How to Find True Love
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While “How to Get Over a Breakup” was the number one requested article topic I’ve written on, it’s not surprising that a close second is the topic of How to Find True Love. Here’s an email from one reader:
“I’ve realized that one of my main goals is to find a worthwhile and long term relationship. I noticed you have entries on how to keep a relationship and on how to end a relationship so would you consider writing an entry on what you perceive to be the best way to find a worthwhile relationship. How to avoid making the same mistakes, overcoming fears, keeping up motivation after failure etc.”
– Gary (Dublin, Ireland)
Regardless of our culture, our level of education or economic status, at the depth of all of us are the same desires- to love, to be loved, and to be happy.
Of course we could add other desires to this list, like money and wealth and fancy things, but when you drill into these things, the reason for wanting them is so that we can appear more desirable, and will hopefully be loved and accepted.
If love is something so fundamentally important to us, then why is it that we have so many issues and misunderstandings in the area of finding it? I think the answer is simple, that most of us have never been educated in this fundamental area of our development. Chances are, you didn’t grow up with parents who were relationship experts, and we certainly didn’t study relationships in our high school curriculums. For most of us, it’s been an adventure in trial and error and learning through pain and heart-break. But is there an easier way?
In light of Valentine’s Day approaching this week, I am going to touch on one of my favorite topics of all time: finding love.
Personal Story
I spent most of my time in my late teens and early twenties on finding love, or so I thought at the time. In actuality I was seeking self-acceptance, approval and identity. I was deeply insecure and had a great fear of being alone. I jumped from relationship to relationship, all the while searching for myself. But the act of seeking self-worth through my external relationships took me further from that which I longed.
I’ve always been an ambitious person and in addition to my job, I’ve often worked on side projects and other interests. But whenever I found myself in a relationship, I would drop everything that was important to me and would focus exclusively on the person I was dating. You see, I didn’t respect myself, and I thought that finding someone to love me was more important than anything else. During these time-consuming romantic courtships, I was distancing myself further from my passions, my purpose and my true self.
Looking back, I had entered many of these relationships out of infatuation or loneliness. It was the fear of abandonment or the guilt of obligation that kept me in these relationships. I often got into and remained involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. I would convince myself that no one else out there would love me, and so I settled. Despite my surface appearance, I was deeply unhappy.
My freedom day came roughly two years ago. In a state of deep depression over unsatisfied relationships and through a growing despise of my gross dependencies on them, a miraculous understanding came to me and I experienced a moment of clarity. At that moment I made a vow to end the pain. (Read my detailed journal entry from that day here.)
I started to devour as much material and wisdom as I could find on the topic of relationships, and studied (and continue to study) with relationship expert Alison Armstrong. I have come a long way from being that insecure little girl, and have learned much about myself in the process. Most importantly I discovered that once I started to truly love myself, and to focus on my own inner peace and wellness, true love came looking for me.
Problematic Relationship Patterns
Let’s first look at some common relationship problems and why many romantic partnerships do not work out.
1. Ego, Fear, & Emotional Insecurities
As with material possessions or professional achievements, relationships give our ego a method by which to identify who we are to the outside world. The problem is that we attach so much of our identity to the external appearance of our relationships that we lose touch with the parts of ourselves that are wise and conscious. The attachment to this false identity leads to a feeling of desperation rather than fulfillment. After all, without the relationship, or the job, or whichever other false identity we have chosen, who would we be?
Besides the ego identification, it’s easy to develop a dependency on companionship. That independent person that we once were starts to evaporate. Our mind becomes fogged and as our self-identification begins to attach itself to the other person, unconsciously or consciously, we become afraid to lose that person. We become dependent on that person and fearful of loneliness.
Out of our emotional insecurities, we start to become needy and to seek out validation from our partner. So, instead of focusing on the celebration of love and partnership, it becomes a game of how to protect ourselves from loss.
2. Communication of Needs
Out of a desire to avoid appearing needy and out of a fear of losing our partner, we start to filter what we say. In doing so, we do not communicate our needs clearly, openly or bravely. We somehow become convinced that our partner will magically know what to do to fulfill our needs. When our needs are not met, we secretly blame the other person and begin to resent them. When we are unhappy, our partner will pick up on the cues, and in turn, secretly resent us, thus starting a vicious cycle in the silent destruction of a romantic partnership.
So much of what needed to be said was not said, and bad feelings are bottled up and start to accumulate for both parties. Have you ever had a friend come to you and complain about all of the things they are unhappy about with their partner? Those are the kinds of things they should be telling their partner, if they actually want a change.
Worse yet is when one partner openly communicates their needs only to find that the other party is simply not listening, or does not fully acknowledge what was said, or makes them feel guilty for having those needs.
3. Bad Fit and Settling by Default
Deep down, we are all really good people. But this doesn’t mean that any combination of two good people will make a good partnership. There is such thing as a bad fit, and it is okay to admit it.
The best fits are ones where the most important values for both people are met. They must have life goals that align with one another and have a mutual attraction, understanding, and level of respect for each other. Both people must be committed to making the partnership their top priority.
Sometimes, even when we realize that our relationship isn’t a good fit, we justify staying in it with what seem like logical reasons. We may feel that we won’t find another person who accepts and loves us as much as the current partner. Or we may be afraid to be alone, so we simply settle by default. Each time we are reminded of the bad fit, we brush it under the rug and distract ourselves with some other thought.
We may feel that we are doing a service to the other person by staying in the relationship, but in reality, we are hurting them by not being honest with them and ourselves. And we are accumulating bad feelings and bad energy in our inner space.
Who Is Your Ideal Mate?
We all have a rough idea of what our perfect partner is like: beautiful, or smart, or rich, or educated, or tall, or petite, or pale, or dark, or handsome, or fit, with this car, or with that house or whatever else that strikes our fancy.
Photo: Emily Helen, The Best Kauai Wedding Photographer
The problem comes when we find ourselves in a relationship and we are constantly comparing our partners with this conjured-up ‘perfect’ person. When that happens, we stop appreciating our partner for all the beautiful qualities they do possess.
The truth is this perfect person does not exist. More importantly, we may not actually need all of these qualities in a partner to be extraordinarily happy.
What we need is to identify the most important qualities that we must have in order to feel satisfied and fulfilled (more on creating a must-have list below). By not having identified the must-have qualities in our chosen life partner, we end up settling, and since the person cannot give us the things we truly need, we start to resent them. This will snowball into larger issues.
For example, if height is something that is really important to you, and your partner does not meet that height requirement, regardless of how much they try, they will never grow taller or shrink shorter, and this will bug you and affect your union.
In life, we will get random results if we have not specified what we want. Identifying and understanding what it is that we need in a relationship, allows us to set clear intentions, and in doing so, moves us closer to realizing our intended desires.
Identifying Must-Haves
Here’s a very affective exercise that I picked up from Alison Armstrong that will help you discover and identify the must-have qualities in your partner. I highly recommend taking at least 10 minutes to go through this, even if you are presently in a relationship.
Grab a pen and some paper. Find a place where you won’t be interrupted. Turn off the phone, the TV, the computer.
Ready? Here we go:
Step 1. The Perfect Image
On a blank piece of paper, list out all the qualities that your ideal partner will have. What kind of characteristics and qualities do you truly desire? Be creative and open. Use a bullet pointed list, not sentences. List out as many as possible, and use as many pieces of paper as needed.
Be as specific as you can. Get into details like physical attributes, values, lifestyle, views on money, spiritual beliefs, personality traits, hobbies, abilities, age, habits, profession, tastes, etc.
For physical attributes, include things like height, weight, body type, hair color, ethnicity, or anything that you would want if you had your choice in creating your ideal partner.
Step 2. Minimum Requirements (MR)
Minimum requirements are qualities you need from your partner, and without them, you will feel unwell or unsatisfied.
Go through each quality from step 1 and test it with this question:
“Would I rather be alone than be with a person who wasn’t [insert quality]?”
If the answer is yes, mark MR next to the quality, otherwise, leave it blank.
Don’t worry if your list sounds superficial or ridiculous. One MR item on my list is “Great dancer with rhythm and groove”, which may seem like a trivial or petty quality for some people, but is a deal breaker for me.
Step 3. Screening MRs
Now, filter through the MR list, for each item with the MR label, ask the following question:
“If a person had all the other qualities on my MR list, am I willing to let this quality go?”
If the answer is yes, cross out that MR.
The Selection Process
I believe it is crucial to identify and clearly communicate our relationship expectations and personal timelines early on in the dating phase. So often, we get into relationships with silent expectations of a future event that is important to us, thinking that our partner will come around to it when the time is right, only to find out several years later that things will never work out the way we expected. Some common unspoken issues of this nature revolve around marriage, children, financial goals, and even which city you settle down in.
First, be clear with yourself on these types of issues. Understand what kind of commitment you are looking for in a relationship, how you feel about children and where you plan to live. There are no wrong answers, but be honest and specific about what you are looking for in the current stage of your life.
Next, tell yourself that on all of your first dates, you will be clear with people about your relationship expectations and timeline, if any. It can be a scary and awkward experience at first, but it will become less of a nerve racking experience over time. And just think of all the time and emotional energy you are saving by being open from the get-go, instead of setting silent expectations that can lead to disappointment.
Photo by Mike BG
On my first dates with any guy, I found that telling them my expectations was pretty nerve-racking, especially for men I was really attracted to, since they could potentially run the other way. I would begin to tell myself that this would be too much of a shocking conversation for most people to handle on a first date. Why not just wait until date 5 or 6, when I know that he really likes me? The answer is that by then I would have emotionally attached myself to this person and would then be in a situation where I would either have to settle for less than what I wanted, or break it off. It would have been much better to have learned on the first date whether or not we were a good fit.
Personally, I was looking for a husband and to start a family. I would tell them that I wanted to get married before I turned 30 and to start making babies within two years of getting married. Oh, and I would also like to have two children. “Are you okay with that timeline?” I would ask them. The men who were okay with my timeline stayed and the ones who weren’t went away. No hurt feelings and everyone wins.
Many of us have latched onto this concept of finding “the one” person out there for us, and so we linger in every relationship that pops up, fearing that we might miss out on “the one”. Think about the fact that there are 6.8 billion people on the planet. Doesn’t it make more sense that “the one” is more likely to be “the one-hundred-thousand”? I genuinely believe that there are a countless number of people out there who will be great fits for us, and it’s just a matter of filtering through potential partners until we find one of them.
As such, communicating your desires, needs and expectations, ahead of time, becomes crucial. For example, if having children is of utmost importance to you and your partner is set against having kids, then likely the relationship will not last and both parties are wasting time in the process.
Dating shouldn’t be about settling out of a fear that a better fit might not come along. I believe that dating is about identifying the qualities you need in a person and in a relationship, and then “filtering” through as many people as it takes until you find someone who possesses all the important qualities that you need.
Have you ever had the experience of shopping for a car, and found that once you targeted in on the exact make, model, and color you wanted, you began to see that car everywhere? From my personal experience, I found that once I became clear with what I needed and expected in a partner and in a relationship, more eligible bachelors who had those qualities started showing up in my life.
Love Yourself First
As I mentioned in the article How to Overcome Breakups, the art of loving yourself is not only important in the healing process from love lost, but also in finding love. I believe that we cannot truly allow others to love us, until we first love ourselves.
Another way of looking at this is to imagine each person in a relationship as a wooden stick. If one person is independent and the other is dependent, it’s like one stick is standing perfectly vertical and the second stick is leaning against the vertical stick. If the vertical stick moves horizontally, the leaning stick will fall. When two people are both independent and joined together through love, it’s like two sticks standing vertically. When they join together, they become a larger and stronger stick and they become interdependent and stronger. If one stick moves horizontally, the other stick will move with it.
Practice loving yourself: take yourself on a date, do things that please and relax you, spend quality time with yourself, write love letters to yourself, practice saying and feeling “I love you” in the mirror.
Photo: Nathiya Prathnadi
Additionally, the practice of loving yourself makes you a more attractive person to the outside world.
When you truly love yourself, you will exude and spread a magnetic energy to those around you. Before you know it, you will be surrounded by those attracted to you for who you really are.
Forgiving Our Ex’s
When we hold onto unresolved issues from previous relationships, they become emotional baggage in our future relationships. I’ve found forgiving your ex’s to be a liberating exercise that contributes to the wellbeing of yourself and your future relationships.
A few years ago I sat down with, or phoned, several of my ex-boyfriends, and apologized for hurt feelings I may have caused, and expressed and forgave them for my own hurt feelings from the relationship. This experience brought closure to those relationships, removed the baggage, and allowed new friendships to develop.
A Few Words On Sex
For those of us who are sexually active, I would like to point out one thing. When you have an orgasm, there is a chemical change that takes place in your body. In particular, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin that binds you emotionally to the other person. For a man, the effects of this hormone last for 48 hours. For a woman, the effects last for 14 days.
This explains why, after having sex with someone who is clearly a bad fit for us, we can end up in a relationship with them, even if it’s for a short amount of time. Far too often, these relationships can turn into long term relationships that ultimately end badly.
It is recommended by relationship experts to not have sex during your dating and selection process unless you are okay with being emotionally bound to that person or having that person be emotionally bound to you for 14 days. Alison recommends not having sex with someone unless they fit all the qualities on your MR list.
For more information on this topic, read chapter four of “The Female Brain“, by Dr. Louann Brizendine.
Parting Words
People often ask, “Where should I go to find this person?” The logical answer provided by most is to go to places where such a person would hang out, but this practice can often lead to disappointment. My suggestion is to go through the exercises above to gain clarity on what you need and the types of relationships you want. Then spend time practicing the art of self-loving, while being open to the idea of your ideal mate entering your life. I would not actively seek it. Instead spend your efforts on self development.
As with all things of the heart, there is an ingredient of magic in finding love. There are no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. Love is beautiful and unpredictable. The best thing we can do is to start to become the most outstanding person possible. The universe will know when we are ready, and when we are, true love will happen, unexpectedly.
* Got a love story you want to share? Share your thoughts and stories with us in the comment section. See you there!
No love.
Forever alone.
Hi! I read most of the article, but I have been thinking how the world have been crazy. I refer to people’s behaviour in general, not just regarding romantic relationships. Near my city three building fell apart because the institution responsible on checking the quality of the material weren’t really doing their job. And in work, in the streets, everywhere we go we see more and more people wanting to manipulate others, or just do bad things in order to pursue what they want. Mostly, prestige and money. Well, I am outraged with what I have been seing.
I have love in my life, I have my sister, my family. But also, I grew up with a messed up father. Suming up, I overcame his abuses of violence. I no longer hate him, I’m really free. I am not completely free, actually, cause the fear of getting close to man, stil goes on. He cheats on my mother with no worry of disguising, she did everything for him. He does not talk to his family, she ofered him confort all these years, she insisted on him to go after his dreams… even after ALL he had done. Now, I see how unworthy he is. This just, the fact that I have had much contact with, living in the same house and all, it is hard for me to believe a guy can actually not beat a woman, not cheat, and truly repesct her. I know, there are some reasonable guys out there, I have friends. But when it comes to relationships, all they seek is sex, like you are disposable. That’s why I have 22 years old, have never had a boyfriend and feel safer that way. (If you are curious, I had a lot of flins, my favorite kind of way to relate to a guy, was just seeing them once, makeing out and never seeing again… even if they ask for my phone, or give a tip that they might want to continue something). Is there someone who could give me a different perspective? Different exeperiences, or a little hope?
Hi Julia!
I understand that you don’t believe in men because of the bad attitude your dad has had with your mom all these years. However, it doesn’t mean that everybody is the same. There are people who really respect and love others, specially their significant ones, you will realize of that sooner or later. I think there is no reason on Earth why a person should treat another like your father did.Obviously been witness of a relation where there was violence from the male side, caused a psychological effect on you.That’s the reason why you don’t trust men, because of a negative pattern seen for a long time at home. Are you still dealing with the same situation? I would like to hear from you Julia and be your friend!
wow! impressing
What is?
This all makes sense IF you have guys to choose from. Everyone seems to think I have an amazing social life when in fact there is ZERO going on. I don’t even know of any single men. All couples. None of my friends know of any single guys, either, except for very obvious weirdos — guys with cats who use man purses and have B.O. and erectile dysfunction. Everyone is hooked up. Online, it’s worse. Guys my age looking for 20 year olds. How low do I have to lower my standards? 25 years older? Fat? Accountants? I just can’t.
Here is a fact
there is no pure love in this world ..
I think the love will be experinced properly in heaven .
in this world .. there is love but it is mixed with other bad factors like : greed , ego and to take benefit and that’s it .
can you find a girle or a guy who is willing to devote him/her self to you completly ?
The answer is 1/1000000 … don’t count the zeros .. they are 6
When I was 6, I was in a sever car accident; I lost a little brother, and spent 3 months in the hospital. After that, I found it impossible to love myself. I went through grade school, middle school, and high school, suffering from depression, survivors guilt, and epilepsy. I never did date or party, or do any of the typical teenage things. I was at a breaking point, in 2011, when I went to a support chat, and everything changed. I started talking to a user in the chat, kept that up for several weeks, and eventually moved on to texting, and phone calls. We finally met, the week of Thanksgiving. I took a 48 hour Greyhound bus trip, out to meet a woman whom I had only talked to, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I can’t wait until we start a family.
I really wish & want to believe that the advice in this article will help me find someone. I’ve dreamt of settling down my whole life.
Interestingly, what I’ve suddenly realized is WHY all of my previous relationships (& friendships) have not worked out. I looked at my MR list and at the top I’d actually written ‘not be someone’s 2nd choice’. In every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve ALWAYS run around after them, put their needs/wants before mine and have given up all my dreams just to avoid being alone. Which I now am.
On the basis of this realization, I have just made 2 decisions:
(1) to join some local classes, on my own, doing something I fancy learning, just for me.
(2) I’m NEVER going to put someone before me again, even if that means being alone for good. (I figure I can’t be any more alone than I currently am, so what do I have to lose?)
I wish you all great success in finding someone who truly wants you and someone you truly want too.
Been reading many comments here and I found them very interesting.
Never give up on your dreams, never give up on finding the right person to share all the moments of Joy and sadness with. No one is perfect, we all have imperfections. Always look at the positives in people, they do shine through.
I believe there is a right person for someone out there, some of us may have to endure the mountains to find them, but never give up. Everyone deserves to find that happiness. It all starts with us. If you give up it will never happen, but if you try and put aside fear, you may supprise yourself.
Sometimes it takes something as little as faith.
I have been looking to meet someone new, Its nice to meet new people, so I joined a site to do this: http://juicyredapple.com.au (JRA) Even If I succeed in finding friendship. It all counts!
Anyways Good luck everyone. and thanks for the articles, they were enlighting :)
Love. Wow. Love? People still look for that? people still think that can happen. Looka t the way people are. Slimy, fake, hateful, the only reason why they want love is so they can have sex. If love exists, it is for the ones with wealith or beauty. if you are not good- looking, or rich you will not find it. Don’t misjudge me as a nice guy either. Nice guys finish first if they got money or looks. So do bad boys. I tell many that I want love and they all say “oh, yuo don;t need it. Love the people around you. F*** that. I do love the people around me. What’s wrong with wanting love? What wanting love a s a 19-year old and saying I need a girl Makes me some perverted sex pervert F***twat? Dear god -_-. If you don’t like my ranting, I apologize but I’m gonna say what i need to say. I may not be prince Charming but I think I deserve a little bit of love. I’ve always been the one being picked on, I’ve always been the one people are fake too. Is it too much to ask to actually have a girl love me for me and not be told “Oh, you need to love yourself first”. “Oh don’t go for looks just go for personality”. Or all the fake people saying “Oh you’ll find somebody. Everyone does.” “You’ll figure it out, everyone does” It pisses me off really. The author talks about how she went from relationship to relationship when she was in High School. That’s great. I’ve had one peck on the lips my whole entire f***ing life. I can’t even understand half of what people say, because I don’t know s*** about relationships because I’ve never even been in one. I have this thing called Asperger’s which makes it hard for me to even connect with people. I’m this skinny little kid with glasses, acne, red hair, and absolutely no self-confidence. They say you have to love yourself before you can find love. My dad walked out on me when i was 2 years old. I’ve evn started praying to God just because I want a girl so bad. In the Expendables there’s aline that goes “Those who do best with women are the ones who least need it” I’m not gonna lie, it’s true. the weak ones like me don’t find love. yeah i just told you all my life story and I didn’t do it for you. I ddi it because I need to just write on this. hate it, call me a little POS like evryone else. But I’m a little weak boy who wants love. FML.
Hi Tina
Thank you for sharing that and I hope you are very well? I don’t necessarily agree with all your points, but some most definitely. I found my True Soul Mate in Oct 07, but disaster was to hit and it almost cost me my life from a broken heart. It led me to create my own blog – http://www.theSarayiahpost.com which is my views on Life, Love and Relationships to help others… In 7 months it is now one of the most read websites in the UK.
Maybe you are your readers may also find it helps them.
Happy Easter.
Love
Isaac Sarayiah
love needs only true path which who select this path luck will with him always and his life partner always loves you in true heart!!!!!!!(smartyaweralwayslovesaarifa)
Fantastic piece! I’ve just had to deal with a guy I really really liked – I genuinely thought that he was different – who told me that I was “a kid” (age gap wise) and that he wanted to be close friends after having an emotional relationship to him.
It’s a bit like kidnappers telling you to stay in touch!
I found how much I relate to your Personal Experience part; it felt like I was reading myself on the screen. It’s a rotten rut and it’s so hard to break out of and I’ve reached that same realisation that you did.
Thank you, your piece has given me a bit of hope and more importantly: Find myself, focus on myself and build myself into a strong character.
Thank you :)
I really enjoyed your article, it is well written and well interpreted. I want to tell some of the readers who are on the opinion that relationship can not be taught, you are right and wrong at the same time. you are right because, no body knows you but yourself and you alone can tell what makes you happy and what does not. you are wrong on the other hand because no matter how lovely a person is with you, you still need knowledge and knowledge can be gotten from reading pieces of articles such as this one you just read, and seeking advice and guidance from pros in the field of relationship who have read more relationship books than you.
I also want to correct lots of people who are on the opinion that true love will just find them if they are meant to be. look let me tell you, true love can only find you if you work for it. even the bible told us that faith without work is a waste of time. you have to work hard to find true love by doing many things; such as not hanging out when you are not meant to, reducing the number of the opposite sex you keep as friends and only selecting those that matters, sacrificing so much to find that person whom you desire etc. you can’t sit down and fold your arms and expect true love to fall from the sky to you. some people even after finding true love, still don’t apply much efforts with the concept that if the person is theirs, the person will definitely stay. the world we live is not a world of magic, you have to please the person who is with you before the person will think of staying with you for life. how many of you have watched the movie; 500 days of summer? the movies explained better that things including true love doesn’t come by chance but you have to seek and find it. even the bible said that he who finds a wife, finds something good. the word there; ‘find’ means that we have to search and seek to find. please, true love doesn’t fall from the sky. I believe this link will explain better how to find true love and the qualities of true love;
http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com/2012/01/what-are-qualities-of-true-love.html and http://www.trueloverelationship-advice.com/2012/03/how-to-find-true-love.html
I’ve read a lot of posts on love & relationships over the years, but this one really resonated with me. Thank you for having such a strong, articulated perspective.
Thank you very much. Truly inspiring.
Sigh, I have no idea why I cannot find a true love. I have no idea why I happen to meet the women who are married or have boyfriends (bad luck). Nothing works for me above even I love myself and I forgive myself as I forgive others. I have no high expectations of who I look for regardless of race. For many years, I keep praying to God to help me to find a true love. Nothing happens at all even I go out and meet others. A true love has not found me yet for 11 “pain” years. All I want is a very simple love without appearances, materials and incomes. Maybe, I am a “bad luck” person even I am a very good guy.
“True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.”
The title is a bit misleading. This is not on “How to Find True Love” but on “How to find an ideal partner without seeming unrealistic”. That’s fine. I don’t judge. But I felt obliged to let you know, that 98% percent of people don’t find True Love. It’s the sad truth. Face it, read the article then, find yourself a good gal/guy, and be done with your romantic ideals.
Cheerio
i am a straight man looking to find love, but it is very hard these days trying to find the right woman to connect with. with so many women now that have such an attitude problem, and they are so very hard to communicate with. and many women now are not looking for men anymore like they once did, making it even harder. why is this?
Are you kidding me? That’s not true. I have been looking, reading on how to improve myself, love myself, and all the prescriptions required to find love. I find that the men I meet don’t know what they want and they’re so picky.
i sure hope i can find a good woman for me, it is very hard these days connecting with the right one.
Hi have you found yourself a good women yet coz im looking for a good man.
I loved the article.
What I would like to add here is that I came across this blog. I
think you will like what’s there on this blog:
yinyanglove.wordpress.com
Read it. You might just find someone through that blog… :)
A true love is never Death…!
No one can stop me loving you.(F)
hi ive read it all but nothing is helping me out i feel so alone and lonely i just need love ;-(
Its good that you have found a way that works for you, but if I was confronted with a timeline on a first date I would run a mile. And establishing MRs and the like… I mean… Call me old fashioned but what about the passion?! You only get one life… I’ll take fireworks and imperfect stumbling over spreadsheets and a Gataca style relationship plan any day!
This was an amazing article. I have plagued myself bad relationships for my entire life and never experienced mutual love. Reading your words gives me hope; now I understand I was simply going about love the wrong way. Thank you for forever changing my love life.