New Beginning
Photo by
Kevin Russ
For the past 8 months, I have been silently battling with, and drifting in and out of a state of depression. Perhaps it was the changing hormones in my prenatal and postnatal body, or perhaps it was life’s way of teaching me something new.
It has been a very painful process, but when I observe this period of my life from other perspectives, I realized that I am learning and relearning some of the most incredible lessons, through which I am able to recognize and change some old and very ridged behavior patterns and limiting beliefs.
This is a quick post to let you know that I am still alive, and that I am going through a tremendous period of healing, and that I am thinking about and writing the next full-fletched Think Simple Now style article, for you.
Last night, Ryan slept through the night for the first time since he was born, and I got 5-6 hours of continuous sleep, and I feel – for the first time in five months – like a human being again.
So hang in there, I am feeling better everyday, and I will be back very soon. Until then, here’s something that’s helped me in my own healing:
“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect whole, and complete, and yet life is ever changing. There is no beginning and no end, only a constant cycling and recycling of substance and experiences. Life is never stuck or static or stale for each moment is ever new and fresh. I am one with the very Power that created me, and this Power has given me the power to create my own circumstances. I rejoice in the knowledge that I have the power of my own mind to use in any way I choose. Every moment of life is a new beginning point as we move from the old. This moment is a new point of beginning for me right here and right now. All is well in my world.”
~ Louise Hay (You Can Heal Your Life)
Update:
Here’s the follow up article: How I Stopped Feeling Depressed
Hang in there, Tina! Thanks for sharing the update with us and I’m looking forward to your next post. :)
Hey Tina, I’m sure the universe will give you strength to overcome this phase and you will come back stronger and better soon!
Take care =)
Hope you get better soon Tina. Miss you.
Nice to have you back Tina.
I have been through that as well. Now my daughter is 5 years old and my son 10 months.
At least, it learn you to be organized.
I wish you to be better very soon and may you have a lot of strength and love around you! Keep going!
Just ran across the website today, and I must say that it will become one of my regulars. I just wanted to say that I went through the same type of thing a couple years ago, and it’s one of those things that eventually work itself out with time and I’m glad you’re doing better and I hope the great posts keep coming
Have you ever looked into the Law Of Attraction? It might be able to help you. You are so much stronger than you think you are.
Did you talk to other mothers or your own mother? Maybe that can help.
Be strong. Be Happy
Life is good and you know it.
Here is a short poem to cheer you up.
Think small
Think Tiny
Sometimes don’t even think
You may lead
But now you can follow
the pitter patter.
tiny steps will lead you
the smile shall follow
He gets up
one step a time
He falls
to getup again
today, tomorrow or next week
he never gave-up
he will walk one day.
you don’t know
as he may not know
But one day
you shall run
back into happiness
Watch him getup
see his strength
share his hope
understand his persistance
It is time
to finally run
while
you laugh
together
Tina – hang in there! Every phase with a new baby does transform into another; you just can’t always see it at the time. And they get bigger and less dependent and they eventually turn into people!
It is an amazing process. And I think you truly appreciate your own mother once you become one yourself.
Yep – you hang in there too! This is all a natural process of motherhood and you WILL get through it, promise :-).
Thank you Tina for your honesty. I suffered PPD with each of my children, falling deeper and deeper each time. I am glad that you are finding your way through.
Thank so much for the Louise Hat quote. It is exactly what I needed to read today. I found out yesterday that my surgeries will need to be postpone for a couple of months, pushing my whole recovery back. I am struggling to push forward, and her words helped.
Trece
Thanks for sharing! It was great to see a new post. I found your site not too long ago and have found it to be very inspiring. You are not alone…I think that is the most important thing to remember.
Nice to hear from you again Tina.
Hi Tina! I’ve been patiently waiting for your return and to hear your wisdom. Like you, I recently had my first child and she’s 8 mos. now. Its been a very difficult process. I’ve just been unhappy though I have so much to be thankful for, and I don’t have a clear explanation for it. Its just how I feel. I’m hanging in there and I wish you many moments of happiness and pure, sweet joy. I can’t wait to read your authentic words. Stay well. Peace & Blessings.
Thanks for the post Tina. What you are sharing goes much deeper than having a baby. I am inspired by and proud of you for being so honest and true to yourself. You can only be the best mother, wife and human being by taking your queues from the universe. It’s saying “wake up already” there is more for you to work on!
Enjoy this time with your son and your husband.
My son is 17 today! The only regret I have is not being more present at times when I was dealing with old pain. Please always know that life is sweet and you are loved.
It was great to get a post from you Tina! Sleep is paramount for mental health! I suffered from postpartum depression with my first child. It was a very hard road, but with anti-depressants, therapy and something to do outside the home….I recovered and grew as a person. Hang in there Tina! Having a child certainly changes your life!!!
Tina, it is so lovely to “hear” your voice again. I wish that all our paths could be light and flowy and easy and full of rainbows, but then what wisdom would you have to give your beautiful son?
Thanks for sharing Louise – I can never have enough Louise Hay in my day! Looking forward to hearing you more often,
Annie
Well this was a nice surprise today to see a post from you today. Welcome back Tina. Positive and healing thoughts are coming your way. Thanks for the update. I look forward to hearing from you in the future.
Don
Tina, my feed reader has been faithfully polling your blog’s feed and I have looked forward to your return as I am sure that so many others have.
Though we have never met face-to-face, you are my friend and I’m sure other readers feel the same way. Even though you have given us so much in the past, you owe us nothing more. We’ll be here waiting if you want to say something to us.
We are a patient lot of people. Take your time. When you do start to write something, make sure that you do it for primarily for yourself. You are so smart and insightful.
And if there is ever something you need, be sure to let us know so that maybe we can reciprocate in some way.
Hang in there and enjoy Ryan. If some of your depression has come from the fact that Ryan is now commanding so much of your time and attention, and it’s preventing you from being the superwoman that you have been in the past, let me remind you that it’s OK to let other parts of your life coast, or even grind to a halt, so that you can focus on being whatever it is that life demands of you right now.
Personal experience: most of my own depression comes out of feeling that I can’t do everything that I think I need to be doing to being successful. I have multiple businesses, none of them getting enough attention, and I have two awesome kids that require a bunch of my time… I don’t expect to be 100% on all of those things, but I get depressed when I feel like I can’t even be 80% on each one of those. I fail constantly. Sometimes I disappoint my kids ’cause work gets in the way. Sometimes I disappoint my business partners because life gets in the way. I most often disappoint myself because my own expectations get in the way… I want to do it all and I want to do it all really, really well… Reality is always there, giving me an endless stream of obstacles… And I get depressed. Funny, I know all of this, and I should just adjust my expectations downwards, and feel good about what I do accomplish, but… knowing the path and walking the path are entirely different things.
By the way, I know this great blog that might help you out. It’s called “Think Simple Now” and has lots of brilliant advice on how to find happiness and fulfillment. :-)
Lotsa Hugs…
I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like the lack of sleep (if 5-6hours of continuous is the most you’ve gotten in the last while) is probably the main factor in you experiencing states of depression.
But you probably already know this.
I feel like I know you because your posts are so honest and from the heart. This earth school is so challenging but in a good way. Hang in there it gets better and you get smarter. My daughter was 3 months early and weighed 2 lb 1 oz and don’t get me wrong it was hard but I wouldn’t change anything. She is now 21 years and both a challenge and a blessing. You will grow so much as a person you will look back and say “who was that girl”.
My daughter started sleeping through the night 8 days after she came home from the hospital. I promised her then I would love her the rest of her life, no matter what she did. :)
Tina – Reading and re-reading your site over the last 12 months of my life has brought me back to center when all around me has been upheaveal. Believe in your own words, strength and intuition… This wall you can climb. Know you are not alone and seek out other moms. If we’d all be willing to share our experiences with each other, good and bad, we’d be surprised how un-alone we are on this earth! hugs from this mom to you and yours… Be strong, be sweet and be you again.
Awesome quote from Louise Hay. Like her, you are an inspiration, I am sure, to so many readers.
I’m sure you’ll come around the bend just fine. You have the training, knowledge and wisdom to do so – so much more than most people. I hope you have confidence in that fact.
In the rear-view mirror, having a child was THE most pivotal, important and loving events of my life. My son, at 16, is absolutely the apple of my eye.
You’re on a fantastic journey, and will enjoy every single up/down, poop/pee, sleepless night and joyful giggle.
Namaste.
Blimey! (Yes, I’m from the UK) Seems like you started your website to give advice to others about the powers of the Universe, etc so the Universe has done you the great favour of throwing every conceivable challenge in your path to make you a very wise person indeed. You will, of course, live up to the challenges and overcome every obstacle and pass on your experience and advice to the rest of us.