The last time I felt a true sense of regret I was careening off the side of the road into a 30-foot ditch. For a split second I thought I might die.
That day there was a downpour, the road was collecting water, and, while I was going the speed limit, it was too fast for the conditions. I wanted to get to the next business destination.
Suddenly I could feel the car hydroplaning, and I struggled to keep the car straight. I’m guessing I kept the car on the road for 50 feet or so, before it caught enough ground to veer to the right, over the edge of the embankment.
I was eight weeks pregnant, and my daughter was 20 months old. It was a frightening experience, yet my feeling of fear paled in comparison to this powerful sense of regret.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the meaning of life and the impermanent nature of it all. Observing how we do what we do, the struggles we put ourselves through, the drama, the pain and the suffering.
While thoughts about life, death and purpose drift in and out of my consciousness on a regular basis, the seed of this post was planted, when Pooja sent me a link to “The Last Post” by Derek Miller.
I was just getting on a flight when I opened that link on my phone, and by the time I had finished reading it, tears were streaming down. I spent the rest of that flight, and weekend reflecting on the meaning of life.
“What is the point of life, when we come to the end?” I wondered.
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Simon PaisThe amateur believes he must first overcome his fear;
then he can do his work.
The professional knows that fear can never be overcome.~Steven Pressfield
For the last two months, I’ve been working on a mini book project I’m tentatively calling Life on Purpose [Update: It’s called Discover You Now. Read about it here.]—my first of hopefully many more to come. It’s been such an interesting process of self-reflection and discipline, exploring the multifaceted manifestations of fear.
The hardest thing isn’t to come up with great ideas or create time to work on it. The hardest thing is the constant battle with this invisible, but powerful force that seems to work against me. You know, that same force that whispers in our ears with convincing arguments on why we should delay action and (forever) procrastinate.
I’m sure you’re familiar with its luring voice, convincing you to do something else, anything, except the projects that you need to be doing—usually the projects that mean the most to you and will result in profound positive change.
Photo by Simon Pais & Vero Monaco
Waking up this morning, I smile.
Twenty-four brand new hours are before me.
I vow to live fully in each moment...~Thich Nhat Hanh
Today, I turn 31.
When I was little, I used to think people in their 30s were really old. Now that I’m in my 30s, that perspective has quickly shifted.
Standing where I am today, I still feel like a little kid, except I’m doing my best in playing the part of an adult–trying to fit in with other grown-ups, and subsequently hiding the little kid within.
Having been obsessed with the topic of happiness and personal development over the past seven years (holy crap!), I feel like I’m becoming more and more in touch with the little kid inside–honest, candid, and established in love.
It is in the innocent wonder and the in-this-moment presence of the child where lies the secret to happiness.
Here are 31 life lessons I’ve learned, standing here today as a (slightly wiser) 31-year-old.
One of the many things I admire about my husband is that he is very prone to taking action. He doesn’t stay stranded for long talking in circles about what he wants. He will consider thoughtfully about what he wants, mention it once, and then he’ll go out to do something about it.
Over the last few months, Jeremy has been obsessed with filmmaking using digital SRL cameras. He is a still photographer by profession.
One day, he came home with a proposal to invest some of our money in photo gear, so that he can learn at home, and get better. Knowing how important it is to develop our passions, I agreed.
A week later, two large boxes showed up at our house. That same night, after Ryan went to bed, he excitedly unpacked everything, and set it all up in our kitchen. He dragged me out of my office, and said, “Honey, let’s do a video!”
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Vadim PacevIt is not enough if you are busy.
The question is, what are you busy about?~Henry David Thoreau
Do you find that there is just not enough time to get everything done?
How many times a day do you usually use the word busy? I often catch myself busy working, cleaning dishes, cooking meals, doing laundry, catching up on the email, running errands and so on.
Our modern lifestyle creates time famine that we are forced to live with; there seems to be never enough time for anything. Even if we manage to get most of our tasks and responsibilities done, our personal time and time with our loved ones suffer.
Just the other day I was doing my house chores in the evening. One of my three-year-old daughters came up to me and wanted to play. By habit I told her that “mama was busy” and this is when it hit me.
I lost my mother to cancer when I was just 13. Experts at the time said that it would have a psychological impact on me, and friends and family later told me that it did.
I still don’t truly understand how it affected me and I believe the answers have been locked in a box in my mind with a key I cannot (or choose not to) find. Maybe there is nothing in that box, or maybe I’m just not ready to open it. Whatever the case may be, I’ve never really spent any time digging into the emotional impact of her death, and couldn’t tell you how the various intricacies of my psychology would differ today if she is still here today.
Having said this, there was one dramatic change that I did pick up on: I become fearlessly independent and driven.
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Mike Bailey-GatesName the greatest of all inventors. Accident.~Mark Twain
I missed Yoga this AM, as I thought it was Wednesday instead of Tuesday . . . a recent side effect of finding it hard to sleep and easy to wake up. The irony of all this is I sent the above quote streaming into Twitter space right before I rushed into an empty yoga room. Accident–the greatest of all inventors.
My newly gained, completely open hour gave me the opportunity to write this piece, spend more time in meditation, and just allow my day to flow as it is.
As I approached my 28th year last month, I’ve learned that mistakes, “accidents” and synchronicities are a recurring open door that provide us with an opportunity to address what really needs our attention. While a simple analogy, sometimes it is in the most ordinary moments of our day where there is wisdom to be found…even in missed yoga.
Have you ever had the experience while talking to someone where the person is really not listening to you? They act like they are but it is obvious that they aren’t. The ironic part is that they probably think they are communicating with you but on some level you just feel that you weren’t heard at all.
Communication is something we all engage in on a daily basis but due to the pace of our lives, conversations become just formalities. It is like when you go to the store and the cashier asks you: “how are you?” It’s as if she was on cruise control as opposed to really being interested in how you are doing.
Living mindfully isn’t limited to meditation, but can also be applied to effective communication in our daily interactions with other people. This article takes a look at 10 effective communication tips using the principles of mindfulness.
Seeing a young child at play always makes me smile. Haven’t you looked at a young giggling face and felt joy, and maybe even a little envy? Wouldn’t it be great to recapture some of that childlike wonder and love of life again?
The truth is, the good life is closer than we think, as close as watching a child play. But how can watching a child play show us how to live a good life?
Picture in your mind a toddler playing with blocks. They are caught up in the wonder of each block, all the different shapes and colors and sizes.
They take each one in their hand, turning it all around in wonder & joy. There are some blocks that will be their favorites, but if even a favorite one rolls under a couch they will soon let it go & keep playing with the others.
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Simón Pais-Thomas
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