6 Tips to Be More Confident

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Photo by Maxi Adrian San Agustin

Have you ever wondered why some people exude charisma while others just seem to be so plain?

We all know people who seem to have that special something that makes them stand out. They walk into the room and you can immediately sense that they operate on a completely different level than most other people.

In case you are wondering, the word charisma comes from the Greek language and it means a gift from the Gods/the Divine.

Based on the definition, you might think that charisma is something that only a select few will be able to possess. However, just as the elusive concept of luck, charisma is a trait that we all can develop.

At its core, charisma truly means to be in touch with one’s full potential and to possess self-confidence.

Now the thing about self-confidence is that when you operate from such a place of being, your experience of the world changes.

You know the term “con artist?” The actual term means confidence trick. Con artists rely on appearing confident in order to get their intended targets to do what they wish.

They have mastered the ability to realize that people respond well when dealing with someone who seems confident. It is simple human behavior.

I am not telling you to become a con artist. Rather, I am proposing that in order to become more charismatic, you need to become more self-confident. How does one do that?

Here’s how:

1. Be True To Yourself

In order to develop a sense of charisma, it is vital to be true to who you are and not morph yourself to fit into some standard.

Sheep are cute, but we are not meant to be like sheep. Don’t follow the herd. Be yourself. If you love art then embrace the artist within you. Do not go off and try to become an accountant. You will be miserable and miserable people cannot be charismatic.

Sit down with a piece of paper and write out who you are. Look over that list with a compassionate eye. Recognize what you can offer instead of trying to deny your truth.

To be charismatic, you have to know your truth and work with it.

2. Love Yourself

We all have things that we do not love about ourselves. Some of us may not love how we look. Others may wish that they were more intelligent or talented or whatever.

Wishing to be different is to deny the beauty that lies within you. We are all beautiful. We all have something special to share with the world. Don’t lament about what you don’t have. Celebrate what you do possess, and be proud of it.

This does not mean you become arrogant. All it means is that you know your value and worth. You are more than just a combination of muscles, organs, water and blood. You are an embodiment of love, and love can move mountains if it chooses to do so.

3. Clothes Do Not Make the Man or Woman

Many people have written that in order to be charismatic, you need to wear the right clothes. I disagree. You can wear a fancy suit but if you feel insecure — you are simply going to be an insecure person in a fancy suit.

The clothes you wear do not define who you are if you have no substance to back it up. For example, I make my living by working as a social media and branding consultant.

I run my own business, and I consider myself to be an artistic person. My clothes represent who I am. My clothes do not define me. I define them.

It is a subtle distinction but a very important one. Don’t waste your precious money on clothes if you are trying to mask insecurity. Pick clothes that reflect who you are. A monkey in a suit is still a monkey.

4. It’s All About Substance

Knowing your truth and loving who you are gives you a sense of substance. Nothing is worse than talking to someone who has no substance. It is very boring.

Many times people want others to like them so they may say what people want to hear without really having any substance. For example, in business, I hear many people who talk big but then when you look at their work, it is very poor.

Talking big is fine if you have the substance to back it up. The best example of this is Donald Trump. The man talks big but he does create quality products.

I used to live near New York City and I have seen many of Trump’s buildings. He lives up to his name and his talk. So don’t talk big if you do not have the substance.

If you love cooking, then embody cooking. Know your craft. Don’t do crappy work. Do excellent work. Pour all of your being into what you do. That gives you confidence.

If you love writing, then work your little heart out to become the best writer that you can be. Create quality work. That will give you substance and coming from substance will change how you feel and how you act.

5. Be Compassionate

Years ago, I had a friend who came from poverty and became rich. As a result, she was rude to every single person except those who were rich like her.

Going out to eat with her was a painful experience because she would be very rude to the waiter or waitress. I always ended up leaving a generous tip to make up for the cruelty of my friend.

My friend thought that being rude was a sign of confidence. It is not. Being rude is a sign of insecurity. The more confident you are, the more compassionate you become.

Do not judge someone because of how much money they may have. A waiter at restaurant, for all you know, may be a medical school student or an artist.

It is not your place to judge someone else’s worth. Your job is to focus on you. So be compassionate. It is a sign of strength.

6. Never Be Intimidated

There is no reason why you should be intimidated by another human being. A secure person does not allow another person to define who they are or how they should feel.

Someone who is prettier, richer, thinner or more educated than you should not impact how you feel about yourself. You are you and they are they.

The minute you allow someone else to intimidate you means you think you are worthless, and you are not worthless. Get such a concept out of your head. Everyone holds value, so value who you are.

Some people like to make others feel that they are not good enough. The people who do that are not worth your time or energy.

Happy people want others to be happy. Miserable and insecure people want others to be miserable and insecure. It is that simple.

We each have special gifts and talents to share with the world. We each are unique in our own way. Celebrate who you are. Don’t be ashamed of yourself.

Women, I think, torture themselves unnecessarily due to pressure about looks. I think men do that to themselves in relation to success. Both are wrong.

Live your life based on who you are, and work with what you have. When you love yourself, the rest of the world will love you back. And you don’t have to be a con artist do that.