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How to Make Dreams Come True

Photo by JUCO
Editor’s Note

Pssst... 'Discover You Now' is here. Have a peek here. :)

This week, my husband resigned from his job of 12 years at Amazon.

It’s been an exciting and scary few days…okay, a few weeks… filled with various waves of emotion–anxiety, fear, but also wonder, fulfillment and exhilarating joy.

It reminded me of the emotional ride shortly after I left the comforts of my corporate job, 4 years ago. The emotional struggle was mostly in my head and it whispered words of fear to me, and convincing arguments of why I would fail.

This time around is no different. Perhaps, that sense of fear and uncertainty is further heightened by the fact that we have a son, and both of us will be without the comfort and security of a “real” job to catch us if we fail.

For the first time, no one will pay our benefits, no one will cover the high health insurance premiums and no one will send us guaranteed paychecks every month.

For the first time, we are on our own. Completely.

It’s a scary feeling.

It feels a little like skydiving out of a plane. You experience fear because while you know that you will most likely be okay, there is that chance that your parachute won’t open. And if it doesn’t, you will die.

But on the other hand the experience has been exhilarating. For the first time, Jeremy experienced total freedom—away from a situation from which he had fallen out of love.

For the first time, we are no longer tied to any one city (or country) and can move around as we please. For the first time, our time belongs to us. All of it!

Also for the first time, I have a business partner who spends 100% of his time working alongside me in building a business we can call our own.

It really has been exciting. Just the act of coming to work together and sharing meal breaks with my best friend makes my heart smile.

Once the fear settled away (as it usually does with time), I felt extremely lucky… and deeply grateful for witnessing another dream coming true.

Dreams Do Come True

“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream.
The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg;
and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs.
Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”
~James Allen, from As a Man Thinketh

I’m a strong believer that dreams do not come true by accident. In my case, every bit of my dream that came true was the result of deliberate and proactive intention. Sorry if this sounds cliché, but from my experience, it’s been true.

If there is something that you want that differs from what you currently have, there is only one way to get it. It all starts with a dream… a vision that becomes more and more clear with time and repetition.

The point of today’s article is about dreams—the importance of having them, and why you should never stop dreaming.

Personal Story


Photo by JUCO

My dream in 2004 was to quit my job and become location independent. I worked long hours in creating various side businesses that either failed or didn’t stick, until I created this blog in late 2007. Then in 2008, the small income from this blog gave me the confidence to leave my day job.

My other dream was to get married and have a family before I turned 30. A little odd to be that specific, I know. But this too came true. Not only that, but my husband had the exact qualities that I had dreamed about. And he literally showed up in my life out of nowhere. Soon we were married, and 4 months before I turned 30, I gave birth to a little miracle named Ryan.

Even though this blog generated some income, it wasn’t enough to support a family. We relied heavily on Jeremy’s job for security.

So we started dreaming again. This time, our dream was one where Jeremy and I are working together and for ourselves. We also dreamed that we’d be living somewhere warm with palm trees and sunshine.

If you were on the TSN Insider newsletter, you may recall the email from me last year frustrated with trying to make my online business work. After 3 years of working at it, I had little to show for it. I was debating openly that perhaps I should go back to my corporate job.

Luckily I didn’t.

The gift from hitting rock bottom mentally is that you get extremely focused and clear with where you want to go.

When you’re at the bottom, you have nowhere to go but up. You become so fed up with how you don’t want to feel that you become extra motivated to change.

A few days after writing that email to the TSN Insider mailing list, the fear of going back to the “golden handcuffs” of my old job forced me to become extremely focused.

In a stroke of clarity, I took the business in a different direction and it started to work in my favor in just a few short weeks.

After 4 years of trying to make it work, one small shift in thinking and doing has allowed it to work for me. A few months later, fast-forward to now, when I’d proven that my ideas can support our family, Jeremy turned in his notice. Thus began the coming true of another dream, which seemed impossible just one year ago.

Dreams do come true.

What I’ve Learned


Photo by Miss Aniela

While the topic is fresh on my mind, I wanted to document and share with you what I’ve learned. I think the lessons aren’t just for people wanting to leave their jobs or just for entrepreneurs (though, they will help). The lessons are applicable to the realization of any goal, desire or vision.

I use the term ‘dream’ loosely. When I refer to dreams, I’m referring to a goal or specifically a vision of a situation you would like to experience. It can be anything that is important to you: writing a book, having a family, traveling the world, becoming wealthy, or doing fulfilling work.

It can be anything, really. You are the writer and creator of your dreams. Actually, you are the only person in the world who is qualified to do this job.

Okay, let’s dive into the lessons:

1. The Dreaming Habit

Keep dreaming. And get specific with the details of the vision. Think about it often. See it in your mind’s eye clearly. Live it in your imagination.

I know the reality of your dream may seem impossible from where you currently stand, but please don’t let that stop you from dreaming.

Your dreams and visions are the seeds of extraordinary change and miracles for years to come.

Our natural tendency is the desire to not get specific or even to allow our selves to dream. We do this out of fear of disappointing ourselves when our dreams don’t come true.

Actually, we are usually convinced that they won’t come true, and so we procrastinate instead of taking action in realization of a dream.

The procrastination starts with the mental resistance to get specific with what we want. I know because this is what I experience. Even now, I go through the same mental struggles and resistance when I spawn off a new dream.

Knowing this about my mind allows me to anticipate the resistance and to keep going despite resistance.

If you can, I recommend writing your dreams down in a journal or notebook—a “dream book”. Then get as specific as you possibly can about this dream or vision or desire. Write a whole page or more describing the details.

Remember to date the pages. I flipped through one of my journals recently, and accidentally saw a dream I had written about from a year ago. I had forgotten about it. And that particular goal had come true a few months ago. Again, I had forgotten about it.

Seeing that page, unexpectedly, brought so much joy that I cried. So date your pages. :)

Dreams not only give us hope. More importantly, they give us direction. This is important, because without a target, how will we know when we’ve arrived? How will we know which direction to even move towards?

It doesn’t matter how bad things are or how far fetched the dream appears compared to where you are right now, never stop dreaming, okay?

2. Take the Next Step


Photo by Vanessa Paxton

Regardless of how far your dream is compared to where you currently stand, there is always, ALWAYS, a logical next step that you can take. That step may be a baby step, but still one step closer in the direction of your dreams.

Quickly decide what that next logical step is? Then do everything within your power to get it done. And then repeat.

You don’t have to know all of the exact steps to get to your dreams. All you need right now is the next few steps. Even if the steps are wrong, that’s okay, taking any step is better than standing still.

With every step you take, you’ll make mistakes and then you’ll learn. With each lesson, you’ll adjust your path and keep going toward the dream until eventually you will arrive at your destination.

It’s like driving from New York to LA. All you can see is the road in front of you. All you can see are the next several feet in your route toward the west. This is all you need. You’re job is to follow that road and periodically re-adjust towards west.

So, what is your next logical step? Do it!

Schedule it into your calendar and get it done. Get help. Whatever it takes. Get it done.

Remember to keep it simple and to keep it small. If the next step will take additional steps, break it down further and take the next small piece as your next action.

For example, “Starting a business” is too broad for a next step. Break it down further. If you want to start a business, what are some smaller logical next steps? Perhaps brainstorming services or products you can offer with your existing experience and skills.

Normally, we tend to make things more difficult than necessary by conjuring up this big roadblock in our mind. We hold ourselves back out of fear—the fear of change, and the fear of failure. So we never get to take the next action step.

We fear planning the next logical step because we don’t want to be wrong.

We fear actually taking the next step, because we are scared of the unknown. We delay by trying to perfect a trivial step in the process, and then we never launch it. Or we get lazy and rely on the comforts of a convenient excuse for why we haven’t taken action.

I know, because I struggle with all of these. And I still struggle with all of these on a regularly basis.

Despite our natural resistance towards taking the next logical step of action, it becomes easier with each step you take. With each step, you create momentum to take more steps.

3. Fear Is My Friend


Photo by JUCO

There really is no hiding from fear. Actually, the only solution to overcoming fear is doing that thing which you fear. That’s it.

Fear comes with change. It is natural and hardwired into our nervous system. Since the realization of a dream always require change, fear is inevitable.

Instead of working against fear—since it will be there anyway—use fear as a dear friend to cheer you on.

Fear can be a powerful motivator, you know? Instead of trying to eliminate fear by pretending it doesn’t exist. Let’s work with it. Embrace it as a tool in making your dreams come true and calming it by taking smart and intelligent action.

Because of fear, I learned to make better financial decisions. Instead of quitting a job and hoping that things will just work out, we saved like crazy, made conservative and calculated and timely financial investments, and only left a job when we had plan B and C in place.

Knowing that we are on our own now, there is a natural fear that if we fail we have nothing to fall back on. This fear has been an effective motivator for us. Basically, we HAVE to succeed. There is no other choice. Thanks to fear, this one thought has kept me rooted in reality and remaining intensely focused.

From this focused and heightened state of clarity, I’ve experienced a personal peak in productivity and at the same time having fun at work. Each morning, I can’t wait to jump out of bed and get to work. On weekends, I actually look forward to Monday instead of dreading it.

Because of fear, my relationship with work has become a game that has been immensely fulfilling and deeply transformational.

I’ve always heard that Fear can be your friend. But now, I finally get it. It really can.

4. Embrace Failure

“In learning, failure is not an option. It’s a necessity.”

Failure when doing something new is expected. Without it, how will you learn? How does a baby learn to walk without falling?

Here’s another quote, “Good decisions come from experience. And experience comes from bad decisions.”

Massive success rarely happens overnight. Success usually rides on the cumulative efforts of hard work, and learning from the person over a period of time. But we rarely see this unsexy side of doing grunt work.

We see the stories of overnight success and become discouraged when our own projects start off unsuccessful. And then we give up, way too early.

Did you know that the guys who made (the wildly successful game) Angry Birds made 51 other games before succeeding?

While I’m still a work in progress, it took me 8 years of constantly trying different businesses until I finally found an angle that worked for me.

Looking back, what I regret now is not taking bolder strides earlier and making mistakes faster. Had I failed at a faster rate earlier on, I would have arrived much faster.

You’ll make mistakes. There will be a period of struggle. But know that it’s all part of the process. Failure is the secret to success.

Instead of letting failure beat you down, you get up each time you fall, dust yourself off, take note of the lesson and you keep trying.

The baseball analogy is that regardless of how many times you strike out, when you take enough swings, sooner or later you’ll hit a homerun. That’s just the way it goes.

And as a side note, my experience has been that every negative experience has an equally positive angle or lesson, even though we may not recognize it immediately.

Knowing this has made it easier to keep going when the going gets tough. When the s— hits the fan, I look for the positive, the lesson, the gift. It is always there.

Parting Words


Photo by JUCO

So what it is that you are dreaming about? Think about it. Now write it out in detail. Just this one exercise will bring you tremendous joy.

Create a regular routine of reviewing your dreams and/or revising your dreams by re-writing them with new details.

Find a notebook that makes you feel good, so that the habit of dreaming and writing down your dreams actually makes you feel good. I went as far as putting together “my dream book” with this swanky mini binder (+ divider and paper).

And I write in it as an intimate personal project. It’s fun to do and makes me feel amazing! Between doing that and writing to you, I’ve got my own slice of heaven. Simple bliss.

I want you to know and to remember that there are endless possibilities in every moment.

And in this moment, there lies opportunities of abundance and openings for miracles. It’s all around us. It’s all here.

So, what is it that you want? What are you dreaming about?

* I would love to savor this moment with you. Please share with me in the comment section of the blog (below) your dreams and visions. Tell me, even if you think its silly. I can’t wait to read it!

* * Did you like this topic? If you’re curious to see the exact steps I use for planning projects and designing my life such that dreams do come true, check out my in depth guide on the topic: Discover You Now. Until July 15, 2012, you can get the guide at 50% Off plus money back guarantee (You’ve got nothing to lose). Check here to learn more.

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About the author

Tina Su is a mom, a wife, a lover of Apple products and a CHO (Chief Happiness Officer) for our motivational community: Think Simple Now. She is obsessed with encouraging and empowering people to lead conscious and happy lives. Subscribe to new inspiring stories each week. You can also subscribe to Tina on Facebook.

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32 thoughts on How to Make Dreams Come True

  1. I love the CHO! May I borrow that?
    Parents can encourage their children to dream, too. Kids naturally think big. We just have to learn not to squelch their ambitions with our adult pragmatism. My daughter always wrote down her dreams and goals. She became a teen entrepreneur. (www.yaldah.com) She also encouraged me to follow my own dream of writing a novel which I did. Now she is 21, still running her business, and creates inspirational workshops for girls.

  2. Tina,

    First off, let me congratulate you for launching your personal guide! Being a loyal reader for almost a year now, I’ve got to witness your journey to completion. Your story is very inspiring and I can’t wait to dive in to Discover You Now. I’ve been seeking my life’s purpose high and low for what feels like forever now and I’m really hopeful that your guide will point me in the right direction. I have a blog of my own where I write about my life lessons/experiences, and also do personal reviews of life development products. I am eager to write about this one, to say the least!

    Thanks again for all your insight and wisdom!

  3. Xiaomin Yu

    Congratualtions Tina! I have been reading TSN for 2 years and it has been an important part of my personally growth. Your story made my day again!

  4. Hello Tina, just wanted to say congrats and good for you guys. My wife and I have similar aspirations and it is so encouraging to see people who make it happen in their lives. Though our resolve is sound and our determination fierce it is still uplifting to see awesome people doing what they love and being successful. Keep on pushing and good luck with this next chapter. Looking forward to hearing how it goes. Take care.

  5. Tasbiah

    Inspirational piece, Tina. Thank you! I really admire how you have taken the concept of having a “dream” and bringing life and meaning to it, and reginitng the spark in people like myself who dream and want to achieve our goals. 

    I discovered your blog during a very low point in my life and it was very uplifting, inspirational and motivating for helping me move forward with my life. I read your blog religiously, and always excitedly look forward to new inspirational pieces. I have even read some articles twice for advice and direction when I have been at different stages of my life. You have really nipped it in the bud with this blog in developing human nature and potential. Thank you for your and other writers’ amazing work. This article is no exception. Keep up the amazing work! :)

  6. Delmy

    I dream about having my own makeup line. I love makeup so I’m always dreaming about having my products at drug stores. I dream about having this as a family business with my brothers, and have financial independence and success that money will never be an issue for us. I dream about my business being successful, so I can take care of my parents and I can share with the world what I have. This is my dream and I hope to make it true one day!

  7. Hi Tina! Congratulations on coming so far with your dreams, and now having your husband embark on the same adventure together with you, must be the ultimate dream : )

    I truly look up to you and all of the guest writers on your site, and have only found your site this year! Finding your blog has come in a critical time in my life and has got me thinking more and more about myself and what would truly make me happy with my life. I spent the last few years in my life reflecting on what my purpose was, my self-worth, and my happiness (or lack thereof). Finding TSN, I now have everything clarified to me by great writers, in words I couldn’t piece together on my own. Now it all makes sense and I have the confidence in myself to realize I knew all of this along but was in denial for fear of change in order to make my dreams come true.

    My dream would be to travel the world, learning about different cultures in a hands-on experience, and most importantly reaching out and helping those that need it. I am hoping I can inspire others in one form or another, much like you have done for so many people including myself. I have started a personal blog that will be much different than past ones (full of negativity) and will only focus on the good (I really just started it, it has nothing in it, but I’m so happy with the process thus far). Being a lover of blogs and blogging, I know this is my first step to becoming happier and being true to me.

    Thanks for all you do Tina!!! I am incredibly grateful. You have re-introduced hope in my life using your own personal experiences and also all of your guest writers as well, to go out and capture my dreams once more.

  8. Skweekah

    “You become so fed up with how you don’t want to feel that you become extra motivated to change.”

    So true for many of us. I know that this is the case for me.

  9. Annie

    I dream of writing books. Thank you for reminding me that becoming intimidated by the thought of writing a whole book and therefore giving up is not the way to write a book. Just taking the next step, writing a little bit at a time, even writing badly until it becomes good, is the way to write a book. I am inspired!

  10. Great tips on making your dreams come true, but the first step is a conundrum for me. I’ve heard spiritual and self-help ‘gurus’ tell people ‘not’ to get specific. Why? Because when you get specific you could miss your dreams due to the fact they don’t show up the way YOU wanted them to. They may show up in other ways — better than what you could have imagined. And if you so specific, so focused on your dreams appearing they way you think they ‘should’ appear, you can miss them. So…Do you get specific? Or, do you get a little specific and allow the universe to unfold and deliver your dreams in a way that’s better than you could have imagined? Thoughts?

  11. I noticed I had some errors in my sentence, “And if you so specific, so focused on your dreams appearing they way you think they ‘should’ appear, you can miss them.” It was supposed to read, “And if you’re so specific, so focused on your dreams appearing the way you think they ‘should’ appear, you can miss them.” I’ve only had a few sips of coffee. :)

  12. Tasbiah

    I noticed an error in my last paragraph too, I didn’t mean to say nip it in the bud with regards to dreams, but to show how people can prevent fear from stalling them in their process of achieving their dreams. Just to be clear. :)

  13. Tina,

    Thanks for sharing your story! I think we’ve all been in that moment in which it’s time to “sink or swim” so to speak. You said “one small shift in thinking and doing has allowed it to work for me” – if only people realized how much one small shift could improve their entire lives, they’d be doing a lot less worrying and a lot more positive changing. Great post!

    Steve

  14. Congrats Tina! So happy for you and your family. I loved that you dreamed of your husband and he came to you. I did the same thing, only I often say he’s even better than the dream I made. You can’t think of everything, but getting the details down sure do help ;)

  15. Excellent list. I believe one of the most important for anyone to fulfill their dream in life is to move out of their comfort zone and take massive actions. Sadly, the first step of moving out of the comfort zone is always the hardest to achieve.

  16. I think it is nice to dream and imagine people, things or situations which would make you happy, with or without details. This can help in knowing yourself, or even to take a decision at a given moment.
    I have to practise this, because I am going through very special time: my midlife change years. A lot of things will change and it’s maybe up to me to introduce new features in my life.

  17. Congratulations Tina – what an inspirational story! In fact I’m introducing a new feature on my blog tomorrow and am definitely going to include a link to your story because it’s the perfect illustration of the power of living intentionally!

  18. Adenita

    You and this article are really inspired me. Thank you Tina.

  19. Andrew

    Tina! Thank you for this article!!! So encouraging!
    It is my dream to be a professional body builder/trainer and fitness model. I have never admitted this to myself until lately when work has been so stressful for me. It has pushed me to finally embrace my dreams!

    Thanks for what you said, it was the next push to making my dreams a reality.

  20. Hello Tina
    I want to congratuate you on your dream come true and also for your efforts yeilding awesome results. I shared my post with my love recently and she was encouraged to work hard, including myself. the points I want to make here are:
    first, your points on dreaming are very important. it is very important that we humans dream and dream big. there is power in big dream and positive thinking. the problem with humans dreaming big is that we lack patience most time. we tend to desire our dreams to come to past on time and we easily give up. look at how long it took you to arrive to your dreams. we humans are always afraid of test of time. we have to be stand the test of time.
    secondly, we are always afraid of failing just as you said. the truth is that there is no way any one can succeed without failing. it is through our mistakes that we learn and move forward in life.
    thirdly, I want to point out that there is no way we can make our dreams come true without networking. what I mean by networking here is that someone like me need someone like you Tina to make a successful blog. The same goes to any endavour in life. we need network to succeed in life. for instance, come to Africa and see how youths struggle to make their dreams come true but due to lack of opportunities and networking, they stay for too long and may eventually not make it. I have being running a blog for years now and I have made nothing from it simply because I don’t have network. most successful humans don’t want to help others. I have an interesting novel I wrote about the condition of Police services in Nigeria (Police man story) but no one is willing to help me publish it. we need network for our dreams to come true.
    as usual, I share useful links to other members here: the first one is on how to over come the problem of fear in your relationship and the second one is interesting love poems: http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com/2012/03/relationship-problems-handling-fear-in.html and http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com/2012/05/love-peom.html

  21. Bridget

    Thank you, for having the passion and confidence to share your wisdom. Ive never sat down and read someone elses thoughts and related as well as just now. I can hear what your saying and its now giving me a push to try harder without all the fear that has held me back from truly opening up what I can offer the world. Thank you again I’m very grateful I found such an enlighting web page that spoke to my soul.

  22. Alyssa

    Hi! I just came across your site while reading Gala Darling’s post on finding happiness. I seem to struggle with being happy just about every day! My job drags me down.. it’s meaningless to me, drama within my family has taken a toll on me, and living in an area that I don’t want to be in has made me bored. I tend to think about all of these things, just about every moment that I am awake. I struggle to see or think about anything positive.
    I am aware of what my situation is doing to me and I really want to change it, but I always find myself being afraid to move forward with any changes or improvements. I am so insecure depressed that I can’t really recognize what I am good at.. and I don’t find myself really excited about something that I want to get into it. So maybe my fear gets in the way.
    I don’t really know what I am meant to do, but I do know that I want to move to NYC (feeling trapped in the woods of New Hampshire!!), and I am passionate about veganism and saving animals. When I was young, I thought I wanted to be a marine biologist, but I ended up going to art school. I wanted to quit halfway through college because I felt like it wasn’t the right field for me. Here I am, almost 29, and I am not in the place that I want to be in my life. The only thing that feels right about my life is my boyfriend of 7 years. He makes me happy. I always feel like taking the time to think about my dreams is a waste because it will never happen. But secretly I would love to change how the world treats animals, and what we put into our bodies (if I could, I would shut down all fast food chains that are unhealthy. I personally don’t want to eat meat, but I know it is a natural process and others can do as they choose but please don’t choose McDonalds). I don’t know how to follow these dreams that I have but I hope I can one day. I know working an 8 hour day would be so much more pleasant if my work was meaningful.

  23. Ava

    Help! I also made my wildest dreams come true, NY gallery, big house in nice neighborhood, devoted husband, lovely children. But now, many years later, it is a struggle to make any money with art unless I work like a dog, if the gallery even pays, my house is a huge money pit, my now adult child won’t leave home, I love my husband but sex is beyond dull. It is hard to make new dreams when I know the reality of reaching them brings boredom. What do I do with all this art I keep making? People say it’s great, but marketing is still 90% of the game. Do I just sell it cheap or pack it away? This house? The family? I can run away, but where to and why? I realize you are at a point in life where everything still looks so promising but what happens after the dreams are fulfilled? I just can’t rest on my past accomplishments, if I could I’d be in great shape , but reality doesn’t seem to work that way. Help!

  24. S.E. Booker

    Tina,

    Thanks so very much! I’m a young writer–a very young writer–and sometimes, I doubt my abilities to be able to craft a believable, yet majestic, fantasy story that I am attempting to create.

    It’s based on the cartoon (It’s actually an anime) I made up when I was little. At first, it was my sister who had the idea of having her own story, but I soon followed at age nine. No one listened to my hopeless ramblings of “Portal” or “The First Entertainer” until one day I suddenly decided to put some down on paper. That was the beginning of 2012.

    Let me tell you, my work was beyond horrible! I ended sentences with prepositions, used alliterations, made meaningless paragraphs–I just broke every rule in the book.

    But my mother (God bless mothers!) loved me so much, she read a few pages out of my raggedy, old note book and said, “I promise, we’re going to get you published.”

    Fast-forward seven months later, my skills have improved so immensely, the entire plot of the story has been restructured! They wanted me to publish my first draft (A rough, ugly, terrible short story) but I refused time and time again.

    Finally, here I am now, finally presenting the final draft, trying to make it to the end of the story without letting the novel lose its potent touch. But sometimes I doubt my self. God knows, I won’t know what to do with my self if my book isn’t a huge success. But I believe in the impossible! If I’ve got big dreams, its going to take big work and big time and big effort to get me out there!

    Nevertheless, enough of my rambling, I wrote this to thank you for inspiring me once more! Yes, I’m afraid. Yes, sometimes I have doubts. Yes, I don’t know what tomorrow brings–but I refuse to be held down with a conviction so strong, it threatens to manifest into the material plane and grant me the victory I’ve shed tears for!

    Thanks again, and remember my name,

    S.E. Booker

  25. Linda t

    It is my dream to win the lottery (I even have a specific amount in mind). I want my husband to be able to quit his job so we can spend everyday together. He works a lot and I miss him everyday. We love being together so him being financially able to quit would be a dream come true!

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