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How to End a Relationship

Photo by Erik Clausen

Breaking up with someone you love can be one of the toughest emotional struggles you’ll go through. How have you handled breakups in the past? What can you do to minimize pain for the other person and yourself?

I’ve been on quite an emotional ride recently. What has been weighing heavily on my heart and mind involves a slice from my personal life. Without going into details, Adam, my partner for the past year, and I have decided to part ways. We will remain good friends.

The past three weeks have been a tremendously painful period, feelings of empathy mixed with remorse and guilt. The impulse to burst into tears would hit me sporadically throughout the day.

When I first wrote about the art of keeping a relationship, my friend Pete Forde suggested that perhaps people could also benefit from an article on how to end a relationship. I noted his brilliant suggestion without further thought. Little did I know, this would become the center of my experience a month later.

This being a sensitive topic, I had a tough time finding genuine and in-depth resources online. My goal here is to capture the understanding and wisdom I’ve gained from going through this event, and to perhaps be of help or a point of clarity for your life story.

Feel free to add points that I’ve missed in the comment section. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.


Why Relationships End & Other Realizations

As painful as a relationship can be as it’s ending, the experience can be a source of profound learning and personal growth. I’ve learned as the years goes by, just when you are getting comfortable, life will throw something at you which challenges that comfort. Don’t big life shifts always appear this way?

Instead of looking at these challenges with frustration, treat them as an opportunity for change in the life direction you were meant to lead and benefit from. The following are some realizations I’ve learned with regards to relationships and the ending of them.

1. The Failure Misconception

Socially, we tend to correlate the ending of a relationship with failure. We even articulate it as such; we say, “I’ve failed in this relationship”. By framing as such, we leave a negative impression in our minds and an association with relationships in general.

The ending of a relationship is not a failure, but rather the ending of a life situation in our story. We were meant to experience the relationship for its joyful moments and we were meant to learn from its challenges. New life and death are all around us. Every inhale we take is a birth and each exhale is the death of that breath; and life continues.

2. Being Honest to Your Needs

It’s important to clearly understand our needs in a relationship and qualities in a mate. Be absolutely honest with yourself and don’t compromising the qualities that are essential to you. What typically happens when we find a quality, which deeply matters to us, is missing in our partner, we think that they can be changed.

Truth is, we can’t make people change we can only change ourselves. Small things will magnify with time. Be conscious of these small things and be honest with yourself. Understand your needs and be true to yourself. We only have a set amount of time in this life, make it matter.

3. Fear and Guilt

We stay in relationships that we know aren’t necessarily right for us because we are afraid. We fear loneliness, we fear hurting our partner, and we fear having to deal with uncomfortable situations. The guilt comes in when we recognize that we are not being honest with ourselves and thus being unfair to our partners.

4. ‘Borrowed’ Desires

Sometimes in the presence of someone who is completely focused in getting what they want (ie. Your love), it influences your desires when in their presence. You pick up their strong vibe and their desire transfers to you.

In a relationship, if one partner feels significantly stronger than the other, sometimes this strong desire rubs off on the other person. In the presence of the more interested partner, the less interested partner will feel that “This is the right thing for me. This feels right.” When separated from the partner with the strong desire, the less interested partner will feel less intense or indifferent about the relationship.

5. Love and Romance Can Be Mutually Exclusive

Sometimes when we have strong connections with people, we instantly relate it to a romantic relationship, and end up jumping into one with them. You can love people without being in a romantic relationship. I think we are socially conditioned to believe that love for someone equals romance.

Truth is, the love we feel for others comes from a beautiful place within ourselves, that infinite feeling of love is an expression of our true nature, it has nothing to do with other people. Instead of jumping into romance, we can cultivate a harmonious friendship with that person.

6. Social Pressure

I felt the social pressure when considering my options. But at the end of the day, that pressure comes from my ego out of fear that I would look bad. I have a public image and on some level, I was afraid what people might think of me afterwards. That can turn into negative self talk.

Here is an example of such a thought, “What would my friends think? What would my readers think? I am a horrible person.” I got out of this state by gaining clarity and recognizing that I needed to be honest with myself.

7. Loss of Friendship

Traditionally, when relationships end, we tend to cut everything off. It’s silly to conclude that after sharing months and years with someone, that if one component of the relationship changes, all else must be cut off. Why can’t we continue the other components of the relationship after our hearts are healed? Friendship does not have to be lost.

8. Fantasy Fueled By Desire

We let our minds get caught up in an idea, a vision of how something should be, and we end up living in that fantasy instead of reality. We repeatedly play the same videos in our mind, and believe that we will be happy when our life situation matches that of the mental videos. The same applies to our idea of relationships. It is easy to let our desires get in the way of reality, and we end up living in a fantasy world within our current relationship… until one day, we wake up from that fantasy.

How to Break Up with Someone

Photo via Erik Clausen

Once you’ve decided that parting ways is the best solution, doing the actual break up can be pretty nerve racking, since people’s hearts are on the line. Here is a series of steps to help you through it and suggestions of ways to reduce pain caused to the other person.

1. Clarity

Make sure you understand why you are doing it. Sometimes the surface reason isn’t the real reason. Dig deep within yourself to find the real reason. Being surrounded by the situation can cloud your judgment. Separate yourself from the situation and spend some alone time. This will help you gain the clarity you need. I’ve found journaling to be an effective tool.

2. Self Honesty

Make the commitment to be honest with yourself and the other person. The truth will set you free. Be committed to that.

3. Setup Meeting Time

Setup mutual time to talk to your partner as soon as possible. Some people are opposed to phone breakups. I think that face-to-face is always best, but if distance separates you, it’s best to do so as soon as possible rather than waiting.

4. State of Compassion

Before your meeting, get into a state of compassion for the other person. In a state of compassion, you will exude love and understanding, which you’ll need to help the other person heal. Some suggestions to help you get into a compassionate state:

  • Deep Breathing – Stand up straight, close your eyes, and place your hand on your heart. Take deep, long inhales and exhales. You can count the inhale/exhale length. After inhaling, hold your breath for a 5 count before exhaling slowly. Repeat at least 15 times.
  • Gratitude – Sit somewhere comfortable, close your eyes, and picture everything you are grateful for. One by one, images of people, situations, places, and things appear in your imagination. Alternatively, try writing this down instead of visualizing.
  • Focus on Love – Close your eyes. Optionally, put on some slow music which you enjoy. In your imagination, go back to all the times when you felt loved and when you felt love for others. Imagine times where you truly felt happy and free. Imagine yourself as a little kid, experiencing joy and freedom. Do this exercise for at least 5-10 minutes.

5. The Meeting

During the meeting, focus on communicating your reasons clearly and respectfully for the sake of the other person. Here are some additional pointers for when explaining yourself during the meeting:

  1. When explaining, focus on how things made you feel, this way your partner doesn’t get defensive. Make it clear that the situation is not their fault, since blaming doesn’t add value in helping the situation.
  2. Talk about things you’ve learned from the relationship and what you are grateful for.
  3. Be Genuine in everything that you say. If you don’t mean something, don’t say it. People can detect when you are not being authentic.

6. Be There

Your partner will get emotional and possibly very upset. They will bounce between different emotional states. Your job is to be there for them. Become the observer of the situation. Stay conscious, calm and alert.

7. Don’t take anything personally

When we are emotional and feeling hurt, we can easily become irrational and say things we don’t mean. Don’t be surprised if your partner acts like a small child and says unreasonable or mean things to you. They don’t mean it. They are simply hurt and need attention from you. Don’t take anything personally. Become the observer so you don’t get attached to what’s being said and react defensively.

8. Love Them

Love them regardless of the situation. They are human and have feelings. Remember you can love people without needing to be in a romantic relationship with them. Be there for them in that state of love and compassion, regardless of how they react. This will help you find your center, while remaining calm to best help the other person deal with the situation.

9. Fully Express Emotions

If you feel like crying, do it, and do it fully. This will release the emotional clutter in your inner space.

10. Multiple Meetings

it really takes several days before news can sink in. Don’t expect to meet once and be done with it. It is your responsibility to be there for that person, at least initially during a breakup situation.

11. Be Available

Do whatever is necessary to help them heal without compromising your values. Be available for them when they need you.

12. Space

Give them space. They will be hurt no matter what, so even if they appear fine on the outside, they are hurting. What they need now is time. Check up on them a few times in the beginning to make sure they are okay and to let them know that they matter. Remind them that you are here if they need your help to heal.

13. Relinquish Guilt

You may experience guilt, since you are the one initiating the breakup. You see that you’ve caused pain and this may affect your state of being. The following are some ideas that help to let go of this feeling:

  1. Meditation
  2. Deep Breathing
  3. Alone Time
  4. Exercise to Release Energy

How to Cope with Your Partner Leaving

I’ve had my share of heart breaks and understand what it feels like to be on the receiving end. It hurts, it really hurts. You feel like it’s the end of the world, and you wonder how you can possibly get over it. You will feel pain and despair, but I promise you, you will get over it. Time is the magic ingredient.

Photo via Aurora

I will have an in depth article on this topic soon. For now, here are some pointers for those on the receiving end of breakups. These have been helpful for me in the past.

  • Talk With Friends – In verbalizing your thoughts and options, you’ll gain better understanding and perspective.
  • Surround Yourself with Positive Energy – Be surrounded by friends and family. Be around happy and optimistic people. Be around people you like. Be around people who can make you laugh.
  • Love Yourself – Spend time inwards with loving yourself. Doing things to appreciate and love yourself will help you gain the self confidence and independence you need to heal. When was the last time you really appreciated yourself?
  • It’s Okay to Cry – In fact, I recommend it. Express the pain and let it all out. Don’t hold anything back, cry fully. Letting it out will be liberating for your being. It’s okay to cry.
  • Find the Lesson – What did you learn through this relationship? I’m a big believer that good can come out of every situation, even ones we’ve perceived as bad. Focus on what you’ve gained in life lessons that you wouldn’t have learned otherwise.
  • Fully Experiencing the Pain – When pain strikes, our instinct is to avoid it. We distract ourselves with other tasks while suppressing the pain. This doesn’t actually make the pain go away. “What we resist, persists.” The best way to deal with the pain is by fully facing it. Closing your eyes, fully experience that feeling of sharp pain within your being, and become the observer of that pain within you. Separate the observer from the pain.
  • Gratitude Visualization – Put your hands on your heart and gently shut your eyes. Visualize all the things, experiences, and people that you are thankful for. If you are visualizing a person, see their face smiling at you with joy and kindness. Give thanks for all the things we take for granted, parts of our body, the things we enjoy about our jobs, people who love us. Give thanks to your heart, which works continuously, without which we wouldn’t be here. Give thanks to our safe homes, the abundance of food, and clothing to keep us warm. Give thanks to people who have been kind to us. Give thanks to authors who have inspired us. Gratitude puts you in a state of love, acceptance and understanding.
  • Benefits to Me? – Focus on how this new situation can help you. Maybe you will now have the free time to pursue something that’s important to you. Maybe you can gain the independence and freedom you’ve wanted to experience for yourself.
  • Time Heals – After the initial shock has sunk in and you’ve had plenty of communication with your ex, take time to be separated from your ex partner. It’s hard to gain clarity, perspectives and independence while being reminded of them constantly. I recommend taking a few weeks to be apart: no meeting, no emails, no phone calls. With time, you will heal.
  • Silence Heals – Sit silently and observe your emotions and thoughts. Have a journal and pen at your side. When you have a realization, write it down in your journal. Use journaling as a tool to help you sort out your thoughts. It has the power to help you gain clarity.


* How have you handled breakups in the past? How would you do it differently if given the chance? Got tips for coping with breakups from the receiving end?  Share your voice in the comments below. Let’s make this a collective learning experience. Thank you for sharing this moment with me.

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About the author

Tina Su is a mom, a wife, a lover of Apple products and a CHO (Chief Happiness Officer) for our motivational community: Think Simple Now. She is obsessed with encouraging and empowering people to lead conscious and happy lives. Subscribe to new inspiring stories each week. You can also subscribe to Tina on Facebook.

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255 thoughts on How to End a Relationship

  1. will

    This seems like terrible advise for men but perhaps all this works for women I won;t be agonizing as much as suggested.

    thanks anyway.

  2. Kim

    I came across this post while I was looking for something that would put in words what I am feeling and thinking. A significant relationship is ending and I have been struggling with guilt and the feeling that I have failed in this connection with another person, that I care about.

    And then I read this post – and it struck me like lightning. I didn’t fail. I know that people come into your life for all sorts of reasons – perhaps they are there for a season, or they are there for a reason….or they are there for a lifetime. Why they enter and why they leave isn’t really known all the time, not right away anyway….but it’s trusting that it was supposed to happen that matters. You were supposed to learn something – and feeling guilty about the end minimizes what that relationship was supposed to bring into your life, and into theirs.

    So I thank you for this ‘aha’ moment. I took bits of this blog and put it in my gratitude journal to think and reflect on – and everytime I read it, I’ll be grateful I wandered across this post :)

  3. Love

    Hi Tina. Thanks those are some lovely words… and the energy you put into those words makes me realise that one really has to go beyond themselves to reach reality = Love.

    Revenge, Hatred, Negativity seem sometimes the best option of breaking up but the truth is that you will be hurting yourself more if you handle it in this way.
    I have been through a few relationships. The last one just ending, trying to make it a happy note. He is a married man, but separated because we fell in love. Due to his public status he could not divorce her immediately and they have a young daughter too. I was getting very frustrated, being the second wife, so to speak. Off late i had been on a very sour tour, sending him msgs n saying things where i was emphasising he is a cheater bla bla bla…
    I was actually fighting myself, because deep down inside somewhere i knew i had to move on… but for me usually it’s so hard to let go off someone that i allow the other person to hurt me n as a result break up. Now this time i decided that i was not going to let it get so far again and decided its time to let go… i ended it a bit negatively but after just having a few days by myself i felt more at peace with my decision n now i sent him a msg thanking him for the wonderful moments and contributing to me becoming the stronger person i am today… n on this note i too want to thank you for sharing your experience. God bless :)

  4. xceia

    i have one question…will you tolerate if your love one remains friends with his 5years realationship ex girlfriend.???

  5. Lisa

    My romantic partner ended our 18 month relationship a week ago via email. Although I have wanted to I have not responded as yet as I am very hurt and I feel as though I need time for my heart to catch up with my head. He commented in his email that he is sure he is going to hear an earful but at the end he also said if I have feelings for him please let him go.
    I do care for him deeply so want to honor this request but I need the chance to say my peace and my own goodbye. I am not comfortable doing this via email.
    Any suggestions.

  6. joe

    Hi everybody,
    Reading Tina’s eloquent post and the thread was really informative for me, because I am not acquainted with many people who have experienced any breakups in their lives. Almost all of my friends had only one relationship in their life, which still continues, hopefully for the rest of their life. Although I went through a divorce, it wasn’t as bad as the way people here describe. I didn’t feel emotionally connected to my ex-wife, and the divorce was a relatively easy process.
    This may sound strange to you, but I live in the heart of new work, in Brooklyn. I am an orthodox, Hasidic Jew, and pre marital sex is strictly forbidden in our community. We marry at a young age, after a number of dates with our bride to be, and if we feel that we are suitable for one another and we have a common language etc., we get engaged. The first kiss is on the night of the wedding.
    I was always mad at this system, I thought it’s an unforgivable crime that we don’t have a choice to marry our romantically loved ones, I thought it’s unfair that our choices are so narrowed down. In fact, I myself have gotten out of my first marriage, due to the fact that we hadn’t really known each other before we got engaged, and eventually it turned out to be a disaster.
    But now, after reading all this lamenting about messy breakups, I’m giving it a second thought. I am no longer sure what way is the right one. I would suggest something in between. Taking more in consideration and making sure that we are in love is absolutely necessary, but to fall in love (chemically, that is) too quickly, and taking things too easily, the consequences are almost inevitable. It’s about time we slow down the rapid speed of contemporary modernity.
    Btw, I am now married to the love of my life; you can read the story about my two marriages here

  7. computer

    Excellent goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you’re just too excellent. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you are stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to read much more from you. This is actually a wonderful web site.

  8. John

    I stumbled upon your article doing a bing search. I’m do glad I did as I am in the beginning stages of mutual breakup.we live with each other and for various reasons can’t make each other happy even though we love each other. Your advice/story gives me hope even though the pain is sharp and the sadness intense,i evil take things one day at a time

  9. Julian

    I’ve been talking to my boyfriend of two years of breaking up. He took it well but this is my first break up, and i have so many conflicting feelings to overcome. This article has so much insight though, thank you :)

  10. Garrett Almazan

    I precisely wanted to say thanks again. I’m not certain the things that I would have worked on without the actual secrets discussed by you about this theme. Entirely was a real depressing condition for me personally, but taking note of a expert tactic you dealt with it forced me to weep for delight. I am just happier for your advice and as well , trust you are aware of a great job your are undertaking educating people today through the use of your webpage. More than likely you haven’t got to know any of us.

  11. Anders

    Great article. Not many articles speak about the idea of remaining friends after the heart heals. I am a big proponent of this. I have realized in a couple of break ups that I still really love the person and just because we were no longer romantically involved, there are many qualities about the person that I cherish. This takes a whole lot of maturity from both parties. Unfortunately, most people can’t bring themselves to do that.

  12. Nikki

    Tina, thanks for your thoughts. I went through my break up last night. It was the oddest thing, we broke up sort of matter of factly but today I feel really affected, even though, I knew the relationship was right for me, and even though I knew I was short changing my partner.

    Your article made me realise that fear was what probably kept me tied to my partner. Though, I am still not sure why I feel like crying today, I should be relieved but I am not, now I just feel kinda alone. But, head high…life continues and i expect that in a few weeks, I will feel a whole lot better.

    Thanx for the article, it helped a great deal.

  13. niCky

    Hi, I’m niCky I’m a LesbiaN….. Yup gay and I’m ending My relatioNship oF 9months with my girlfriend… I’m not happy I’ve completely lost all trust in her in us and in what we wanted……. I’m her first and now she’s more into the gay life she feel like she should do as she like and I shuould just trust that she loves me and won’t leave she wanting 2 leave would never be a problem all I’m asking 4 is respect and sinCe she can’t give me that likkle bit of respect I crave 4 then it makes no sense I settle for less when I know I’m worth more… I know its goNna hurt like a bitch to let go cause I’m hurting nOw… But I’ve coMe 2 learn I’m just huMan and I can’t do it all at oNce it will take a step at a tiMe and I will get over all the hurt…. I know people may see this comment and bash it but only one man can judg me and that’s god… I never ask to be gay I can’t help how I feel when it comes on 2 the same sex I really can’t.

  14. phillip

    PLS READ MINE male.27.van =)

    Been in a relationship for six years now. with a girl I started to date after high school. We both finish our studies and have careers now, we are going through this breakup stage. Haven t talked to her in 2 months and after reading this article I feel that we can still be friends even tho i hated the concept of it in the first place. Our Last chat was on the telephone. For the past two months I cant seem to find closure. Until I have found this article so I’ll give it a try. Reading how others feel here in the comments really helps too because it makes you fell like your not alone going through this situation. I’am a kinda guy who doesn’t want to have regrets. So just in case 60 years from now how I might start to wounder how she’s doing I want to know for myself. than cutting all ties with her. That past 6 years together really meant a lot to me, memories that would truly last a life time and think apon from time to time. But it is time to grow to take on a different path and see what the future has for us. I want to see others do the same too. I think that if there infidelity involved it is much difficult to do so.

  15. Linda

    Thank you for this oh-so necessary article. I recently ended a relationship and being honest with myself and “borrowed” desires were key in my need to end it. I was feeling horrible and wondering what was wrong with me, but your article reinforced my believe that in order to follow my true path I needed to end the relationship. It’s still sad, but I know I will be friends with my partner again when he is ready. Thank you so much for your insights and love.

  16. Brian

    Great article. I will be ending a relationship tonight with someone that I truly love but we just aren’t really right for each other from a “couple” standpoint. I know she will not take the news well, but I must tell her. I’ve been putting it off way too long. I want to do this in a respectful way and also remain friendly with her. The info in this article is helpful for me.

    • jen

      i am having a hard time finding the words to end it. He is a great person but I feel it is not a match and after a year i am increasing feeling more and more stressed when he calls and wants to spend time with me. I do not feel the same as he does and I just want to move on. I know this will be painful for him, but I can’t take it anymore. Its not being fair to him or me, but it is hard to know what to say. He was hurt in the past. I was too, it took some time but I got over it. I tried to break it off once before, but he was comparing me to his ex and that bothered me. He just isn’t the right person for me in the big picture. HELP.

  17. Laura

    About a year and a half ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. I think he must have read your article and followed your advice to a t. As the break upee, I have to say that I don’t believe your advice to check in on the person you just broke up with is good for that person. Perhaps you can salve your own guilt that way, but in reality the person needs to move on. When you check in on them, it keeps that from happening. They think that you are still interested, that things might change. The most painful part of my break up was when my ex-boyfriend contacted me. All of the initial pain came rushing back, and I felt myself reeling all over again. It’s not fair. A year and a half later, and I still am not sure that I could be “friends” with someone who was my best friend and rejected me. I suppose eventually I could be cordial if we found ourselves in the same room. But when the feelings are still raw, I think it’s best to leave that person alone and let them heal.

  18. Your way of explaining the whole thing in this paragraph is genuinely good, all can simply understand
    it, Thanks a lot.

  19. Sarah

    I was having serious relationship problems with my husband and it had resulted in him moving out.Everything got worse,he started going to strip clubs frequently,getting drunk and passing out..Sometimes when we talked on phone,he would threaten me,he was just not himself and our children were suffering for all the drama. I really love him and we had been married for 15yrs which gave us three beautiful daughters..I had also lost a lot of money on therapists and spell-casters..I was in debt and I felt my world crumbling..I was introduced to a spell caster by a friend who he helped with the same thing and I thought it was just a scam all over again but this time it was different..I did all he asked me to and after a few days,he started getting better,he started calling,texting,things just changed between us,emotions,our love.He has a job and has been sober since and am also out of debt..Its a miracle I never believed was possible,I had lost all hope until I found him..He works and if you have the same problem I did,he is the solution.

    • Lydia

      Please tell me who this person is. I am in the same situation except he threatens my oldest child from a previous marriage.

  20. mary

    ive been into a realtionship for a year and half, and we live together so amazing experience, so happy and almost perfect, but it wasnt, we never had a fight, every monthsary he do have surprises, flowers and he never forgets that date. he trully cares and love me, we do have plansfor future. till he have to go home for a vacation for his family for a month…its so sad once he will come i’m planning to brake up with him, its been 3weeks that he had left for vacation, we had communication, but its extremely painful ,that he’s now with his family, wife and kids.i’ve loss weight and sleepless nights im preparing myself , this article helps me a lot. i really do love him .

  21. Cindy

    Hey guys I’m also having a problem I’ll highly appreciate if you can help me please guy, I have no hopes anymore please try to help me guys please.

    I’m having a problem with my hubby and now I don’t know what to do I even think of ending this relationship.

    I dated him while he was still in love with his girlfriend that was 2009, I was a virgin and since I slept with him alone till todate, they had a child but before I fall in love with him, we dated while he still dating the mother of his child after 3 years he dumped her girlfriend and fall for me then the next coming year it was 2012 I felt pregnant with his child and he came and pay lobola for me in December, so during this year of 2013 he once told the other girl that he want her to love him with the unique love, I freaked when I saw that msg things weren’t okay almost 1 week he apologised and all the staff I forgive him, I think a week after that I got the e-mail on his phone he was socialising with his ex girl friend saying when will you come and fetch the money of yours and the child? when the chat goes on it says can you please come sleep over tomorrow its was a pity that ex girlfriend of him was knocking off @10 so that didn’t happened. He kept that as a secrete when I ask him he says it was bugging him he wanted to tell me but he had no way of telling me because he knew I will freak, he cried and try to explained that he loves me and only me that was a stupid mistake he ever done. Now I’m confused if I must give the relationship a try or I must move on because I’m scared he might do it again please advise.

  22. In a relationship, if one partner feels significantly stronger than the other, sometimes this strong desire rubs off on the other person. In the presence of the more interested partner, the less interested partner will feel that “This is the right thing for me. This feels right.” When separated from the partner with the strong desire, the less interested partner will feel less intense or indifferent about the relationship.

  23. Lacey

    I feel everything! All sorts of emotions. It keeps coming back. It’s been 8 weeks since my breakup. I knew deep in my heart that he wasn’t a match for me, not someone that I wanted to be with forever. We were together for about two years. He didn’t fall in love with me. Knowing that he wasn’t in love with me after a while made me feel resentful. And the resentment made me react negatively and hold me back. I didn’t want to try anymore. I wasn’t as in love with him either but I genuinely cared and loved him. What hurts the most for me is that he said he wasn’t having fun with me… I dunno if he never did or maybe towards the end… it makes me question my self-worth. I know I shouldn’t take it personally. I really want to move on from him. I’m dwelling on it too much.

  24. Sarahface

    This, aside from giving just fantastic advice and hard truth in a time that is difficult for everyone experiencing this, has alongside it the gift of being a beautiful piece of writing. There are real quotes in there I will use forever.

    Thank you so much for this.

  25. tri tran

    The best solution to fell good immediately is to get on with life, and think god will open another door if he has a reason for closing this one. this might be a test he impose on you to see how honest your feeling to her is or vice versa. If she/ he decide to marry someone else, this relationship is not meant to be for you it just a transition to another better one.

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