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20 Ways to Overcome Shyness

Photo by Jordan Fraker. See more of his work here.

Can you remember the last time you stepped into a room full of strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling rush over you? Or that heart thumping moment when you wanted to ask someone on a date, but were too shy to do so? Or wanting to approach someone for business, but was too hesitant to actually do it? That anxiety in the pit of your stomach in social situations? Does it always feel like something is holding you back?

Regardless of whether you are introverted or extraverted, we can all relate to that feeling of shyness at some point in our lives. Socially, we tend to have the misconception that only introverts experience shyness, but that is not true. Shyness has more to do with being uncomfortable with one’s self, especially around other people.

This article is the result of collaboration between Amanda Linehan, an introvert, and Tina Su, an extravert. Together, we wanted to shed some light on the topic of shyness in a collective perspective from both extremes. We will also share the ways that we used to turn shyness into personal empowerment.


The Three Components of Shyness

According to Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci of the Shyness Research Institute, shyness has three components:

  • Excessive Self-Consciousness – you are overly aware of yourself, particularly in social situations.
  • Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation – you tend to see yourself negatively.
  • Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation – you tend to pay too much attention to all the things you are doing wrong when you are around other people.

Can you relate? When you are experiencing shyness, can you fit your state of mind into one or more of the above categories? We sure can.


Why Do We Experience Shyness?

We all experience shyness differently and on varying degrees. However, root cause can be boiled down to one of the following reasons:

1. Weak Self Image

This is especially true to our experiences in high school. We would believe in the fallacy that our unique qualities were not interesting, cool or worthy of anyone’s admiration.We would try to fit in with everyone else, resulting in us not feeling like ourselves.

  • Amanda: Looking back I’m not even sure I knew what my unique abilities were, I just knew that everybody else seemed to be a cooler, more interesting person than I was, so I tried to imitate them…poorly.:)
  • Tina: I thought of myself as cool, because I was loud, and worked very hard at keeping that image. It was of course, a false image that I worked hard to keep. It was exhausting and I was exceedingly self conscious. Even though people didn’t view me as shy, but I felt shy most of the time with a lot of built up anxiety. Turns out, the ‘cool’ kids themselves have weak self images and wanted to fit in with everyone else.

2. Pre-occupation with Self

When we’re around other people, we become extremely sensitive to what we’re doing, as if we’ve been put on center stage. This creates anxiety and makes us question our every move. Our focus centers around ourselves and particularly on “what I was doing wrong”. This can cause a downward spiral.

  • Amanda: Coupled with a weak self image,I didn’t thinkIwas doing anything right! And this would start a cycle that I couldn’t get out of. What I understand now is that is that most people are not looking at me with the detail thatI was looking at myself.
  • Tina: I too was very sensitive to my every move around other people. My senses were heightened to the way I talked, walked, laughed, etc. My focus was on how to not screw up in front of other people, and this made me very nervous. What I understand now is that everyone is so caught up with their own insecurities that they hardly notice yours.

3. Labeling

When we label ourselves as a shy person, we psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. We may say to ourselves, “I am a shy person, than it must be true that I am shy. This is how I am, and this is the way things are.” When we label something, that thing has the perception of being fixed and therefore we must live up to the expectations of the labeling.

  • Amanda: I was known by others as a shy person, or a quiet person, and this perception held me captive at times. People expected me to be a certain way and so I was. And knowing that other people regarded me as shy, in addition to my not wanting to be shy, resulted in great anxiety when I was with people. I really wanted to show myself to others when I was around them, but it was easy to simply go along with what others expected from me.
  • Tina: Deep down, I felt the anxieties from shyness often, yet, when I’m around people, I had to live up to the expectations that I wasn’t shy. My experiences with shyness would manifest in unusual ways, like when I’m ordering food, when I call someone on the phone, or speak to strangers. I would never let that side of myself show, but I do experience it. In those moments, I can hear myself say, ‘I am shy.’

How to Overcome Shyness

We’ve both experienced different variations of shyness, and through practice and increased awareness we have both overcome this. The following are tips that have helped us overcome this uncomfortable feeling.

Photo by Lauren

1. Understand Your Shyness

Seek to understand your unique brand of shyness and how that manifests in your life. Understand what situation triggers this feeling? And what are you concerned with at that point?

2. Turning Self Consciousness into Self Awareness

Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most people are too busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching yourself as if you are other people, bring your awareness inwards. Armed with your understanding of what makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your thoughts. Self awareness is the first step towards any change or life improvement.

3. Find Your Strengths

We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing ourselves. It’s important to know and fully accept the things we do well, even if they differ from the norm. If everyone was the same, the world would be a pretty boring place.

  • Find something you are good at and focus on doing it. An identifiable strength will boost your natural self esteem and your ego, helping you better identify with yourself. It is a short term fix, but will give you the confidence you need to break your self-imposed barrier of fear.
  • See how your unique strength gives you an advantage. For example, Amanda is a naturally quiet person who prefers to spend time alone. She learned that she listens better than others and notices things that others miss in conversations. She also discovered that her alone time has given her a better understanding of herself.

4. Learn to Like Yourself

Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression that is you. Write a love letter to yourself, do things you enjoy, give gratitude for your body and its effortless functions, spend quality time getting to know yourself, go on a self-date.

5. Not Conforming

Trying to fit in like everyone else is exhausting and not very much fun. Understand that it is okay to be different. In fact, underlying popular kid’s public displays of coolness, they too are experiencing insecurities, self-consciousness, and awkwardness. Accept that you may not be perceived as the most popular social butterfly, and you may not want to be either. At the end of the day, being popular will not make you happy. Accepting your unique qualities can set you free.

6. Focus on Other People

Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other people and what they have to say. Become interested in learning about others, and probe them to talk about themselves. You can try pondering the question while interacting: What is it about this person that I like?

7. Releasing Anxiety through Breath

Anxiety and fear can feel overwhelming if you are practicing to become more assertive in order to overcome this fear.

  • One simple technique to calm this anxiety into manageable bites is taking deep breaths with your eyes closed, while concentrating on just your breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly while clearing out all thoughts.
  • Another technique is from yoga: counting as you inhale and then as you exhale. Slowly leveling out your inhale and exhale duration. Example, 4 count for in and 4 for out. Once your breaths are leveled, add an extra count during your exhale. This means slowing down your exhale by just a tad as compared to your inhale. Continue for a few minutes until you are comfortable, than add another count to your exhale. You can easily do this in the bathroom, or in a spare room of when you need it.

8. Releasing Anxiety through Movement

One way of viewing anxiety is that it is blocked energy that needs to be released. We can release this energy through physical movement.

  • Exercises like jogging or walking will help to re-channel some of the blocked energies, but also helps by pulling you out of the situation and shifts your state of mind. This refreshed state of mind will help by adding perspectives to things.
  • Another effective technique is a simple muscle meditation/exercise. Sit down or lie down. Bring awareness to every part of your body, starting from your toes and moving up your body to the top of your head. At every part of your body, tighten the muscles at the center of awareness for 3-5 seconds, and then relax. Repeat this until you get to the top of your head. Remember to breathe.


9. Visualization

Visualizing yourself in the situation as a confident and happy person helps to shape your perception of yourself when you are actually in the situation. Close your eyes, sit back somewhere relaxing, listen to some relaxing music, imagine yourself in a scene or situation and see yourself the way you would like to be. In this scene, how do you feel? What do you hear? Do you smell anything? Are you moving? What do you see? Get all your senses involved to make it real.

10. Affirmation

Words can carry incredible energy. What we repeatedly tell ourselves, gets heard by our unconscious mind, and it acts accordingly. If we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are incapable, and too shy to do anything, we will become increasingly aware of evidence to back up this ‘fact’, and our actions will always match what we tell ourselves. Similarly, if we repeatedly tell ourselves that we are capable, confident, and wonderful human beings, our unconscious mind will likely surface the awareness that gives evidence to this new ‘fact’. While, we can’t lie to ourselves, positive visualization and affirmation are helpful in placing us along the road of positive thought patterns.

11. Do Not Leave an Uncomfortable Situation

When we leave shy situations, what we are really doing is reinforcing our shyness. Instead, face the situation square in the face. Turn the fearful situation into a place of introspection and personal growth. Become the observer and dig into yourself, answer the questions: why do I feel this way? What caused me to feel this way? Can there be an alternative explanation to what is happening?

12. Accept Rejection

Accept the possibility that we can be rejected and learning to not take it personally. Remember, you are not alone and we all experience rejections. It is part of life and part of the learning process. The key lies in how you handle rejections when they come. It helps to be mentally prepared before they happen:

  • Never take it personally. It was not your fault. It just wasn’t meant to be. The scenario was not the best fit for you.
  • Find the lesson – what did you learn? There is a lesson ingrained in every situation. And through these life lessons lies the potential for you to become a better person, a stronger person. Nothing is lost if you can find the lesson. See these as the blessings in disguise.
  • Move on. Recognize that when you fall into self-pity, you are not moving forward. Nothing will be changed from your self-pity. When you start to recognize this, it becomes clear that only energy is wasted while we feed to our problem-seeking ego. Pick yourself up, dust off the dirt and move on to the next thing. Try again, try again, try again. It will pay off!

13. Relinquish Perfectionism

When we compare ourselves, we tend to compare ourselves with the most popular person in the room or we compare ourselves with celebrities we see on TV. We set excessive expectations by comparing ourselves unreasonably to people unlike ourselves and wonder “why can’t I be that?” We carry with us a vision of another’s perfection and expect ourselves to fit that exact mold. And when we don’t fit, we beat ourselves up for it, wondering why we are such failures. You see, the problem lies in our emphasis on fitting into a vision we have created in our minds, which is not us. Let go of this perfect image, create visions of yourself out of the Being from who you are, naturally; and let that expression flow, naturally.

Photo via g2slp

14. Stop Labeling Yourself

Stop labeling yourself as a shy person. You are you, you are unique, and you are beautiful. Can’t we just leave it at that?

15. Practice Social Skills

Like any other skill, social skills can be cultivated through practice and experience. The more you put yourself out there, the easier it becomes next time. If you have a hard time knowing what to say, you can practice what to say ahead of time.

16. Practice Being in Uncomfortable Situations

Sometimes, it is not the social skills we lack, but rather the lack of self confidence that we may succeed, and a heightened fear that we will fail. Placing yourself in these uncomfortable situations will help to desensitize your fear towards the situation. The more you force yourself to face it, and to experience it completely, you will realize that it is not that bad after all. It may be hard for your ego to accept at first, but quickly you will find that you can just laugh and enjoy it.

17. The Three Questions

During social settings where you may experience nervousness, periodically ask yourself the following three questions. Doing so will distract yourself from more self-destructive thoughts. Make it your mantra:

  1. Am I breathing?
  2. Am I relaxed?
  3. Am I moving with grace?

18. What is Comfortable for You?

Going to bars and clubs isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. Understand what feels comfortable for you, and find people, communities and activities which bring out the best in you. You can be just as equally social in settings that you connect with on a personal level, than the popular social settings. You don’t have to be doing what “everyone” else is doing. Besides, everyone else isn’t necessarily happy, despite your perception as such.

19. Focus on the Moment

Becoming mindful of what you’re doing, regardless of what you’re doing, will take focus away from the self. When you are having a conversation, forget about how you look, focus on the words, fall into the words, become absorbed in the words. The tones. The expression. Appreciate it and give gratitude for it.

20. Seek and Record Your Successes

As you overcome this condition we’ve been labeling as shyness, you will have many wins and realizations about yourself. You will gain insights into the truth behind social scenarios. You will start to view yourself differently and come to recognize that you can become comfortable and confident. When these wins and realizations happen, make sure to keep a notebook and write them down. Keeping a journal of your successes will not only boost self confidence, but also shift your focus towards something that can benefit you.

What are some of your moments of shyness? What did you do to overcome them? If you haven’t overcome them, why do you think that is the case & what can you do about it next time? See you in the comments! :)

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About the author

Tina Su is a mom, a wife, a lover of Apple products and a CHO (Chief Happiness Officer) for our motivational community: Think Simple Now. She is obsessed with encouraging and empowering people to lead conscious and happy lives. Subscribe to new inspiring stories each week. You can also subscribe to Tina on Facebook.

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359 thoughts on 20 Ways to Overcome Shyness

  1. Elizabeth

    Hi I’m actually 13 and I was searching for a way to overcome shyness since that’s what my new years resolution is but when finishing reading this I realized that the main way to change this flaw is to accept it and try to change it. Just to challenge yourself in awkward situations and try to talk to people you usually don’t. Thanks for this article! Hopefully by the end of the year my shyness will be gone.

  2. alex

    Thanks for the article. It has changed my life because it describes exactly how I feel when am in social settings. Toastmasters does not work for me because even though I am shy, I love presenting any topic to the people in room. I need a hangout group for shy people where I can feel more comfortable. Too bad many cities dont have that. My family and relatives think shyness can be cured within a few minutes. But its far from the truth for most people.
    I think family support for shyness is very useful too.
    I am dissapointed to say I have never met any shy person. Its very difficult to meet any shy person online since they never reply back to your messages. It is difficult to meet any shy person outside because they all show extrovert behaviour.
    I recommend this article to any shy person. Its not half baked but 20 useful lifetime tips for introverts who find it difficult to not be shy. Thankyou once again. You are angels for me.

  3. Annie

    Thank you. You have no idea what you’ve done for me. Thank you so much. :)

  4. Elise

    When I graduated in 2011, I was in the exact same situation as you! My best friend and I had GPAs that were extremely close, and we were in the running for valedictorian/salutatorian. (I ended up valedictorian, though I think she deserved it more than me. :) ) I’ve always been shy, too. I was basically known for being quiet, and I was actually told that some people wondered how I was going to be able to give the speech, because they’d never heard me talk! And, in my class of about 500, relatively few people even knew I existed.

    Giving a speech is a little different than having a conversation, though. A conversation tends to be difficult for me because I’m unsure of what to say, worried that I will say something wrong or stupid, or that the person I’m talking to won’t like me. For a speech, you have time to figure out exactly what you want to say, foresee/fix any problems, and, in the case of a valedictory/salutatory speech, you’re never going to see most these people again! So if for some reason they don’t like you or your speech, it doesn’t even matter!

    The most important advice in this situation is this: PRACTICE. Once you know what you want to say, practice your speech. Start by just reading it aloud to yourself. Then read in front of a mirror. Then in front of your family, in front of your close friends, and then in front of people you might consider acquaintances – people you feel fairly comfortable around, but still just uncomfortable enough for you to practice working through nerves. :)

    Another piece of advice is to have fun! Really enjoy what you’re doing! It might seem difficult or even impossible at first, but if you enjoy it, it’ll take your mind off some of the nervousness. I snuck in quotes from my favorite TV show and my favorite movie in my speech, and was tickled by the fact that I knew only a select few would know that I was referencing anything at all. :)

    When graduation day finally came, I was still a little nervous about giving the speech. There isn’t a whole lot that can be done about that, except to breath calmly and think positive thoughts. We were allowed to have a speech in front of us, and that can be a huge comfort. At that point I basically had my speech memorized, but I still used my script to guide and support me. I gave my speech, only made one very minor speaking error, and sat down. It was over! There’s comfort in its brevity.

    Best wishes, and let me know how everything turns out for you and your friend! :)

    P.S. This site has some other really helpful tips for public speaking:

  5. M

    That was brilliant! I say this article marks a before and after in my life and I mean it! Excellent! I am so grateful of having read this! Thank you so much! This is just what I needed to solve most of my problems!!! I can’t believe it! You are awesome!!!!!!! THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Brittney

    I usually feel shyness when in public. I never feel shyness when i’m speaking to someone because i know that the person im speaking with is the exact person as me i mean like we are the same no one is perfect. In public I feel everyone is judgeing me.Please help me! thank you!

  7. VW

    Wow! Totally needed to read this article right now. I have struggled with being shy my whole life. I think some of it is due to the fact that my mother was such an overbearing figure in my childhood because she would yell mean and hurtful things to me all the time. She would get mad at me for things that I couldn’t help either like having to go to the bathroom and would start yelling at me in front of anyone who was around no matter where we were at. I would be so humiliated I just wanted to disappear and I think this is when I started keeping more to myself so that I never had to feel that awful feeling again. She would call me dumb and stupid too and it was very hurtful to my self-esteem.
    I can relate to what Amanda said how everyone just expects you to be shy and not say anything and at the time it’s just easier to keep it that way. But anytime that I do put myself out there to be more outgoing, outspoken, and conversational I feel like my wings are cut off the next time a person says that I am quiet. I feel so bad that I start crying and hit things out of great disappointment and frustration. That is such an awful word to me and I think it is so offensive when someone calls me that. It makes me feel like I don’t matter and that I’m not important in this world. I have never admitted to anyone that I am a shy person and I just hopes it pays off to where I see myself in a positive way in the end. It’s really comforting to hear that I’m not the only one that struggles with this. I even felt weird googling this topic but I’m glad I did. Thanks for the article!!!! It describes word for word what I never wanted to admit I felt.

    • pat

      I think your write up is inspiring..i had a difficult childhood -I was raised by a mum who saw no good in me and repeatedly told me so…this might have contributed to my shyness and low self esteem.
      But with these tips , I will put them to try and I hope I will overcome the shyness and timidity that has plagued my life.

      thank you

  8. VW

    I pray for all of the shy introverts who want to come out of their shells to do so one day and be happy with themselves!!!

  9. Khan

    Dear Tina!
    I have read so many articles on social anxiety and tried so hard to find a way to adjust to these minor problems. You have done such an awesome job of describing the issues and overcoming them!
    I am so very thankful :)
    P.S I’ve never commented on any article, this is my first!!

  10. shygirl

    im really shy in school i dont raise my hand to answer questions and actually i havent raised it all year unless it was to get a tissue or go to the bathroom.i dont get out of my seat and i feel like when i get in trouble even if it is once of year my wall of dignity collapses.this arcticle has made me stronger and made me try again!thank you

  11. Nicole

    I loved reading this article! Very informative and you seem to know what you are talking about. So do I! I have been extremely shy in the past and would like to share another way to overcome shyness with you all.

    In my childhood I was so shy, I couldn’t even look someone straight in the eye .. no matter if girl or boy, adult or kid. This matter made me going to school very hard, because it didn’t take other kids long to notice, that I was completely defenseless. I figured that I had to talk to someone professional about this issue, but I didn’t dare to open up in front of a stranger either. So I decided to do some research in the internet on how to overcome shyness. I found help on a website called Your24hCoach, which is basically an online marketplace for coaches worldwide. The decisive point for me was the fact that you can directly consult the coach online via voice, live or text chat. As I couldn’t face anyone, I went for the text chat, in which I could express my feelings, fears and wishes – completely anonymous! That coach I talked to was very skilled and managed to take away my shyness after some sessions. When I think of “the shy me” now, I can not even imagine what it was that held me back. Most of my friends don’t believe me today, when I tell them what kind of girl I was before! Thanks to Your24hCoach! Feel free to try it out, if you don’t see another possibility for you :) Thanks for hearing me out

  12. Interesting article, not just a usual ‘useful, fascinating, great’ appreciations. I mean it. I too was a shy kid at some moments in my life. But those makes me laugh today. Anyway, it was a good read. Thanks.

  13. Wow… don’t think I can match the essays of all the comments; but here’s my two cents… Thanks, great article btw :)

    Relinquish Perfectionism: I’ve been in IT for a long time and I found the perfectionism is very helpful for doing your work well (good software development needs a keen eye for detail).

    However, being someone that took it over into his personal life… It does more harm than good. Over-analyzing everything puts you into a state of perpetual social anxiety (or at least, it did for me).

    Ive been working on it and I have seen some good results… so I just wanted to support you on that point :)


  14. Jessica

    I love the one section:

    When we label ourselves as a shy person, we psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. We may say to ourselves, “I am a shy person, than it must be true that I am shy. This is how I am, and this is the way things are.” When we label something, that thing has the perception of being fixed and therefore we must live up to the expectations of the labeling.
    Amanda: I was known by others as a shy person, or a quiet person, and this perception held me captive at times. People expected me to be a certain way and so I was. And knowing that other people regarded me as shy, in addition to my not wanting to be shy, resulted in great anxiety when I was with people. I really wanted to show myself to others when I was around them, but it was easy to simply go along with what others expected from me.

    I can relate to this so much that I cried…but I still dont know how to overcome this. Please help! :(

    • Brandon Young

      Hey that’s exactly what I thought when I read that part too! I guess what we have to do is get over that image of us being labeled as “shy.”

  15. CJ

    thank you for this step : ” Practice Being in Uncomfortable Situations ”

    i’m very shy and i easily get disappointed when i am in uncomfortable situations specially if i was embarrassed in front of many people…

    thank you.. :)

  16. Melissa

    I’ve always been incredibly shy. Ever since I was little. I’m especially constantly shy when it comes to my relationships. It’s irritating to myself, and to my new boyfriend. He wants me to come out of my shell, and I’ve always told myself to get out of my shell. I need to blossom. I’m an adult. This is no time to be shy and down on myself and all that. Get out of my comfort zone for once. Get out there. Show who I really am around. I’m an outgoing person around my best friends and my family. Why can’t I be that way around my boyfriend? Someone I could potentially spend the rest of my life with. I need a lot of help and support. I need someone to kick my butt when I want to stop. I need to keep going. i need to be me.

  17. hi

    Great post. I find that I can easily do the whole “hi, how are you? I’m good, thank you” but after that I (if the person I’m talking to talks a lot) find myself just nodding or saying “yeah” or “ok” or “cool!” the whole rest of the conversation. And if the person doesn’t talk much, there is usually an awkward silence. The thing is that I just can’t think of what to say or ask or do. It stresses me out. I’ve gotten better with eye contact, though. I think your tips will help me out!

  18. rex

    i’m in my late 20’s and i never had a girlfriend…don’t get me wrong..when it comes to being friends with someone…i’m the extrovert type…but when I suddenly have a crush on one of my friends..i suddenly become shy around her….i don’t know how to overcome this =((

    a lot of my friend ask me why i never had a girlfriend…and this is the reason why…

    • Isthiak Ahsan

      Hi Rex,

      My problem is quite similar to yours. I feel shy around girls. I’ve had no girlfriend too. And I can’t face the girl whom I like. I understand how you feel brother.

    • sumantra

      Your situation perfectly describes mine.Like you, i am in my late 20s and have never had a girlfriend.
      Nobody would day i am an introvert or shy but when it comes to women i like ,i suddenly lose the ability to speak!(Selective mutism) It has been bothering me for so long that cant think of anything else nowadays!

  19. I feel for you Rex, there is so much good advice here I hope some of it resonates with you.
    I would think your friends asking you why you’ve never had a girlfriend is unhelpful and just adds to your anxiety.

    Obviously I don’t know your circumstances, but I am thinking that you may find it too difficult to cope with by possibly being rejected by a girl within your circle of friends.

    Is there a co worker or someone who is not a friend that you would like to date that you could ask out for a Starbucks or a quick lunch. I am thinking of something low key that she hopefully would see no problem with.

    When I first met my husband to be, he was shy which I found endearing, so please don’t let it hold you back. I hope you can summon up the willpower to take those first steps to asking a girl out for a date, and take it from there.
    If it doesn’t work out learn from the experience then dust yourself down and try again. At least you are then dating!

  20. Peter

    Hello all. I am peter and i am 21 years old.
    I feel dejected now knowing that I have been shy for all the years of my life that I remember. Dont get me wrong guys I am not labeling myself as a shy person but this is something that i know now. I am shy and I desperately want to get rid of this damn thing. And to add to that my shyness is increasing as the days pass. It has now reached to a level where I even feel shy to talk with my mom and i cant make the eye contact even with her. I do have some friends but you can imagine my mental state in front of them when i cant even speak to my mom properly. I feel shy even in front of just one person not neccessarily in some social group. I even feel shy in front of little children. I know its disgusting but that is how it is. I dont want to live like this and i am trying real hard to get rid of this thing but its all working in the opposite direction. And about the above mentioned types of reasons to feel shy, i think i can relate to all those reasons equally. I have all those thoughts surrounding my mind. I am ready to do any damn thing to overcome shyness. I have tried to force myself in various social outings but thats making it even more worse.
    Please if someone could help me.

    • Vlad

      Hi, my name is Vlad, and i wanted to share my ideeas with you guys, because i saw that there are many people with this problem.I’m a shy teenager who lived in silence and darkness even from begening.I followed pshycological terapy from more than a year , but this wasn’t worked for me.I have so many troubles in college because of that shyness, i can’t speak with my classmates, if i got late on college i don’t get in because im afraid to see those teenagers looking at me while im going to my place.
      I always stay alone in class and never start a conversation with others. My brain is triying to find so much ways to make me feel bad, like finding bad smels coming for my body, even the smell doesn’t exist.This is too much for me, i can’t live like this, im to tired.Please i need so much help.
      PS:Sorry for my english, im from Romania and i don’t know very good the language.

  21. carol

    Hi im carol and i always have been shy. And i realised that being shy is nothing bad is just a personality. I always tried not to be shy but i disnt get anything and thats so sad. I dont like starting talking to other people i always want them to start.

  22. Getting out of your comfort zone in baby steps is a solid way to overcome shyness. Do something that makes you feel just a little uncomfortable each day, it could be anything at all, nothing drastic.

  23. i’ve been shy eversince i remember,now i’m 19 and just about to turn 20 and feel it essential to overcome it,i’ve been living the whole life in fear of meeting new people especialy when having to make friends,totally depressed when it’s time to go to school or college again after a while,it feels like others would be bored sitting and talking to me cause i’m a silent person and that’s really my biggest fear pushing me back whenever thinking about talking to someone,they usually would end up commenting on it and that saddens me alot,like being judged by others and that unfortunately leads me to dislike most people before even talking to them for the first time cause i feel like they would dislike me i do want to get ride of shyness but it’s never easy throwing a ‘part of you’ away : l

  24. Sarah

    This is a great article. Ive taken so much from it and I can’t wait to start applying it to my life.

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