How to Succeed Through Acceptance

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Photo by Antoine Robiez

I’ve spent a great deal of my life trying to figure out what I should do next, determining where I stand in relation to those around me, creating a harsh comparison between where I am and where I should be.

In these moments of contemplation, I’ve always found a way to diminish the beauty of where I stand today. What is out there always seems a little brighter, a little more impressive than what already surrounds me.

And this way of thinking and interacting with the world plants the belief that action is king — action is the only way to change and change is the only way from point A to point B.

But what if you’re supposed to stay at point A for a little while?

• To turn over stones that normally would have been ignored?
• To confront thought patterns that were no longer serving you?
• To foster relationships that needed tending to?
• To create a stable foundation?
• To simply breathe and let things unfold organically?

A few months ago, I was forced to confront the harsh reality that things in my life were not heading down the path that I had planned, that I was holding on to things that needed to be released and not accepting other things for what they truly were.

I was forcing outcomes that just weren’t meant to be.

Surrender and Open Up

And suddenly it was as if I was back to square one, back to the beginning and back to a place I never thought I’d be again.

After a few days of resistance — tears, outbursts, anger and the like — I surrendered to the idea that this was the experience I was intended to have and there was a greater purpose than the one (or lack of one) I could currently see.

Surrendering and opening up to the idea that there were a multitude of lessons in my current situation allowed me to reconnect with the present moment and be ok with what I saw there.

But one of the biggest lessons I learned was that nothing in the present moment needed to be changed — that I didn’t need to concern myself with deciding how I would manipulate it into something that looked or felt better.

Everything was exactly how it should be, and it would be that way until it evolved into something else — which would happen whether I coaxed the change or not.

Acceptance doesn’t mean surrender; it is simply a way to allow peace to permeate situations that are out of our control to begin with.

Allow Yourself to be Uncomfortable

Being in situations that bring up harsh and uncomfortable emotions can cause us to shut down and seek for an escape and not always in the healthiest and most positive of places.

I find that recognizing these emotions and allowing myself to sit with them for a little while lessens the sting next time they come up. I am able to spot them from a mile away — I know their triggers and what I can do to guide myself through them.

Being present with yourself and your emotional state can often times start the healing process.

Know That Not Everything Has a Remedy Right Now

Often times we busy ourselves with looking for solutions, completely forgetting the fact that divine timing has a role in everything.

You may be desperate to find a new job, but the perfect job for you may not be available at this time. Or, maybe you’ll be offered the chance to participate in a class within the next month that will then put you in alignment with finding the perfect job.

It’s easy to get discouraged when it feels as if everything is stagnant, but things are always unfolding exactly as they need to — we just may not always be aware of the time frame.

Learn to Be OK with the Stillness

Movement doesn’t always mean that positive change is happening, and stillness doesn’t always mean that things are staying exactly the same.

Be OK with allowing the current moment to remain as it is until the change that is undoubtedly happening just underneath the surface is ready to appear.

It’s OK to stop:

• meddling
• brainstorming
• feeling responsible for morphing the present situation into something else

Sometimes all things need is a little time and breathing room.

Recognize the Gifts

Every time I’ve faced something particularly difficult in my life, I have come out on the other side feeling better equipped to face other situations head on. There’s a strength and sense of empowerment that comes along with struggle, and that is not something that can be bought or obtained any other way.

Learn to see where the lessons lie, where you may have required assistance in seeing a better of way being or thinking. There is always some benefit or takeaway and finding it can offer a great sense of peace and acceptance for what is.

Surround Yourself with Support

Surround yourself with people that will support you in your struggle — that will talk when you request it or leave certain conversations alone if you aren’t prepared to discuss them. Spend time with people who root for you in the present moment and bring out a sense of gratitude for what already is.

I always find that spending time with those I love gives me a reprieve from the endless train of thoughts I have related to what is and how it could be made different. And when these thoughts do return later, they seem to have less of an effect than before.

Change is constantly occurring. What is in this moment will not be a year from now, or even a day from now. And often times, if we wade through the storm instead of finding our way out or around it, the reward is far greater.