change my life at 30. So many things have happened, both good and bad, all of them a learning experience…But, most of all, I learned, just as you did (at a much younger age)…life is too short, so live it and enjoy it while you can. One word about the Past, it is dead and gone, no matter how much time you waste worrying, wondering and stressing over it, you can never get it back and you can’t do it over…SO LET IT GO. Just learn from it, enjoy today and prepare for the promise of tomorrow. Take it from someone who started with the best of intentions, highest ideals and slipped on a slippery slope along the way.

29. Zen Lesbian

    Apr 29 11, 11:38 am PDT

    29

    Happy Birthday! I just found your site through twitter while I was trying to reach out to the world.
    Very authentic reflection.

    Thanks!
    Z.L.

30. The Vizier

    Apr 29 11, 8:42 pm PDT

    30

    Hi Tina,

    Being the same age as you, I too share your views about how little we know the older we get. In fact, as we get older, we realize how large the world really is. I love the life lessons you shared especially the ones about how we should learn from our mistakes and failures. This was one of the turning points in my life as I learned the true path to success. I also liked the bit about limiting beliefs and how we should manage them better.

    As for the life lessons I would like to add, it is this. In life there will be many people who will give us advice on what we should do and how we should act. I believe it is well and good to listen carefully to advice because there is much we do not know and we can benefit for guidance. But we must always remember to come to our own conclusions and decide for ourselves how to act. If we do not take responsibility for our own lives and follow the advice of others blindly, it will only lead to disaster.

    Thank you for sharing this lovely article! :)

    Irving the Vizier

31. TariqnShaheera

    May 02 11, 12:21 am PDT

    31

    Hi Tina!

    We are glad that we got to know you and your inspiring blog!

    Happy belated birthday!

    Thank you for sharing the wonderful life lessons with us in here and we can really relate them to ours too. We love the number 9 lesson. Yes, we agree that money is a renewable resource, in fact we, human must know that we have opposite attraction to money. We just learned about the pole of money and poles of human. Money only has a pole called “rushing” pole which it keeps rushing towards human. Whereas, human has “relaxed” & “rushing” poles. If we were to apply “rushing” pole, money will not come to us, it will only get attracted to “relaxed” pole. :)

    We hope we have shared new information and lesson with other readers in here too. Again, thank you for sharing your stories and lessons with us.

    Cheers!

32. Chris Barba

    May 03 11, 7:05 am PDT

    32

    Happy Birthday Tina!

    There is SO much wisdom in this post. Item after item, I think to myself, remember this one! Love yourself, embrace fear, learn to let go..limiting beliefs, less is more…this list really goes with its enlightening lessons on for all 31 items!

    So many people are at so many different points in their life reading your posts and yet you always seem to reach out to each and everyone. You have a wonderful way of doing that.

    Cheers!

33. Connie

    May 03 11, 7:54 am PDT

    33

    Just something I forgot to add in my first post…Have a very Happy Birthday, with many more to come,

    You seem to have a good grip on things, so I think your future will be very bright!

34. Nea | Self Improvement Saga

    May 03 11, 4:40 pm PDT

    34

    I hope your birthday was a wonderful one, Tina. Thanks for sharing your awesome life lessons.

35. Love Moments Love Life

    May 03 11, 6:29 pm PDT

    35

    Tina, I really loved reading the 31 lessons and the bonus one’s too :) I’m turning 30 this coming Jan & it’s so inspiring to learn from you. Thanks for being the guiding light!

36. Oduori sylus

    May 05 11, 2:58 am PDT

    36

    With such life lesson, i feel my life transformed. Transformation is all ever wanted but just couldn’t reach my hand to it, but now i feel i got it

37. Jimmy

    Jun 07 11, 8:03 pm PDT

    37

    happy belated!

    just read the article – as enlightening as always =)
    keep it up

38. Anne

    Jun 30 11, 7:41 am PDT

    38

    Hi Tina,
    Don’t forget about the earth and your connection to it-some call it grounding. When feeling fear or stress, feel that connection to the earth that supports all of us and your perspective will change. When feeling happiness, have a sense of your connection to the planet and it will be magnified.

    I loved your post. Happy Birthday.

39. angie

    Jul 01 11, 12:31 am PDT

    39

    Life lesson: you’re never too old to go outside and play

40. Taryn

    Jul 12 11, 3:26 pm PDT

    40

    Hi,

    I was amazed to see someone else at 31 evaluating all the lessons they have learned. I too have set out on a quest to embrace 32 important lessons by the time I turn 32. And also set out on this journey in coming to the realization of how short and precious life can be. It is wonderful to know I am not the only one searching for meaning. Thank you!

41. Antara khan

    Jul 19 11, 8:15 am PDT

    41

    This was inspiring. I am 14 and I have yet alot to learn. It’s true life is short and we should live it the way it will make us happy :)

42. Reeti

    Sep 28 11, 4:05 am PDT

    42

    This article maybe quite old Tina.. but I have just got to it now and couldnt resist to comment how beautiful these lessons are! I stumbled upon TSN when doing some soul searching and so glad to have crossed paths:)! Keep writing keep inspiring!
    Cheers!

43. tohid

    Oct 29 11, 5:23 am PDT

    43

    hi . nice post . i think that my time spended well when i was reading this.

44. elecy

    Jan 26 12, 1:06 am PDT

    44

    just awesome lessons…hope u had a great bday bash..

45. bubi

    Feb 18 12, 10:23 pm PDT

    45

    Awesome! i really lve your article.

46. Evi

    Mar 12 12, 2:22 am PDT

    46

    Great lessons Tina!
    Thank you so much for sharing them with us!
    Your words are very empowering!

47. Douglas W. Palme

    Mar 12 12, 11:47 am PDT

    47

    Wow,
    Now I wished I had taken the time to write something like this when I was 31 :) Excellent article, poignant advice for any age group.

    I was especially taken with “8. Don’t be afraid to dream.”
    When we stop dreaming, we stop living. Success comes from not just hard work but desires and desires originate from dreams.

    I would make this article required reading of every incoming freshman in college today, the value of this information would last them a lifetime.

48. Ava

    Apr 17 12, 9:59 pm PDT

    48

    tina, i love these. thank you for this article and all the others. you have brought so much wonder and joy back into my life.

49. Kapil

    Apr 23 12, 8:22 am PDT

    49

    Hi Tina,

    I stumbled on this article and it’s just what I needed.
    I share your birthday and today, I turn 31.

    You are right…somehow, something just clicks and you start becoming more honest and candid with yourself. I have stopped brooding and started giving, feeling more in love with life everyday. These 31 will be my mantra; especially: “Trying to be right is a waste of time and energy. I would rather be happy than right.”

    Thanks for a wonderful post…and have great birthday!

50. Kiefer

    Jun 15 12, 11:37 pm PDT

    50

    Tina! You Rocked it <3

51. softwaretestingclass

    Jun 19 12, 11:09 am PDT

    51

    Ohh wow it nice sharing your experience..

52. jewel

    Aug 12 12, 7:00 pm PDT

    52

    What a great list of life lesson you’ve got here! I can mostly relate myself to each and every one of it. Thanks for sharing =)

53. Prince

    Sep 04 12, 12:17 am PDT

    53

    Dear Tina
    This is the fourth time I’m reading this article though, I didn’t comment in the first three times I read and I’m ready to comment on it now.
    This is the best article I have read so far. It is very inspiring and encouraging. Whenever I feel discouraged, I try as much as possible to read this article and my spirit mind will be lifted. I love your lessons about life and I prefer the points on ‘dreaming big’ ‘loving oneself’ ‘keeping silence’ ‘learning to forgive to set oneself free’ and ‘the precious nature of time’
    when I started my relationship site, I was discouraged at a particular time when things appeared difficult but with the fact that I dream big, hope and loved what I was doing, I moved on and now, the rate at which the site is growing is amazing. I sincerely appreciate your efforts and you remain the best.

    so far so good, I have come to realize that life is more about what we say to ourselves, what we love doing, determination and preparing yourself a time table. in fact, it will be very difficult to succeed without the above listed facts about life.
    what we say to ourselves: we really have to be very positive to ourselves and others. Our tongue is very powerful and unique. many relationship is facing difficult times today simply because of what the partners involved said to each other during strategic moments of their lives such as moments of anger. Have w e ever wonder why when we say sweet things to our partners they tend to do their best? You see, when you praise someone or say something positive to someone, the person is pushed to do better. We can kill and as well give life with the power of our tongue.
    if we fail to engage in what we love doing, we are bound to failing in life. I can testify that it is really hard to figure what one love doing. This is because there are many things that influences what we love doing. That which we love doing remains that which find difficult and lazy doing but each time we eventually do it, people usually go ‘waoo’ ‘great’ ‘you are amazing’ etc. Even if that which we did was little or seemed nothing to us. we have to embrace on this to move on and be happy in this life.
    Determination to succeed is very important about life. if we study historical books and the stories of highly successful people in the past and present, we will discover that they were very determined to move on above all. Priority in building your determination in whatever you seek for.
    scale of preference: This aspect of life is what I call the strategic planning. This is what life is all about. Even in the secret of finding your perfect match, scale of preference is important. It will help you know your most important priority.
    Once again Tina, I must say a VERY BIG THANK YOU for such an incredible article. WELL DONE TINA. Tina, I think these two links I’m sharing below are very useful and interesting, I wrote them. one is on how to find true love and the other is the most popular love poem in my site:
    http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com/2012/03/how-to-find-true-love.html#.UEWp43XepZs
    http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com/2012/05/love-peom.html#.UEWqynXepZs

54. Tina Su

    Sep 04 12, 10:08 am PDT

    54

    You are very welcome @Prince.

    Thank you for sharing your thought here.. reading it made my day! :)

    Love,
    Tina

55. byhard

    Sep 20 12, 12:43 am PDT

    55

    Wonderful article. People should think more about life, work, study, and peoples. what is the life? Maybe the whole life is to find the answer. Best wishes.

56. MVL

    Oct 12 12, 8:47 am PDT

    56

    A timely article for me as I turn 31 in just over a week and I am guilty of wasting my time procrastinating and selling myself short based on my own irrational thoughts and fears. I really needed to find a way to move forward with my life and get on with living my dreams for myself and my children. This article is a great first step along that road for me, thank you!

57. Five

    Oct 15 12, 9:18 am PDT

    57

    I recently started studying math in a university. And I don’t understand almost anything. I study a couple of hours a day and I still can’t do most of my homework, even though most of the people in my group do it without any problems. And it’s only been two mere weeks, which means a LOT more difficult stuff is on the way. So how am I supposed to love myself, if I can’t learn math, the only thing I thought I was good at? I suck at everything else, I don’t understand physics, I have always been the worst in sports, and, most importantly, I almost can’t open my mouth when talking to someone who isn’t a person very close to me. So why should I love someone like that? Good will and high morality won’t let me survive in this stupid world. Your life lessons are useless. “Oh, come on, you are perfect, just like everything else in this world”. And being happy rather than right almost made me laugh. It’s like “stop thinking, let others choose for you, fit in to what is required of you, and then you’ll be happy”. I’d rather be right and free, than happy in this way.

58. yssubramanyam

    Nov 02 12, 4:12 pm PDT

    58

    exceptional.

59. Luke

    Dec 17 12, 4:49 pm PDT

    59

    Wow, that was really beautiful. Thank you

60. Nikhil

    Dec 21 12, 6:50 pm PDT

    60

    AMAZING STUFF!!!

    THANKS FOR SHARING.

61. Randy

    Apr 18 13, 1:23 pm PDT

    61

    Thank you..

    I hope it’s enough for me to be woken by 24 chances..
    Instead of 24 doubts..

    Perhaps you will make a difference..
    Perhaps I will wake up not even remembering 31 lessons..

62. Laura

    Apr 28 13, 6:52 pm PDT

    62

    Your article has been mind-blowing, yet so gracefully simple. I am 31 years old, and I actually typed that age into the search engine. Maybe one of the most important things for me to do on this journey of self-help was to read your article. I can admit that with all of the wonderful empowering information I have read online, there was still something left out. Something worth reading that was not quite known completely, in my mind or in my heart, but apparently from your creative intelligence. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this. It takes time to help others and energy, like you mentioned. You pretty much summed up, what I needed to hear. As if you were right here speaking the words to me. I feel as if, I have to sike myself up all of the time. It’s so hard constantly trying to do that, especially when i’m always around negativity. I believe your helpful words have been such a gift and I just want you to know you really influenced me in such an amazing way. May God bless you and protect you always and forever! Laura Ann

63. Joanna

    Apr 29 13, 9:16 am PDT

    63

    Very valuable lessons… The freshest one for me is #30: don’t give unsolicited advice. Luckily I learned it when it was given to me. So its good to remember that when we offer that advice we insult the other person’s intelligence and imagination. They are on their path to grow. Of course we will always see more clearly what others do “wrong”. And that’s another lesson.

64. raadhi

    Apr 30 13, 9:42 am PDT

    64

    hai tina…in simple love u 4 who u r….

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