31 Promises to Change Your Life

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Photo by Lauren Hammond

As a young girl, I learned early that I was different. I heard family members talking; I heard the mean taunts and the comments about my mother. I was constantly compared to a woman I knew nothing about.

Every time I did something wrong or didn’t get something right, I would brace for the barrage of insults and name calling. The most popular one was “You are going to be just like your mother.” No one had to tell me what that meant. I figured that out early when, at four years old, my cousin nicely told me I would never amount to anything.

I promised myself that I would prove everyone wrong. I would become someone. I worked harder in school and most of all, I did all I could to please everyone I came in contact with. I wanted to make everyone like me and not see the side that my family members saw.

No Idea Who I Was

I grew up insecure and withdrawn. I didn’t socialize well, and it was even worse when among people I didn’t know. I feared they would see me as my family members did.

The scariest part was that I had no idea who I was. I was constantly being compared to a woman I’d never met. My identity was tied to someone I didn’t know.

Who was I and where did I fit in? I spent most of my adult life doing things for people. Their approval was important to my well-being. I felt good when praised and things went well, but when things were not going well I would fall apart. My greatest fear was that someone would see someone else in me.

It took years of hard work and lots of tears to accept myself. It took me even longer to realize I was not what people thought of me. Even though I was my mother’s daughter I had my own identity. I may have been abandoned, but I refused to be ignored, invisible and defeated.

Finding My Voice & My Self

Since then I have worked on finding my voice and self. I made these promises to myself and have worked hard on keeping them, and I do believe they could also help you.

1. I Promise to Love Myself. It is easy to say you love yourself when things are good, but when things aren’t going well it is so easy to resort to not liking yourself. You have to learn to love yourself just the way you are, faults and all.

2. I Promise to Respect Myself. To earn respect, respect yourself and live above reproach. Respecting yourself is the key to self-growth and development. Learning to respect yourself requires work, and you must be prepared to work until you see yourself the way you see others who are very important to you.

3. I Promise Not to Criticize Unnecessarily. Self-critiquing comes very naturally. It is quite easy to find fault with yourself without even being conscious of it. It has become normal for many of us. You must constantly be conscious of the things you say to yourself daily. Make the promise not to criticize yourself unless it is constructive.

4. I Promise Not to Compare Myself To Others. In your eyes, you are never going to be as good as or as intelligent as someone you admire. Everyone always seems to be doing much better than you are. Make every effort not to compare yourself to anyone. You must understand that you are different from everyone else, and there will never be another you.

5. I Promise to Take Care Of Me. You must take care of yourself. You must be willing to exercise, eat right and do the necessary things to lead a healthy, happy and clean life. No drugs, alcohol nor negativity will dwell within this beautiful body of yours.

6. I Promise to Think Great Things Of Me. You must change your mind and thought pattern to think only kind things about yourself. You must try to be kind to yourself and use kind words to address yourself.

7. I Promise To Forgive Myself For My Past Shortcomings. Your past is in the past for a reason and should never be used to derail your future. You must refuse to remain angry about past mistakes. See them as learning experiences. View them as an opportunity to learn and become a better person.

8. I Promise to Take Full Responsibility For My Life. Your dreams are yours, and you must be prepared to bring them to life. Your life is your responsibility. All you will ever be is up to you.

9. I Promise To Listen to My Heart. Many times we fail to listen to what our heart is saying to us. We need to take time to analyze what we hear from our heart and decide if those things are worth going after. Take a chance on you.

10. I Promise to Love My Physical Body. We can be so very critical of our bodies. You must promise that you will learn to love your body the way it is, faults and all. Take the time to work on loving the parts you do not like, because they are yours and will be with you your entire life.

11. I Promise to Be Here Now. Mindfulness is something you must continue to work on daily. Remind yourself to be here and present. Do not let regrets ruin your tomorrows, and neither should you let the worries about the future steal your joy today. You must promise to get the most out of life by being mindful today.

12. I Promise to Live A Life That Is Right For Me. You must endeavor to live a life that is fitting for you and no one else. You should never allow society’s norms or allow people around you to influence your life. You must choose the life you want to live and one that is fitting to you.

13. I Promise to Rid Myself of Toxic People and Relationships. The only people you should keep around you are those who bring positive vibes into your life. Do not allow negativity and bad vibes to take residence in your life.

14. I Promise to Be Happy as Often as Possible. Happiness is a choice. Make the decision to be happy no matter what. Choose to be happy, and do not allow anything or anyone to take your joy. When going through hard times, you must fight harder to remain happy.

15. I Promise to Laugh and Fill My Life With the Sounds of Laughter. Make an effort to have a great laugh each day. There are so many things around that can help you to have a great laugh — find them. Rain or shine, good or bad, you must enjoy every day because all days are great days. Make laughter your medicine.

16. I Promise to Learn Something New Every Day. Pick up something new every day. Knowledge helps to build your confidence and will boost your self -worth and happiness for a long time.

17. I Promise That I Will Grow to My Fullest Capabilities. Refuse to remain comfortable. Being comfortable means you have stopped growing and improving. It takes work to better yourself and achieve the goals and dreams you set for your life.

18. I Promise I Will Embrace Changes. Change can be frightening, but it’s worth keeping an open mind when opportunities for change come your way. Work to ensure you do not resist or prevent the change. Become flexible and ready to accept the changes that will benefit you.

19. I Promise I Will Appreciate My Life. To appreciate your life doesn’t necessarily mean you are satisfied with where you are but that you will appreciate what you have achieved. Make every effort to remain grateful and to appreciate the life you have.

20. I Promise I Will Celebrate My Successes. Do not ignore all that you have achieved so far in your life. Celebrate your achievements no matter how insignificant they might seem to you. There are many people who would love to have what you consider insignificant.

21. I Promise to Let Go of the Hurt. Release all of the pain and hurt you have been holding onto throughout the years. You must also forgive yourself for holding onto them all this time.

22. I Promise to Allow Life to Lead Me to My Destiny. Instead of fighting and resisting life, agree to allow life to show you your path. Allow life to unfold the future for you — stop resisting and trust that you are right where you’re supposed to be.

23. I Promise to Take Time to Smell the Roses. Take time out to enjoy your life. Take the time to smell the flowers along the way. Life is short, so you must take the time to enjoy what it has to offer.

24. I Promise to Help Others. Take some time to assist those who are less fortunate. You might find that helping others not only takes the focus away from your troubles but allows you to see how much you have to be grateful for. This will not only take the spotlight off your issues but will make you happier as well.

25. I Promise to Forgive Others. Take the time to focus on forgiving those who have caused you pain, including yourself. It is sometimes easier to forgive others than to forgive one’s self.

26. I Promise to Meditate Daily. Take the time out to meditate. Meditation is extremely beneficial to the mind, and it also relaxes you and decreases your stress level.

27. I Promise to Work Hard For My Dreams. Do not stop until your dreams are realized. Continue to work hard day and night until you are successful, not in the way that others say, but in a way that resonates with you.

28. I Promise Not to Be Impatient With Me. Patience is a virtue, and that is so true. Learn to become more patient. Dreams will not happen overnight, and it is important to remember that it could take a long time. Be patient enough to go the distance.

29. I Promise to Know My Self-Worth. Value yourself. Know your worth and do not accept anything less than what you deserve

30. I Promise to Maintain My Self-Confidence. Maintaining confidence is of utmost importance for your success. Continue to work diligently to retain your confidence in spite of what is happening in your life. Remind yourself that confidence is the key to success.

31. I Promise to See the Hard Times as Fleeting. Everything lasts for a moment, including the difficult times. See hardship as something that will pass sooner or later because it will. Focus on the future, and know that nothing lasts forever, even the most difficult periods in your life.

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These promises helped me find who I am and accept myself. I hope they will help you do the same.

What promises have made to yourself that you intend to keep?